1. Always keep your words soft and
sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
2. Always read stuff that will make
you look good if you die in the middle of it.
3. Drive carefully.
It's not only cars that can be
recalled by their maker.
4. If you can't be kind, at least
have the decency to be vague.
5. If you lend someone $20, and
never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.
6. It may be that your sole purpose
in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
7. Never buy a car you can't push.
8. Never put both feet in your mouth
at the same time, because then you
don't have a leg to stand on.
9. Happiness comes through doors
you didn't even know you left open.
10. When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.
11. Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have, the longer you live.
12. Ever notice that the people who
are late are often much jollier than the
people who have to wait for them?
13. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't
more people happy?
14. You may be only one person in
the world, but you may also be
the world to one person.
15. Some mistakes are too much
fun to make only once.
16. Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened.
17. We could learn a lot from crayons:
Some are sharp,
Some are pretty,
Some are dull,
Some have weird names
All are different colours,
But they all have to learn to
live in the same box.
18. A truly happy person is one
who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.