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Developing The Power Of Not Looking Back



By Junaid Tahir
If you carefully observe the people who are in stress, you will notice that they keep thinking about a specific event, conversation, failure, brawl or hard luck again and again which has happened to them in past. Such people do not have control on their thinking process hence they allow their brain to keep wandering in the past. While It's a known fact that bad luck happens to everyone, it's people's attitude and the quantum of reaction which defines the degree of stress. Since stress and happiness are vice versa so more stress results in less happiness or in some cases loss of happiness. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

Always remember that everyone passes through tragic moments in life however 
you will agree that the more you think about bad things happened in the past, the more magnitude of stress you give birth to.    Hence the chains of negativity and stress around your neck need to be broken and thrown away so as to move on with your life. 

The fact remains the same that you cannot change the past, neither you can boil the ocean so a wise person would not keep thinking about something which has already happened instead he would learn the lesson from the past and take measures which need to be done in order to prevent such happening in future. A wise man will always focus on the solutions instead of thinking about the problems.  Article written by Junaid.Tahir

So here is what I recommend: 
Take a pen and list down all the issues bothering you right now. You will, eventually, end up with a very limited number of issues causing depression back and forth. Now the next step is to split these issues into two groups. One group for which you do have some solution and the other group should contain the issues which are out of control. The worries and sorrows from the second group should be shun away. You need to train your brain not to think of something which is beyond control. Divert your focus on the issues for which you can do something. Do it now because this time will also become past and you would be cursing these moments for taking action at right time.

9 Tips To Make Effective Decisions




By Junaid Tahir
Its true that you are the product of your own thoughts and decisions. Whatever you decide on daily basis, whatever you do in your routine life is directly or indirectly linked to your future. That means you are making the foundation of your destiny with your decision and actions in your routine life. So by looking at the bigger picture, it is right to conclude that decision making is critically important for your success and achievements of lifetime goals.  Given below is the list of insightful factors which you need to considere while making decisions.  Article written by Junaid.Tahir

1.     Consider the short term and long term consequences: Whether the decision is materialistic or a sensitive family matter.  You have to consider short terms and long terms benefits.
2.    Cost Vs quality if applicable. If you intend to purchase something, consider cost, quality, warranty perspectives. Usually cheep products have less life and bad quality but is not the case always. To cope up with this, define your budget and then carefully analyze all the options which are falling within your budget.
3.    Need Vs wants analysis: Are you purchasing for pleasure or it is your long term need. Remember this is a difference between pleasure and happiness. Sometimes pleasure dost not last long so you don't want to spend a lot for the sake of short time pleasure. If you are in Need of something then consider point-1 and point-2. Article written by Junaid.Tahir
4.    Consider emotions: This is quite sensitive aspect. You have to put yourself in everyone's shoes to understand his/her emotions. You don't want to hurt someone with your decision,  instead you want to keep your stake holders emotionally satisfied. Emotional Intelligence is an art; learn it by reading on internet. To understand people you have to have true sense of judging people
5.    Consider Win-Win:  A balanced approach in which everyone gains is always recommended.  
6.    Consider all options: Don't stop your brain on one idea or approach. Think about more options. Seek advice from others on different possible solutions of the given situation/problem. to the problems which need decisions.
7.    Ask for criticism: If possible ask for criticism before implementing the decision. Although it's never too late to ask for criticism even after your decision. Feedback always helps in your future.
8.    Learn to differentiate between Urgent and Important tasks. Read my article Urgent and Important.
9.    Closely observe others: Think about what your friend/colleague/acquaintance did under a specific condition. A wise man always learns from the mistakes of others. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

Good decisions require good analytical skills. Read some tips here to improve your analytical skills.


Junaid Tahir 
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

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Story: The Powerful Relationship



Man-at-airportReuters-6202891

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about — the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.
Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.
First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, "Me, too, Dad!"
Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son's face in his hands said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi, baby girl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. "I love you so much!" They stared at each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.
For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?
"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those." he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face. "Well then, how long have you been away?" I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. "Two whole days!"
Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he'd been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.
I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"
The man suddenly stopped smiling.
He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope, friend… decide!" Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!"

Story - Doctor Spencer's invention of Microwave Oven

Microwave ovens have become an essential part of our homes. Did you ever wonder how this easy and quick way of cooking started?
The microwave oven did not come about as a result of someone trying to find a better, faster way to cook. During World War II, Dr. Spencer noticed something very unusual. He was testing a new vacuum tube called a magnetron when he discovered that the candy bar in his pocket had melted.
This intrigued Dr. Spencer, so he tried another experiment. This time he placed some popcorn kernels near the tube and standing a little farther away, he watched the popcorn sputter, crack and pop all over his lab.

The next morning, Dr. Spencer decided to put the magnetron tube near an egg. He was joined by a curious colleague, and they both watched as the egg began to tremor and quake. The curious colleague moved in for a closer look just as the egg exploded and splattered hot yolk all over his amazed face.
The melted candy bar, the popcorn, and now the exploding egg....If an egg can be cooked that quickly, why not other foods? Experimentation began...

Initial reactions were unfavourable. Not surprisingly, many were highly reluctant about these first units, and so they found only limited acceptance.....but not for long. Further improvements and refinements produced a more reliable, lightweight and less expensive Microwave ovens. By 1975 sales of Microwave ovens exceeded that of Gas Ranges in US.


It is not necessary that someone always has to go the extra mile in search of new ideas. Ideas can "happen" as a by-product of something else. But what you choose to do with them may lead you to change many lives!!!



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The 3 Cs to be Avoided


Peace of mind is something that we all crave for. We cannot achieve this state without putting effort. After all, peace of mind is not something that can be procured by spending money or by force. The mind needs to be balanced and in equilibrium before it can reach that state. For the mind to be balanced, we have several 'dos' and 'don'ts' to follow. Given below are three 'don'ts' which go a long way to achieve that state. They are described as the three Cs.


Criticizing: The first C is criticizing. It is one of the most natural talents that we all have. J Our minds seem to be tuned to find fault and spot blemishes. Many a times, we see problems where none exist. It is as if our minds have the uncanny knack of identifying a problem. At the same time, our tongues are eager to let others know of our 'superiority' in being able to articulate those problems. When we criticize thus, unnecessarily, we are unknowingly building resistance as well as enemies. These lead to unwarranted arguments and attempts to prove a point. Moreover, our minds which get clouded in negativity refuse to let us reach the state of equilibrium.

 

Complaining: The other C is similar to the first C and yet more damaging.Complaining is taking criticism to a higher level and almost results in condemning others. As long as it is constructive in nature and comes with intent to resolve and rectify, it is still bearable. What takes the cake is complaining which sounds like whining. It is other extreme of appreciating. It creates a huge negative whirlpool from which we are unable to extricate ourselves. We also carry the feelings of hurt and annoyance in our minds which prevents us from experiencing bliss.

 

Comparing: Another C which we seem to be unable to avoid is the comparison bug. It is almost like a virus which is in the air. Many of us are comparing all the time - ourselves with those around us. It could be about anything - wealth, friends, physique, job, dogs, appliances etc. It gives us momentary pleasure when we see others in a worse situation than us and also give us sleepless nights when we see others enjoying more than us. Comparison is a never ending maze where people get lost and unable to recover their bearings. It is a method of inventing joy / sorrow out of nothing.

 

These three Cs are best avoided and conscious efforts taken to prevent ourselves from getting entrapped here. It would be a good idea to ask one of our close spiritual friends to help us in the process. If someone were to remind us each time we use these Cs, it will help us tremendously in making course corrections. Over time, we might become habituated to completely avoid them and progress towards the much coveted state of peace in our minds.


Good Reads - Part 8


Good Reads - Part 7


Good Reads - Part 6

Good Reads - Part 5