BY ROBERT LOCKE
BY ROBERT LOCKE
Are you overwhelmed by negative thoughts and past failures? If you are, then it is difficult to feel confident. My father's advice always was, "Look on the bright side." I did not rea
lize that was such good advice until about 30 years later! Here are 11 easy ways to boost your confidence if you are feeling glum and pessimistic.
1. Focus on positive thoughts.
Looking on the bright side means focusing on the positive aspects of your life. Focus on your good health, achievements, talents, and experience.Research has shown that when elderly Canadians were convinced that their health was poor, they were much more likely to end up in hospital than those who were convinced their health was excellent. Time to dismiss all those negative thoughts!
2. Use the power of mantras.
Thoughts need to be verbalized and this is how the power of mantras, repeated to yourself, can work. Perhaps you are dogged by critical comments, desolate because of insults or crippled by setbacks? How on earth can you boost your confidence with all that going on? Many experts believe that when we repeat mantras, we can boost confidence. Try a few of these for yourself:
- "What others say is a reflection of them, not me."
- "The only approval I need is my own."
- "I am good enough."
- "I look great."
- "I can succeed in this."
3. Sit up straight.
There are now posture corrector apps which can be attached to your lower back to remind you to sit up straight with head lifted and shoulders back. The experts tell us that when we slouch, this affects our whole outlook on life. One study showed that those who sat upright were much more optimistic about their prospects in careers and their relationships. Those who were slouching were way down the list as regards confidence. Stop slouching!
4. Learn from setbacks.
Maybe you think that there are far too many setbacks and this has ruined your confidence in getting that dream job or getting a great figure. You may be thinking that your weight loss program is useless because you will never achieve your goal. The secret here is think of a setback or failure as feedback. It is telling you what to adjust and how to continue on the road, using a slightly different approach.
"Life's problems reveal who we really are"- Unknown
5. Think of expectations rather than fantasies.
If you fantasize too much and visualize lots of success, happiness and wealth, there may be a shock coming. Research now suggests that positive expectations are a much safer route to take to boost your confidence. After all, dreaming is part of a fantasy. Expectations are based on past experiences. Studies show that people with realistic expectations were doing better at getting the dream job or finding a partner.
6. Choose 5 things you can easily do.
Maybe you are a great jogger or cook? Perhaps you are kind and compassionate? Whatever it is, choose 5 of these things that you are really good at and always make you feel great afterwards. This is a great confidence booster and an even better one is to tick them off your list at the end of the day.
7. Seek out positive leisure time.
This is where you have to make an effort to avoid toxic company and also exposure to bad news. We are surrounded by disasters and every time we log on, there is news about some catastrophe, There is very rarely good news. This can drag us down into doom and gloom. The solution to boost confidence is to dedicate more time to physical activity, watching funny videos and above all, enjoying the company of positive friends and colleagues.
8. List your achievements.
You need to constantly remind yourself of what you achieved in your life so far. This often gets overshadowed by problems and worries. These can cloud your vision and make your goal seem impossible. A good idea is to keep a list of your successes near your computer to remind yourself. There is nothing wrong with self-promotion. This is a great confidence booster. The great thing about being self-confident is that you can inspire others to be like that too. Spread the good news!
9. Count your blessings.
My father also said this! Look at what you have now. You are in a comfortable space, you have enough food to eat, and you can even read my article! Did you know that happiness is made up of 90% of how you actually view your life? The other miserable 10% make up the actual circumstances. Too often, when you are not self-confident, you tend to concentrate on this tiny percentage.
Every single day, make sure you list all the things you have to be grateful for. Your list will probably be quite long. That will make you feel happier straightaway and also boost your confidence
10. Keep taking risks.
Imagine that you have had negative feedback or that you have screwed up at work. These things happen all the time and your confidence takes a battering. The worst possible thing you can do is to crawl back into your shell and decide to keep a low profile. Head down and work away without taking any risks. This is not a good way to recover. We need to keep taking risks and keep moving forward to achieve success. That is the best recipe to get back your confidence. Retirement is not an option yet!
11. Forget perfectionism."If you're going through hell, keep going." – Winston Churchill
We all strive to be the best, the nicest, the most successful. The list goes on and on. But recognizing that perfectionism is simply not achievable can be a great recipe to boost confidence. Nothing wrong with excellence but perfectionism will ensure we spend too much time comparing ourselves to others all the time. That is not healthy at all and can ruin our confidence as we observe their successes. The best way forward to self-confidence is to stop beating ourselves up for our mistakes and our faults.