Blog Archive

Correct Calculation

We cannot simply accept that part of the scripture we like, and reject what we don't like, and still expect to get the result. If you miss one point, there is a mistake in your calculation. Regardless of what you add or subtract after that, the mistake is already in the calculation, and everything that follows will also be faulty. 

For example, a hen lays eggs with its back part and eats with its beak. A farmer may consider, "The front part of the hen is very expensive because I have to feed it. Better to cut it off." But if the head is missing there will be no eggs anymore, because the body is dead. Similarly, ifwe reject the difficult part of the scriptures and obey the part we like, such an interpretation will not help us. We have to accept all the injunctions of the scripture as they are given, not only those that suit us.
 

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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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Are you a lovable person? Quick test


1. Do you keep a record of wrong doings of your friend?
2. Are you jealous about your neighbors fortune?
3. Are you proud of your social status?
4. Do you rejoice at the misfortune of your enemy?
5. Are you getting irritated often?

If "YES" - your heart is dry. You are not lovable :)

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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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The Echoes of Happiness: Belly Laughs


Echoes of Happiness
Belly Laughs

It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives.


As children, we laugh hundreds of times each day, delighted by the newness of living. When we reach adulthood, however, we tend to not allow ourselves to let go in a good belly laugh. Inviting laughter back into our lives is simply a matter of making the conscious decision to laugh. Though most of us are incited to laugh only when exposed to humor or the unexpected, each of us is capable of laughing at will. A laugh that comes from the belly carries with it the same positive effects whether prompted by a funny joke or consciously willed into existence. When our laughter comes from the core of our being, it permeates every cell in our physical selves, beginning in the center and radiating outward, until we are not merely belly laughing but rather body laughing.

Laughter has been a part of the human mode of expression since before evolution granted us the art of speech. Through it, we connected with allies while demonstrating our connection with people we didn't know. In the present, laughter allows us to enjoy positive shared experiences with strangers and loved ones alike. Yet solitary laughter carries with it its own slew of benefits. An energetic and enthusiastic bout of whole-body laughter exercises the muscles, the lungs, and the mind in equal measure, leaving us feeling relaxed and content. When we laugh heartily at life's ridiculousness instead of responding irritably, our focus shifts. Anger, stress, guilt, and sadness no longer wield any influence over us, and we are empowered to make light of what we originally feared. Laughter also opens our hearts, letting love and light in, changing our perspective, and enabling us to fix our attention on what is positive in our lives.

It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives. Our laughter then resonates through our hearts, filling the empty spaces with pure, unadulterated joy. We regain our footing in the moment and remember that no sorrow is powerful enough to rob us of our inborn happiness. When we understand that uninhibited laughter is the food of the soul, nourishing us from within, we know instinctively that life is worthwhile.

M Junaid Tahir
Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
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Want to Be Happier? Try These 9 Small Changes - The Salary Reporter

Happiness is the only true measure of personal success. Making other people happy is the highest expression of success, but it's almost impossible to make others happy if you're not happy yourself.

With that in mind, here are nine small changes that you can make to your daily routine that, if you're like most people, will immediately increase the amount of happiness in your life:

1. Start each day with expectation.

If there's any big truth about life, it's that it usually lives up to (or down to) your expectations. Therefore, when you rise from bed, make your first thought: "something wonderful is going to happen today." Guess what? You're probably right.

2. Take time to plan and prioritize.

The most common source of stress is the perception that you've got too much work to do.  Rather than obsess about it, pick one thing that, if you get it done today, will move you closer to your highest goal and purpose in life. Then do that first.

3. Give a gift to everyone you meet.

I'm not talking about a formal, wrapped-up present. Your gift can be your smile, a word of thanks or encouragement, a gesture of politeness, even a friendly nod. And never pass beggars without leaving them something. Peace of mind is worth the spare change.

4. Deflect partisan conversations.

Arguments about politics and religion never have a "right" answer but they definitely get people all riled up over things they can't control. When such topics surface, bow out by saying something like: "Thinking about that stuff makes my head hurt."

5. Assume people have good intentions.

Since you can't read minds, you don't really know the "why" behind the "what" that people do. Imputing evil motives to other people's weird behaviors adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions leaves you open to reconciliation.

6. Eat high quality food slowly.

Sometimes we can't avoid scarfing something quick to keep us up and running. Even so, at least once a day try to eat something really delicious, like a small chunk of fine cheese or an imported chocolate. Focus on it; taste it; savor it.

7. Let go of your results.

The big enemy of happiness is worry, which comes from focusing on events that are outside your control. Once you've taken action, there's usually nothing more you can do. Focus on the job at hand rather than some weird fantasy of what might happen.

8. Turn off "background" TV.

Many households leave their TVs on as "background noise" while they're doing other things. The entire point of broadcast TV is to make you dissatisfied with your life so that you'll buy more stuff. Why subliminally program yourself to be a mindless consumer?

9. End each day with gratitude.

Just before you go to bed, write down at least one wonderful thing that happened. It might be something as small as a making a child laugh or something as huge as a million dollar deal. Whatever it is, be grateful for that day because it will never come again
 
Source: INC

7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships !!!

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners show respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms a rewarding and enduring bond of trust and support. Here are seven power skills by Steve  Brunkhorst that will help you form stronger alliances and bring more closeness, authenticity and trust to your relationships.
1. Relax Optimistically

If you are comfortable around others, they will feel comfortable around you. If you appear nervous, others will sense it and withdraw. If you are meeting someone for the first time, brighten up as if you've rediscovered a long-lost friend. A smile will always be the most powerful builder of rapport. Communicating with relaxed optimism, energy and enthusiasm will provide a strong foundation for lasting relationships.
2. Listen Deeply

Powerful listening goes beyond hearing words and messages; it connects us emotionally with our communication partner. Listen to what the person is not saying as well as to what he or she is saying. Focus intently and listen to the messages conveyed behind and between words.

Listen also with your eyes and heart. Notice facial expressions and body postures, but see beneath the surface of visible behaviors. Feel the range of emotions conveyed by tone of voice and rhythm of speech. Discern what the person wants you to hear and also what they want you to feel.

3. Feel Empathetically

Empathy is the foundation of good two-way communication. Being empathetic is seeing from another person's perspective regardless of your opinion or belief. Treat their mistakes as you would want them to treat your mistakes. Let the individual know that you are concerned with the mistake, and that you still respect them as a person. Share their excitement in times of victory, and offer encouragement in times of difficulty. Genuine feelings of empathy will strengthen the bond of trust.
4. Respond Carefully

Choose emotions and words wisely. Measure your emotions according to the person's moods and needs. Words can build or destroy trust. They differ in shades of meaning, intensity, and impact. What did you learn when listening deeply to the other individual? Reflect your interpretation of the person's message back to them. Validate your understanding of their message.

Compliment the person for the wisdom and insights they've shared with you. This shows appreciation and encourages further dialogs with the individual. A response can be encouraging or discouraging. If you consider in advance the impact of your emotions and words, you will create a positive impact on your relationships.
5. Synchronize Cooperatively

When people synchronize their watches, they insure that their individual actions will occur on time to produce an intended outcome. Relationships require ongoing cooperative action to survive and thrive.

As relationships mature, the needs and values of the individuals and relationship will change. Career relationships will require the flexibility to meet changing schedules and new project goals. Cooperative actions provide synchrony and build trusting alliances. They are part of the give and take that empowers strong, enduring relationships.
6. Act Authentically

Acting authentically means acting with integrity. It means living in harmony with your values. Be yourself when you are with someone else. Drop acts that create false appearances and false security.

When you act authentically, you are honest with yourself and others. You say what you will do, and do what you say. Ask for what you want in all areas of your relationships. Be clear about what you will tolerate. Find out what your relationship partners want also. Being authentic creates mutual trust and respect.
7. Acknowledge Generously

Look for and accentuate the positive qualities in others. Humbly acknowledge the difference that people make to your life. Validate them by expressing your appreciation for their life and their contributions. If you let someone know that they are valuable and special, they will not forget you. Showing gratitude and encouragement by words and actions will strengthen the bonds of any relationship.

Don't forget to acknowledge your most important relationship: the relationship with yourself. Acknowledge your own qualities, and put those qualities into action. You cannot form a stronger relationship with others than you have with yourself. You will attract the qualities in others that are already within you.

Ask yourself: What thoughts and behaviors will attract the kind of relationships I desire? What is one action I could take today that would empower my current relationships?

Write down all the qualities or behaviors that you desire for your relationships. Select the power skills that will attract those qualities. Keep a journal of the actions you take and the progress you make. By turning these skills into lifelong habits, you will build relationships that are healthy, strong and mutually rewarding.

source: unknown

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The Power Of Saying No

 

We've all had times when we say yes to someone but really want to say no.

 

It's often difficult to say no because of the desire to be loved:  

we want to be helpful,  we want to show we care, but we may have little to give, are tired, overworked, or need alone time.   

Do you feel that if you aren't there for someone, they may reject you? Or that you're somehow  obliged to help as it makes you a ˜good person, parent or friend? Do you ever feel validated by being needed ?   

It's easy to believe that any time you take to relax or meditate is time that could be used elsewhere. But taking time out doesn't mean it is selfish or even wasted time. Think about what happens when your day is spent constantly caring for others. Do you get resentful, irritated, or even angry? Do you find stress building up? Does the quality of care that you offer become affected by that inner tension? Or are you so used to being this way that it seems impossible to imagine being any other way? You may even think you're not the relaxing type, or that if you do relax you won't be able to cope with all the things you have to do.

 

 

However, by taking time for yourself, by lowering your blood pressure and releasing stress, you are immediately creating a more harmonious environment that can only benefit all those around you. When you take time out to be quiet it means you don't get so angry, resentful, or frustrated; instead, you connect with who you really are. Then what you share with others is coming from that peaceful space. When you are energized and feeling good you will be able to do far more than if you are dragging yourself through your day with little energy or in a bad mood.

 

 

 

So, rather than being selfish, such activity is actually the least selfish thing you could do! This is when saying no to others means you are affirming yourself. The power of saying no is that you are empowered!

 

 

Tips to Increase Your Leadership Skills


Being a leader is one of the most effective, and a responsible job that a highly skilled person can have. A leader is the one who is always on the top, representing a group of people or a person. He must have the vision to take their company or institution to a respectable position. A leader must develop the quality of solving any given crisis in an effective way.


Here are some guidelines to increase your leadership quality:

Develop the quality of suggesting and planning:

 

 

For a leader, it is very important to have the quality of suggesting and plan according to a strategy. And the leader has to make sure that he can suggest their employers a better way to complete their task more effectively.

 

Represent and control your team:

 

 

Representing the group is one of the most essential tasks a leader has to make. It is the duty of a leader to voice his and his team's ideas. If a leader can represent his team more effectively, definitely he can positively influence his teammates and motivate them to work even more dynamically. A leader must include the quality of controlling the group, by observing their teams performance, instructing them to go in a right way, so that their work can be successfully presented.

 

Be open minded:

 

 

A good leader should be open minded to his employees, and he must listen to what his co-workers say and must value their ideas, and try to modify their ideas in a better way at the initial stage without rejecting their ideas. It may be helpful for the leaders too, as they may get new ideas for solving any crisis.

 

Define your goals:

 

 

Being a leader you must always describe your goal or your aim to the employees. This is a must because, for an employee it is very necessary for them to know their company's goal and vision. When they know their goal they put more effort on their work and they take it as a challenge to reach that goal. It will help them to complete their work successfully and they can benefit their company with their performance.

 

Be fair with your employees:

 

 

It is the duty of the leaders to be fair with all the workers in a company. Respect the employees feeling without being impartial. Know the interests of your employees and treat every worker equally without being biased.


source: unknown
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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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Focus on a List of Projects, Not Just To-Dos


By Whitson Gordon, Apr 4, 2011 08:30 AM

Focus on a List of Projects, Not Just To-Dos, to Relieve Productivity StressWe often talk about "projects" as a categorizing system for your to-do lists, but with so much focus on the "to-do" items, many people neglect to see how many overarching projects they've actually committed to. Here's how to fix that.

Photo by Matt Grover.

Productivity guru David Allen says that if you never have a clear idea of what you have "to do," you'll always over-commit, and get run over by all of them. Most of this clarity is lost at the "projects" level. While it may be more conceptual and less actionable than your to-do list, it's just as important:

I have a radical definition of a project: anything you're committed to finish within a year that requires more than one action to complete it. Given that broad designation, most people have between 30 and 100. Where's your list? How complete and current is it?

People complain about "too much to do," and yet most couldn't give you, in the moment, a complete and accurately defined inventory of what they've committed "to do" if their life depended on it. Sure, they may have a strategic plan somewhere; they've got a calendar with appointments they need to keep; there may be a crude, incomplete, and still unclear to-do list. But additionally they have myriads of additional things they feel like they should handle, about which they know they need to think and decide and do something about.

If you've gotten so caught up in the day-to-day actions you need to act on, you've probably let your project list fall by the wayside—or, you might not even have one. Take some time to sit down and look at everything you need to do this year and make a project list. Once you've done that, you can integrate it with your to-dos in a way that doesn't crush your soul and overwhelm you. Hit the link to read more.


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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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How to Be Wrong

By: Margaret Meloni

I need to tell you something. I hope you don't mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, "You are not always right." This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong. 

It's OK. Believe it or not, we all are wrong about something. We are wrong regularly and repeatedly. It is the nature of who we are. I am not asking you to dwell on when you are wrong or what it is you are wrong about. I ask you to consider how are you wrong? Translation, when you are wrong about something, how do you behave and how does this impact your team? 

When you do not believe that you are wrong you might adopt one of these approaches:

 

  • You are convinced that as soon as you share the facts with others, they will see your point and come over to your side of the argument. This will lead you to work to teach others the 'real facts' so that they too can be right.
  • You see that others have the same facts as you and they simply do not get it, therefore they must be idiots. Unfortunately this might lead you to condescend to them and to disregard any contributions from them.
  • You see that they have the facts and they are not idiots, so they must be purposefully disregarding what is clearly right. In fact, you might think they are saboteurs and so you treat them like an enemy. You decide to hide information from them and exclude them so that they cannot cause trouble.


What if you do recognize that you are wrong? Do you hide it, admit it or look for someone else to blame?

 

  • When you try to cover up the fact that you are wrong about something you damage your integrity. Perhaps you do this because you come from a culture where admitting an error is a sign of weakness or you are afraid of losing face. When you are wrong and you hide it, you are teaching your team to engage in the same behavior. This makes it very difficult to proactively solve issues.
  • When you look for someone else to blame, you are hiding the fact that you are wrong PLUS telling a lie about someone else. This is even worse for your integrity and your credibility. Now you are teaching your team to use other team members as human shields. This makes it very difficult to build any kind of high performing team.
  • When you are wrong and you admit it, you model responsibility and integrity for your team. You can proactively address issues, you can demonstrate how to behave like an adult professional and you can all move forward.


Granted in different corporate cultures and political climates there are different rules about how to be wrong. Unfortunately some of these cultures do encourage insisting that you are right or shifting blame, but you always get to decide how you will behave and what rules you will use when you are wrong.

I need to tell you something. I hope you don't mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, "You are not always right." This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong. It's OK. Believe it or not, we all are wrong about something.

Want to use this article in your eZine or web site? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Margaret Meloni is dedicated to helping professionals become free from the work related conflict that prevents them from experiencing peace. Margaret Meloni publishes the 'Turning Point' eZine on a bi-weekly basis. Contact Margaret at info@MargaretMeloni.com. You can learn more about Margaret and her courses, programs, and products at: http://www.margaretmeloni.com

Article Source: http://www.positivearticles.com. PositiveArticles.Com does not vouch for or necessarily endorse the contents of this article.

 


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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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The Approach to Become A Unique and Successful Entrepreneur

When you are in the business of selling products and/or services you have two possible options to consider while approaching your customers.

1-     What à  How à Why  
2-    Why à Howà What

These two are completely different. How? Let me elaborate it by assuming that Apple® might have used this methodology to become the giant in computer business.


What à  How à Why  
You approach a customer and say, I have a Laptop for you, which is nicely designed and you will have good experience if you buy it. Would you like to buy it?
In this example "Laptop" is WHAT, "Nicely Deigned" is HOW and "Good experience in using if you buy" is WHY

Why à Howà What
You approach a customer and say, Since you are having a lot of quality and performance issues related to battery, keyboard and other hardware and stability problems with the existing laptops in the market, so in order to assure you an unstoppable performance for thousands of hours we have designed this laptop for you. Would you like to buy it?
In this example, "quality and performance issues" is WHY, "Assuring you the unstoppable performance we guarantee high Quality of products production" is How, and Laptop is WHAT, "

In second approach the approach is based on empathic skills, which means to understand the market demand from end customer's perspective instead of having the intention of making money. The intention here is to ease out the customer not to gain the profit. Profit should not be the intention, that's an end result. Focusing on customer's requirements and producing products is the right way of running business, no matter small or big.

Courtesy: Idea inspired by Simon Sinek TED

Some Recommended Articles:

About Author: Junaid Tahir, a telecom engineer and a blogger, writes articles on wisdom, happiness and stress management. His articles can be read Here


Time Does Not Stop And So Is The Life







During the office coffee break a couple of days back I was looking the highway from the 34th Floor of my office and noticed hundreds of cars passing at a high speed every minute. I pondered that each of these passengers is in different mood right now. Someone belonging to Country-A might be sad because of some tragic incident, someone from country-B is stressed due to his/her financial issues, someone might be happy because his/her mother/spouse is coming to him/her and so on. However, for most of these people the current state will not be the same by tomorrow. The person who is in crisis today may become happy by tomorrow. The one who is happy today might be more delightful and the one who is stuck in a situation today might get out of it by tomorrow. That means, overall, millions of stories are taking birth on earth each day and millions of stories are dying. Article written by Junaid.Tahir
From my 3-5 minutes thought process I learnt a very nice lesson that no matter how bad is the situation, the time will pass. So next time I am in stress, I would visualize the highway and think that I am not alone in this situation. I would think that if millions of people are passing through such stages and recovering why should I take stress on my heart. Just like all those drivers, I must keep driving in the right lane and I shall reach my destination. The definition of right lane might be different for different kind of scenarios but the basic concept is same that when you have issues, you must meet the issues with courage, greet them with wow approach, treat them with wisdom and defeat them with strategy. You may want to read my articles on how toface tragic moments by clicking here and here  Further studies on Effective Decision Making,  Depression management might help you recover from your stressful circumstances.

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M Junaid Tahir

Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

 

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