What makes a person resilient? How does anyone come through the fires of adversity a stronger, more driven version of themselves? Each person's life has a different path than their neighbors, so the answer can sometimes be long-winded.
Besides pinpointing and nurturing internal formations, it helps to be discriminating in how or who they allow to influence them. A beautiful flower needs fertile soil and to not be molested by predators and parasites.
There are people and situations that are very much like spiritual pests and predators. Below are listed major elements to avoid. Circumnavigating these will save you time and suffering. Life isn't only about recovering from bad situations.
A person shouldn't be judged on how they behave when everything is working out and going well. They should be measured by how they proceed when everything is against them.
How we handle suffering defines who we are as people and giving up is the worst option. Any self-reliant and capable person has had to learn this and won't allow someone to drag them down with their inaction or pity party.
An Unsupportive Partner
Your partner should be your biggest fan and a cornerstone in your personal support structure. It isn't fair when, after you have given your partner whatever they needed, they don't rise to meet your needs.
It isn't an unreasonable expectation to want the unwavering support of the person who claims they love you. Be sure to keep them informed as to what you are expecting or need. Life changes fast and no one is a mind reader after all.
A truly resilient individual doesn't do anything for praise and recognition. But it always hurts when credit is not given where it is due. After working and trying to reach a goal or fulfill a promise, it stings terribly when others don't, or won't acknowledge your efforts and intentions.
No one likes this, but not everyone does something when debased. A strong-willed individual isn't afraid of necessary conflict. They understand that respect is one of the pillars holding up society.
Respect is a type of love and acknowledgement that everyone deserves. Any strong and productive person has worked hard to enforce their character and nurture themselves into what they are. Any attempt to drag them down will be stopped.
Emotionally Distant Romantic Partners
While it can be very trying to acknowledge and share our true selves, it has to be done. Strong people realize the power in vulnerability. For a spiritually capable and mentally focused person to grow close to another person, they have to know who that person is.
An unwillingness to try and trust will stand in the way of a relationship moving forward and being mutually beneficial. If the relationship is not a safe and nurturing place then you will move on to someone willing to try.
One of the ugliest traits, it has no place in the life of capable and thriving people. Jealousy is inherently disrespectful and self-defeating. If entertained, even in the slightest way, this trait can hijack a person's life.
Once jealousy is a standard way of thinking, the person will cease to grow and is guaranteed to hurt and detract from those around them. No one who has realized their potential, and the vast opportunities available throughout the universe, would willingly put that handicap on themselves or allow it around them.
A person who can't acknowledge their needs and express themselves honestly are repellent to real, self aware people. While trying to sort out life's puzzles, who wants to have to worry about the hidden agendas of those around them.
Disingenuous people try their best to seem legitimate, but they can be spotted by the lack of forward movement in their lives, as well as an obsession with the perception of others. They try to fool everyone around them into believing their fantasies, spending as much time and resources as they can to achieve this.
The true nature of life isn't easy, but once we open up and start fundamentally connecting to the universe, the beauty and possibilities are made obvious and available. Fake people aren't motivated by internal growth or awareness, but only by external projections.