​​It is most tempting, when you find out someone is depressed, to attempt to immediately fix the problem. However, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist (as a friend or professional), the following responses are more likely to help.

The things that didn’t
make me feel worse are words which 
1) acknowledge my depression for what it is (No ‘it’s just a phase’) 
2) give me permission to feel depressed (No ‘but why should you be sad?’)

Here is the list from contributors to a.s.d.:

1. “I love you!”
2. “I Care”
3. “You’re not alone in this”
4. “I’m not going to leave/abandon you”
5. “Do you want a hug?”
6. “I love you (if you mean it).”
7. “It will pass, we can ride it out together.”
8. “When all this is over, I’ll still be here (if you mean it) and so will you.”

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