Blog Archive

Story: The wow approach



Last spring I was walking in a park. A short distance ahead of me was a mom and her three-year-old daughter. The little girl was holding on to a string that was attached to a helium balloon. 
All of a sudden, a sharp gust of wind took the balloon from the little girl. I braced myself for some screaming and crying.
But, no! As the little girl turned to watch her balloon go skyward, she gleefully shouted out, "Wow!"
I didn't realize it at that moment, but that little girl taught me 
something.
Later that day, I received a phone call from a person with news of an unexpected problem. I felt like responding with "Oh no, what should we do?" But remembering that little girl, I found myself saying, "Wow, that's interesting! How can I help you?"
One thing's for sure - life's always going to keep us off balance with its unexpected problems. That's a given. What's not preordained is our response. We can choose to be frustrated or fascinated.
No matter what the situation, a fascinated "Wow!" will always beat a frustrated "Oh, no."
So the next time you experience one of life's unexpected gusts, remember that little girl and make it a "Wow!" experience. The "Wow!" response always works . 

Anger Analysis :)

Anger

Written by: Arthur Gordon

 

At a turbulent public meeting once I lost my temper and said some harsh and sarcastic things. The proposal I was supporting was promptly defeated.

 

My father who was there, said nothing, but that night, on my pillow I found a marked passage from Aristotle: "Anybody can become angry--that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way--that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

Analyze your anger, starting today :)

5 original qualities we pollute

Our original resources are very simply - peace, love, purity, knowledge and happiness. In Yoga meditation these are called the five original qualities of the soul. When we return our consciousness to these five qualities and remember them, then the following feelings arise in us, which finally get reflected in our actions:

• Love: I care and I share.
• Peace: I harmonize and reconcile (adjust).
• Purity: I respect and I honour.
• Knowledge: I am and I exist.
• Happiness: I express and I enjoy.

To understand and remember these qualities, we need to recognize the heavy deep shadows or personality traits which have blotted them out, or polluted them. Sometimes we don't recognize the pollutants because they have ingrained themselves so deeply into the personality that we say 'I am this'. True, complete spiritual knowledge, makes us aware of these pollutants and the practice of meditation empowers us to dilute them and get them out of our consciousness
--
 



Ways of Think Outside the Box






Think Outside the Box, Thinking matters, Think ahead of time? Think with creativity, innovation, problem-solving, solution oriented

Think Outside the Box, Thinking matters, Think ahead of time? Think with creativity, innovation, problem-solving, solution oriented 

Thinking outside the box is more than just a business cliché. It means approaching problems in new, innovative ways; conceptualizing problems differently; and understanding your position in relation to any particular situation in a way you'd never thought of before. Ironically, its a cliché that means to think of clichéd situations in ways that aren't clichéd.

We're told to "think outside the box" all the time, but
  • How exactly do we do that?
    How do we develop the ability to confront problems in ways other than the ways we normally confront problems?
    How do we cultivate
the ability to look at things differently from the way we typically look at things?
Thinking outside the box starts well before we're "boxed in" – that is, well before we confront a unique situation and start forcing it into a familiar "box" that we already know how to deal with. Or at least think we know how to deal with.

Here are 11 ways to beef up your out-of-the-box thinking skills. Make an effort to push your thinking up to and beyond its limit every now and again – the talents you develop may come in handy the next time you face a situation that "everybody knows" how to solve.

Ethical issues in different organization

By Junaid Tahir
A friend of mine was very nervous today because he wasn't  dealt nicely by his manager. The error on his part was that he included another colleague in a specific email correspondence whom his manager didn't want him to. This lead me pondering over 'Professional Maturity' & 'Ethical Issues in different Organizations' hence I started re-calling my not so long 10 years professional career to compile the list of issues:

1-    Wrong Resource selection (wrong person for the right job) and dropping/ignoring the right one.
2-   Favoritism (Nationalism / Languagism)
3-   No Appreciation & Encouragement
4-   Back biting & Leg pulling
5-   Gossips
6-   Illogical Promotion
7-   Non-uniform task assignment to employee.
8-   Mismanagement in Training & Skill polishing
9-   Rough and tough behavior by managers in case of mistakes.

Here is some recommendations which need to be implemented for the corrective and preventive remedies:
 this article written by Junaid (mjunaidtahir at gmail dot com) feel free to comment.
-      Ethical help lines should be available in companies. The process has to be completely neutral & private.
-      Managerial level audits should be done by neutral staff in order to ensure that staff is treated neutrally and irrespective of favoritism.
-      Mature employees should keep 'sniffing' the bad air in office in terms of gossips  & backbiting and report to the relevant management for corrective and preventive measures.
-      Reward & talent recognition system needs to be transparent.
-      Promotions to be done based on actual Talent.


10 Coolest Flooring Designs




10 Coolest Flooring Designs

Published on Today 1/4/2012 under Cool Home Design - by Gracie Murano

 

Optical Illusion Floor

This optical illusion carpet, spotted in a Paris video game store, provides an illusion of a vortex floor. (Link)

Leather Belt Floor

(Belt) strapped for cash? Forget 'affordable' for a minute and just imagine the curious combination of feeling aged leather beneath your feet, and the look of vintage belts lining the floors of your home. Leather flooring is fairly unusual, but these upcycled belt designs are unique – each one hand-crafted and with individually-selected old belts.

OK, but the price? Over 600 dollars for the round mat shown above from BranchHome and over 70 dollars per square foot for the floor tiles from Ting.
(Link | Via)

Penny Floor

A floor literally tiled with thousands of copper pennies… it's pretty surprising to look down and see them when you walk into The Standard Grill in The Standard Hotel, New York. The design was selected by the restaurant's designers, Robin Standefer and Stephen Alesch of New York design firm - Roman and Williams. (Link)



Radiant Heat Floor

Take off your shoes and feel the warmth coming up through that radiant heat flooring. It's not only one of the coolest ways to get warm (no pun intended), but it's also really energy efficient because, unlike traditional heating systems, you don't lose the heat. With traditional baseboard heating or forced hot air heating, a lot of the energy you use to heat your home is wasted because much of the heat produced is immediately lost. But with radiant floors, that warmth is transferred directly to you as you come in contact with the floor. And it takes advantage of something we all know - hot air rises - so when the heat is generated underneath the floor, it does what it's supposed to, which is go directly up. Aside from the fact that it keeps your indoor temperature up, and your heating bills down, it's just plain fantastic. (Link)

Aerial Photo Floor

Check out the Flying Carpet next time you're in Sacramento. Created by California-based artist Seyed Alavi, the carpet is an aerial view of the Sacramento River as it flows for 50 miles, between the California towns of Colusa and Chico. The 18-foot-wide, 150-foot-long image is woven and dyed into the carpet covering a walkway that connects the main parking lot and Terminal A. Alavi won a competition of more than 100 artists that submitted proposals for upgrading the walkway. (Link)

Salt Floor

Every once in a while, though, we run across someone who has taken the industry to a whole new level. Japanese Artist Motoi Yamamoto has found his medium in grains of salt - billions and billions of them. Yamamoto adheres plain table salt to floor surfaces, creating extremely intricate patterns & landscapes. The result is pretty amazing and can be a dizzying optical illusion if you stare too long. To prep, the artist draws the most complex mazes and labyrinths imaginable, plotting out his design.

His creations are for exhibition only and aren't meant for permanent floor design, which is fortunate, because it'd take just one mildly rude friend to undo hours upon hours of work.
(Link)

Puzzle Floor

This floor is something that stands out from the crowd. The new Puzzle Floor elicits expressions of surprise and amazement. A perfect solution for children's bedrooms, but not only. Available in 13 colors, the tiles can be mixed for unique, personalized installations. (Link)

Human Traffic Floor

Alistair Bramley's Dimension laminate flooring is a futuristic take on laminate floor design. The patterns are created using the natural movement of people within a set environment. Obstacles such as furniture are incorporated into the floor design. Video footage of how people used the room space was captured, processed and then printed onto the floor. This takes bespoke flooring to the next level. (Link)

Etched Floor

Some prefer the raw texture of hand-scraped hardwood floors, while others want the modern look (and low costs) of laminate wood flooring. These patterned wooden planks provide artistic relief somewhere in between – an honest contemporary take on classic material and installation approaches.

This decorative flooring series from Mafi provides a fresh outlook on manufactured floors, etching designs that range from abstract floral patterns to playfully embossed stick figures. The pre-engraved slats are shallow enough not to collect dirt and dust (at least in theory), but deep enough to be felt underfoot by bare feet or with socks – each features a darker 'burned' look or a consistent surface treatment where variation is seen only by reflection, light and shadow.
(Link)

Interactive Floor

Billed as the world's first truly "sustainable dance club", Club Watt is based in Rotterdam in the Netherlands and aims to use 50 per cent less waste and 30 per cent less energy than a typical club. To achieve its goals, it's working to the green guidelines of a non-profit organization known as the Sustainable Dance Club.

As well as generating energy, the dance floor has an interactive element. As you dance, its appearance changes through the LED lighting embedded in the panels, which are made from recycled materials.
(Link)

 

 
*M Junaid Tahir
http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
http://ae.linkedin.com/in/mjunaidtahir
https://groups.google.com/group/ParadigmWisdom

What Parents Can Do to Change Their Child's Behavior

How do I stop misbehavior?

The best way to stop unwanted behavior is to ignore it. This way works best over a period of time. When you want the behavior to stop immediately, you can use the time-out method.

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How do I use the time-out method?

Decide ahead of time the behaviors that will result in a time-out (usually tantrums, or aggressive or dangerous behavior). Choose a time-out place that is uninteresting for the child and not frightening, such as a chair, corner or playpen. When you're away from home, consider using a car or a nearby seating area as a time-out place.

When the unacceptable behavior occurs, tell the child the behavior is unacceptable and give a warning that you will put him or her in time-out if the behavior doesn't stop. Remain calm and don't look angry. If your child goes on misbehaving, calmly take him or her to the time-out area.

If possible, keep track of how long your child's been in time-out. Set a timer so your child will know when time-out is over. Time-out should be brief (generally 1 minute for each year of age), and should begin immediately after reaching the time-out place or after the child calms down. You should stay within sight or earshot of the child, but don't talk to him or her. If the child leaves the time-out area, gently return him or her to the area and consider resetting the timer. When the time-out is over, let the child leave the time-out place. Don't discuss the bad behavior, but look for ways to reward and reinforce good behavior later on.

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How do I encourage a new, desired behavior?

One way to encourage good behavior is to use a reward system. Children who learn that bad behavior is not tolerated and that good behavior is rewarded are learning skills that will last them a lifetime. This works best in children older than 2 years of age. It can take up to 2 months to work. Being patient and keeping a diary of behavior can be helpful to parents.

Choose 1 to 2 behaviors you would like to change (for example, bedtime habits, tooth brushing or picking up toys). Choose a reward your child would enjoy. Examples of good rewards are an extra bedtime story, delaying bedtime by half an hour, a preferred snack or, for older children, earning points toward a special toy, a privilege or a small amount of money.

Explain the desired behavior and the reward to the child. For example, "If you get into your pajamas and brush your teeth before this TV show is over, you can stay up a half hour later." Request the behavior only one time. If the child does what you ask, give the reward. You can help the child if necessary but don't get too involved. Because any attention from parents, even negative attention, is so rewarding to children, they may prefer to have parental attention instead of a reward at first. Transition statements, such as, "In 5 minutes, play time will be over," are helpful when you are teaching your child new behaviors.

This system helps you avoid power struggles with your child. However, your child is not punished if he or she chooses not to behave as you ask; he or she simply does not get the reward.

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What are some good ways to reward my child?

Beat the Clock (good method for a dawdling child)

Ask the child to do a task. Set a timer. If the task is done before the timer rings, your child gets a reward. To decide the amount of time to give the child, figure out your child's "best time" to do that task and add 5 minutes.

The Good Behavior Game (good for teaching a new behavior)

Write a short list of good behaviors on a chart and mark the chart with a star each time you see the good behavior. After your child has earned a small number of stars (depending on the child's age), give him or her a reward.

Good Marks/Bad Marks (best method for difficult, highly active children)

In a short time (about an hour) put a mark on a chart or on your child's hand each time you see him or her performing a good behavior. For example, if you see your child playing quietly, solving a problem without fighting, picking up toys or reading a book, you would mark the chart. After a certain number of marks, give your child a reward. You can also make negative marks each time a bad behavior occurs. If you do this, only give your child a reward if there are more positive marks than negative marks.

Developing Quiet Time (often useful when you're making supper)

Ask your child to play quietly alone or with a sibling for a short time (maybe 30 minutes). Check on your child frequently (every 2 to 5 minutes, depending on the child's age) and give a reward or a token for each few minutes they were quiet or playing well. Gradually increase the intervals (go from checking your child's behavior every 2 to 5 minutes to checking every 30 minutes), but continue to give rewards for each time period your child was quiet or played well.

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What else can I do to help my child behave well?

Make a short list of important rules and go over them with your child. Avoid power struggles, no-win situations and extremes. When you think you've overreacted, it's better to use common sense to solve the problem, even if you have to be inconsistent with your reward or punishment method. Avoid doing this often as it may confuse your child.

Accept your child's basic personality, whether it's shy, social, talkative or active. Basic personality can be changed a little, but not very much. Try to avoid situations that can make your child cranky, such as becoming overly stimulated, tired or bored. Don't criticize your child in front of other people. Describe your child's behavior as bad, but don't label your child as bad. Praise your child often when he or she deserves it. Touch him or her affectionately and often. Children want and need attention from their parents.

Develop little routines and rituals, especially at bedtimes and meal times. Provide transition remarks (such as "In 5 minutes, we'll be eating dinner."). Allow your child choices whenever possible. For example, you can ask, "Do you want to wear your red pajamas or your blue pajamas to bed tonight?"

As children get older, they may enjoy becoming involved in household rule making. Don't debate the rules at the time of misbehavior, but invite your child to participate in rule making at another time.

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Why shouldn't I use physical punishment?

Parents may choose to use physical punishment (such as spanking) to stop undesirable behavior. The biggest drawback to this method is that although the punishment stops the bad behavior for a while, it doesn't teach your child to change his or her behavior. Disciplining your child is really just teaching him or her to choose good behaviors. If your child doesn't know a good behavior, he or she is likely to return to the bad behavior. Physical punishment becomes less effective with time and can cause the child to behave aggressively. It can also be carried too far -- into child abuse. Other methods of punishment are preferred and should be used whenever possible.

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/behavior/201.html

What Parents Can Do to Change Their Child's Behavior

 

30 Habits that Will Change your Life






Developing good habits is the basic of personal development and growth. Everything we do is the result of a habit that was previously taught to us. Unfortunately, not all the habits that we have are good, that's why we are constantly trying to improve.
The following is a list of 30 practical habits that can make a huge difference in your life.
You should treat this list as a reference, and implement just one habit per month. This way you will have the time to fully absorb each of them, while still seeing significant improvements each month.

Health habits

  1. Exercise 30 minutes every day. Especially if you don't do much movement while working, it's essential that you get some daily exercise. 30 minutes every day are the minimum recommended for optimal health.
  2. Eat breakfast every day. Breakfast is the more important meal of the day, yet so many people skip it. Personally, I like to eat a couple of toasts in the morning along with a fruit beverage.
  3. Sleep 8 hours. Sleep deprivation is never a good idea. You may think that you are gaining time by sleeping less, when in reality you are only gaining stress and tiredness. 8 hours are a good number of hours for most people, along with an optional 20 minutes nap after lunch.
  4. Avoid snacking between meals. Snacking between meals is the best way to gain weight. If you are hungry, eat something concrete. Otherwise don't. Update: for clarification, I mean don't eat junk food between meals, but eating real food it's ok.
  5. Eat five portions of fruits and vegetables every day. Our body and brain loves getting vegetables and fruit, so I highly recommend eating as much of them as possible. Five portions is the dose that's usually recommended by many health associations.
  6. Eat fish. Fish is rich of omega 3 and other healthy elements. At least one meal per week of fish should be enough for getting all these nutrients.
  7. Drink one glass of water when you wake up. When you wake up, your body is dehydrated and needs liquid. Make the habit of drinking one glass of water after you wake up in the morning. Also, drink more during the day.
  8. Avoid soda. Soda is often one of the most unhealthy beverage you can find. Limit your consumption of soda as much as possible and you're body will be grateful for that.
  9. Keep your body clean. I don't advise spending your day in front of the mirror, but a minimum of personal care does never hurt.
  10. If you smoke, stop it. There's no reason to smoke anymore, and quitting is possible.
  11. If you drink, stop it. Same as above. Don't think that alcohol will solve your problems. It never does.
  12. Take the stairs. This is just a hack that forces you to do a minimum of exercise. Instead of taking the elevator, take the stairs.

Productivity habits

  1. Use an inbox system. Make the habit of keeping track of all the ideas and things that comes to mind. You can use a notebook to do this, and then sync everything on your computer.
  2. Prioritize. If you have a list of things to do, where do you start? One way is to prioritize your list. If you are in doubt, ask yourself: "If I could only accomplish one thing today, what would it be?"
  3. Plan, but not too much. Planning is important, and you should decide in advance what you are going to do today or this week. However, planning for more than a few weeks is usually inefficient, so I would not worry too much about that.
  4. Wake up early. Waking up early in the morning is a great way to gain extra time. I personally like to wake up at 5 am, so that by 9 am I have already accomplished what otherwise would have taken me many days..
  5. Check your email only twice per day. Email can easily become an addiction, but it's usually unnecessary to check it every 10 minutes. Make an effort and check your email only once or twice per day, see if the world will still rotate as before after you try this.
  6. Eliminate unimportant tasks. Being busy all day does not mean you are doing important stuff. Eliminate every activity that's not important, and focus on what really matters.
  7. Clean off your desk and room. Having a clear room and desk is important to maintain focus and creativity.
  8. Automate. There are a lot of tasks that you need to perform every day or every week. Try to automate them as much as possible.
  9. Set strict deadlines. When you do something, decide in advance when you're going to stop. There's a rule that states that you will fulfill all the time you have available for completing a task, so make an habit of setting strict deadlines for maximizing your productivity.
  10. Take one day off per week. Instead of working every day, take one day off per week (for example sunday) where you are not going to turn on your computer. Use that time for doing recreational activities like going for a walk.

Personal Development habits

  1. Read 1 book per week. Reading is a good way to keep your brain active. With just 30 minutes per day you should be able to read one book per week, or more than 50 books per year.
  2. Solve puzzles. Quizzes, word games, etc. are all good ways to exercise your brain.
  3. Think positively. You are what you think, all the time.
  4. Make fast decisions. Instead of thinking for one hour wherever you are going to do something, make your decisions as fast as possible (usually less than 1 minute).
  5. Wait before buying. Waiting 48 hours before buying anything is a tremendous money saver, try it.
  6. Meditate 30 minutes per day. A great way to gain clearness and peace is through meditation. 30 minutes are not a lot, but enough to get you started with meditation.

Career habits

  1. Start a blog. Blogging is one of the best way to put your word out. It doesn't have to be around a specific topic, even a personal blog will do.
  2. Build a portfolio. If your job is creating stuff, building a portfolio is a great way to show what you are capable of. You can also contribute stuff for free if that applies to your work.
What do you think? What are the habits that changed your life?
Update: A reader put together a downloadable copy of all these habits. Check it out here.
http://freestylemind.com/30-habits-that-will-change-your-life
 *M Junaid Tahir
http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
http://ae.linkedin.com/in/mjunaidtahir
https://groups.google.com/group/ParadigmWisdom

Some Quotes which I believe in

1.     Failing to plan is planning to fail.

 

2.     Winners don't do different things, they do things differently.

 

3.     Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break.

 

4.     Time management is life management so guard your time with great care

 

5.     You must discover that which makes us unique.

 

6.     We must become the change we want to see. --Mahatma Gandhi

 

7.     "If you do everything with the feeling of happiness, there will be no task too difficult to perform."

 

8.     Keep track of what you do, there is someone surely to ask.

 

9.     Know more than other, work more than others, expect less than others. (Three keys to success)

 

10.   Don't compare yourself with someone else, if you do so, you are insulting yourself.

 

11.   If someone feels that they have never made mistake in their life this means they never tried new things in the life

 

12.   Everyone thinks to change the world but no one thinks to change himself/herself.

 

13.   You are today where your thoughts have brought you;  you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. (James Allen)

 

14.   Any task we approach with a negative attitude is already half lost.

 

15.   The impossible can always be broken down into possibilities

 

16.   If you always do your best you will be free from regrets

 

17.   Know Your G.P.M. (Goal + Plan + Measurements) - Goal: what do u want to do. Plan: how you are going to do. Measurement: what to measure when.

 

18.   A thousand disappointments in the past cannot equal the power of one positive action right now. Go ahead and go for it.

 

19.   If you've previously told yourself that it can't be done, this is the moment to change your assumption. When you can dream it, imagine it and visualize it, you can do it.

 

20.  Instead of making excuses, make some progress. Instead of looking back with regret, step forward with enthusiasm.

 

21.   If you focus too much on the past, you'll be held back by limitations that may no longer even exist. Instead, look forward with positive expectation, and you'll find yourself quickly moving in a forward direction.

 

22.  Believing everybody is dangerous; believing nobody is very dangerous.

 

23.  "The quality of our thoughts determines our own personal degree of happiness."

 

24.  If you cannot bite, never show your teeth.

 

25.  Those who think it can not be done must get out of the way of those who think it can be done!

 

26.  I don't need luck I have skills.

 

27.  "To have fear means, that I am danger to myself as well as to others."

 

Count them one by one


By Junaid Tahir:
There are things in life you don't forget even after years and years. I am sure you would have several memories from the past which are still vivid in your mind.  Just like that, I want to share a thing with you today. This is related to my visit to my aunts' village in Punjab during my teen age where I saw one wall hanging calendar having these superb lines.

When your head is on the pillow
And the day is almost done
Count God's Blessings
Count them one by one

Let us try to understand this concept further by listing down some of the major blessings which have been and being showered by God to each one of us. Also let us audit ourselves on how often we are thankful to God for these blessings.

So if we ponder to list down the blessing, we have so many major categories like Social blessings, Family Relations blessings, Financial Blessings, Professional Blessing, Mental & Spiritual Blessing, Educational Blessings, Environmental, Eating, sleeping, communications skills, speaking and so on. If I start analyzing each category, I will end up with so many sub-categories which will lead me writing a complete book on the subject. So Just to give you an idea on how to go deep into this concept, let us take example of our eyes.

God has given us eyes to look… First of all, the size, color, shape and performance factors are to be considered. What could we do if size or color or shape was not in the right way? The eyes are with us since our birth. If you are 30 years of age, you have been using this blessing for the last 30*365*24 = 46,800 hours. Whatever you have achieved in your life its because of the presence of your eyes…. You were able to read, watch & get education.  How often you have been really thankful to God for this? When something wrong happens to our eyes we go to hospital and pay the charges but have we ever  thought that God has never sent us the bill for this service which we are using for thousands & thousands of hours. God forbid, if your eyes don't work for 12 hours, your life will be miserable, indeed miserable!

The above example is for one of the countless blessings and free services of Lord which we are enjoying every second of your life. So its extremely important for us to be thankful to Lord. Now the question rises, how to be thankful? The answer is to remember the Lord whenever possible and as much as we can. From spiritual & mental perspective its very good for the soul and brain to think about blessings as it will give us the sense of possession of things which will result in peace of heart, mind and soul. Another way to be thankful to God is by supporting His people who are less blessed. For example, taking care of widows on monthly basis, taking responsibility of education of child(ren), giving charity to Hospitals / Orphan houses on monthly basis by allocating 3-5% of your monthly salary and contributing to several other causes.

Last paragraph for Muslims Only: Allah says in Quran that La-in-Shakar-tum La-Azeedanna-kum wa-la-in kafartum inna azabi la-shadeed. (If you are thankful to Me, I shall give you More…) This is a very powerful tip for all muslims on how to seek Allah's blessings more and more so it is extremely important to remember Allah as much as we can to have peace of mind. We must make it habit to do tasbeeh of Alhamdolillah and subhanAllah every night and ponder about Allah's blessings. We must encourage & remind each one of our family members to start this practice and do it for the rest of our life. May Allah include us in in the group of Shakereen. Ameen. This article is written by Junaid (mjunaidtahir at gmail dot com). Feel free to give feedback

Story: Two brothers



This is a story of two brothers. One was a drug addict and a drunkard who frequently beat up his family. The other one was a very successful businessman who was respected in society and had a wonderful family. Some people wanted to find out why two brothers from the same parents, brought up in the same environment, could be so different.

The first one was asked, "How come you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates you?" He said, "My father." They asked, "What about your father?" The reply was, "My father was a drug addict, a drunk and he beat his family. What do you expect me to be? That is what I am."

They went to the brother who was doing everything right and asked him the same question. "How come you are doing everything right ? What is your source of motivation?" And guess what he said? "My father. When I was a little boy, I used to see my dad drunk and doing all the wrong things. I made up my mind, that is not what I wanted to be."

Both were deriving their strength and motivation from the same source, but one was using it negatively and the other positively....
 

How to Differentiate between Urgent and Important

By Junaid Tahir
Do you really understand the difference between urgent and important? It really matters if you do.

In our day to day life we have so many tasks in our to-do list. Some are smaller, some are bigger, some are highly important and others are least important. We keep working on these throughout our lives. Sometimes we prioritize and sometimes we don't. However I would emphasize that if we prioritize the tasks, our day to day lives can improve dramatically.

As lot of people confuse between urgent and important so here is the basic elaboration of Urgent and Important: 
"Important" is something which cannot and should not be ignored at any cost. "Urgent" means that a quick action is required to be done as soon as possible. Sometimes Urgent things are not very Important. For example, turning a running tap off to avoid wastage of water (and save the bills). However there are times when Urgent things are most Important as well, for example, a crying baby in the kitchen due to fire stove. Another example of Urgent is 'executing a task directly coming from the Department director' . This article is written by Junaid (mjunaidtahir at gmail dot com). Feel free to give feedback.

Talking about official scenarios, I have observed professionals not prioritizing things properly, consequently, putting their time and energies in less important and less urgent things. As I always like analytical approach in nearly all fields of life so I would like to emphasize again in this article to analyze the situation and rank the things based on urgency or importance. Once importance and urgencies of tasks are defined it is very easy to scrutinize and make action strategies. A piece of advice while analyzing any given jobs would be to consider the impact on stake holders (managers/departments/customers/field staff/family members etc) if any task is delayed. 

Finally I would recommend not to make this practice too complicated. Just think quickly, consult a couple of colleagues/family members if required and plan things swiftly. At the end of the day, we want ease in your lives and not extra stress. Once you have developed good analytical skills, your life will be much more easy; trust me J



Junaid Tahir, a telecom engineer and a blogger, writes articles on wisdom, happiness and stress management at his personal blog. His personal Google Group can be joined here. He is reachable at mjunaidtahir@gmail.com for any kind of suggestions and comments.

Stress in children - what we can do about it


Stress has become  part & parcel of our life, a normal feeling that everybody feels from time to time. A certain amount of stress can be helpful as it motivates us .Stress becomes bad when it interferes with daily activities, relationships, physical and mental health. Contrary to belief even very young children can experience stress. So how is a parent to know that their child is stressed out

 
Why do children feel stress ?
  
Many children may have to cope with divorce of the parents, constant changes in schools, conflict within the family, peer pressure and sometimes even violence in their homes or communities.
 
The impact of a stressful event depends on the child's maturity, nature, personality and style of coping. They may have difficulty expressing their feelings. Instead of saying I feel overwhelmed they might say my stomach hurts or my head hurts. Some children may cry, become aggressive, irritable, and talk back, show anger problems, decreased appetite, nightmares, clinginess or whining.

What can parents do?
Parents play a valuable role in trying to keep the harmful effects of stress ta a minimum
Make sure the child gets enough rest
Parents should monitor their own stress levels. They need to be particularly aware when their own stress levels contribute to marital conflict.
Frequent fighting between parents is unsettling for children
Ensure good communication .Kids feel better about themselves when the relationship with their parents is loving and open
Parents should encourage friendships
Children of all ages need time to relax and play
Anticipate potentially stressful situations and prepare your child for them
Let the child know that some level of stress is normal and that it is Ok to feel angry, scared or lonely sometimes