May 2014
Self Improvement, Wisdom, Professionalism, Inspirational Stories, Positivity, Leadership, Management, Stress, Optimism and Peace, Productivity.

No Tobacco day was observed all over the word today (31st May). The purpose of observing this day is to draw our attention towards health risks associated with smoking. Awareness programs in UAE electronic media were on-air discussing the life threatening risks of smoking. Further, the sale of tobacco was prohibited for the whole day in order to encourage the population, youth in particular, to get rid of this habit

 Talking about Pakistan it is sad to observe that least awareness campaigns were observed in electronic and print media. Not a single TV ad was noticed in television all day long. Further, it is observed that the price of 20 cigarettes packet is only 5 AED in Pakistan comparing to that of Australia 60 AED and UK 40 AED. 

It's a tragedy for a nation where joblessness density is increasing day by day; low cigarette price and its easy availability adds fuel the fire. The depressed youth have easy access to tobacco with the misconception that they will get quick relief from their stress without considering the long term cancers they are developing in their bodies.

On top of that the least effective attitude of ministries is very disheartening.  As per world health report in Pakistan 574 Cigarettes per adult per year are smoked. Comparing to India having 129, Nigeria 189, Afghanistan 98, Sudan 77 cigarettes per adult per year it is critically important for the health ministry to device concrete strategic moves in order to eradicate this disease from the nation. For example cigarette availability in the market should be limited, strictly prohibited for sale under 18 and the selling cost should be high so as to discourage people buying all kinds of tobacco products. Last but not least, a lot of awareness campaigns in print, electronic and social media are to run by relevant ministries and authorities.
Self Improvement, Wisdom, Professionalism, Inspirational Stories, Positivity, Leadership, Management, Stress, Optimism and Peace, Productivity.

At one of the big shopping centers of town this lady was speaking quite loudly, probably trying to impress others in surroundings, .
"Show me the latest shoes you have"
"Here are a couple of latest shoes ma'am" The sales person said while pointing his hand towards the shelf.
"No, i didnt ask for these shoes, I want some latest designs which are hot now a days"
"Maam, the one i showed you are the latest and most sold shoes in the market... Please look in this shelf, here are some other latest shoes"
"No, No i want the latest new designs which everyone is buying in UK"
"But maam, this is not UK and all big stores here follow local trends"
"ok leave it, show me some ladies bags"
"Here are some nice bags maam" the sales person showed a couple of bags"
"No, no, i didnt ask you to show me this kind of bags, I need some big bags"
"How about these bags maam" "No no, i didnt ask you to show me this much big bags, Ok leave it, show me some good shirts"

"What type of shirts ma'am"
" show me some latest shirts of UK Fashion..."

I was listening to this conversation while shopping for my kids yesterday. This is what i observed:
1- The Lady was not focused about her shopping plan because she changed her demands three times within 45 seconds of time. She was demonstrating unstable behavior and bothering the sales person and other people in surroundings.
2- She was not specific in her demands. She was expecting the salesman to show her products of UK market though she was in Pakistan which she could have asked at the start of conversation and left the market without wasting everyone's time . Later she didnt elaborate her demands clearly on how big bag she was looking for which again resulted in time wastage for both.
3- The lady was reactive in her nature as she was saying No, No in every second sentence she spoke which was an unethical way of conversation.

This is just one example from our routine life though we experience repeated cases of miscommunication which sometimes lead to brawl if both parties are not patient. The message here is that we must learn the art of effective communication if we want us to be heared and responded properly. The sales person in this example was on job so he was behaving nicely. Had this been the case of two colleagues or any other non-job conversation; the situation might have been tough.
Below is an extract from my article Effective Communication. Original Article can be read by clicking here

You might have experienced misunderstanding in family or official life on several occasions. The reason is obvious that either of the person didn't state his/her stance in clear fashion or perceive it clearly. So where does the fault lie and how can we improve? Let us study the below recommendations which need to be considered by Communicator or Listener in order to have solid common understanding and avoid communication gaps.

1.     Improve vocabulary: Every word has its own deep meanings. For example there is a difference between 'Hate' and 'Dislike'. Likewise, there is a difference between 'Should' and 'Must'. To enhance vocabulary you should learn new words and understand the meanings of synonyms and antonyms as well. You can use online dictionaries or built-in features of MS Word (right click on a word to know synonyms/antonyms.
2.    Listen carefully and listen more. If you listen more you are absorbing more and improving your level of comprehension. If you speak more you are on the verge of confusing others. So listen more and speak less. And when you speak, speak slowly and softly. Ask if you have communicated clearly or more elaboration is required.
3.    If you don't understand something, ask for elaboration. It is said that "If you doubt at first, doubt again and clear it"
4.    Put yourself in others' shoes to understand their perspective. Think win-win. Analyze the situation from everyone's perspective. Consider all the stake holders and consider their emotions. Develop Emotional Intelligence skill. Google it today.
5.    If you are writing Emails/Letters/Fax then re-read after you are done with typing. Considering point-4 while you review your article. You can ask someone to comment on what you have written.
6.    Avoid hard words to avoid bad taste: For example instead of saying 'Rejected' use the word 'Not Approved'. When you say No, you should sound as if you wanted to say Yes but due to specific issue you can't say yes. So if that issue is addressed, you will be saying Yes and Saying Approved.
7.    Avoid too many arguments. Convince or get convinced. If things gets complicated, take a break… engage some well-wishers to assist resolve the matter"

Some other recommended articles:

Self Improvement, Wisdom, Professionalism, Inspirational Stories, Positivity, Leadership, Management, Stress, Optimism and Peace, Productivity.

by Junaid Tahir
You might have heard the story about the two wolves. If not, here is the refresher.
The old man told his son that a battle between two wolves inside each one of us goes on all the times. First wolf is the Evil character wolf; it produces germs of anger, envy, sorrow, greed, arrogance, stress, lies and tension in our minds. Whereas, the second one is Good character wolf; it generates the energy for hope, peace, happiness, truth, generosity and ethics in our mind, heart and soul. The son asked, so who wins the battle? The old man replied, the one which you feed more!

The story has a superb driving force motivating us to do our self audit. The question is that which wolf we feed daily and how much? If we surround ourselves in negative character people, do back biting, leg pulling, learning tricks to deceive people and talk pessimist events or ideas then definitely we are strengthening the Evil Wolf. On the contrary, if we spend our times with nice and positive people, read good books, focus on solutions, and assist people in resolving their problems then we are encouraging the Good Wolf to overcome the Evil one. In the long run, the Wolf represents our character because eventually our character gets molded either in to a Good Wolf or Evil Wolf.
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Self Improvement, Wisdom, Professionalism, Inspirational Stories, Positivity, Leadership, Management, Stress, Optimism and Peace, Productivity.

There was once an earnest gardener who loved his work and his produce. One day he was walking through his delightful garden and happened to notice a weed. The gardener was particularly tired so he decided to leave it.

The next day he had to leave to visit his relatives in another country for two weeks. When he came back, the back yard was covered in weeds and all his produce was dead!


Likewise, if we allow just one bad thought in our head and fail to remove it, it will sprout and instead of having to pick one weed, we will have too much to control.
If we destroy our negative thoughts, by allowing positive ones to grow, they will display in our personality like a beautiful garden.
Thats the power of positive thought. We are, what our thoughts are.
We should always entertain only good and positive thoughts in our mind and never give way for anything negative!
Be alert and conscious of your thoughts and pick out the weeds of your negative thoughts consciously and quickly, at the right moment
Self Improvement, Wisdom, Professionalism, Inspirational Stories, Positivity, Leadership, Management, Stress, Optimism and Peace, Productivity.

Here is a list of things you need to teach your Child(ren) at early age:

1: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

2: Avoid Getting Dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.

3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'

4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child.

7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.

8: Once your child complains about a particular person, don't keep quiet about it. Take up the case and show them you can defend them. 

9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.

10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that includes you (remember, charity begins from home and with you).

11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).

12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the

13: Warn your Girl Child Never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including uncles.

Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.

Have a Nice day and Great Week Ahead

And possible forward to all friends who have children's

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Self Improvement, Wisdom, Professionalism, Inspirational Stories, Positivity, Leadership, Management, Stress, Optimism and Peace, Productivity.

Muhammad Amjad is a good friend of mine and I always spend quality time with him. Today, while we were discussing different personality traits from Anger Management perspective, he introduced me to the concept of Explosive and Implosive Personalities. So here is the summary of what we discussed:

If you belong to "Explosive Group of Angry People" then you tend to react on the spot when you don't like things, talks or an event whenever it happens. You don't hide your feelings and say whatever you feel about it. For example, at a ticket counter when someone breaks the queue, you speak loud about the violation that has happened. On the contrary, you belong to "Implosive Group of Angry People" when you keep your feelings within you. You feel that you can absorb the situation and you want to keep the situation peaceful. Artile written by Junaid.Tahir

Well, based on the above paragraph it will not be appropriate to conclude if Explosive Anger Reaction is better or Implosive Anger Reaction as both have their pros and cons. Below is the summary:

Explosive Anger Management: Since you don't keep things in heart instead you speak up so you are not building any stress inside you. So you are an open heart personality. Disadvantage is that if you have misjudged the situation and reacted all of a sudden, there is a chance that you will regret your statements and acts. Remember, words once spoken cannot be reverted. Because of your reactive personality, people prefer not to mingle with you as their respect is on stake while near you as they never know what will happen if you don't like anything at any point in time. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

Implosive Anger Management: The advantage is that you are creating a peaceful environment and avoiding any kind of brawl in your surroundings consequently people feel comfortable when you are around and they are easy to get along with you. The disadvantage is that by not speaking and reacting to the situations you are building stress inside you and impacting your peace of mind. Also, you are not playing your role in improving the situation and you are not adding any positive impact in your surroundings, society or family whichever applicable.

Overall, both approaches can be adopted at different type of situations. The optimum approach would be to keep yourself cool in all kind of circumstance. Whenever a situation triggers your anger, be logical, analytical and ethical in your response in such a way that you are contributing to improve the situation for yourself and for others as well. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

Small acts of kinds generate big ripples of happiness in the society.
If you have different opinions about Explosive and Implosive Anger Management, please do share.

Junaid Tahir

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Self Improvement, Wisdom, Professionalism, Inspirational Stories, Positivity, Leadership, Management, Stress, Optimism and Peace, Productivity.

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in ten-digits (phone numbers).
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
Boy: 'Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
Woman: (at the other end of the phone line): 'I already have someone to cut my lawn.'
Boy: 'Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now.'
Woman: I'm very satisfied with 
the person who is presently cutting my lawn.
Boy: (with more perseverance): 'I'll even sweepyour curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida.'
Woman: No, thank you.
With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.
The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy.
Store Owner: 'Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job.'
Boy: 'No thanks'.
Store Owner: But you were really pleading for one.
Boy: No Sir, I was just checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to!'

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Self Improvement, Wisdom, Professionalism, Inspirational Stories, Positivity, Leadership, Management, Stress, Optimism and Peace, Productivity.

By Junaid Tahir:
Everyone now a days is craving for peace of mind through monetary achievements approach however what people don't understand is that materialistic achievements provide temporary happiness but not the long lasting state of abundance. On the contrary, a person possessing a holy spirit regardless of being poor or rich can have the great contentment state of mind. You may think that practicing the qualities of holy spirit is not an easy job and only special people can develop and practice such traits, I would disagree with you. You must remember that all people are born with the same principles of nature (including you) however successful and peaceful people are those who have the tendency to learn things which are good for their body, heart and soul !!! Having said that, below are the 8 qualities which you must strive for in order to join the league of Grat Spirits and enjoy the ultimate mental and spiritual happiness:

1-     Great Spirits lack in the ability to conflict, complain, curse, conspire and criticise. (More details about 6Cs can be read here.) They mind their own business. They have least tendency of discussing people. They believe in the fact that small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, higher minds discuss ideas and great minds act in silence.
2-    They are implosive and optimistic with solid control on their mood swings. They are highly adaptable and resilient to most of the stretched circumstances by having strong control on their negative thoughts.

3-    They believe that nothing else but others will remember them on how they made them feel. Hence they are empathic and emotionally intelligent in judging others situations and feelings in order to resolve their crisis to make them feel good. They have frequent attacks of smiling and laughter to keep others happy.
4-    They enjoy the present, forget the past and don't get worried too much about the future. They have a great tendency of living in needs instead of wants hence they have absence of greed in their nature.
5-    They believe that being thankful is the open door to abundance hence they possess high degree of gratitude. The spiritual people keep reminding themselves that what if they woke up next day with the only blessings they were thankful for yesterday. The Feeling of gratitude strengthens the degree of contentment. They remember the quote "When Your Head is on the Pillow and the Day is Almost Done – Count God's blessings, Count Them One by One"
6-    They believe in simplicity instead of being socially sensitive. They understand that its perfectly alright not to follow each fashion trend or buy a new luxury car which their friends have because comparing themselves with others is an insulting act. Also pleasing everybody will never bring long lasting peace in their lives.
7-    They listen more and speak less. If they speak, they speak what is positive, important or beneficial for others. They know that when a person speaks more he/she is on the verge of making more mistakes hence spiritually strong people listen more and speak less.  

While it may take time to develop these habits however once you make concrete commitment with yourself for the pursuit of happiness through practicing these qualities, the journey would become much easier and the fruits of your efforts would be very sweet and long lasting.   

9 Rules for Staying Positive all the times Follow me on Twitter  View my profile on LinkedIn  Like my page on Facebook  Read my articles on my personal blog  Subscribe to my Feed  Visit my Google+ Page