Blog Archive

How to Make an Awesome First Impression: 6 Powerful Tips



First impressions are important.
 
Everyone stereotypes everyone on first impression, even if we are reluctant to do it.
 
We all get a first impression of a new person that creates a mental image of his or her personality in our minds.
 
That image of you often lasts and can affect the relationship that follows.
 
Another thing is that we often play different roles in relationships. With our parents we play one role, with friends another, with someone we are interested in/in love with a third, when shopping for clothes in a store a fourth. And so on.
 
A good or great first impression can create a positive role in the minds of the new people we meet. When we meet them again, we are often drawn back into this role. Sometimes it happens almost unconsciously until you after a few minutes notice that you have fallen into your old role - like when you meet friends you haven't seen in years - in that dynamic once again. You may not always be drawn into that role. But if you do it sure is better to have a positive than a negative role saved for you.
 
Here are some of the things I've learned about improving first impressions. Of course, different environments like business meetings with suits and ties or parties with colourful drinks come with different goals and expectations. So figure out what's appropriate and useful in each meeting.
 
1. Don't think too much.
 
First, perhaps the most important tip: don't think too much. This will help you let the conversation flow easily and you won't become self conscious and nervous. Try, as much as possible, to stay focused on the people you are talking to rather than focusing on yourself.
 
2. Act as if you are meeting a good friend.
 
If you just imagine that the person you will met/have just met and are talking to is one of your best friends you'll probably adjust unconsciously and start to smile, open up your body language to a very friendly and warm position and reduce any nervousness or weirdness in your tone of voice and body language. This technique is also a great help to stop over-thinking and it puts you in the present moment again. Don't overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away.
 
The nice thing about this is that you may also start to feel positive feelings towards this new person, just as you do with your friend when you meet him/her. This is a pretty good starting point for getting them to reciprocate and for developing a good relationship.
 
3. Stand and sit up straight.
 
Keeping a good but relaxed posture certainly improves on the impression one makes. Don't slouch. Sit or stand up straight.
 
4. Be positive.
 
Sometimes you can go in all positive in a first meeting. Sometimes it may not be the best approach to go in too positive as it can be seen as bit abrasive or feel like a bit too much for the other person. A better way to convey a positive attitude in a first meeting can then be to read the mood of person(s) before you start talking - by just watching them - and then match it for a short while. Then - when you have an emotional connection - you can let your positivity arise a bit more.
 
Regardless if you start out positive from the get-go or a short while into the meeting, be sure to positive. If you, for instance, start a first meeting by complaining, there's a big chance the people you meet will mentally label you as a complainer or a negative person.
 
5. Mentally rehearse before you even enter the room.
 
Visualize how great the events will unfold - see and hear it - and also how great will you feel at this meeting.
 
See yourself smiling, being positive, open and having a great time. See the excellent outcome in your mind. Then release by visualizing that it has already happened, that the meeting is over with the desired result. This is surprisingly effective and will get you into a great and relaxed mood before even stepping into the first, second or twentieth meeting.
 
You may want to not think much at all (tip #1) or act as if you are meeting a good friend (tip #2) or use a positive mental rehearsal before a meeting. Try them all and see which one - or combination - that works best for you.
 
6. The words you use to start the conversation with aren't always that important.
 
As long as you use some of the tips above it will usually not really matter too much what word or phrase you use to start the conversation. The words are only 7 percent of your communication. 93 percent is in your tone of voice and your body language. Sure, those numbers - that comes from a study that psychologist Albert Mehrabian did - may not always be completely accurate in a conversation.
 

But the point is; don't over-think things. A simple "Hi!" backed up by a relaxed and confident smile may do just fine.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright 2006-2011 Henrik Edberg.

http://www.positivityblog.com
 
M Junaid Tahir
Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
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Brain Damaging Habits

 


1.No Breakfast.



2.Overeating.

It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.



3.Smoking



4.High Sugar consumption.

Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.



5.Air Pollution.

The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our 20 body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.



6.Sleep Deprivation.



7.Head covered while sleeping.

Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.



8.Working your brain during illness.

Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.



9.Lacking in stimulating thoughts.



10.Talking Rarely.

Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.


 
M Junaid Tahir
Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
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Story: How Bar Code System Evolved

                                                 

What do checking out groceries at the supermarket, getting medicine from the pharmacy and shipping a package have in common? Bar codes. The bar code and scanner are now standard technologies for capturing and registering pricing and other retail information.

Joe Woodland is the man who dreamt up the Barcode system. Woodland and Bernard Silver were students at Drexel University in Philadelphia, when Silver overheard a grocery-store executive asking an engineering school dean to channel students into research on how product information could be captured at checkout.

The two of them went to work on a solution, burning through several ideas. Continuing to think about the problem on a visit to his grandparents' home at Miami Beach, Woodland started drawing in the sand.

"I poked four fingers into the sand and for whatever reason — I don't know — I pulled my hand toward me and drew four lines," he told. "I said: 'Golly! Now I have four lines, and they could be wide lines and narrow lines.'" It was a moment of inspiration.

"I went to IBM to see if they would be interested in using the technology that I had come up with," he continued. They talked about bar code technology and within a few hours, Woodland was told to lead the team that IBM had assembled to help retailers adopt the bar code technology.

The team developed a bar-code-reading laser scanner system in response to grocers' need to automate and speed up checkout, while cutting handling and inventory management costs.

Today, about 5 billion products are scanned and tracked worldwide every day


A silent powerful message




 



Sitting On The Grass Mat, Living An isolated Life….  



All Day He Has To Pick Garbage For His Survival…..

Care For Child Safety During Play!!!



No Home To Protect Them From The Winter….

All That Belongs To Me is My Body.  
Can't Afford A Pair Of Shoes….  


Nido Milk is Good For Children's Health,
But….


Study, Play And work All in One…..


Time To Buy A New Bedroom Set ???

How Do The Orphans Sleep....


How Do You see His Future…..


Living On The Garbage Pile….
 
Do You See Hope in These Eyes!!!! 
 
Looking For Food

Not Happy With Your 2 Bedroom Apartment ???
This is My Home, My World, My Universe….  

 


 
Where is My Lunch ??
 
Don't Waste Water, Some People Desperately Need it

So What Do You Think About Yourself ???????
Did You Ever Thank God For The Blessings And Abundance He Has Showered Upon You ???????
So what do you think about the life you are living?
We could have been in one of these pictures isn't it.
It is only due to the mercy of GOD AND NOT OUR OWN ABILITY that we are in air conditioned offices, with houses that stand empty all day, cupboards filled with food, closets filled with clothes, reading this e-mail.
Why do we keep thinking of what we don't have or what we want to have?
Do we ever count and appreciate the things that we do have?
Do we have any idea of how much we actually have?
Keep thanking GOD for the blessings and abundance He has showered upon us?
Try to reach out to those who are in need today and everyday…


BE THANKFUL FOR ALL THAT YOU HAVE.

18 ways to improve your body language

by Henrik Edberg.  
Continuing from the previous post 6 reasons to improve your body language, here is just a few of many pointers on how to improve your body
language. Improving your body language can make a big difference in your people skills, attractiveness and general mood.
There is no specific advice on how to use your body language. What you do might be interpreted in several ways, depending on the setting and who you are talking to. You'll probably want to use your body language differently when talking to your boss compared to when you talk to a girl/guy you're interested in. These are some common interpretations of body language and often more effective ways to communicate with your body.
First, to change your body language you must be aware of your body language. Notice how you sit, how you stand, how you use you hands and legs, what you do while talking to someone.
You might want to practice in front of a mirror. Yeah, it might seem silly but no one is watching you. This will give you good feedback on how you look to other people and give you an opportunity to practise a bit before going out into the world.
Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident, open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. See yourself move like that version of yourself. Then try it out.
You might also want observe friends, role models, movie stars or other people you think has good body language. Observe what they do and you don't. Take bits and pieces you like from different people. Try using what you can learn from them.
Some of these tips might seem like you are faking something. But fake it til you make it is a useful way to learn something new. And remember, feelings work backwards too. If you smile a bit more you will feel happier. If you sit up straight you will feel more energetic and in control. If you slow down your movements you'll feel calmer. Your feelings will actually reinforce your new behaviours and feelings of weirdness will dissipate.
In the beginning easy it's to exaggerate your body language. You might sit with your legs almost ridiculously far apart or sit up straight in a tense pose all the time. That's ok. And people aren't looking as much as you think, they are worrying about their own problems. Just play around a bit, practice and monitor yourself to find a comfortable balance.
1. Don't cross your arms or legsYou have probably already heard you shouldn't cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
2. Have eye contact, but don't stare – If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you'll get used to it.
3. Don't be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
4. Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it's easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
5. Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don't overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
6. Don't slouch, sit up straight – but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
7. Lean, but not too muchIf you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you're confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don't lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.
8. Smile and laugh – lighten up, don't take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don't be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don't keep a smile plastered on your face, you'll seem insincere.
9. Don't touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.
10. Keep you head up – Don't keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
11. Slow down a bit – this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don't snap you're neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
12. Don't fidget – try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly. You'll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements.
13. Use your hands more confidently – instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don't use them to much or it might become distracting. And don't let your hands flail around, use them with some control.
14. Lower your drink – don't hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don't hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.
15. Realise where you spine ends – many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture.
16. Don't stand too close –one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don't invade it.
17. Mirror – Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously. That means that you mirror the other person's body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward. If he puts hands in pocket, you might do the same. But don't react instantly and don't mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue.
18. Keep a good attitude – last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference. For information on how make yourself feel better read 10 ways to change how you feel and for relaxation try A very simple way to feel relaxed for 24 hours.
You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet. And if you try and change to many things at once it might become confusing and feel overwhelming.
Take a couple of these body language bits to work on every day for three to four weeks. By then they should have developed into new habits and something you'll do without even thinking about it. If not, keep on until it sticks. Then take another couple of things you'd like to change and work on them.
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7 Ways to Stop Being Treated Like a Doormat


Being treated like a doormat sucks.
It can happen for no apparent rhyme or reason; people using you, treating you like a dogsbody, walking all over you or not thinking about what you want or what's best for you. The trouble is, the more it happens, the more you feel like you can't change it; the more it happens the smaller you get.
Here are some practical ways that you can stop being treated like a doormat, and start being treated with respect.
you deserve better

1. Start With You

If someone else is devaluing you there's a good chance that you're doing the same thing, so change has to start with you. Be radically honest with yourself—do you feel like you deserve to be treated with respect? Do you feel worthy of respect and do you feel good enough to fit in?
Change starts with you dialing up your self-worth; something that can be started in the following ways:
a. Really give yourself credit for your achievements—all those things you've done and gone through in your life.
b. Get to know your values—those things that are woven through you and are the cornerstones for who you are.
c. Prioritise the nourishment of your body, mind, and heart—nobody else can keep you nourished and caring for yourself.

2. Start Teaching Others

One of the best things I heard from TV's Dr Phil was "You teach people how to treat you".
That's bang-on.
Your response to someone's behaviour teaches them what is and isn't acceptable, so if you roll over and take whatever they give, the message is that it's okay for them to do that. And people will always do what works for them until they have evidence that it doesn't work, or that there's a better way. We're kinda dumb like that.
If someone is regularly treating you like a doormat, their behaviour is not okay. Your task, and I get how scary this might seem, is to change your response to start giving them that message. This doesn't have to be a big, dramatic showdown; it can be done gently and with the same respect that you want. You might be scared, but you know what you need to do.
As the famous line goes, help them help you.

3. Stop Being a Bottomless Pit

It's great to do things for other people, unless the act of doing things for other people is how you get validation, of course.
Being a people-pleaser might begin with the best intentions, but if you're not careul, you keep on doing so because you want to see how pleased they are with what you've done or even to hear those magic words: "Thank you". Being a people-pleaser can turn you into a bottomless pit—that not only sees others take advantage of you, but seriously damages your self-esteem.
People-pleasing is not a selfless act; it's a selfish one.
It's a flawed way to feel good about yourself, so stop it. How can you be more generous with yourself? And how would it be if you could be generous for others, not because of any validation but because there's value in the very act of giving?

4. Apply Confidence

If you're used to people walking all over you, it's likely that you're not used to asserting yourself. You might even feel like you're powerless, but I guarantee you that you have natural confidence that you can apply to start effecting change.
Think of something you do, where the question of whether you can do it or never arises. This might be doing something you do at home (like cooking a meal, laughing with your partner or decorating a room), it might be something at work (like taking part in a meeting, writing a report or seeing a way through a problem) or it might be something you do socially (like chatting with a friend, ordering food at a restaurant or meeting someone new).
Natural confidence is being able to trust your behaviour with implicit faith in your abilities, so when you're doing something, there's no doubt about your ability to do it—you have full confidence. Applying that same sense of confidence to a new situation is what allows you to operate right at the edge or just out of your comfort zone, and this will feel uncomfortable.
That feeling of discomfort isn't the enemy and it doesn't mean you don't have confidence, it just means you're someplace new. Trust yourself to do what's best.

5. You're Not Alone

If your ill-treatment has been happening for some time you might be feeling isolated in your experience, so it can be extraordinarily useful and important to talk about it, or even to ask for some support or help. Other people are going through what you're going through, and you don't have to do this alone.
Asking someone you trust to talk about what's happening is not only a great way to offload a little, it just might allow you to step back enough to see a fresh perspective or another way through. You don't need anyone to fix things for you, so don't let that be your motivation here—the point is to connect with another human being so that you're supported through this.
Think about this way: if a good friend of yours was going through the same thing, wouldn't you want to hear about it and support them in attaining something better?

6. Raise Your Expectations

An easy life is one thing, but sticking your head in the sand and hoping things will fix themselves is crazy—as is setting your expectations so low that you expect to be treated like a doormat. There's a massive cost to lowering your expectations to that kind of level, and the act of lowering your expectations and accepting bad treatment can be more damaging in the long run that the bad treatment itself.
Don't ever make assumptions about what you should put up with or what you should expect. If you're going to have any expectations about how things should go, base them on what you'd love to see happen, not what you wish wasn't happening.

7. If All Else Fails

If you've truly done all you can to change things and to stop being treated like a doormat and nothing seems to work, then get the hell out. Life is way too short to have your experience of it and your self-esteem damaged by someone else, and sometimes you need to make a brave choice.
If you need to, be willing to remove yourself from the situation or relationship and start building the kind of life you'd love to live.

You Deserve Better

You don't need to "keep on keeping on", and you don't need to put up with being treated like a doormat.
You deserve better, so make a start.
Source: Life Hacker


M Junaid Tahir
Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
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Don't be serious, just try to be sincere

 


 
Don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful lifeI use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die. .......

One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? .......

It's ok, missing few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, little fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices........."


"Don't be serious, just try to be sincere." 

--
 
M Junaid Tahir
Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/

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Story: The Ant & the Contact Lens


 Brenda was a young woman who was invited to go rock climbing. Although she was scared to death, she went with her group to a tremendous granite cliff. In spite of her fear, she put on the gear, took hold on the rope and started up the face of that rock. Well, she got to a ledge where she could take a breather. As she was hanging on there, the safety rope snapped against Brenda's eye and knocked out her contact lens.

Well, here she is on a rock ledge, with hundreds of feet Below her and hundreds of feet above her. Of course, she looked and looked and looked, hoping it had landed on the ledge, but it just wasn't there. Here she was, far from home, her sight now blurry. She was desperate and began to get upset, so she prayed to the Lord to help her to find it.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but there was no contact lens to be found. She sat down, despondent, with the rest of the party, waiting for the rest of them to make it up the face of the cliff.

She looked out across range after range of mountains, thinking of that Bible verse that says, "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth." She thought, "Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me."

Finally, they walked down the trail to the bottom. At the bottom there was a new party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, "Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?" Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across the face of the rock, carrying it.

Brenda told me that when she told her father the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he of an ant lugging that contact lens with the words, "Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me do, I'll carry it for You." I think it would probably do some of us good to occasionally say, "God, I don't know why you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy.
But, if you want Me to carry it, I will."


M Junaid Tahir
Read my Blog : http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/
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Seven Qualities of Highly Ethical People

By Junaid Tahir:
People are ethical because of social norms, religious beliefs and laws. Ethical foundations in an individual define the way he lives the life by differentiating between right and wrong and behave in a way which improves the situation directly or indirectly however doesn't harm it at any cost. Ethics have been defined by relevant governmental and religious authorities for several domains of life however below article occupies 'blanket' coverage for all norms of life.
Below are top seven qualities of highly ethical people.

1-     They are Empathic: Ethical people have high degree of emotional intelligence. They understand things from multiple perspectives covering all the direct and indirect stake holders.. They seek first to understand than to be understood. They have strong observatory, listening and analytical skills to understand things deeply. This quality makes them unique which enables them to win the trust of others; consequently, people share their problems with them with open heart and seek their support.

2-    They Forgive and Forget: It requires a brave heart to forgive and forget. Ethical people don't keep grudges for long duration. They have the tendency to establish peace all the times hence keeping the brawls open does not suit them. They stay away from such complications and move ahead with life by forgiving and forgetting the matters.
3-    They are Always willing to Help: Highly Ethical people always want to improve the situation regardless of their relationship with a person who is in trouble. They take either corrective, preventive or suggestive initiatives for resolving issues. Corrective approach ensures that the matter is fixed by doing some specific actions. Preventive approach guarantees that such particular matters do not appear again. They use preventive approach to reach the root cause of the issue so as to fix it permanently so as to avoid further frequency of such incidents. Suggestive methodology is used by them for guiding someone to do some specific act in order to overcome a tragic situation.      

4-    They are Implosive: Ethical people are not hyper sensitive or explosive personalities. They possess a cool mind and a soft heart. They avoid frequent mood swings in order to develop a consistent and stable personality. They handle indecencies with decency. They know how to ignore hard and harsh comments and still converse softly. They know how to handle idiotic situations. They have high degree of anger management skills which further empowers their implosive personality trait.  
5-    They Mind Their Own Business: A lot of people have the habit of having serious curiosity about every other person's life. This habit causes them talk about people too much, spreading rumors and scattering false news in the society without any verification. Unlike those, ethical People do not interfere in others' lives unnecessarily; they mind their own business. Ethical people understand the fact the character assassination is equally a great sin so they don't give attention to rumors and focus on crystal clear matters; and avoid peeping into others' personal matters.

6-    They are Flexible & adaptable: The wise says, it is better to bend than to break. Ethical people possess a great deal of elasticity. They adapt themselves according to the situation. They don't stick to one mind set. Their continuous thought process enables them to change their minds easily in order to improve a situation without making it a matter of ego. They are not stubborn at all instead portray a flexible behavior in all kind of tough situations.
7-    They Do not criticize: Too much criticism is the root of several social and professional problems. Ethical people do not criticize at first place. In case they need to condemn or criticize something they follow a positive methodology to approach the relevant person and advice in a way which doesn't hurt anyone and convey the message in an effective way.

What are the other traits of highly effective people?


Some recommended articles:



Junaid Tahir, Project Manager and a blogger, writes articles on wisdom, happiness and stress management at his personal blog. He is reachable at mjunaidtahir @ -gmail -. com for suggestions and comments.