Blog Archive

Are you Reactor, Organizer or Commoner?





  Being Proactive means to plan and align things in advance by foreseeing future risks, problems or challenges. Having said that, there are three kind of people on earth.


Category-1 is those who strategize things as they have the visualization to portray the future. So they organize things in advance in order to avoid any possible set back. I call these people as 'Organizers'.

Category-2 is those people who have the reactive methodology to handle things. That means whenever a situation arises they react accordingly. I call these people as 'Reactors'. Although there can be good Reactors but the majority of them are bad Reactors since most of the situations do not give them the luxury of taking a U-Turn for going back to neutral to start again.

Category-3 is Commoners. These people do not have control on their lives. They are the product of their circumstances. They automatically flow with the wind; no matter where the wind takes them to. Of course, the first category is the best one as they have a proactive approach to life. So coming back to the track to understand the concept of pro-activeness in more details. Here are some points:



1.     Proactiveness is the vision and ability to align the tasks well in advance to avoid mishaps.


2.    Proactiveness is to foresee the possible problems and work on the contingencies in parallel with the master plan. It is strongly recommended to execute your contingencies before they execute themselves at the required time, because you never know whether your contingency plan is going to be successful or not. Hence be sure about it by testing the contingency in advance specially when the risk factor is high.


3.    Proactive people have the analytical skills to understand any situation in detail so that they can see low level risks and plan accordingly. (You may want to review my article on analytical skills here.



Considering a Tree analogy, I would refer 'The Organizers' as 'The Roots', 'The Reactors' as 'The Branches' and 'The Commoners' as 'The leaves'. Always remember the fact that when the wind blows, its leaves which are impacted at first place. So its Leaf's responsibility to stick to the Tree if they need to live. For Tree, it does not matter if any of the leaf is broken due to strong wind (circumstances).  Which category you belong to? Please share your thoughts.

14 Psychological Tricks to Try Today


14 Psychological Tricks

14 Psychological Tricks
14 Psychological Tricks

14 Psychological Tricks
14 Psychological Tricks

14 Psychological Tricks
Get a group of friends together and hold up $1 bill for auction. Tell them that whoever makes the highest bid will win the bill, but anyone who makes the second-highest bid will have to honor their bid. Now, sit back and watch as the bid goes from a couple of cents to as much as $5. Your friends will quickly forget the value of the dollar, as long as they “don’t lose”. When the bid gets close to a dollar, the second highest bidder will overbid on the bill, thinking it’s better to lose 10 cents, rather than 99.

16 Ways to Motivate Your People Without Spending Money

Nobody is willing to work for free, at least not forever. But money itself won't motivate your employees to consistently deliver high-quality work and go above and beyond for your business.

Sure, you need to pay your people, and pay them fairly—you're not going to accomplish much if your staff feel like their compensation doesn't reflect the fair market value of their work. But while lack of money can be a de-motivator, cash alone won't make employees do their best.

Don't take my word for it. Frederick Herzberg's classic study on employee motivation showed that being content at work isn't the opposite of being discontent. Instead, the opposite of job satisfaction is no job satisfaction, and the opposite of job dissatisfaction is no job dissatisfaction.

Herzberg identified a distinct set of intrinsic factors that led to contentedness, and extrinsic ones that influenced unhappiness. Motivators include achievement, recognition for achievement, the work itself, responsibility, opportunities for growth and advancement. De-motivators include company policy and administration, supervision, interpersonal relationships, working conditions, salary, status, and security. Notice that compensation is an extrinsic factor—per Herzberg's research, poor wages will result in job dissatisfaction, but the best a fair salary can achieve is no job dissatisfaction. 
 
If you want happy employees, you need to focus on Herzberg's intrinsic factors. Your motivation strategy should also take into account two other verifiable truths: Employees will copy behaviour that they see rewarded in others, and different employees have different needs, desires and goals.
Many of the leaders I work with assume that rewarding employees means an endless drain on their budgets. That doesn't have to be true. Be creative and flexible, and it's not hard to come up with inexpensive ways to motivate your people. In fact, it's possible to push people from average to exceptional performance without spending a penny.

Here are sixteen zero- or low-cost ideas to motivate your people on a shoestring budget.
  1. Set goals: Everyone wants to feel like they've achieved something. If you don't mark your destination on your roadmap, how will you know when you get there? Hitting collective, company-wide objectives will make your employees feel like they're part of something bigger.
  2. Offer specific and sincere praise: There's no such thing as too much recognition, as long as you're acknowledging tangible accomplishments.
  3. Get to know them as people: What are their hobbies and their interests? Do they have children or pets? Build personal relationships with your staff, and they'll do their all not to let you down.
  4. Listen intently when they're talking: Remember that your staff are your eyes and ears with customers. By asking questions of your employees and paying attention to what they have to say, you might learn something that will help you run a more profitable business.
  5. Tell people why: Explaining the thinking or reasons behind a task you're assigning to someone builds their understanding of what they're being asked to do, and will help them do it better.
  6. Facilitate regular lively and informational meetings: Your employees want to know what is happening at the company where they work, and appreciate it when you fill them in.
  7. Offer timely and constructive feedback: Your employees want to know how they're doing, good or bad. If you offer critiques constructively, they will listen and work to improve.
  8. Celebrate successes
  9. Treat them with respect: Respect begets respect, for you as a manager and for what you're trying to achieve with your business
  10. Offer flexibility: Don't get caught up with quibbling rules. Think about your purpose and the bigger picture, and modify the rules where it makes sense to.
  11. Eat together: Food is a great motivator. You don't have to cater a fancy lunch every day—the occasional potluck works just as well.
  12. Play games: It's easy to get carried away with office-wide extracurricular activities, but the occasional break for fun can produce big results. If it's feasible, offer small prizes—a little competition can up the entertainment.
  13. Volunteer together: Nothing brings a group closer than spending an afternoon together sorting canned goods at the local food bank.
  14. Declare dress-up and dress-down days: Why restrict jeans to casual Fridays? If your business environment and customer base allows, changing up the dress code can be a lot of fun.
  15. Allow for creativity in decorating the workspace. People like making things their "own," so don't insist on clutter-free desks unless you're working in a hospital operating room. A sports team poster or vacation photos can make a cubicle feel more like home.
  16. Establish a stress-free zone: Sometimes even the best jobs can get a little crazy. Give people a space in which they can relax and unwind, even if it's just a 10–15 minute daily break.
Merge Gupta-Sunderji is a speaker, author and consultant.

6 most important rules of an expert negotiator

BY: ROB HOFFMAN

**This article is the second instalment in a weekly column that explores effective techniques of communication, persuasion, and self-help using a background of NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) to understand and influence the subconscious language patterns of the people around you, as well as your own mind. In a nut-shell, if you want to become a powerhouse of social skills, this column is for you.**

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder

Effective negotiation is not as difficult as it may at first seem. When you really break it down, strong negotiation skills come down to logic and tact. Remember, nobody likes having disagreements—they're uncomfortable and emotionally taxing if not handled with care. Everybody has positive intentions, but in the wrong setting it's easy for a negotiation to escalate into an ugly pissing-match. But getting what you want and winning an argument are often two very different things. And though it may feel good in the moment to "be right" or "prove the other person wrong," getting what you want requires a decision to be made between a short term "I told you so" and long term success.
Here are the six most important rules of an expert negotiator:

1. Framing the negotiation as a collaboration to solve a common problem:
The most important thing to keep in mind when negotiating is that the problem itself is your opponent—not the person standing across from you. If you adopt a "me vs. them" mentality, your body language, choice of words and the tone that expresses them will unconsciously project an air of competitiveness. But negotiations aren't a winner-and-loser situation—conversely, the purpose is to establish a win-win situation.
Your first step will be to establish your goals, starting from the most immediate objective and working your way up to the more general purpose(s). This is referred to in Joseph O'Connor and John Seymour's book, Introducing NLP, as "stepping up."

2. "Stepping up":
Stepping up simply means to establish the larger goal within a smaller, more immediate desire or objective.
Say your spouse asks you to attend a gym class tonight, but you had your heart set on watching the game. By "stepping up" you may learn that your spouse's intention is really to relieve stress, in which case, a long back-rub may be just as effective and will allow you to watch the game at the same time.
O'Connor and Seymour use a great example where an employee is seeking a raise—however their core intention isn't to make more money, but rather to elevate their quality of life. In this case, the employer has many other options if a raise doesn't fit in the budget, like extending vacation time or re-structuring the employee's schedule to better suit their work-flow. By "stepping up"—establishing the more general purpose behind the action—new options become available, and a healthy negotiation can unfold where both parties leave happy.
A major benefit of stepping up is to remind each party that their ambition is not necessarily to gain the object of a negotiation, but is rather tied to a broader goal that they believe the object will help them achieve. Moreover, there is almost always a broader goal that both parties have in common—however they get lost in the heat of the immediate disagreement. If a negotiation begins to escalate into a quarrel, it's important to ground the conversation by stepping up, and establishing the larger common goal.

3. No immediate retort:
This is one of the most important skills to develop for effective negotiation: when someone proposes their idea(s), do not, ever, bring up an immediate counter argument. Sharing your ideas takes courage, and immediately responding with an opposing view is a sure-fire way to put them on the defense.
When somebody makes a proposal, it means that—consciously or subconsciously—they have a vested interest in seeing their ideas play out. Therefore, immediately after making the proposal, this is where nearly 100% of their attention will be dedicated. For this reason, this is the timeframe when they will be least receptive to your ideas, and if you try to pipe in with your ideas too soon, you may as well be talking to thin air.
Instead, give their idea the attention it deserves—ask questions and explore their proposal. Not only is it more respectful, but this will also leave them open to reciprocate and explore your ideas at depth. Finally, if you disagree, use the show not tell principle. Flat out saying "I disagree" will irritate them and put up a wall that will prevent them from listening to your reasoning. Instead, explain your position and concerns first. Or better yet, ask questions that will force them to address your concerns and any potential holes in their proposal.

4. Asking questions:
Asking questions can be an invaluable skill of negotiation, that allows you to respectfully challenge someone else's positions—however, the emphasis here is on "respectfully." It is important to maintain rapport, and moreover, to eliminate any hint of venom in your voice before you ask a question. If you ask questions with a sarcastic tone in your voice, you can bet that they will pull something out of their ass that might not make complete sense, or that they do not even fully stand behind, but will nevertheless add invisible bricks to the foundation of their argument.
Instead, your questions should calmly allude to the cracks that exist within these bricks. The right questions will allow your opposite to dismantle their own argument, instead of trying to do it for them, which will only result in bitterness.
It is also useful to ask permission, before you ask a question. For example, "Do you think I could ask you a question about _____?" This will magnify the importance of the question, and moreover, prevent them from dodging the answer.

5. Proposing a hypothetical situation:
Proposing a hypothetical situation where your idea could be employed is an easy way to lower the defensive guard of a negotiation. It gently persuades your opposite to step away from the ring of negotiation, and use their creativity to establish a scenario where they could, in fact, see from your point of view. It may be hypothetical, but it brings them one step closer to your side of the negotiation. If you hit a wall in the conversation, O'Connor and Seymour suggest phrases like, "under what circumstances would you be prepared to give way on this?" However this is only a base-line phrase, which is best modified for your particular situation. If you're trying to negotiate a raise, but your employer isn't budging, a good question might be "under what circumstances would you be willing to give me a raise?" This will force your employer to spell out the criteria necessary to giving you a raise. In the earlier example of a couple, where one wants to spend the night doing gym and the other wants to watch the game, the question might read "under what circumstances would you be willing to go to gym with me?" To which their spouse might reply, "I'd go just about any time so long as the game isn't on!"

6. Beware of intimidation tactics:
Some people like to use intimidation tactics in negotiation, and will use challenging phrases like "Really? That's your reasoning?" "That's it? That's what you're going with?" These types of phrases can be used to make almost any reasoning sound stupid. The worst thing you can do in this situation is scramble to provide additional reasoning. Doing so will make it seem as though you are not confident in your previous points, and will ultimately replace what may have been a strong initial argument with flimsy new points that, in all likelihood, you just came up with on the spot.
Instead, the best thing to do here is to stand strong in the position you have already asserted. Calmly use phrases like "Of course that's my reasoning." or "Yup—that's the only reason I need." If someone explicitly challenges your reasoning, instead of providing a reasonable counter argument, chances are they've resorted to grasping at straws with loose questions designed to intimidate. The trick here, is to make it seem silly that they even asked.

Image sourcing: stanford.edu,  wikipedia.org,  iteso.mx
Article Source: ThePlaidZebra

Story: I lost 50 currency notes somewhere on the road!

Health: Signs Your Body Needs Detoxification

Is sugar controlling your life?
Is your body in toxic overload?
It doesn't take much to figure
out that most of us are in need
of a detox - our bodies and
minds are suffering from
overindulgence and exhaustion.
Maybe it's time to make a change.

Signs of toxic overloaded:


• Skin conditions – When the liver can’t cope any extra toxins are
pushed out into the lymphatic system and then
affect the skin
e.g. acne, eczema, psoriasis, rashes, dull skin


• Low energy –
Many people feel sluggish and tired all the time,
but just put it down to old age.


• Poor liver function –
indigestion, increased intolerances to many kinds
of food, bad hangovers, gas, bloating. Also constipation or lose bowels.


• Hormonal issues –
PMS (fluid retention, sore breasts,
period pain, skin breakouts)


• Headaches


• Muscle and joint aches and pains


• Increased allergies and sensitivities


If you have any of the above
symptoms, your system
could benefit greatly from
a whole food detox.

Story: The Army Guy's Nice Gesture

​"My husband and I were in the ER and an elderly lady was wheeled out to leave. She told the receptionist she had no family or ride home. I was saddened to see some (not all) of the employees lack of concern as to how she would get home. 

All of the sudden this AMAZING gentleman who had been waiting with his wife approached the lady and told her he would gladly take her home. This man not knowing her or having a clue where she lived volunteered his time to care of this lovely woman. She offered to pay but he kindly declined like any good man would. As he went to get his truck I wheeled her out and put her in the vehicle. 

As I watched them drive away my only thoughts were 'there are still great people in this world' 'and 'We have to care for our elders like this nice man.' I did get a little info from his wife. His name is Jeffery and he is military man here. Not only does this man serve our great country, he serves his great little community. I just wanted to give a little recognition and respect to this man. 
Jeffery, if you see this, just know your deeds are recognized and appreciated by your community. Thank you Sir for serving our country and our community."

#LoveWhatMatters

Credit: Ashley Cherry

Success Story - Fred Smith | Federal Express

FredSmith_FedEx_YS


Fred Smith was an undergraduate at Yale University in 1965. As part of the coursework, he wrote an economics paper exploring the process of transportation of goods in the United States. He found that the shippers relied on transporting large packages across the United States by means of truck or passenger airplanes. Smith thought of a more efficient transportation idea. He wrote a last minute paper on how a company carrying small, essential items by plane could be a much better business. He, however, did not go into details about how to actually run such a company. His paper was graded "C". But Smith did not give up on the idea and launched the company in 1971.

But within three years of the founding of the company, Federal Express was on the verge of bankruptcy. It was losing over $1 million a month, due to the rising fuel costs. At its zenith, the company had just $5000 to its name. Smith made a final pitch to General Dynamics for more funding. The request was turned down.

Most ordinary people would have quit at this point and shut down the company. Not Fred Smith. What he did next is easily the boldest move by the founder of a company. Smith flew to Las Vegas and played Black Jack that weekend with the remaining company funds. Read 300+ stories on DailyTenMinutes.com  Yes, all of the $5000. On Monday, the management of the company had a pleasant surprise lined up. FedEx had $32,000 in its bank account, which was just enough to cover the fuel for their planes and to continue operating a few days more.

Soon after, the company was able to raise significant amounts in funding. Today FedEx is a global giant with operations in more than 220 countries and territories and an annual revenue of US $45 billion
Source: YourStory


5 Things to Take Care of When Out for a Safari Ride

Going on a safari is a once in a lifetime experience. If you ever get a chance to do it, you definitely don’t want to say ‘no’. It can be a moving experience and teach you a thing or two about appreciating the world around us.

The thing to remember is that safari rides are not like your average camping trips. You need to keep a few things in mind before you travel – by taking care of these five things, you can guarantee a joyful experience.

Plan your trip meticulously


Don’t just hop into a car and go for the ride, but plan your safari trip well. If you are taking a guided tour, you want to know how long the trip will be, what sort of route are you taking and if there are any special things you need to bring with you.

On the other hand, if you are driving in your own car, you need to make sure you plan the route well. Pick the spots for pausing and have an idea of what things you want to see – and what is the best way to see them.

Planning will also help with ensuring you get to take the right photos. You should prepare your camera – don’t start changing lenses while you are driving. If you want to be extra safe, always bring an external hard drive for photos and have a backup camera with you – just in case!

Know when to travel


Not all safaris are alike and you can go for a night, morning, day and evening safaris – both organised and self-driven. In all these safaris, you might end up seeing a very different set of animals. It’s a good idea to look for the things you are hoping to see and to understand when is the best time to travel and see them. You can contact the safari organisers for more ideas and information.

Furthermore, the location of the safari and its route might also provide you with a view of different animals. Some routes go near big areas of water, while others might be located more on the savannah. Again, it’s important to learn what kind of animals you are expected to see on which tour to ensure you pick a tour that matches your dream trip.

Understand the animals are not tamed


Wild animals are not just crazy and out to get you, but it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t attack if they feel threatened. You need to understand these animals are not tamed – if you are travelling with children, it is especially important to ensure they understand this fact.

You should read up on the safety features in a safari. Essentially, you need to know what you must do in case the animal would attack (don’t just randomly flee!). On an organised safari, you will have the guide to help you so this is especially important when driving without a guide.

Prepare for some hiccups


You will, hopefully, have a wonderful time at your safari ride, but things don’t always go to plan. It’s important you are prepared for the hiccups to ensure they don’t end up ruining your party.

For a self-sustained ride, the key is to make sure you have a car repair kit in case of flat tyres and the like. You can find great offers from brands like Kwik Fit. You also want to add a small emergency kit to your car – just some painkillers, a blanket, plasters and some anti-bacterial liquids.

In an organised safari ride, you still want a few items with you. Essentially, a backup battery for your camera and phone, some water to drink and perhaps a snack to ensure you don’t get too hungry if the trip takes longer.

In both occasions, the key is to be flexible and patient. Things can happen on a safari and you don’t want to get agitated just because you need to sit in a car a bit longer than you initially thought.

Remember to relax and enjoy


It might sound like an odd thing to consider, but you need to remember to relax and enjoy the ride. Don’t add too many expectations on your safari trip – such as seeing the Big Five – or think it will be something very specific. There are all sorts of experiences and each experience is just as valuable. You will enjoy it more if you just show up with an open mind and see what happens. Remember that you can always just go again if you want!

So, if you are planning to go on a safari car ride, keep the above things in mind. They will help you prepare for the trip and to have a safer and happier experience.

Converting Deserts Into Fertile Agricultural Land

The United Nations Convention aims to put a stop to the growing desertification across the world. In its road map to combat desertification, it has marked the Inner Mongolian city of Erdos as its first destination.

In 2002, China passed a law which stands as the world’s first law aimed at combating the expansion of deserts.
This law has resulted in China carrying out several projects to pursue its aim. One of the major projects executed by China as part of its agenda was in a desert in northern China.

North China’s Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region

Despite little to no rain and scorching temperatures, a desert in North China’s Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region is home to more than 70 crops.
In just six months, more than 200 hectares of this desert have been covered with crops such as corn, tomatoes and sorghum as well as sunflowers.
“According to our calculation, there are over 70 kinds of crops growing here. Many are not planted by us but they just grow themselves,” said Zhao Chaohua, Associate Professor of Chongqing Jiaotong University.

New Technology

This remarkable achievement of turning a desert into a crop field has become possible because of a paste developed by scientists.
This revolutionary paste consists of substances found in plant cell walls. When added to the sand, the paste enables the sand to retain water, nutrients and air.
In short, it can make deserts become agricultural lands again where farmers can grow crops and earn their livelihood!
“The costs of artificial materials and machines for transforming sand into soil is lower compared with controlled environmental agriculture and reclamation,” Yang Qingguo, professor at Chongqing Jiaotong University said.

Future Goals

The research team has great aims, and plans on transforming an additional 200 hectares of the desert. Hopefully in a few years it will have transformed 13,000 hectares of land.
By 2030, United Nations is aiming to reach zero growth of desert farmland around the world.
This new method seems promising and the country hopes to reclaim 50 percent of the degraded land in three years. China’s experiment to covert sand into soil seems promising in making the land fertile.

Via CGTN America

The Tree Test for People in Your Life



I have t
his tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever...They­ are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:

LEAF PEOPLE
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can't be angry at them, it's just who they are.

BRANCH PEOPLE
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it's possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it's tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can't handle too much weight. But again, you can't be mad with them, it's just who they are.

ROOT PEOPLE
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don't let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.

Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people's lives?

THANK GOD FOR THE ROOTS!



Your Conscience is Your Great Companion
Becoming a Better Judge of People
18 Ways to Improve Body Language
14 Strategies for better decision making
10 Tips to Improve Interpersonal Relation
How Can I Develop Analytical Skills 
10 Tips for Sleeping Better 
15 Tips to Give Up to be Happy 
How Can I Be Strong in Hard Moments?
How Can I Build Trust To Empower Relationship

12 Ways You Can Declutter You Home!


 

Nowadays, the average American has as much individual space in their home as an entire 1950s family shared. Therefore, you’d think these bigger houses could cope with all our possessions, but there are now actually more self-storage facilities in America than McDonald’s restaurants.

However, at the same time, research suggests that Americans are more depressed now than they have been in decades. Therefore, material goods clearly don’t build happiness, so maybe minimalism is the best way to go. Below you will find 12 ways to declutter your home and life.

1. Write Down Your Reasons for Decluttering
This list will help you get started and keep you on track throughout your decluttering process. Some of your reasons might include feeling less stressed, saving money, having more time to spend with friends and family, or simply having a nicer home.

2. Decide on the Value of Your ItemsMinimalism isn’t all about getting rid of excess possessions, it’s also about choosing to give more weight to those you value the most. Once you have decided which items you cannot part with, and those which you feel more comfortable getting rid of, you can begin the process of actually letting go.

3. Set up a Charity Box Get a big box and fill it with those items that you no longer use, or those which you value the least. Donate this box to a charity store – you’ll be helping the environment too as producing new items to meet demands wastes energy and water, and contributes to pollution.


4. Sort out Your Wardrobe

Choose 30 items of clothing that will see you through the next 3 months and donate or store the rest. Pick classic, neutral pieces, and you’ll never be stuck for something to wear. Even better, choosing your outfit every morning will be a lot easier.





5. Dump the “Just in Case” Stuff
Things such as random screws, buttons, pieces of strings, the remains of insulation tape and all those other junk items you’ve been hoarding “just in case” have got to go! Try the 20/20 rule – if you can replace it for $20, and can buy it within 20 minutes of your home, then you can get rid of it knowing that it’s easily replaceable.

6. Digitize Everything While the digital age can sometimes add clutter to our lives, it can also be a great minimalist tool. Embrace technology and get rid of that pile of paper on your desk. If you have a filing cabinet, you can scan all your important documents, and then get rid of the cabinet. Digitize your old photos and they’ll be safe forever – backed up on an online storage system.

7. Borrow, Don’t BuyIf you need something for a one-off event, such as a party, ask friends or neighbors for extra tableware and equipment. If you happen to be a bookworm, you would benefit from joining a book club or a library.

8. Buy Experiences, Not ThingsInstead of treating yourself to some new shoes or an expensive perfume, invest in an experience. This will help you make memories that will last far longer than your average pair of shoes.

9. The “One in, One out” RuleIf you really must buy something new, then get rid of something old. This way you’re guaranteed not to slip back into your old, clutter-filled ways.

10. Quality over QuantityIt’s much better to have one good quality pair of shoes than to have four pairs of mediocre shoes. Even though better-quality items will cost more, they look better, work more effectively, and last longer than lower quality items, meaning they work out cheaper over time.

11. Vow to Get Rid of One Item Every Day Getting rid of one item every day means that come the end of the year you’ll have 365 less things to worry about.

12. Use Multi-Purpose ProductsA great and simple way to keep your house decluttered is to keep multi-purpose items on hand. Take coconut oil for example. This can be used for cooking and baking, as a coffee creamer, as furniture polish, moisturizer, toothpaste, and so much more.

Let Her

When she takes time to select a dish from the menu, let her.
Every day, for every meal she has prepared she has given her time to think about what to make, how much, and for whom.

 
When she takes time to dress up to go out with you, let her.
She has given her time to make sure that your ironed clothes are in their place and knows better than you, where your socks are. She has dressed up her child thoughtfully, to look like the most smartly dressed up child around.


When she takes time to relax mindlessly, let her.
She is only half concentrating and has a clock ticking in her head. As soon as it's nearing dinner time, you'll see her disappear to get things ready.


When she takes time to serve you breakfast, let her.
 
She has kept aside the burnt toast for herself and is taking the time to serve her family the nicest ones she could manage.

 
When she takes time after her tea, to just sit by the window and stare into nothingness, let her.
It's her life, she's given you countless hours of her life. Let her take a few minutes for herself.

 
She's rushing through her life, giving chunks of her time whenever needed, wherever needed.
Don't rush her more than she rushes herself.
Don't push her harder than she pushes herself.

8 Things Couples Should Do Daily


Certain rituals that we follow in life, like a wedding, make us slow down and have deeper, more profound life experiences. Such experiences help us celebrate the good times and heal from the bad. But once we take these major milestones, we often fail to follow through. Our marriage, for instance, also needs rituals to deal with trying times and to increase the passion and aliveness in our intimate relationship. It's amazing to think what miraculous things can happen between a couple when new positive, behavior patterns are developed. Here are 8 things you can try:


1. Before you get started on your busy day, take a moment to cuddle in bed. This need not last long, even a minute will do. But starting your day like this really sets the tone of your intimate relationship.

2. If you spend most of your day apart, pause a few times during your workday to text or call your partner. This lets them know that you are thinking of them. You can be humorous, flirtatious, or just plain interested in what is happening in your partner's world.

3. Spend 10 minutes talking about your feelings every day or evening. During these 10 minutes, focus on one another's inner experiences rather than each other's to-do list. Don't use these 10 minutes to make plans but rather to explore the pain that either person may be experiencing. It's also a good opportunity to talk about pleasant feelings as well.

4. Always make it a point to kiss your partner good-bye. Before heading out of the door, be sure to never leave the house without kissing your significant other and wishing them well.


5. Leave each other notes in unexpected places. It's incredible what a world of good a simple post-it can do to a relationship. Keep it simple and speak honestly. You may even have forgotten you wrote it by the time your lover may find it, possibly months later, and it will delight you both.
6. Thank your partner regularly. No matter how small, be sure to thank your partner for all the tiny ways they make your life better, be it by doing a load of laundry, unloading the dishwasher or simply being there.

7. Apologize when necessary. We all make mistakes, and we all have our shortcomings but saying I'm sorry means a lot, even if the crime is relatively minor.

8. Spend every moment you can touching your partner tenderly. If you wake up to drink or go to the bathroom at night, take a second to touch your partner tenderly when you get back to bed, even if its for a brief moment, or you're semi-conscious. It doesn't matter if they are sleeping, they'll register the affection on some level.

Train Your Brain to Be More Optimistic!

optimism

Should you accept your glass-half-empty attitude? Certainly not. A positive outlook has been linked to a load of health benefits, so being more optimistic is definitely worth trying. In fact, high levels of optimism are associated with higher levels of happiness and less depression. Some studies also indicate that greater optimism is associated with a longer life. 
The effects of positive thinking go beyond making people feel better. Taking an optimistic approach usually allows people to act in a better way and achieve positive results in times of adversity.
 
The effects of optimism on the body
Optimistic people tend to exert more efforts. They are more willing to give something new a try, or keep working towards a solution. Pessimistic people, on the other hand, tend to give up easily. Optimistic people also tend to shrug off stress, according to a study published in Trends in Cognitive Sciences. Consequently, this helps decrease their levels of stress hormones like cortisol. 
Elevated cortisol levels can cause inflammation which is linked to all sorts of serious health issues ranging from cancer to depression. So, it's easy to see how a positive attitude could have big-time health benefits on an individual.
What to do? Picture yourself as an optimist
Research has linked something called positive imagery with increased levels of optimism. A 2007 study published in Nature found that thinking happy thoughts, or imagining positive future outcomes, activates the part of the brain linked with positive emotion and stress-reduction. Furthermore, envisioning a happier future can help people disengage from any bad situations that are happening in the present
This idea is backed up by research. In fact, based on their analysis of 29 studies and more than 3,330 individuals, Malouff and his colleagues found that thinking about your best positive self and then creating a plan for creating that self is the most effective way to increase your levels of optimism. This idea has also been approved by other experts
According to a study in the Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, people who spent just five minutes a day thinking about their best possible selves increased their positivity by an average of 17%. Adding to this, they also enjoyed a significant drop in negative thoughts and outlook.
 
optimism
Getting started with positive imagery
So, how do you get started? Start by focusing on the far future, thinking about the best possible outcomes of your social life, your life at home and your career. Sit down and for 20 minutes write in detail about these happy outcomes - what your life would look like, what goals you would have met and how you would feel about yourself. 
Then, just spend five minutes each day imagining that you've achieved everything you wrote down, without reading what you wrote. Just try to imagine what your life would look like if all those things came true. Do this and see your levels of optimism soar.