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8 Steps to Anger Management for Kids

8 Steps to Anger Management for Kids
Do your kids make you feel like an ogre when you set limits? Does the word "no" kick off whining, yelling and protests?  How many times have you heard your nine-year-old say something like: "That's not fair! Brandon's mom lets him watch Sons of Anarchy!"  Or does this sound familiar:  "Jessica's dad lets her stay out 'til 10 on school nights! Why can't you?"
"It's important to help your child look at what was happening and what they were thinking that triggered their angry response."
It can be hard to know sometimes if the limits you set are reasonable or not, especially when your kids are howling that "everyone else is allowed to do it!"On top of that, how do you know that the limits you set even work? Whether you are just beginning to set limits, or are adjusting your limits to match your child's unique needs and developmental changes, here are some tips to make setting limits, and feeling confident about those limits, easier.
  1. Start from your values. Be clear about the values you want to instill in your family. If eating dinner together at home is important, make that an expectation. If treating people fairly is essential, make sure your limits support that. Knowing that your limits are based on your values helps during those times when your child pushes back and says you're the worst parent in the world. You'll find it easier to resist giving in to that argument.
  2. Communicate the limits. Try saying to your child something like, "Things are going to change, and you can expect that dad and I will deal with your behavior differently." Or, "Now that you're older, we need to have some rules about going to parties."  Then let your child know the limits and the consequences for either following or not following the rules. Be clear and specific. This is not a one-time event, but rather a process that will likely take repeated refresher discussions along the way.
  3. Monitor how your child responds. What did your child do? Not immediately, because change is a process and takes time, but over time.  Are you able to observe some improvement in behavior, even if it's slight? For instance, you set curfew for your teen, and at first he didn't seem to care.  But when you started to take the car keys away, he began to come home closer and closer to the curfew.  Now he is routinely coming in on time.

    For younger kids, it may be helpful to have a chart or calendar where behaviors are recorded.  Kids often like to participate in this activity, especially if they get to put the sticker on the chart for behaving correctly. For older kids, charting behavior helps them get a better perspective on their ability to change over time.  Even if they had a terrible day yesterday, they can see that they've been doing so much better during the past few weeks, and so there's hope for continued success.
  4. Be matter-of-fact. Try not to personalize the misbehavior. If your child starts to feel the power to "hurt" you with his misbehavior, this can easily lead to manipulative behavior. Instead, focus on the behavior and your child's need to change. Help them understand that the misbehavior is hurtful to them and worth changing. If you are angry, wait to talk with your child until your anger has cooled.  You can say, "I'm not ready to talk with you right now.  I'll talk with you when I am. Just wait".
  5. Be prepared. Do you sometimes just react to your child's misbehavior, handing down whatever punishment happens to come to mind?  Instead, try sitting down and calmly thinking about what behavior you are trying to target.  Then you can think more clearly about what consequence would be most effective in promoting change.  Develop a list of meaningful consequences in a quiet moment. You know your kids best, what they hold near and dear. Consequences are most impactful when your child really cares either about avoiding the loss of something (computer time, going to her friends overnight, the car, the concert) or about gaining something (time with dad, a hiking trip with friends, an overnight, the car, a concert).

    Remember, it's important for both parents to share any plan that is developed and be on the same page, or at least be willing to support each other in the process.
  6. Consequences need time limits. You need to set limits and impose consequences that allow your child to grow and change. Part of this is setting limits with appropriate timeframes. Younger kids have a very different sense of time than adults. A weeklong consequence for a six-year-old may feel never-ending to her, where your 10-year-old can more easily feel like there's some light at the end of the tunnel. If you ground your teen for the rest of his life, (while you may definitely feel that way at the time) he will immediately know that you are setting a limit you can't hold him to.

    For some kids, it's helpful to set limits in small increments so they can experience success. "If you are able to make it through this evening without fighting with your brother, you will earn back 20 minutes of computer time tomorrow night." Having do-able steps is especially important for kids with moderate to severe behavior problems as they can often experience failure and feelings of defeat.
  7. Monitor yourself. Watch that you're not falling into old patterns of screaming and yelling or ignoring misbehavior. It's difficult for us, too, as parents to change.  Keep at it.
  8. Start limit setting early.  It's much harder to begin setting limits for the first time when your child is a teenager whose "job" it is to push back on limits, especially those set by parents. But remember, you can start any time.
  9. Change doesn't happen overnight. When things don't seem to be working, try looking for the little changes you can observe in your own behavior—even if they aren't yet impacting your child. Did you make a plan and stick with it? Did you make a decision and hold firm? Were you able to tell your child what you expected of him without screaming and yelling? If you did any of these things, you are making progress.

    There may be relapses by you or your child. You may get "lazy" about follow-through; or your child who was doing so well playing at recess gets into a fight. Keep small set-backs in perspective, and try thinking one day at a time. It may also be time to review your limits and consequences and see if they need adjusting.
  10. Don't look for validation from your child. If you're looking for validation from your kids, you're giving them too much power. Their job is not to be your friend, or to thank you for setting limits to help them control their behavior. Part of being a parent is setting limits, teaching better behaviors, and coaching your children as they begin to use those improved behaviors. This is a hard job, and at times you can feel pretty alone. Talk to other parents who you trust. Discuss the problems with your partner, and support each other in the changes. Talk with a teacher or guidance counselor who understands your child and some of the unique challenges he or she presents.
Parents often feel that by setting limits, they will lose their child's love. Just the opposite is true. Kids need limits, and count on parents to set those for them to keep them safe and help them grow. Setting limits is an act of love.
As you start setting and holding your children to more consistent limits, you might feel that you are being overly strict.  Aiming for consistency may also feel rigid to parents who are used to a looser household. Remember that limit-setting is just one part of effective parenting and needs to be paired with teaching and coaching. Children aren't going to change their behavior simply due to limits.  Kids also need parents to teach better problem-solving skills and to coach them as they try out the new skills and behaviors. They may never say thank you, but setting limits is one of the best gifts you can give your child.

Read more: EmpoweringParents

Older but Wiser!

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As we grow older hence wiser, we slowly realise that wearing a $300.00 or a $30.00 watch, they both tell the same time.


Whether we carry a $300.00 or a $30.00 wallet/handbag,  the amount of money inside is the same.

Whether we drink a bottle of $300.00  or a $10.00, the hangover is the same.

Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3000 sq. ft., loneliness is the same.

You will realise true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.  Whether you fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down, you go down with it.

Therefore, I hope you realise when you have mates, buddies old friends, brothers and  sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, have fun with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven earth, that is true happiness.

Be Confident And The Rest Will Follow!



Your confidence will depend on how strongly you believe in your intention. Your intention is your goal or desire. Without intent any action is useless and meaningless, and your words will be utterly devoid of power. To be successful you need to formulate, focus on, and put all your mental energy towards your intention.

Think of it this way; although we know we can never truly be certain as to the exact outcome of any event, we can be certain about our intent. Your intent will give you outcome you want to achieve.

Also it helps, before you do anything, to go inside and say to yourself confidently and powerfully, in the most authoritative voice, 'Of course I can do this!'

Say that again and again so that you believe it, 'Of course I can do this". You'll notice that the mere fact that you are saying that inside your mind that causes you to accept and believe the fact that you will be successful. So, while we can never truly be certain about the specifics of any interaction or outcome, we can always be certain about our intent.

I also want to point out this important fact - confidence isn't certainty. This is true for anything in life. You can be confident, but you can never be certain of anything.

I know that I'm very confident, but even with all my confidence, sometimes things don't work out the way I want them to. That happens. However I also know that even though I am confident I know HOW to do something, and I have the ABILITY to do it, if it doesn't work, it is not going to erode my confidence. I know if I am consistent and focus on my intent the things WILL happen.

My point here is this - never get discouraged. With a little practice and focusing on your intent, you WILL be very successful. So just "BE" confident and the rest will follow.


Picture Source

Don't Look Back

quotes.land



If you carefully observe the people who are in stress, you will notice that they keep thinking about a specific event, conversation, failure, brawl or hard luck again and again which has happened to them in past. Such people do not have control on their thinking process hence they allow their brain to keep wandering in the past. While It's a known fact that bad luck happens to everyone, it's people's attitude and the quantum of reaction which defines the degree of stress. Since stress and happiness are vice versa so more stress results in less happiness or in some cases loss of happiness. Article written by Junaid.Tahir

Always remember that everyone passes through tragic moments in life however 
you will agree that the more you think about bad things happened in the past, the more magnitude of stress you give birth to.    Hence the chains of negativity and stress around your neck need to be broken and thrown away so as to move on with your life. 

The fact remains the same that you cannot change the past, neither you can boil the ocean so a wise person would not keep thinking about something which has already happened instead he would learn the lesson from the past and take measures which need to be done in order to prevent such happening in future. A wise man will always focus on the solutions instead of thinking about the problems.  Article written by Junaid.Tahir
So here is what I recommend: 
Take a pen and list down all the issues bothering you right now. You will, eventually, end up with a very limited number of issues causing depression back and forth. Now the next step is to split these issues into two groups. One group for which you do have some solution and the other group should contain the issues which are out of control. The worries and sorrows from the second group should be shun away. You need to train your brain not to think of something which is beyond control. Divert your focus on the issues for which you can do something. Do it now because this time will also become past and you would be cursing these moments for taking action at right time.

You may want to read my articles on stress by clicking here
About Author: Junaid Tahir, a telecom engineer and a blogger, writes articles on wisdom, happiness and stress management. His articles can be read Here

Story: The Surprise Test



One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They waited anxiously at their desks for the test to begin. The professor handed out the question paper, with the text facing down as usual.
 
Once he handed them all out, he asked his students to turn the page and begin. To everyone's surprise, there were no questions....just a black dot in the center of the page. The professor seeing the expression on everyone's face, told them the following: "I want you to write what you see there."
 
The students confused, got started on the inexplicable task. At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading each one of them aloud in front of all the students. All of them with no exceptions, described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet, etc. etc. etc.
 
After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor began to explain: "I am not going to grade you on this; I just wanted to give you something to think about. No one wrote about the white part of the paper. Everyone focused on the black dot - and the same happens in our lives. We have a white paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots.
 
Our life is a gift given to us by God, with love and care, and we always have reasons to celebrate - nature renewing itself everyday, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, the miracles we see everyday.
 
However we insist on focusing only on the dark spots - the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend and so on.
 
The dark spots are very small compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds. Take your eyes away from the black spots in your life. Enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you. Be happy and live a life filled with LOVE,"
Picture source

Every Negative Experience



Every negative experience leaves a negative mark on our mind. 


When We talk about that to someone, they too would be influenced. 


In the same way, when someone talks about others, it creates negativity in our minds too. 


Although we did not have that negative experience, we tend to carry the unnecessary burden of negativity. 

Tiny Device To Track Your Car Using Your Smartphone

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A Brand New Tracking Method That Anyone Can Afford.

Have you ever lost your car on a parking lot? It happens. You park and go shopping. When you get back, you don't have a clue where your car is. Then you start roaming around clicking on the panic button on your car keys so the alarm goes off. It can be frustrating, especially on a hot, sunny day.

No, you don't need to install an expensive GPS system to keep track of your car. It's overpriced. Besides, you would need to pay a monthly subscription fee just to use it. And we all know that having too many monthly bills is stressful.
But is there a way to track your vehicle without spending a fortune? Yes, now there is!

A California-based company was able to make this a reality. They created a tiny device that works with your smartphone, and it could be exactly what you're looking for!

What is it?

It's called TrackR. It is a state-of-the-art GPS unit the size of a quarter. It's changing the way we keep track of the important things in our lives
trackr

How does it work?

It's easy! Install the free TrackR app on your smartphone, connect the app to your device and you're ready to go! Simply attach TrackR to whatever you want to keep tabs on. The entire process of setting it up only takes 5 minutes or less.
You can attach it to your keys, briefcase, wallet, your latest tech gadgets and anything else you don't want to lose. Then use the TrackR app to locate your missing item in seconds.

The Tracking Possibilities Are Endless!

Forget expensive GPS systems or tracking services. Nobody wants to pay expensive monthly subscription fees. We understand how stressful these things can be, and this is the reason why TrackR was created. This GPS unit is your VIP when you need to take care of more important things in life.

Remember the car scenario above? If you have the TrackR, you can just hide it under your car's floor mat, in the trunk or in the glove compartment. Somewhere it won't be found if your car gets stolen.

If you forget where you parked your car, whip out your smartphone and open the TrackR app. Tap on the "find device" button on the screen and the app will tell you the exact coordinates of the last known location of the TrackR.
With TrackR you'll gain peace of mind, knowing you can find your car quickly.

Watch The Video Below To See How TrackR Works...

How Much is This Thing Going To Cost Me?

It's a steal compared to most of the GPS tracking units on the market today. The TrackR only costs $29! That's a small price to pay for peace of mind, isn't it?

Where Can I Buy TrackR?

You can buy it directly from the company's website by clicking here.
UPDATE: As a special summer sale, the company is now offering an incredible "Buy 3 – Get 2 FREE" deal to all new customers.

What Else Can I Do With TrackR?

As we said before, TrackR has unlimited possibilities. The device is small and unobtrusive enough that you can attach it to your pet. Put it on their collar, and the issue of searching for them as they scamper off to nearby places will be over! Attach it to your keys and wallet, and never waste a minute rummaging the whole house for it.

TrackR even comes with a double-sided adhesive so you can stick it to your laptop or under your bike seat. Track down and punish the thieves who steal your expensive things!

Attach it To Everything That's Important To You...

Now that you've been informed about this brilliant invention, let me show you how easy it is to track your valuable items. All you need is to follow these steps:

Step 1: Order TrackR today to take advantage of the amazing summer sale.
Step 2: When you receive it, open the package and place the thin battery inside the device. Then download the free TrackR app on your smartphone and link up the GPS unit with the app. Finally, hide the unit in your car or attach it to the thing you wish to track.
Step 3: Relax... Use the TrackR app to find your things. It's easy!


Here's a tip: TrackR is a great gift idea because there's no monthly fee involved!

Health: How to Avoid Aging

old lady woman cheerleader baby boomer elderly


Question: How can I be like this woman? Answer: Salmon and olive oil. Reuters 
        
It's rare that a long, technical paper in a biology journal turns out to be a page-turner. But it happens.
A team of researchers published a thorough review of the science of why we age this week in the journal Cell. It ties together that still-young field's confusing, sometimes contradictory findings into a single coherent whole and offers the most complete explanation I've seen anywhere as to why human beings get old, as well as what we can do to slow the aging process.
As a science writer — and reader — used to incomplete and occasionally absurd claims about staving off old age, I found this paper genuinely difficult to put down.
Here are some of its most important takeaways.

Aging is all about your metabolism

All told, the authors identified nine key hallmarks of aging on your metabolism.
Let's be careful about our terms here: Your metabolism isn't some organ or group of organs in your body that determines how many sugary foods you can eat before noticing a bulge on your waistline. Rather, it's the billions of actions all of your cells take every second of every day to convert fuel into energy and put together the complex compounds necessary for your body to function.
As you get old, your metabolism becomes less efficient. Your DNA becomes more damaged, introducing errors and inefficiency to how your cells function. Your body's process for destroying and eliminating old, exhausted cells ("autophagy") slows down, which has a number of negative effects on your well-being. And all the stress your body has experienced over the course of your lifetime makes it less able to perform the daily quality-control tasks necessary for health.

We don't know how to stop aging, but we know of some things that can help

mediterranean Eat like you're from here. Shutterstock
If aging is a disease of the metabolism, it shouldn't surprise anyone that the fuel you put into your body can have a serious impact on your longevity.
There's a strong body of evidence to suggest that what's known as a Mediterranean diet can extend your life.
That's shorthand for a diet high in healthy fats like olive oil, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, and fish — and with little red meat or sugar. They make a point of noting that replacing proteins with healthy complex carbohydrates seems to offer serious benefits to longevity.
Also helpful: Calorie restriction. In part, this practice simply refers to not overeating. But perhaps just as important is building periods of fasting into your routine — evidence suggests that doing this for just several hours a day might have a real benefit for some people.
Finally, and this should surprise no one, regularly exercise appears to help slow down all nine of the major hallmarks of aging identified in the paper. 

Our "westernized" lifestyles are killing us

While improvements in healthcare and public safety have created drastic improvements in lifespans in the "Western" world, there's still a lot to worry about.
 
A high-calorie diet heavy in sugar, animal proteins from red meat, and unhealthy fats like margarine stresses our metabolisms and can increase the risks of obesity. Many Americans fail to consume nutritious vegetables, fibers, and whole grains. And most of us simply do not work out enough and spend far too many hours not moving.
 
The problem is serious enough, the study authors write, that they end the paper with a call to action, ostensibly meant to encourage people to adopt healthier lifestyles.

There's a lot we still don't know

The most significant part of this paper is that it brings together the dozens of disparate studies on aging, identifying and highlighting both some of the common threads in the science and some of the major gaps in our knowledge.
One of the biggest problems with aging research that the paper touches on, for example, is the fact that only a fraction of all of our "aging science" comes from studies of people. Instead, the vast majority of that research is done in lab animals like flies, worms, and mice.There's strong evidence for the positive impacts of interventions like caloric restriction on longevity in these animals, but the details are still fuzzy.

Hopefully, as more public health and biology research turns toward the question of aging, we'll get better at helping people across geographies and social classes live more healthily into their old age.

24 Tricks to Survive Hot Summer Nights (Without AC)

When summer comes to mind, we almost always focus on picnics, days lounging on the beach, and tasty iced drinks. But hot weather has a gnarly side too. We’re talking about the real dog days of summer, when intense heat and humidity make it impossible to sit comfortably, let alone sleep through the night.
The obvious solution for cool, calm, and REM-ful sleeping is an air conditioner: These modern gizmos can keep a bedroom at the optimum sleep temperature (roughly between 60 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit), plus provide some nice white noise to boot. But even small window units use up tons of energy and jack up monthly electric bills. So what’s an environmentally-responsible, budget-conscious sleeper to do?
Living through a hot summer without AC seems impossible but, hey, our grandparents did it all the time! Turns out, they learned a few things in the process. Read on for some tried and true DIY strategies for staying cool on hot nights.

Cool as a Cucumber—How to Beat the Heat



1. Choose cotton.

Save the ooh-la-la satin, silk, or polyester sheets for cooler nights. Light-colored bed linens made of lightweight cotton (Egyptian or otherwise) are breathable and excellent for promoting ventilation and airflow in the bedroom.

2. Feel the freezer burn.

Stick sheets in the fridge or freezer for a few minutes before bed. We recommend placing them in a plastic bag first (unless eu de frozen pizza is your fave aromatherapy scent). Granted, this won’t keep you cool all night, but it will provide a brief respite from heat and humidity.

3. Get cold comfort.

Here’s a four-seasons tip for keeping utilities charges down: Buy a hot water bottle. In winter, fill it with boiling water for toasty toes without cranking the thermostat. During summer, stick it in the freezer to create a bed-friendly ice pack.

4. Be creative.

If you thought fans are just for blowing hot air around, think again! Point box fans out the windows so they push hot air out, and adjust ceiling fan settings so the blades run counter-clockwise, pulling hot air up and out instead of just twirling it around the room.

5. Sleep like an Egyptian.

If there seem to be a lot of Egyptian references in this list, it’s because those Nile-dwellers knew how to do it right. The so-called “Egyptian method” involves dampening a sheet or towel in cool water and using it as a blanket. We recommend laying the damp sheets on top of a dry towel to avoid soaking the mattress.

6. Get loose.

Less is definitely more when it comes to summertime jammies. Pick a loose, soft cotton shirt and shorts or underwear. Going full nudie during a heat wave is (unsurprisingly) controversial. Some people believe it helps keep them cool, while others claim going au natural means sweat stays on the body instead of being wicked away by fabric. We’re going to chalk this one up to personal preference.

7. Go old-school

Remember when refrigerators were iceboxes that contained actual blocks of ice? Us neither. This stay-cool trick is straight out of the icebox era, though. Make a DIY air conditioner by positioning a shallow pan or bowl (a roasting pan works nicely) full of ice in front of a fan. The breeze will pick up cold water from the ice’s surface as it melts, creating a cooling mist.


8. Create a cross-breeze.

In this case, hanging out in the cross-hairs is a good idea. Position a fan across from a window, so the wind from outside and the fan combine in a cooling cross-breeze. Feeling fancy? Go buck-wild and set up multiple fans throughout the room to make the airflow even more boisterous.
9. Pamper your pulses. Need to cool down, stat? To chill out super-fast, apply ice packs or cold compresses to pulse points at the wrists, neck, elbows, groin, ankles, and behind the knees.

10. Get tech-y.

We can’t vouch for its effectiveness, but the chillow—a high-tech pad that stays cool through water circulation—seems like a genius idea.

11. Be a lone wolf.

Sorry lovebugs, but sleeping alone is way better than spooning for staying cool. Cuddling with a partner increases body heat, making the bed a sticky, sweaty pit of despair instead of a cool, calm oasis.

12. Release your inner Tarzan.

Feeling ambitious (or just really, really hot)? Rig up a hammock or set up a simple cot. Both types of beds are suspended on all sides, which increases airflow.

13. Fill up the tank.

Get a leg up on hydration by drinking a glass of water before bed. Tossing and turning and sweating at night can result in dehydration, so get some H20 in the tank beforehand. (Pro tip: Just eight ounces will do the trick, unless you’re really into those 3 a.m. bathroom runs.)

14. Cool off.

A cold shower takes on a whole new meaning come summertime. Rinsing off under a stream of tepid H20 brings down the core body temperature and rinses off sweat (ick) so you can hit the hay feeling cool and clean.

15. Get low.

Hot air rises, so set up your bed, hammock, or cot as close to the ground as possible to beat the heat. In a one-story home, that means hauling the mattress down from a sleeping loft or high bed and putting it on the floor. If you live in a multi-floor house or apartment, sleep on the ground floor or in the basement instead of an upper story.

16. Turn off the lights.

This tip is pretty self-explanatory. Light bulbs (even environmentally-friendly CFLs) give off heat. Fortunately, summer means it stays light until eight or nine at night. Take advantage of natural light as much as possible, and keep rooms cool after dark by using lights minimally or not at all (romantic candle-lit dinner, anyone?).

17. Hang out.

Cool down a whole room by hanging a wet sheet in front of an open window. The breeze blowing in will quickly bring down the room’s temperature.

18. Stay away from the stove.

Summer is not the time to whip up a piping hot casserole or roast chicken. Instead, chow down on cool, room-temperature dishes (salads are clutch) to avoid generating any more heat in the house. If hot food is in order, fire up the grill instead of turning on the oven. And swap big meals for smaller, lighter dinners that are easier to metabolize. The body produces more heat after you chow down on a huge steak than a platter of fruits, veggies, and legumes.

19. Encourage cold feet.

Those ten little piggies are pretty sensitive to temperature because there are lots of pulse points in the feet and ankles. Cool down the whole body by dunking (clean!) feet in cold water before hitting the hay. Better yet, keep a bucket of water near the bed and dip feet whenever you’re feeling hot throughout the night.

20. Unplug at night.

As in, literally disconnect electronics. Gadgets and other small appliances give off heat, even when turned off. Reduce total heat in the house (and save energy!) by keeping plugs out of sockets when the appliances are not in use.

21. Camp at home.

Got access to a safe outdoor space like a roof, courtyard, or backyard? Practice those camping skills (and stay cooler) by pitching a tent and sleeping al fresco.

22. Hog the bed.

Sleeping alone (see No. 11 above) has its perks, including plenty of space to stretch out. Snoozing in spread eagle position (i.e. with arms and legs not touching each other) is best for reducing body heat and letting air circulate around the body. Hit the hay in this sleep position to keep limbs from getting crazy sweaty.

23. Go rustic.

When temperatures soar, trade in that extra-comfy mattress for a minimalist straw or bamboo mat. These all-natural sleeping surfaces are less comfortable, but they don’t retain heat like a puffy, cloth-covered mattress.

24. Get creative with grains.

Rice and buckwheat aren’t just for eating! These cupboard staples can also keep you cool on hot nights. Stock up on buckwheat pillows, which don’t absorb heat like cotton and down. And for a cold compress on really hot nights, fill a sock with rice, tie it off, and stick it in the freezer for an hour or so. The compress will stay chilly for up to 30 minutes, definitely enough time to nod off.

Source: greatist

Just What Is Your Excuse? How to Eliminate Your Excuses



 Is there something that you've been meaning to get to but just haven't been able to for the longest time? I'm not talking about a specific goal -- just something that you've been meaning to do but haven't been able to. What's the reason? Think about it. Why have you been putting it off for so long? Write it down and you'll discover your excuses. Now do the same thing for some of the goals that you set out to achieve some time ago but just never got around to doing. Or think about a course that you've been meaning to take, a book you want to read, learning something that could change your life, pursuing a hobby, anything. Then list all the reasons that you have for not doing it.

Here are some of the excuses that I hear everyday for people not doing what they want to do:

. I haven't got the time.
· There are just too many things to do.
· I'll start on Monday (does something magical happen on Monday that doesn't happen on any other day? If there is I sure would like to know.)
· First I want to get through this project then I'll get to that.
· My kids are driving me crazy.
· My friends won't understand.
· It just takes too much time.
· I'm going on vacation and will do it when I get back.
· I can't concentrate.
· It's just too much work."


And the list goes on and on and on. In the end you never complete what you wanted to do. Why? Because you've bought into your excuses! You now believe your excuses and thus nothing ever gets done.

So what's your excuse for not creating the changes or improvements you want in your life? More importantly -- how do you get past or eliminate your excuses?

In many cases the most common excuse is time. People always say they don't have time or they will get to it later or they'll wait until they have more time. But what's the reason for creating that excuse. The truth is that it's often really not about time. Let's face it you have 24 hours in a day, you sleep for 8, leaving 16, you work 8 hours or even 10 hours a day that leaves you with 6 or 8 hours a day. Maybe you spend an hour commuting everyday that brings it down to 5 or 7 hours a day. You cook, eat and relax -- does that take 5 or 7 hours everyday. No it doesn't. The truth is that if you just spent even a few minutes to an hour a day working towards your goals you'd achieve them. The real reason is not time. The real reason you're coming up with all of those excuses, even if time is not the determining factor -- is because you're focusing on the process and not the result.

What do I mean? Let's say you wanted to clean up your home. You then start thinking about all the work that you have to do and essentially you focus on the process and not the result which would be to have a clean, tidy home that you can be proud of. If you want to get a new job but don't do anything about it - then it's likely because you're thinking about the process of going through the papers, searching for other opportunities, going on interviews where you may get rejected, and you're not focusing on the result that you want --which is to get a better job so you don't have to work the crazy hours and have more time for yourself.

When you focus on the process you'll come up with excuses for not doing what you really want to do. Why? Because the process is time consuming, it requires work, you have to put in the effort, and everybody wants things done immediately -- we all want results right away. But does a marathon athlete start off by running the New York Marathon. No. Instead he or she trains sometimes for years before running in the New York Marathon. Does a professional football player become a professional football player without training and playing at least in high school? No. Does a successful company generate millions of dollars in profits overnight? No. They all go through what seems like an excruciating and time consuming process to the average outsider who is not involved in the process and not focused on the reward or the result.

Too often I hear people tell me their excuses for not moving forward and achieving their goals and I know the real reason is that they're focusing on the process and not the result.


How To Eliminate The Excuses

If you really want to achieve your goals you have to eliminate the excuses -- get them out of your system. Unfortunately you can't reach in and just yank them out. Your mind has become comfortable with these excuses and they are now a part of your daily thinking and living. The good news is that you can eliminate them by replacing them and you do this by first deciding what you want and why. The why of your quest is very important! I'm not asking you to come up with a noble reason. I want you to be honest with yourself because why this goal is important is really the reason you want to pursue it. So think about it and come up with your reasons for achieving your goals.

Now the next time you find yourself coming up with excuses -- or when those excuses come surging forward when you think about accomplishing something - focus on the reward or the reason for having those goals. Then add to it the understanding that if you don't do it now it will never happen! If you keep living with your excuses, if you continually accept your excuses the changes you want will never happen. If you continue to focus on the process and not the reason the changes will never happen.

When you focus on the reason for achieving those goals you actually start to enjoy the process because you have a result in mind that you want to accomplish. Start to focus on the reason and rewards of your goals. Learn to develop a new way of thinking and living so that your subconscious mind creates the opportunities for you to succeed.
The Final Push

I know some of you may say: "You don't understand my situation. I really don't have the time -- I barely get a moment to breath - let alone do anything else. How can I make the time when there aren't enough hours in the day." We all get the same amount of time - how we use them is up to us. If you don't have the time to make the changes or improvements you want in life then you're really saying they're not important enough. But don't just listen to me - take a look for yourself. Write a list of all the things you do everyday and then see which are so important that they can't be put aside for your goals. And keep in mind -- that if you don't make the time for those improvements you want – nothing changes. Remember the reason for those goals – remember the outcome that you want. Then see if it's important enough to set aside a few minutes.

Remember -- you only get one life and one chance. Make the most of it. Stop defeating yourself, stop limiting yourself. Create all the success you want and deserve in life.

Karim Hajee  Creating Power

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