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Story: Complaining with No Intention of Solution

Complaint Without Desiring A Solution

One day Mr Nazir reached the post office and spoke very seriously; 'I would like to register a complaint.' Post master asked eagerly; 'What is your problem?'

"For three days my wife is not at home. You must search for her and find out." Post Master cooled himself down and said; "Mr Nazir, you are supposed to give this complaint in the police station. Look, just at the other side of the road, there is the police station."

Nazir was very angry. He said; "I know that the complaint is to be filed in the police station. But I would like to give this complaint here."

Post Master was in a dilemma. He told Nazir, "We have no right or power to search for a missing person. That's up to the Police. Therefore you should give a complaint in the police station. They will find out your wife."

"It is because of the same reason, that I will never give a complaint there. Last time when she left from the house, I was thinking of having some leisure time free from all trouble. But neighbors forced me to find her out and I filed a complaint in the police station. They found my wife and brought her home. This time too, the neighbors are forcing me to give a complaint. Therefore you should help me.

Receive this complaint here. If anyone asks me of giving the complaint, I could give them a positive answer. No one may ask where I have given the complaint. If I give a complaint in the police station, they may find out my wife. Let me live happily, at least for a month. After that I myself will find her out."

——————— ———————

The reason for giving a complaint is solving the problem. But sometimes as Nazir  we complaint without desiring a solution. Some people complain of sickness most of the times. It is a painful fact that at times they prefer to remain sick. Their aim is to get sympathy from others. They may have an inner thirst for love, care, consideration and appreciation from others.

People use sickness to cover up their failures and irresponsibility. Whatever medication or whoever be the doctor their sickness remains unhealed. Because they are not eager to lead a healthy life.

The spiritual aridity of many lies in the fact that they search for blessings but not the one who gives the blessings. Many are worried of the sins they commit, but prefer to enjoy the pleasures of sin. They may not eagerly thirst for a holy life. We are attracted to what we desire. For those who search God with whole mind and heart, He will reveal Himself. We are yet to learn to search God with whole heart, mind and soul.

Source



Lesson from Frog


Human Beings and frogs are the two creatures in nature who have tremendous power to adjust. Put a frog in a vessel of water and start heating the water. As the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly. The frog keeps on adjusting with increase in temperature. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore. At that point the frog decides to jump out. The frog tries to jump but is unable to do so, because it lost all its strength in adjusting with the water temperature. Very soon the frog dies.

What killed the frog? Many of us would say the boiling water.

But the truth is what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump out.

We all need to adjust with people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to face. There are times when we need to face the situation and take the appropriate action.

If we allow people to exploit us physically, emotionally or financially, they will continue to do so. We have to decide when to jump. Let us jump while we still have the strength!

 

Junaid Tahir 
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

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Story: Chicken, Chicken, Chicken


By Junaid Tahir


Colleague Faisal is a person who prefers to stay alone. He is kind of introvert person who does not mingles well with people. On Sunday noon time, he opens his lunch box and eats fried chicken which makes him feel good. On Monday noon, he opens the lunch box and eats fried chicken again. This time he does not like it as much as he did yesterday. On Tuesday, at lunch time, he opens the lunch box and finds fried chicken which he eats but this time I can see irritation in his mood. Well, next comes the Wednesday, and guess what, he has fried chicken in his lunch box. He is annoyed to see fried chicken on fourth consecutive day but eats it without saying any words of complaint. On Thursday, just before the lunch break I converse:


"Most likely, you have fried chicken today"
"Yes"
"Why don't you ask your wife to give you something else for food which can keep your body healthy"
"I am unmarried, I pack my lunch myself"
"What !!! XoYz%*&%$O %$##  !@#%% "

Flash:This story might look strange but this is how we give mental food to our brains on daily basis. If we co-relate this story with a bad event of the past which we remember again and again, we are giving a special food called "Stress" to our mind on daily basis. Considering the fact that eating fried chicken on daily basis can lead our cholesterol levels towards danger zone causing chronic heart disease, can't we just think with common sense that giving stress to our brain and heart we are seriously impacting our body developing Sugar, High Blood Pressure, Heart blockage, Asthma, Anxiety and God know how many other diseases in the long run !!!

So the choice is ours. Either we keep feeding your brain the germs of negativity and stress  OR develop the power of not looking back and start living in today. Remember the fact that life never stops. People who live in their past, stop living in earth – or simple die soon. So we must exert our energies to bring something positive and fruitful today which can bring happiness in our life or in our loved ones' lives. About the problems we should develop the MGTD attitude: which means Meet them (confess the situation with no fear), Greet them (think positively), Treat them (focus on solution) and finally Defeat them (do practical things for eradication).



About Author: Junaid Tahir is a passionate blogger. He writes articles on Leadership, Stress Management and Life Enhancement subjects at his personal blog DailyTenMinutes


How to Improve Your Excel Database Management Skills


By Junaid Tahir
I have summarized the most common mistakes professionals do for managing their excel databases at work place. Also I have summarized some suggestions in order to
the usage of Excel capabilities. Attached excel file contains practical examples for each point mentioned below:

1-     Cells merger is strictly not allowed for professional databases. Merged cells prevent automatic reports generation, formula reference errors, data automation and several other limitations.
2-    Cell formatting should be applied on each column. As an example if Column-A is dedicated for 'dates' then no other format (text, number etc) should be allowed. This can be controlled by Drop Down menus or Data Validation Tool of Excel.
3-    Control Multiple Entries strictly. If this is unavoidable then use unique naming conventions to clearly identify the second entry. For example Microwave, Microwave_UAE, Microwave_KSA etc. Use Cell Highlight Rules to identify duplicate entries or use Data Validation to generate pop up message for the user.
4-    No blank row or column should be left in the database. This ensures data's integrity.
5-    Using sensible and logical words. For example under the column PAC status if I write "Done" or "In process" it may have multiple meanings such as "Permission applied" "Permission reviewed" "Permission approved" "Permission reviewed" 
6-    Use uniform and symmetrical information. If you want to differentiate two values you can either use "/" or "," but not both. Also swapped information to be avoided such as Copies/Pen/Markers andMarkers/Pen/Copies and Pen/Markers/Copies
7-    Use Trim function to remove extra spaces from your entries.
8-    Do not use a lot of colors as it does not look professional specially if it is required to be sent to management
9-    File name should be relevant (New tracker.xls, book1.xls, latest update.xls are NOT appropriate words)
Bonus Tips:
1-     Pivot Tables is one the most powerful tools of Excel which can generate multi dimensional reports within seconds however it not used by many professionals. Pivot report should be applied right from the start of new database creation. So that the database owner understands its working philosophy and organize the database accordingly. Read this Super Article on Pivots
2-    Automation should be done as much as possible. This can be done using Formulae (If, count, sum, vlookup, clean tools of Excel). Data automation reduces the chances of error to a great extent. Also, use data validation to inform the user about what information is required to be filled in.
3-    vLookUp: This is one of the most powerful tool to extrat data from multiple columns and files. Read this article on vLookUp
4-    Begin with the End in Mind. What reports the management is looking for. Can you generate the reports with-in seconds or you have to do manual work to generate the report? 

- If you would like to improve your Excel Tips, I highly recommend you join this online forum 
- If you would like to receive the Excel file containing basis elaboration of above points, please drop me a line so I can respond. 

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About Author: Junaid Tahir is a passionate blogger. He writes articles on Leadership, Stress Management and Life Enhancement subjects at his personal blog

10 Interview Questions Designed To Trick You


Hiring managers are tasked with the impossible job of learning a candidate inside and out after just a few interactions. That's why they're always coming up with new tactics to extract every last drop of information from a candidate. It's important to keep your guard up!  You can almost be sure some of the questions asked will be "interview traps" – interview questions designed to get you to reveal some critical bit of information about yourself that you might have preferred to remain covered. They come in many forms, but all have the common goal of getting you to expose some character flaw that will bump you down a few rungs in the rankings.

Hold it together! Here are 10 of the most popular "interview traps" and tips on how to use them to your advantage.

The setup: Why is there a gap in your work history?

The trap: Does all this time off work mean you're lazy?

It's not necessarily a problem to have a gap on your resume. If you pursued personal projects, took care of a sick relative, volunteered for charity or otherwise used your time off in a productive manner, let them know. They don't care that you haven't spent any recent time in an office – only that you haven't spent it all on the couch.

The setup: What would the person who likes you least in the world say about you?

The trap: Are you aware of your own weaknesses – and how to work around them?

A cousin to "what's your biggest weakness?," this question also requires framing your dominant personality traits in a positive light. Perhaps your enemy would say you're neurotic and controlling, when in fact you just have a completionist's eye for detail, which will ensure no project is finished until all loose ends are tied and re-tied for peace of mind.

The setup: Describe when you were part of a team that could not get along.

The trap: Do you work well with people you don't like?

No matter whose fault it actually was, the interviewer will assume you can't work well with others if you complain about a dysfunctional team buried in your work history. What matters to them is how you handled the situation – did you allow room for discussions and ideas you may not have agreed with? Did you learn any lessons about give-and-take from clashing with a coworker?

The setup: If you could change one thing about your last job, what would it be?

The trap: Are you holding on to any lingering issues you couldn't resolve at your last job?

Can you vocalize your problems in a professional manner and come to a diplomatic understanding with your coworkers / bosses? This question tests whether you let problems stew and boil over, or whether you can address them rationally with the benefit of a positive work environment in mind.

The setup: Explain ________ (your industry) to your nephew / grandmother / totally oblivious client.

The trap: Sure, you know your line of work – but can you communicate your responsibilities to others?

Are you a good communicator? As a developer, can you explain how the newest product feature operates in a way that the marketing team can process, so they can in turn pitch it to customers? If you can't explain your job duties in plain English, you probably aren't well-versed enough in the field to effectively communicate your needs to the coworkers you will interact with on a daily basis.

The setup: Tell me about yourself.

The trap: Are you lying on your resume? Are you confident you're qualified for this job?

Don't meander. This also tests your communication skills – whether you know how to pitch, and whether you know when to stop talking. Succinctly list education history, skills gained from previous jobs, and perhaps a personal project or two which enhances your skill set and demonstrates motivation outside of the workplace. Then, stop talking. Rambling indicates a lack of confidence, suggesting you're not sure whether what you've listed is "enough" to qualify you for the job.

The setup: Why should we hire you?

The trap: Are you a good fit for this specific role and company?

If you can't answer this question, you probably didn't research the company you're trying to work for. Make sure you know the specific functions your future role will entail, and the short- and long-term goals of the organization itself. Then, frame your skills in a context which aligns with the job description and the company's direction.

It also doesn't hurt to research the hiring board to find out what makes them tick, so you can carry the conversation if they mention a project from their background.

The setup: What's your ideal job?

The trap: …Is it something other than this one?

It's okay to have career aspirations, so long as the things you want to do overlap with the things you'll be doing here. Avoid mentioning a title – it may not carry the clout in this company's role structure that you think it does. Instead, discuss the problems you'd like to solve, platforms you want to work with, and other active engagements that encompass both your dream work and the work in front of you.

The setup: What annoys you about coworkers / bosses?

The trap: Are you easy to work with, or are you a Negative Nancy?

It's never a good idea to badmouth a coworker, whether peer or superior. It's best to say you've been fortunate to navigate amicable work relationships. If pressed, mention an attribute that highlights dedication to the company cause, and say that you will expect and encourage that same dedication from your peers.

The setup: If you won the lottery, would you still work?

The trap: Are you motivated to succeed?

Most people know this question aims to trap candidates for whom work is merely a means to an end, rather than a passion to which they will be dedicated. But it's also facetious to say you'd stay in your current position if you were to be blessed with such fortunes. It's perfectly acceptable to say you'd start your own company, charity or project to further your personal development. This question really gets at whether you're naturally inclined to work, so make sure those imaginary piles of cash would enable some form of future productivity

http://smarterer.com/blog/2012/10/16/its-a-trap-10-interview-questions-designed-trick-you/?othersrcp=15675&wExp=N

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The Importance of Open Communication

Open communication is vital in every relationship. Having an open communication between parents and children is one of the best thing in life. Sharing feelings, thoughts and ideas binds them more, strengthens their love and widens understanding though they are apart. It is not too late yet if you are not used to it, you could start practicing good communication with your loved ones today. And, if you are consistent to it definitely everything will follow.


 
Parents plans and do everything that is best for their children. So, even if they do not ask their children to return the favor for all their cares, their children usually thinks what is best for their parents especially by the time that they are no longer staying with their parents and cannot immediately respond to their parents needs as much as they love to. Elderly care topics like finding the right nursing home or in-home health care and other relevant topics for elderly needs could easily be tackled to parents though they are still on their productive and active age if there is an open communication between parents and children.


Having a great relationship and good communication with your parents with the assurance of your care though you will be miles apart in the future and opening the elderly care topics with them as early as possible will open their minds and let them understand better of their future needs. They could even help you choose of the right facilities for their future needs like nursing homes that offers great nursing home services.
 
 
To find a nursing home or a great facility that they could feel at home with while all their needs are being catered is a great achievement not just to children but to the seniors as well. If your parents sense that you care and love them and your plans is for their best, for them to live a healthy, happy and longer lives, these will act as their motivators to be on state that you want them to be and, will love and understand you more. Open communication between children and parents especially when parents are on their senior years is much more needed than any other stages in life, hope everyone will understand its importance.

____________

M Junaid Tahir 

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How to respond in tragic moments




By Junaid Tahir
Life is a superb gift of God which is a mixture of pleasing, colorful, cheerful, but sometimes sad and tragic moments. Several people complain that life is not a piece of cake but let me respond that it is our attitude which defines the degree of our happiness in our lives. This is not my personal feedback rather there is a known fact that 20% of life is what happens to us and 80% of life is how we react back. Did you get the idea? No? let us understand it more.

Assume, you woke up in the morning and found out that you forgot to purchase the tooth paste yesterday. What now? You have two options:
1-    Start blaming yourself, turning yourself into bad mood, quarreling with your wife or kids and later with colleagues, consequently ruining your whole day because of the tooth paste event OR 
2-   Ignoring this issue and move on with your day as a normal one. (you can either chew a mint bubble or just rinsing with mouth wash or simply follow 'the wow approach' to freshen up)http://paradigmwisdom.blogspot.com/2011/06/wow-approach.html 

Off course, option-2 is more beneficial to you. And by the way, if you adopt option-1 and face all the bad things, you are not going to resolve this issue UNTIL you go to the market and purchase a new tooth paste. So would it be wise to consider option-1? Off course not!
Well, I have given a very basic example for elaboration but trust me you can set the same attitude to address even complex problems in your life by not letting any events or people steal your peace of mind. Remember, no one is in charge of your happiness EXCEPT you!

And to be honest with you, I had a tragic day today because I lost some thousand dollars and trust me I am pretty much relaxed. I shall do what needs to be done to get the money back. And if I don't get it back, I am fine with that as well BUT I have made sure that my emotions remain under control so that my personal and family life is not impacted due to any possible reactive approach. J


Story - The coffee


He met her at someone's wedding. He requested her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, "Please, let me go home..." 

Suddenly he asked the waiter, "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, "Why you have this hobby?" He replied, "When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there." While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home... Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. 

That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it. 

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said, "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life's lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything... Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste... But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again." 
Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her, "What's the taste of salty coffee?" She replied, "It's sweet." 
Its a lil bit unrealistic story but the moral and the message of the story is wonderful :)


 

Junaid Tahir 
www.DailyTenMinutes.com

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Frequent Mood Swings Indicate your unstable personality

 


In a particular day, you may pass through several mood swings depending upon your circumstances. For instance you are sad, or happy, irritated, annoyed, stressful, depressed, cheerful or angry at different moments of time. As long as you are happy, everyone around you is fine with that however if you have a lot of mood swings in terms of being irritated, annoyed, sad, angry, reactive or stubborn it becomes a challenge for others to move along with you. Because of your swift mood swings your personality becomes unpredictable. The more unpredictable you become for others, the more likely you have the chance to lose your respect within your friends, family and colleagues.

So how to control these mood swings? Below are some points which you need to ponder on:
1-    Analyze yourself on what are the triggers which cause your mood swings? is this an event, or comment or act or presence of a person?  Fix the problem or start loving it. 
2-   Respect the fact that every single soul is a unique in terms of thinking and acting. You cannot order people to follow your way of thinking and living. Relax. Give respect to earn respect. It takes two hands to clap.
3-   Write down your triggers on a paper. You will notice that your problem is not that much big!
4-   Discuss your issue with the person and find out a solution. Be flexible. You may not be right in your demands or you may be completely wrong in your demands. Be honest,analytical and logical while you share your comments and desires.
5-   Observe others on how they react in different kind of circumstances. Find out a mentor in your life you can follow. Or even you can observe everyone because everyone has something to teach you. Closely observe. 
6-   Avoid taking stress. The more you take stress the more you lose control on your emotions and become unpredictable. Read my article on Stress by clicking here  and clicking here 
7-   Develop Trust in your relations so that people feel easy to get along with you.

What are your thoughts in controlling your mood swings? 

Article written by Junaid Tahir
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Story: The Dog in the Well


In old times, there was a village having only one well for drinking water. One day a dog fell down in the well and died. The water became filthy and undrinkable.  The worried villagers went to the old wise man for advice. They were told to take 100 buckets of water from the well so that clean water come to the surface of the well. The villagers took 100 buckets but water status was same. They went to the wise man again. He suggested to take another 100 buckets. The villagers did the same but to no avail. They villagers tried third time to take another 100 buckets as per the advice from the wise man but water was still impure. The wise said, How come the whole well is polluted even removing this much considerable amount of water. Did you remove the dog body prior to taking 300 buckets of water? The villagers said, "no sir, you only advised us to take water out, not the dog body !!!"

Reflection:

Several times in life we try to resolve our problems without considering the root cause of the problems. We believe that we are resolving the problem whereas in actual we are working on the side effects of problem not the problem itself. We don't see the big picture to understand the root of the issue.  We take advice from our well wishers but do not use our brain to think logically to analyze the advice and then decideinstead, we start acting blindly on the solutions suggested by others.

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