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Dialogue with David - The Person in Anxiety and Depression



With around 2500 daily visitors on DailyTenMinutes, some people approach us for counselling regarding stress, anxiety and depression. Below is one of the most recent dialogues with a visitor named David (name changed due to privacy) which might help other visitors answering the most frequently asked questions on stress management subject.




Dear Junaid,
I have been suffering from Mental illness since 1993. but from 1993 to 2003 i was taking medicines for Gastro (Digestion) ,then from 2003 onwards till today i take medicines prescribed by Psychiatrist but i am confused weather it is mental or Gastro(Indigestion). The point is i start getting stressed and nervous quite often. So i am under constant stress.
I also get suicidal thoughts frequently but somehow i am afraid to commit suicide.
Please Junaid, help me as i am just living simply hopeless life and even my family remains disturbed.
Regards
David




Dear David,

Based on your email, below are the problems you are experiencing Frequent Mood Swings, Depression, Anxiety, Tension and Gastro.
Generally speaking stress, mood swings and getting irritated are interlinked which means, a person gets easily irritated and disturbed who is under stress. So I believe that you need some major changes in your life style in order to overcome your stress. Below are some questions which can help us analyze the situation in detail and then we can plan necessary measures to improve things out. 
Below is the dialogue via email correspondence between Junaid and David:






SECTION-1: Answer these questions to find the root of your problems:

Junaid: Do you have financial problems? Are you in debt?         
David: Not at all
Junaid: This is a good sign that you don’t have financial issues. A lot of people increase their stress levels due to financial problems. You must be thankful to the Lord about it. You must spend some time daily thinking about the fact that millions of people don’t have food to eat 3 times daily. This practice will improve your mental peace and give you a great feeling of contentment. Trust me, it works !!!

Junaid: Do you think too much to make others happy?                 
David- Yes, Extremely and i am afraid to say no.
Junaid: So, we found one of the reasons for your worries and possibly this is the root cause of several other problems you are giving birth to.
David, keeping everyone happy is not possible. Because every soul on earth is unique having completely different way of comprehension of things. You cannot  control other’s brain however you can definitely control yours.  So be honest, fair and truthful with others and try to have a clear conscience, a synced body-mind-soul and then don’t really think too much about your acts and making others happy. Having said that you must start ignoring thoughts of keeping others happy, you would start improving your mental peace tremendously.  

Junaid: Do you think too much about past?                              
David- YES 
Junaid: So this is your second problem (First being thinking too much about others). There are two things which you need to work on. First, develop the power of not looking back. Read my article by clicking here. Second is to control your wandering thoughts. You must have noticed fish in aquarium. All of the fish, keep wandering here and there with no clear purpose. Human mind does the same act exactly. However humans can control this unnecessary mind wandering. There are several approaches to control and improve the purity of your negative thoughts. For example, surrounding yourself in good people, reading great books, subscribing to good Facebook Pages, visiting self improvement websites such as DailyTenMinutes .com  etc.

Junaid: Do you think too much about future?                              
David- Not more but only for my single SON
Junaid: This is a natural thing. Everyone is concerned about his kids. A general advice would be not to think more than 2-3 years (except some major concerns like studies etc) because, now a days, things get changed quite often. You never know what is going to happen in next 6 months. I know some people who planned too much and one sudden event changed everything and their whole planning exercise became void. So my advice is to live in today. Enjoy what the life is offering you today. Go to market, hang out with friends, enjoy some nice dinner out side home, read some good book, visit a distant relative, explore a new city or country, visit a hill place etc. 

Junaid: Do you have good relations with your spouse and kids?    
David: No and totally shattered after my extra martial relationship was exposed to my wife and son both. 
Junaid: This is your third problem and requires your real focus. 
David, anyone can be wrong, it’s human nature. But confessing being wrong and apologize is something only brave people do. And these are the real happy people. So you must approach your wife and son for the same. You must redevelop your family’s trust in you. Read the article by clicking here. Further, another 10 points program for happy family is a highly recommended article.

Junaid: Do you have a healthy professional circumstances?          
David- No but due to my mental illness  almost daily I struggle to go to my job. 
Junaid: Since the reason for bad professional circumstances is stress so it would improve automatically once you overcome your stress and anxiety issues. Hence my prime suggestion is to focus on resolving your stress. However if you specifically want to work on improving your professional life. You must avoid office politics, must improve your corporate image and develop healthy relationships with your peers.




SECTION-2: Answer these questions to see if you have a healthy approach to life:

       
Junaid: Do you read good books?
David- No 
Junaid: A highly recommended step !!! Book reading improves your vocabulary, concentration, focus, discipline, memory, creativity and reasoning skills. It builds your self-esteem, expertise, and deceases mistakes and boredom. It also improves general knowledge. Its stops your brain from getting distracted. So do visit your nearest book store and buy yourself a book on positivity, inspirational stories. humor or on a great leader of your country.

Junaid: Do you walk for 15 minutes daily or go to the park on weekend?-      
David: Not at all
Junaid: This is one of the brain and body damaging habits. Walking have several advantages such as reducing blood pressure, improved digestion, cholesterol control, fresh brain, better sleep and so on. So start doing this as soon as possible; in morning or in evening. If you don’t want to go alone, try finding a partner who can convince you when you are lazy. 

Junaid: Do you laugh often?  By watching funny programs or sharing jokes?
David- Yes but only in with some friends but not watching funny programmes but I enjoy listening jokes.
Junaid: This is good. Keep it up. Laughing and Smiling improves your mental health and a good way of taking you away from your problems for some time.  Remember, any small time spent away from worries is good for your physical and mental health. 

Junaid: Do you have a best friend with whom you can share your feelings and discuss your problems?          
David - NOT at all
Junaid: Having friends is very important in today's stressful life style. You can share your problems with them, take advice from them, hang out with them and so on. So try to make friends at work or near your home. If nothing works, try finding on internet. However refrain from extra marital relations as you have already suffered due to this.

Junaid: when was the last time you gave something in charity?                      
David:  I cannot recall 
Junaid: People attain good spiritual and mental satisfaction when they give money in charity. Try to visit some orphan place, buy toys or clothes for the orphans or poor people near your place, buy food for a needy family, give small tips to the restaurant boy etc. I am sure the blessings of Almighty will increase in your life.

Junaid: when was the last time you rewarded yourself by buying something good for you?  
David- I don't like buying for me 
Junaid: I personally believe that rewarding oneself is a good idea. You don’t need to buy a costly thing for you. You can buy nice coffee cup, a new mobile phone, a nice book, a tuxedo etc. This gives you inner happiness; try.

David, I believe that with the above recommendations in both sections you will attain better life style, a higher mental peace and improved health. I highly recommend you to visit the “Stress Management” section of my website and spend 10 minutes daily to learn new tools and techniques. Stay blessed.


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