Blog Archive

Effective Communication - A Vital Skill To Develop


You might have experienced misunderstanding in family or official life on several occasions. The reason is obvious that either of the person didn't state his/her stance in clear fashion or perceive it clearly. So where does the fault lie and how can we improve? Let us study the below recommendations which need to be considered by Communicator or Listener in order to have solid common understanding and avoid communication gaps.

 

1.     Improve vocabulary: Every word has its own deep meanings. For example there is a difference between 'Hate' and 'Dislike'. Likewise, there is a difference between 'Should' and 'Must'. To enhance vocabulary you should learn new words and understand the meanings of synonyms and antonyms as well. You can use online dictionaries or built-in features of MS Word (right click on a word to know synonyms/antonyms. article written by Junaid.Tahir

2.    Listen carefully and listen more. If you listen more you are absorbing more and improving your level of comprehension. If you speak more you are on the verge of confusing others. So listen more and speak less. And when you speak, speak slowly and softly. Ask if you have communicated clearly or more elaboration is required.
3.    If you don't understand something, ask for elaboration. It is said that "If you doubt at first, doubt again and clear it"

4.    Put yourself in others' shoes to understand their perspective. Think win-win. Analyze the situation from everyone's perspective. Consider all the stake holders and consider their emotions. Develop Emotional Intelligence skill. Google it today. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

5.    If you are writing Emails/Letters/Fax then re-read after you are done with typing. Considering point-4 while you review your article. You can ask someone to comment on what you have written.

6.    Avoid hard words to avoid bad taste: For example instead of saying 'Rejected' use the word 'Not Approved'. When you say No, you should sound as if you wanted to say Yes but due to specific issue you can't say yes. So if that issue is addressed, you will be saying Yes and Saying Approved. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

7.    Avoid too many arguments. Convince or get convinced. If things gets complicated, take a break… engage some well-wishers to assist resolve the matter.

 

Further, I would recommend understanding Berlos Model of Communication. As per him, there are 4 factors which can ensure strong communication if considered properly. These are Source, Message, Channel & Receiver. By source he means that the speaker needs to have good communication skills, positive attitude, has understanding of cultural aspects and proper knowledge on the subject. By Message he means that the speaker has to use mature and to-the-point wordings. By Channel means that correct medium at correct time (phone call, physical appearance, email, fax) to be used. By Receiver he means that Receiver needs to understand the message clearly. The Receiver's level of understanding, attitude and Listening skills matter a lot.

Conclusion: Effective Communication is an indication of your wisdom and maturity level and is critically important to enhance your personal and professional relationship. Developing this habit will improve your bonds with your friends, colleagues and family members so start working on this starting today…

 

What are your thoughts on how to improve communication skills in day to day life?

 


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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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Using Proactive Approach in day to day life


In simple words, Proactive Approach is to plan and align things in advance by foreseeing future risks, problems or challenges.

Having said that, there are three kind of people on earth. Category-1 is those who strategize things as they have the visualization to portray the future. So they organize things in advance in order to avoid any possible set back. I call these people as 'Organizers'. Category-2 is those people who have the reactive methodology to handle things. That means whenever a situation arises they react accordingly. I call these people as 'Reactors'. Although there can be good Reactors but the majority of them are bad Reactors since most of the situations do not give them the luxury of taking a U-Turn for going back to neutral to start again. Category-3 is Commoners. These people do not have control on their lives. They are the product of their circumstances. They automatically flow with the wind; no matter where the wind takes them to. Of course, the first category is the best one as they have a proactive approach to life. So coming back to the track to understand the concept of pro-activeness in more details. Here are some points:

1.     Proactiveness is the vision and ability to align the tasks well in advance to avoid mishaps.
2.    Proactiveness is to foresee the possible problems and work on the contingencies in parallel with the master plan. It is strongly recommended to execute your contingencies before they execute themselves at the required time, because you never know whether your contingency plan is going to be successful or not. Hence be sure about it by testing the contingency in advance specially when the risk factor is high.
3.    Proactive people have the analytical skills to understand any situation in detail so that they can see low level risks and plan accordingly. (You may want to review my article on analytical skills here.

Considering a Tree analogy, I would refer 'The Organizers' as 'The Roots', 'The Reactors' as 'The Branches' and 'The Commoners' as 'The leaves'. Always remember the fact that when the wind blows, its leaves which are impacted at first place. So its Leaf's responsibility to stick to the Tree if they need to live. For Tree, it does not matter if any of the leaf is broken due to strong wind (circumstances).  Which category you belong to? Please share your thoughts.

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M Junaid Tahir

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Taking Better Care of Our Souls

 If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it's because they take better care of it. ~Cecil Selig

Do you ever wonder why it seems that some peoplehave better attitudes, healthierbodies, and more successfulrelationships thanothers have? It is easy to just look at them and assume that they are just lucky or have it easy as opposed to the rest of us. But more often than not, it is because they work on these areas in their lives.

Positive attitudes are the result of repeatedly making it a habit to be thankful, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, looking at the good rather than the bad in ourselves and others, and focusing on possibilities and solutionsrather than the problems.Healthy bodies do not just happen either. Our eating habits,exercise, and stress all play a part in our physical well-being. It takes discipline and commitment to resist and limit our intake of unhealthy foods, eat right,exercise at least 3 times a week, relax our bodies and minds,and improve our coping with stress. And finally, successful relationships don't just happen, but require our time and attention. Our relationships are precious and of great value.There is so much we can do toinvest in them and make thembetter.

If we take better care of our mental and physical health, as well as our relationships, it WILL pay off. It may require some extra effort, work and investment, but we will find that it is well worth it!!

M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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The Ripple Effect - A very nice concept


When you throw a stone into a pond, you'll see a splash and hear a specific sound generated by the touch of stone with the water. You will notice circles rippling out from the point where stone hit the water. The stone touched the water only once however the number of waves was more than that. Did you also noticed that you did one simple act of throwing a stone but it resulted in several waves generation in all directions travelling to a large distance? This is what we call Ripple Effect.

If you closely observe your day to day life, you will notice that most of your acts are generating ripples in the society since a lot of people are getting affected either positively or negatively. If you are doing a positive act, the ripple effect is going to be positive. For example, if you help your friend or colleague, there is a most likely chance that he will help you and others when he finds you or others in any crisis. Hence I believe that positive acts result in positive ripples and negative effects generate negative ripples. Since this article is going to be read by all kind of intellectuals so I will summarize some basic example of positive and negative ripples. Article written by Junaid Tahir (mjunaidtahir at gmail dotcom)

1-    When you share some inspiring article/video/story with your friends through email, Facebook, Google Plus, blog, website or any other online media, it will have a positive impact on hundreds of lives; Just to elaborate, if you have sent this article by email to 100 friends and only 20 of those share the same information with their colleagues/friends then this article will reach and inspire another 20*100 = 2000 people. This won't stop here since these 2000 people are going to share that with another thousands of people so the article consequently touches millions!

2-   When you work on some humanity service project (for example, giving some money for charity on monthly basis, opening an orphan house, installing water tanks in areas where water is not available to drink, visiting hospitals to help poor people etc) you are generating an unstoppable ripple effect. Hundreds of people will get inspired by you and start doing the same (more or less) acts.

3-   When you want to show your driving 'skills' and 'thrills' by bad or speedy driving while your friends or family members are with you, you are encouraging them to do the same when they are given a chance. These friends will probably do the same and encourage more people for this bad act. Down the road in 6 month you might become the root cause of rash driving for 100+ people or more!

 

This paragraph is for Muslims only: If we closely think, the positive ripples can become a source of Sadqa Jaria which is extremely required after your death. If you have done something similar to Point-1 and Point-2, these deeds will keep sending you the Hasanat (currency of Aakhirah) in your after-death-bank-account. Always remember that dollars, pounds or euros wont help you on the day of Judgment, the thing which will help you is your acts of kindness and their usage by the society. If you inspire and convince more and more people for any good deed (by your words or by doing the task actually) you are basically ensuring your share in the Hasanat which they is going to do (while their share will not be impacted). Article written by Junaid Tahir. Feel free to give feedback at my blog. http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

Conclusion: Positive Acts of kindness can bring magical results on earth. Everyone need to understand the concept that all of his/her acts are generating ripples in the society which are either improving or polluting the society.

Do you audit yourself on how much pollution or prosperity you are contributing to the society?


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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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Story: The Elephant Mindset


One guy was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a rope tied to their legs. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well", trainer said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and at the age, its enough to hold them, as they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. they believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." He was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were. Their powerful and gigantic creature has limited its present abilities by the limitations of its past.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life holding onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? how many of us refuse to attempt something new and challenging because of our so called MINDSET?

your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt...

 

How to behave when in Negative People



Are you often around negative people? Here are some tips on

handling them or other conversations that sap your energy and don't

inspire success.s


1) Steer the conversation


If a friend starts being negative, try to steer the conversation in
a more positive way. For example, if a friend starts complaining
about the rain say, "Yes, but I love the way it makes all my
flowers grow."

For every negative thing you hear, retaliate with a positive take
on the situation. Perhaps the person doesn't realize just how
negative they really are.


2) Avoid gossip


Gossip is a form of negativity. Unfortunately, it's everywhere.

Gossip newspapers line the shelves at the supermarkets. A family
calls you with the latest family "news". A coworker wants to tell
you about another coworker.

Not only does gossiping waste precious time, it isn't healthy.

Politely tell people that you aren't interested in gossip and will
form your own opinions about people.

Also avoid celebrity gossip, as this can be just as damaging to
your life. Gossip often breeds envy when in reality, you can
accomplish things in your life as long as you tear yourself away
from the television or gossip magazines.


3) Just say no


If someone is persistently negative around you, don't be afraid to
tell them that you don't appreciate it. Of course, try to find a
diplomatic way to say so. Explain that you generally like to look
at life in a positive way and you feel that their comments are
damaging.


4) Try to understand


It may help if you try to understand why someone is being negative.

Maybe there is something you can do to try to help them? There are
many root causes to negativity. These include abusive
relationships, discontent, or clinical depression.

Perhaps if they realize that someone generally wants to see them
happy, they will change. Don't invest too much of your energy in
this, though.

Often, negative people don't really change because they don't want
to. Trying to help can be just as much of an energy drain as
actually listening to their comments.


5) Be positive


If you realize that you have a problem with negativity, don't try
to change all at once. This is a bad habit that can be broken, it
just takes time. Start out by promising yourself that you will say
one positive thing each day. If you catch yourself thinking
something negative about the weather, turn it into a positive, for
example. After you get comfortable, say two positive things.
Continue increasing until you are free of your habit.

Just be careful not to confuse negativity with honesty and
constructive criticism.

 

source: unknown


M Junaid Tahir

Read my blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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What is Real Wealth - How to Acheive

I have noticed people thinking/talking about money all the times. The people are so much concerned about money that they count every single penny they have spent or going to spend. When I ask about this, their answer usually is that saving money is associated with the economical richness which is linked with their future happiness. This is fine however there are several catches which should be considered in parallel; for example, if one is saving money by:

1-    compromising on health (eating less or eating bad quality food or not eating healthy diet to save money). Is this a good deal in the long run?

2-   Not spending on his family's needs so depriving them from their rights.  Is this a good idea?

3-   Not giving gifts to his family members, consequently straining the family relationships which results in tense environment at home. Is this a good deal?

4-   Not visiting friends and other family members so jeopardizing the social life. Is this a good way of living?

5-   Not paying taxes to government so committing crime which is punishable in this world and hereafter.

6-   Not paying Zakat/charity so depriving the less fortunate to enjoy the life and polluting the whole income and join the gang who are not in good books of Lord.

 

While analyzing the scenario of association of money with Happiness, I had these questions in my mind. What is the real definition of richness? Is this only money which one should be craving about? Or there are other things which need to ponder as well? Can wealth make me happy? What is real wealth? While thinking about the answers I concluded that there are four things which can make me happy. 1) Good Family Relations 2) Good Official Life 3) Good economical status 4) Good social Life. While thinking about Wealth, I ended up with having these types of wealth:

 

1-    Physical Wealth

This is a great blessing indeed. If my major body parts are functional, nothing like that. I already posses loads of wealth. Imagine a millionaire having a plastic leg or hand. What if Lord offers you to exchange a million dollars at the cost of your eye or Leg? Off course you would never go for that option. So you have to feel happy about being healthy as this is amazing blessing. I would highly recommend not saving money at the cost of my health. And If you do it today, you will do it reverse as well, that means, you will be spending the same money to recover your health  but off course with all the side effects of bad health. The article written by Junaid (mjunaidtahir at gmail dot com – feel free to comment)

 

2-   Family Wealth

Family wealth means having healthy family relationships may it be with mother or spouse or kids. This is something extremely important to which everyone should work considering the fact that a major percentage of our life is spent with the family members. Keeping your family happy does not involve a lot of money expense hence you can keep your family happy by small good deeds even. For example, eating ice cream at the end of the day with all family, taking family to a park on weekend, sharing jokes before going to bed and/or bringing small nice gifts can make big difference for making family bonds stronger and stronger whereby increasing Family Wealth.

 

3-   Inner Wealth

This is something which controls your emotions, your behavior, your character and definitely your destiny. Being optimistic, problem solver and positive thinker will make you a super hero in true colors. These qualities can bring about superb results and would control your peace of mind ultimately. Always remember: No one is in-charge of your happiness, except you. So control your thoughts and have a healthy "Inner Wealth" bank account. The article written by Junaid (mjunaidtahir at gmail dot com – feel free to comment)

 

4-   Career Wealth

A positive environment, a nice colleague at work, a genuine team leader and a mature department head are real blessings. But sometimes you won't get all these in one package as it is said that you can select your friend but cant select your Team Leader or Director. However you can learn to manage your office environment up to large extent, you can manage your time and work load. You can have a balanced work-home load. You can sharp your skills by reading/trainings etc. Career Wealth is something which cannot be ignored while striving for happiness. There is load of information on internet which you can read to improve your "Career Wealth". Google it.

 

5-   Economical Wealth

I believe I don't need to write any specific thing in this category as everyone already working on it day to day. I must say that economical savings should never be done at the cost of your Physical Wealth or Family Wealth. Further, we should always put aside a small percentage of money (say 5%) for social causes (hospital, helping needy families, spending on less fortunate people and other charity causes). From a Muslim's perspective, every single penny you spend in Allah's way is being saved in your Akhira Bank Account and you are going to get the benefit up to so many time based on your intensions and offcourse this results in Baraka in your family !!!

 

6-   Impact Wealth

This is something different from other categories. Do you have a wealthy mental approach so that you do something for society. Everyone lives for himself but do you live for others? Are you helping person? Are you taking part in any social causes? Helping others gives real peace of mind and happiness so in my opinion it is a type of wealth. So how much Impact Wealth do you own? The article written by Junaid (mjunaidtahir at gmail dot com – feel free to comment)

 

 

Conclusion: Life is all about love and peace. We have to have simple rules for living. Complications arise when we start taking life too seriously by thinking about our wants too much. We have to live more with our Needs than our Wants J



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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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Relationships Advice: Communicate & Conversate

When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.

How To Respond In Tragic Moments

Life is a superb gift of God which is a mixture of pleasing, colorful, cheerful, but sometimes sad and tragic moments. Several people complain that life is not a piece of cake but let me respond that it is our attitude which defines the degree of our happiness in our lives. This is not my personal feedback rather there is a known fact that 20% of life is what happens to us and 80% of life is how we react back. Did you get the idea? No? let us understand it more.

 

Assume, you woke up in the morning and found out that you forgot to purchase the tooth paste yesterday. What now? You have two options:

1-    Start blaming yourself, turning yourself into bad mood, quarreling with your wife or kids and later with colleagues, consequently ruining your whole day because of the tooth paste event OR
2-   Ignoring this issue and move on with your day as a normal one. (you can either chew a mint bubble or just rinsing with mouth wash or simply follow 'the wow approach' to freshen up) http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/2011/06/wow-approach.html


Off course, option-2 is more beneficial to you. And by the way, if you adopt option-1 and face all the bad things, you are not going to resolve this issue UNTIL you go to the market and purchase a new tooth paste. So would it be wise to consider option-1? Off course not!

Well, I have given a very basic example for elaboration but trust me you can set the same attitude to address even complex problems in your life by not letting any events or people steal your peace of mind. Remember, no one is in charge of your happiness EXCEPT you!

 

And to be honest with you, I had a tragic day today because I lost some thousand dollars and trust me I am pretty relaxed. I shall do what needs to be done to get the money back and even if I don't get it back, I am fine with that as well BUT I have made sure that my emotions remain under control so that my personal and family life is not impacted due to any possible reactive approach. J  

 


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M Junaid Tahir

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Hardwork will guarantee my professional growth?

To be honest and straight forward with you, only hard work will NOT promote you in your professional life. There are several other aspects of your overall personality which are accounted for your growth. When I say overall personality, I mean your outer and inner personality. And when I say Outer personality, I mean your verbal (when you speak) and non-verbal (when you are not speaking) features of your personality. Together I call it "Corporate Image". In this article I shall cover sure fire techniques to improve your Corporate Image. But please bear in mind that the hardware will always be the prime and foremost aspect of your growth.  article written by Junaid.Tahir

Well, let us understand first why you should give importance to your official image?

 

Why Personal branding is important?

In your routine official life, you are being observed by your team lead, managers and/or senior managers on how you work, behave, speak, act, react, meet, greet, resolve and so on. All these observations are contributing towards your overall image. This image analysis is being done by the management for everyone. So when it comes to new opportunity or project in the department, it will be awarded to the one having good professional or corporate image.

 

Here are the things which you need to work on to promote your corporate image:

 

1-THINK BIG:

It all starts from your brain. Good Mind Good Find. It is as simple as that. Focusing on your thoughts will give maturity to your speech and actions which consequently would result in great personality. If you think you should only work on the physical appearance factor of your personality by looking nice through branded coats, pants and other accessories; it is going to result in a disaster since it will be equivalent to a bitter toffee in a nice wrap. Once the wrap is removed, the toffee is going to give a bad taste.  You may want to read my article http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/2012/01/need-success-work-on-your-thoughts.html which addresses the issue in detail.

 

2-WORK BIG:

Try to get engaged in more and more projects. If you really want to do task you will find a way to do it, if you don't, you will find an excuse so grab more tasks; off course not at the cost of your family life. Try to meet expectation as much as possible. Done go to your boss with a problem without  solution. Develop skills such as problem solving, analytical Skills, creativity. Be efficient, confident, sharp, dynamic in your day to day life. article written by Junaid.Tahir

 

 

3-TALK BIG:

Be socially active, do not skip meetings. Try to give your positive and optimistic opinion as much as you can.  Say hello to everyone. Be enthusiastic, humorous and friendly. Do not miss any telephone calls.  Avoid reacting.  Treating everyone with equal respect, Avoid irritating & negative comments. Build a vocabulary of positive words. Use and practice these again and again.

 

 

4-LOOK BIG:

Physical appearance matters a lot. Whether you are sitting in a meeting or walking in office or just working from your chair, you need to look confident. Your posture should portray your confident personality. When you are meeting with someone, try to work on your First Impression. Ask yourself whether the person is going to call you a Decent chap? Rough? Polite? Nice or what?.  Your way of handshaking, standing/sitting, smiling, eye contact, shoes, dressing, voice, physical fitness, remembering names matter a lot. Do you have old suits in your wardrobe? Get rid of them. Do you have old hair style for some time? Change it. Do you use same colors of clothes? Buy new. Do you talk too quietly or too loudly? Change your tone. article written by Junaid.Tahir

 

 

5-BEHAVE BIG:

Live an ethical life . Your personality should reminder others as a confident, honest, friendly, organized, creative, trust worthy and decent but mature person. Help others whenever it is required. Seek first to understand then to be understood. Don't impose your decisions on someone. Listen emphatically. Listen more and speak less. article written by Junaid.Tahir

 

 

Conclusion:

Hard work is definitely the key to success however you need to work on several aspects of your personality to move on your professional ladder. Always remember that consistency in your actions is critically important. Your inconsistence behavior is an indication of your non-predictive personality due to which people won't trust you. If you would like to develop trust please read my article http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-to-build-trust-to-empower-relations.html

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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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