Blog Archive

6 Steps to Avoid Over-worrying about Kids

Here are 6 DON’Ts when it comes to over-worrying, over-focusing on your child and being a helicopter parent:

1. Don’t hover over your child.  Don’t tie your 5-year-old’s shoes when she can tie her own, or dress her when she can dress herself. Avoid hovering and holding her back from normal “risks” a child would take at her age level. It’s also not a good idea to talk to her teachers incessantly, or answer all your child’s questions so she doesn’t have to think of answers for herself. If she hesitates to make her own decisions, try not to jump in and do it for her—let her reason it out on her own if she can. Allow her to feel discomfort or pain; it’s part of growing up. Don’t prevent her from struggling or rescue her from life’s hardships. Kids can’t learn if their parents are always doing it for them.

Related: Are you stuck in an anxiety cycle, worrying about your child?

2. Don’t put your worry on your child’s back. Don’t focus on your child morning, noon and night, imagining all the worst outcomes. Let go of negative thoughts about her future, like, “What if she doesn’t amount to anything when she grows up?  Is her shyness a sign of her lack of confidence?” Don’t interrogate her when you get anxious, and keep asking, “Are you okay? “ “Are you sure?” Or “That looks difficult. Are you sure you can handle that?” Or “Do you have anyone to play with at recess? Who?” Don’t look for evidence to confirm your worst fears about your child.

3. Don’t make your child the center of your universe.  Don’t try to get all your emotional needs met by your child. If you’re there at his beck-and-call and over-functioning for him (in other words, doing for him what he can do for himself), he’ll have a hard time functioning on his own in the world. Most importantly, don’t allow his achievements to determine your self-worth and validation as a parent.

4. Don’t label your child.  Negatively (or even positively) labeling your child is not a good idea, because it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy, or push her into a box that isn’t right for her. Don’t remind one of your kids that she is “the pretty one” or “the funny one” or “the lazy one” or “the one who will turn out just like Dad.” Avoid saying, “You never…” or “You always…” Let go of deciding now who your child is or will become; nobody knows yet, not even your child. Allow yourself to imagine other possibilities. The bottom line is that words are powerful, so don’t make negative predictions about what your child will become.

Related: How to give your child consequences that really work!

5. Don’t take it personally if your child doesn’t agree with you, or does things differently from you. If you get in your child’s head, he won’t be able to hear his own thoughts and beliefs. Even if he thinks differently than you, don’t argue with him over it—instead, invite him to tell you more. Don’t shut him down when he has ideas or opinions that are different from the ones you would like him to have, or insist on having the last word. And finally, try not to take things personally if he chooses a different path in life than the one you thought he would take.

6. Don’t focus on your child as a way of not having to deal with your own struggles. This is a big one, and can be very hard for parents. Try not to get so involved in your child’s life that you neglect your own. Don’t think or worry about your child so much that you avoid thinking about your own life, your work or your adult relationships. What I often say to parents is, “Don’t focus so much on taking care of your child’s garden that you forget to tend to your own.”

What’s a better approach? Let your child experience the consequences of his actions. Let go of constant worry as a parent, and realize you can’t control everything your kids do—you can only respond to how they behave. Try to see their strengths as well as their struggles. You can avoid over-worrying and being a helicopter parent if you work on developing strong relationships with your children by getting to know them for who they are. Allow them to make their own mistakes, face their own consequences, and solve their own problems. This will allow you to let go of hovering, doing too much for your kids and worrying about them all the time, and best of all, it will help you become a calmer, more peaceful parent.

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What You Imagine is Extremely Important

In your imagination, go again and again to magnificent, beautiful places. In your life, work to bring into being the beauty you have imagined.

Let your imagination inspire you. Feel the power of your imagination as it gets you going.

Allow your imagination to assist you in zeroing in on a meaningful and compelling destination and purpose. Use your imagination to explore ways to get there and to remind you of why you want to get there.

What you create comes from what you imagine. From a well-nurtured imagination comes a well-lived life.

Though imagination doesn't do all the work, it can serve to powerfully direct and focus the efforts you make. Imagination gives you meaningful, desirable and compelling places to go.

Imagine living with greater energy, more enthusiasm, joy, effectiveness and fulfillment. Imagine it, and you're well on your way there.

Ralph Marston - The Daily Motivator
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Story: Forgiveness is Greater Than Revenge

 A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. 

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, “Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home committed suicide. 

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge..

The Power of Words

Different words affect people and differently and cause different reactions. 


This applies to routine talks, work interviews, advertising, relationships, any conversations and every sort of communication.

The words you repeat in your mind, in your inner conversations, also have a tremendous power. If you change them, you can change your life, and also how people treat you.

Pay attention to the words you constantly repeat in your mind. Be aware of what is going on in your mind, when you are not too busy, such as while waiting in line, travelling by bus or train, walking, or at any other time you are mentally not busy.
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5 Puzzles with Answers

1.There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall
building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work.
Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! Why?

(This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all
lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying. )
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2. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, lumper,gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its lights off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

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3. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?
This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that
can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.

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4. A man went to a party and had a drink. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the drinks,died of poisoning. Why did that man not die?

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5. A man walks into a hotel and asks the man for a glass of
water. The man pulls out a gun and points it at the man. 

The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.

(This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out. )

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Scroll down for the solutions.
 

   
















                                                      

SOLUTIONS

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1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the elevator buttons. However,if it is raining then he will have his umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.
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2. It was day time.
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3. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers
should be round.
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4. The poison in the drink came from the ice cubes. When the man Drank, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted,
poisoning the drink.
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5. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups-so the man no longer needed the water.



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Funny Answers

 A student who may have got 0% marks was surprised cos all his answers were seemingly correct :)

Q.1: In which battle did Tipu Sultan die ?
A.1: In his last battle

Q.2: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed ?
A.2: At the bottom of the page

Q.3: What is the main reason for Divorce ?
A.3: Marriage

Q.4: In which state does the river Ganga flow ?
A.4: Liquid State

Q.5: When was Mahatma Gandhi born ?
A.5: On his Birthday

Q.6: How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people ?
A.6: By preparing Mango shake

Info: Luxurious One Bedroom Apartment

This 412 square meter aparment (4,434) has only one bedroom, but is probably the most expensive one bedroom apartment in the world. It is located at a very prestigious Tokyo neighborhood and is simply named by realestate agents as: "The house". 

The price tag? $21.8 million.

The interior includes custom designed Italian furniture, wooden panels, imported stone for the floors and a fully enclosed courtyard with a beautiful garden. Add to that a terrace overlooking a park, two kitchens and three bathrooms - and you'll start to understand the price tag.

Still, with all of this - it only has one bedroom! So this might be the most luxurious bachelor pad we've ever seen!