Imagine You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You curse....
Imagine
You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a
cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You curse. You harshly scold
your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears.
After
scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the
cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your
daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for
school. She misses the bus. Your wife must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are
late, you drive 80 km an hour in a 60 kmph speed limit. After a 15
minute delay and paying a $60 traffic fine, you arrived at school. Your
daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye.
After
arriving at the office 30 minutes late, you find you forgot your
briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to
get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive
home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and
daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the traffic policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the traffic policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D.
You
had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in
those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and
should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about
to cry. You gently say "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful
next time".
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new
shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the
window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You
and your wife kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes
early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good a
day you are having. Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both
started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you
REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens.
The other 90% is determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret:
If
someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the
attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative
comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A
wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting
stressed out, etc.
How
do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your
temper? Pound the steering wheel till it fall off? Do you curse? Does
your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if
you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the blue car ruin your
drive.
Remember
the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it! You are told you lost
your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Channel
your energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late. It is
going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why vent out your frustration
on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use
your time to read, get to know the other passengers, etc. Why get
stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10
secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
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