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How to Stop Being Shy - Competence over Confidence


If you don't have a nice circle of friends, that are fun and who also encourage you to get ahead in life, then you're either shy about meeting and making friends, or you're not exactly sure about how to do it. On the other hand, perhaps you're already trying to meet new people, but you're not getting the results you want, because you're not using the best strategies that could easily bring great people into your life.

In this article, I want to share with you how you can stop shyness from sabotaging your social life, and how to start meeting friends.

How to Stop Being Shy – Competence over Confidence


If you want to "beat" your shyness by learning to build confidence, it can take you a long time, because shyness is deeply wired into your emotions.

Instead of trying to change your shyness, I recommend that you focus on learning how to do what shyness is preventing you from doing.

Social Competence is key. The more you know about how the social world works, and how to socialize, the less discouraging mistakes you'll make, and the more friends you'll have.

Here are a couple of tips you can use:

Tip #1 – How to get comfortable in a social situation
If you're shy about going to a party, or to a social gathering, then a simple switch that can help is to go EARLY. If you do this, you'll give yourself some time to get used to the surrounding and feel comfortable gradually before it gets crowded with people.

If you know the host, then you could offer to help out. That might allow you to be more comfortable by having something to do.


Tip #2 – What to do when people invite you, but you are nervous about accepting

Do you find yourself in the situation of declining people's invitations, but regretting it afterwards, because you know you want to go?

What you can do in this situation, is to accept the invitation, and have a back-up plan. This allows you to leave the place if you get too nervous and can't handle the social pressure. You can tell the person that invited you that you don't know how long you can stay, because you're expecting a call from someone and you may need to leave to help him or her out with something.

This allows you to either stay if you feel comfortable, or leave, if you don't. Either way, you win.


Tip #3 – How to clearly express your opinion, if you're not used to it

Expressing your opinion is important, but if you're not used to doing it, it can feel scary. One way to overcome this is to use humor. Offering ideas in a light or even silly manner is less intimidating.


The more you focus on HOW to socialize, the quicker you'll find answers. I suggest that you stay open to new ideas when it comes to social skills like keeping conversations going, meeting people, and building your social circle. Source: LifeHack.

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