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Seven Qualities of Highly Ethical People


People are ethical because of social norms, religious beliefs and laws. Ethical foundations in an individual define the way he lives the life by differentiating between right and wrong and behave in a way which improves the situation directly or indirectly however doesn't harm it at any cost. Ethics have been defined by relevant governmental and religious authorities for several domains of life however below article occupies 'blanket' coverage for all norms of life.

 


Below are top seven qualities of highly ethical people.

1-     They are Empathic: Ethical people have high degree of emotional intelligence. They understand things from multiple perspectives covering all the direct and indirect stake holders.. They seek first to understand than to be understood. They have strong observatory, listening and analytical skills to understand things deeply. This quality makes them unique which enables them to win the trust of others; consequently, people share their problems with them with open heart and seek their support. 

2-    They Forgive and Forget: It requires a brave heart to forgive and forget. Ethical people don't keep grudges for long duration. They have the tendency to establish peace all the times hence keeping the brawls open does not suit them. They stay away from such complications and move ahead with life by forgiving and forgetting the matters.
3-    They are Always willing to Help: Highly Ethical people always want to improve the situation regardless of their relationship with a person who is in trouble. They take either corrective, preventive or suggestive initiatives for resolving issues. Corrective approach ensures that the matter is fixed by doing some specific actions. Preventive approach guarantees that such particular matters do not appear again. They use preventive approach to reach the root cause of the issue so as to fix it permanently so as to avoid further frequency of such incidents. Suggestive methodology is used by them for guiding someone to do some specific act in order to overcome a tragic situation.      

4-    They are Implosive: Ethical people are not hyper sensitive or explosive personalities. They possess a cool mind and a soft heart. They avoid frequent mood swings in order to develop a consistent and stable personality. They handle indecencies with decency. They know how to ignore hard and harsh comments and still converse softly. They know how to handle idiotic situations. They have high degree of anger management skills which further empowers their implosive personality trait.  
5-    They Mind Their Own Business: A lot of people have the habit of having serious curiosity about every other person's life. This habit causes them talk about people too much, spreading rumors andscattering false news in the society without any verification. Unlike those, ethical People do not interfere in others' lives unnecessarily; they mind their own business. Ethical people understand the fact the character assassination is equally a great sin so they don't give attention to rumors and focus on crystal clear matters; and avoid peeping into others' personal matters. 

6-    They are Flexible & adaptable: The wise says, it is better to bend than to break. Ethical people possess a great deal of elasticity. They adapt themselves according to the situation. They don't stick to one mind set. Their continuous thought process enables them to change their minds easily in order to improve a situation without making it a matter of ego. They are not stubborn at all instead portray a flexible behavior in all kind of tough situations.
7-    They Do not criticize: Too much criticism is the root of several social and professional problems. Ethical people do not criticize at first place. In case they need to condemn or criticize something they follow a positive methodology to approach the relevant person and advice in a way which doesn't hurt anyone and convey the message in an effective way.

What are the other traits of highly effective people?


Some recommended articles:

Junaid Tahir 
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Don't Compare Yourslef to Others


(Your competition is with yourself)
Comparing ourselves with others creates a fake sense of being, and curbs our uniqueness and individuality. There are numerous other reasons why a constant comparison with others is a bad idea.

"Comparison is the thief of joy" Theodore Roosevelt

Comparing ourselves with others comes naturally to a lot of us. It is a trait that we develop early on in our lives. Remember how our teachers used to portray the head boy/girl as the role model for all of us. We were expected to be like them. Even at home, comparisons with siblings were inevitable. The burden of expectations always bordered upon how you fared with the best performer of the team. And in case, you were the best performer, the comparison with others only created an impression of strength and superiority.

The fact that many of us indulge in comparing our life, social status, appearance, wealth, etc., with others, is symptomatic of a deep-rooted desire to be accepted by others. When we put ourselves against others, we measure our strengths and weaknesses with them. The reason comparisons don't work out is because no two people are similar. While one might be good at making money, another might be good at making friends. The point we are trying to drive home here, is that comparison between two individuals, who may appear to be equal due to the roles they play in their family or society, only creates the feeling of frustration, self-pity, low self-worth, and envy. There are other reasons why comparison with others should be avoided at all costs.

Why Comparing Ourselves with Others is Futile

Comparison creates dependency on others.
 
When we indulge in comparison, the way we think about ourselves becomes dependent upon how we perceive others around us. If we are doing better than A, we get an emotional boost, but as soon as we know about B's affluence, we pity ourselves for not being able to achieve much in life. Comparisons with others only create a fake sense of being, and we find ourselves trying to keep up with others at all costs.

Comparison pushes us to be 'at par' with others.
 
Comparing ourselves with others takes away our individuality. It forces us to do things that we ideally don't want to do.
When we engage in the game of comparison, it becomes difficult for us to think pragmatically. We are blinded by the expectations of being 'at par' with our competitors. The urge of having the same set of luxuries that others can afford, engulfs us, curbing our real qualities. We endlessly compare ourselves to our neighbors and relatives, and base our decisions on gaining a positive perception from them.

Comparison causes envy and jealousy.
 
Comparison is one of the major reasons for creating envy and jealousy among people. For example, it often happens that the moment we come to know that a peer or a relative has bought a new car, a feeling of envy masked by condescension overpowers us. Instead of being happy for them, we criticize their decision, and make up our mind that they have given in to imprudence, and are doomed to fail. We start making assumptions about how could they possibly afford it, convincing ourselves at the same time that they will soon be under debts. In reality, the perception that the friend will now get more respect and approval from others, pesters us from inside and creates a sense of being less-worthy from him. We constantly battle against ourselves, and look for ways to beat him in this perceived competition.

Comparison limits our potential.
When we compare ourselves with others, we subconsciously place limits on what we can possibly achieve. It results in the creation of a mental block, which prevents us from giving our 100%. For example, if X holds the university record of running a mile in 4 minutes, Y's entire focus will be on doing it under 4 minutes. By comparing himself with X, Y places a limitation on himself. If Y just competes against himself, and develops his skills over a period of time, he will be able to give his best shot, without constantly focusing on X's record. The important thing to remember is that we shouldn't base our targets on what others are able to achieve. We don't know their strengths and weaknesses thoroughly, but we do know ours, so it is prudent to make the best use of that.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Be yourself.
 
The first thing to do to stay away from the mire of comparisons is to love yourself for who you are. You may think that you are not perfect, but that is what makes us humans different from each other. As Oscar Wilde famously put it, "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." Accepting yourself with all your flaws is pertinent if you really want to experience inner peace and calmness. Being content with what you have doesn't mean that you stay in a cocoon, and shy away from taking any steps to improve your skills. What it means is that you set realistic targets for yourself, and work towards achieving them.

Realize that constant comparison is a bad habit.
 
The problem with constant comparison is that it is ingrained in us from a pretty young age, and therefore, we indulge in comparisons subconsciously. Ask a group of people whether they compare themselves to others, you will not get too many affirmations. When we do something far too often, without knowing its repercussions, we fail to see it as a vice. Therefore, to extricate ourselves from the web of unnecessary comparisons, we need to be aware of what we are doing. Any time you feel that you are trying to measure up to somebody, engage in self-talk, and convince yourself that this whole idea can be noxious for you. Constantly look out for such behavior, and dissociate your mind from such feelings. Over a period of time, you will see that the urge to always compare yourself with others has gone down.

Appreciate the efforts of your peers.
Try to appreciate the people you always compare yourself with. Criticizing them behind their backs may make you feel good for some time, but if you look at it pragmatically, you end up achieving nothing out of it. Instead, you can bring about a positive change in your attitude by commending the virtues of your friends, colleagues, and relatives.

Many of us view life as a competition, where you always have to fight to survive, but we should keep in mind that life is also a journey of finding our inner-self, and discovering the true potential that is inherently present in all of us. Once we focus on our individual journey, all comparisons with others cease to exist.
source: unknown


Dealing with Emotionally Hyper Minds



By Junaid Tahir 


Usama Rauf is a nice friend of mine. He is known as Foodopedia (Food Wikipedia) amongst us as he is the most authentic source for Dubai restaurants reviews J.  Recently we went for lunch at Gazebo restaurant upon Usama's recommendation. This was overall a very nice experience because of the great food quality, lavish taste and restaurant environment. The table mat was a noticeable thing on which several quotations and one-liner-jokes were printed for the amusements of restaurant customers. One quote was "Never argue with an idiot as he would bring you down to his level and beat you with his experience J". Later in the evening, I thought that if at any time I am stuck in a situation where I have to deal with an idiot then how would I handle him. Before I share my thoughts on this, here is the Wikipedia definition of an idiot "An idiot, dolt, or dullard is a mentally deficient person, or someone who acts in a self-defeating or significantly counterproductive way".

 

Well, when you are stuck in a situation when you don't like the person you are talking to, please carefully analyze the person whether he is really a mentally/emotionally hyper person? May be your judgment about the person is not correct and he is Mr. Nice in someone else's opinion. Read my article on "How to judge others". If your judgment is correct, here are some suggestions you can consider:


1-      Try to avoid sensitive subjects such as politics, casts, religion etc. 
2-      If you don't like any comment from such person, no need to be explosive. An explosive person is the one who immediately reacts at any situation or violation he/she observes whereas an Implosive person is the one who is patient and strives for peace. Read my detailed article on the concept of "Explosive and Implosive Personalities"
3-      Avoid any kind of criticism on anything as this will add fuel to fire. 
4-      If the debate gets heated and the person starts shouting, don't react to that. Remember if you throw a stone in mud, your clothes will be dirty as well. Be calm. Walk away silently and don't take it personally. Consider the concept of Law of Garbage Truck. When you stop taking things personally you gain a great amount of freedom because you become immune to these peace stealers. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

Develop the skill of effective communication as this is the de-facto key to success. Your real communication skills come in to play more when you deal with emotionally/mentally hyper people. Your ethics are your real wealth, don't lose your wealth at any cost.

By the way, if you happen to visit Dubai, please do try "The Legendary Dum Biryani" and "Raan-e-Sikandari" at Gazebo restaurant :)

Junaid Tahir 
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

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My Wife Doesn't Work

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):

P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy ?
H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.

P : Your Wife ?
H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.

P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?
H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.

P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?
H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.

P : How do your kids go to school?
H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.

P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do ?
H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work.

P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do ?
H : Take rest, because i'm tired due to all day works.

P : What does your wife do then ?
H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.

Whom do you think works more, from the story above ???

The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK' ??!!

Yes, Being Homemakers do not need Certificate of Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is very important!

Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are uncountable. This should be a reminder and reflection for all of us to understand and appreciate each others roles.


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Customer Care: How to Handle an Abusive Client


Some clients are demanding; others are downright rude. If you're not in a position to stop working with a difficult person, prepare yourself instead. Expect your greedy, selfish, or angry client to act poorly so you won't be caught off guard. When you sense that he is about to say something hurtful, say to yourself: "Here it comes." After he delivers the blow, take a deep breath and pause until he realizes he hasn't provoked you into losing your cool. Then say something like, "Say that again?" or "Do you really mean what you just said?" This is often enough to cause him to reflect on his behavior and change his approach. If not, at least you didn't get flustered. The conversation may still be stressful, but preparing keeps you from being blindsided. 

Adapted from "How to Deal with a Toxic Client" by Mark Goulston.


 

Junaid Tahir 
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

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Everyone is unique - The Real Life Analogy



Once a teacher took his class to a park and asked them to observe the park for a short span of time but all of them should not move from their location. After 5 minutes teacher asked each student to share what he/she has noticed. One student mentioned that he felt cool breeze which made him fresh and energetic. All students were cheered up by listening to this comment as they also started feeling the same. Another student said that green leaves and colorful flowers are an indication of life, hope and prosperity. All students felt optimist about this comment. Another student said that the silence in the surroundings and the yellow color of some of the leaves made him sad, lonely and pessimist about life. To this comment, all other students started yelling at him about being negative. The teacher asked the student stop criticizing their fellow being and stay silent. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

The teacher then said to his students that each one of them was given the same kind of situation/circumstances however each student had different observation and feelings like being happy, sad, fresh, cheerful, pessimist, optimist etc however by logic no one was completely wrong.  The Teacher further elaborated that each one of us is a unique personality. The observations and feelings of each individual can be unique however we must not disgrace anyone about what he has observed or felt. Our fellow beings can be slightly wrong, fully wrong or cent percent right at different moments in life. The uniqueness of each individual is as a result of his/her thought process, comprehension levels, mood swings, brought up, judgment style, vision & knowledge of the world,analytical skills and so on. However, the wisdom is to respect the feeling and actions of each individual as much as possible. And in case we want to correct someone, we must adapt a polite and decent approach and advice to the person should not be given in public rather in private. This is to ensure that respect and dignity of the person is not compromised. 


Junaid Tahir 
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