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20 Fantastic Benefits for Spending Sometime in Silence

"Silence is a source of great strength." ~Lao Tzu

For over two years I spent one out of every four weeks in silence. At the time I was living at a Zen Monastery and every month we would have a week-long silent retreat.

During this retreat we sat meditation in silence, ate in silence, worked in silence, and only communicated through hand gestures and written notes.

At first living like this was hard, but over time I learned to grow to appreciate silence. By the time I left I learned that silence was my friend and teacher.

What did silence teach me?

1. Satisfaction

I used to think I needed to watch TV every night. But at monastery I went without and discovered I didn't need it.

Silence taught me to be happy with less. Pick something that's weighing you down and let it go. Your life will thank you.

2. Expression

When you can only talk by writing a note, you only say what's important. Before the monastery I talked a lot but said little.

Silence taught me that a few simple words well spoken have more power than hours of chatter. Think of one simple thing you can say that would help someone feel better and say it.

3. Appreciation

Being able to speak makes life easy, but when I couldn't talk I learned how much I relied on others.

Silence taught me to appreciate the value of relating to others. The next time you see your friends or family, try to really listen. Deep listening expresses deep appreciation.

4. Attention

Several times at my first retreat I thought my phone was vibrating. But then I would remember I didn't have my phone. It showed me how my phone divided my attention.

Silence taught me how important it is to let go of distractions. The next time you are with someone you care about, try turning off your phone and putting it away. It will make paying attention easier.

5. Thoughts

I once sat a retreat next door to a construction project. What amazed me was how easily my thoughts drowned out the noise. I realized if my thoughts were this loud, I'd better make them as wise as possible.

Silence taught me the importance of shaping my thinking. Take time each day to notice your thoughts and let go of thoughts that don't serve you.

6. Nature

Because I sat retreat in every season, I know that the sound of wind in fall is different than it is in winter.

Silence taught me to notice nature. Take a short walk outside in silence and you'll discover the wisdom and peace that nature has to offer.

7. Body

During retreat I noticed that whenever I got lost in thought, I lost track of my body. And when I focused on my body, my thoughts would calm down.

Silence taught me to be in my body. Close your eyes and ask, "What sensations do I feel in my hand?" Learning to feel your body can calm your troubled mind.

8. Overstimulation

Whenever I went into town after retreat, the world seemed so loud and fast. I came to realize how much our senses have to process most of the time.

Silence taught me the importance of reducing the stimulation. Enjoy some quiet time everyday. The less you see and hear, the more settled your mind can become.

9. Sound

People would come to the monastery and remark how quiet it was. But living at the monastery I knew all the noises, from frogs, to owls, to the sound of sandals on the sidewalk.

Silence taught me that the world is a rich texture of sounds. Sit in front of your house and close your eyes. You'll be amazed at what you hear if you listen long enough.

10. Humanity

During retreat I was surrounded by imperfect people who were doing their best. Some were happy, some were sad, but all were wonderfully human.

Silence taught me that people display great beauty. Find a good spot to people watch with an open heart. What you see may inspire you.

11. Space

For a long time anytime something difficult came up, I would just distract myself. But retreat taught me that if I avoided something it would never go away.

Silence taught me that space helps me face hard times. The next time you face something difficult, pause and honor whatever's arising.

12. Love

I used to think love was this big thing. But in retreat I found that I felt love for so many things.

Silence taught me that love can be simple. Think of someone you haven't said I love you to recently and tell them.

13. Courage

I used to think courage was about facing danger, but during retreat I realized that real courage is about facing yourself.

Silence taught me the courage it takes to be still. When we stop moving everything we're running from catches up. The next time you are afraid, stop and wait for it to pass. There is immense courage inside your heart.

14. Perseverance

Every retreat reminded me that speaking is easy, but staying quiet is hard.

Silence isn't flashy, but it has an immense power to endure. The next time someone doubts you, instead of disagreeing, silently vow not to give up. Action speaks volumes.

15. Faith

I often ask for reassurance or feedback. But living in silence meant I had to trust my instincts.

Silence taught me to have faith in myself. The next time you begin to feel anxious, sit in silence and see if you can find the space of deep faith that lives in your heart.

16. Honesty

I used to lie so I wouldn't have to explain myself. But when I couldn't talk I began to notice this impulse and how much it degraded my integrity.

Silence taught me the importance of telling the truth. Notice times where you tell little lies and try telling the truth instead. It isn't always easy but it's the first step to trusting ourselves and others. 

17. Gratitude

During retreat I didn't have a lot of comforts. It helped me see how much I took for granted and how much I had to be grateful for.

At the end of every day sit in silence and ask yourself what am I grateful for. You'll be amazed at the blessings you discover.

18. Simplicity

I used to love drama and conflict. But at retreat I found I was happier when I kept it simple.

Silence taught me that simplicity and joy are close companions. Pick one space in your home you could simplify. Keep it simple for one month and enjoy the ease it offers your life.

19. Connection

I used to think I had to talk in order to feel connected. I realized during retreat that I can feel connected just by being near people I care about.

Silence taught me that words can get in the way. Do something in silence with someone you love. It will be awkward at first but eventually you will see what it means just to be in someone presence.

20. Truth

I studied philosophy in college and I thought I could read about truth. But retreat taught me that truth is found in silence.

Silence has taught me a deeper truth than words ever could. Sit in silence once a week and feel the truth in your heart. It's there whether you can express it in words or not.

Photo by Hartwig HKD

Treating Hair Loss Naturally

Hair loss relates to chronic stress, poor nutrients, poor hygiene, hormonal imbalances and much more. Hair fall due to nutritional deficiencies can be cured by rectifying the diet with these strong foods. Let's what makes these foods worthy of adding in to your staple diet.

1. Whole wheat-The new craze on whole grain is spreading. The health benefits of using whole grains are endless. Whole wheat is an excellent source of nutrients like fibre, manganese, magnesium, iron and silica. Iron helps in oxygen supply by enhancing haemoglobin production. With enough blood supply to the scalp hair loss would be minimized. Silica is one of the essentials in retaining your youth, bone health, skin and nail health and is also a great gift to dull lifeless hair.

2. Oranges-Eat your oranges and keep the peels. Oranges with their vitamin c would enhance collagen production of the skin and stop hair fall caused by Vitamin C deficiency. Vitamin C will also ensure iron absorption.

3. Almonds-Your hair and skin would benefit greatly by eating a fist full of almonds a day. They are high in Vitamin E, iron and proteins. If your statin drugs causes hair fall then almonds are your ideal choice.

4. Oats-Oatmeal is also a good source of iron if your hair fall is due to iron deficiency anaemia. It is also a good source of fibre, potassium, magnesium and phosphorus.

5. Chickpeas-Chickpea flour when applied on skin is a great natural cleanser and complexion enhancer. It is rich in zinc and vitamin B6, two necessary nutrients for thick luxurious hair. Eat a bowl of chickpea for optimum health, or just sprout them well!

6. Soya-Iron and Vitamin E with ample protein can be found in Soya. Vitamin E would enhance skin (scalp) and hair health.

7. Cow's milk-Milk is a good source of iodine and a quick answer to hair loss.

8. Fish-Hair can't remain healthy without Essential Fatty Acids. Fish oil supplements are a great source of EFAs, Vitamin A, protein and Vitamin B6.

12 Habits of Perfectly Organized People

It's true what they say: clutter breeds clutter. There are so many of us who dream of running a less chaotic household or struggle to remember what ouroffice desk looks like. We crave order, yet at the same time resist due to the negative connotations attached to being perfectly organized.

There are many who believe being perfectly organized is like believing in unicorns: it's just not going to happen. There are also misconceptions that being "organized" means being a control freak or a neat freak. That if you prefer to organize the food in your fridge a specific way, you're not being efficient, you're being OCD. That you're not truly enjoying your life because you're focusing on mundane details you "shouldn't" consider important.

I'm here to say that's a huge pile of crap! As someone who's gone from chaotic and spontaneous to organized and efficient, there are so many benefits to the latter this topic could be turned into a self-help book. The top three benefits of being perfectly organized are:

Not being in a permanent state of "catch-up" decreases your stress level by 10,000 percent and increases your self-esteem by the same amount.
You're able to work less and accomplish more.
You always know where your keys are!

By being perfectly organized, you're respecting your most valuable commodity: time. It helps you accomplish all you set out to, both professionally and personally. It gives you the freedom to be exactly who you are and live a life of minimal stress, not to mention how much more enjoyable the present moment becomes.

If you'd like to feel this way too, here are 12 habits of perfectly organized people I've observed, read about, and am currently attempting to execute:

Find out more Lifehacks: Why Being Popular Isn't as Cool as It Looks

1. They know who they want to be.

Perfectly organized people have an exact definition of how they want their life to be – from how they want their home to look, to how they want to dress, to how they spend their time – which makes it a lot easier to set goals and feel a sense of accomplishment.

2. They know how to say, "No."
Because they know exactly what they want, it's easier for them to say, "No": when they're offered a work project or invited to a social gathering that doesn't advance their lifestyle in some way, they're able to decline with confidence and aren't easily swayed by societal pressure.

3. They're mindful shoppers.

Just because something's on sale doesn't mean you have to buy it. Perfectly organized people always ask themselves, "Do I really need this?" before every purchase. Not only does this help keep your budget intact, it pushes you away from using instant gratification as a tool to cope with rough patches.

4. They've let go of their perfectionism.

If you try to do everything perfectly, it goes without saying you'll feel like a constant disappointment. Perfectly organized people channel their perfectionist tendencies into their most important tasks – work assignments, remodeling their home, exercising – and with tasks that aren't a priority, they do what they have to do to get the job done.

5. They don't believe in labeling anything "miscellaneous."

Though they don't have much to store due to their minimalist nature, when perfectly organized people do store items, they specifically label and index where everything can be found. Their bills are specifically filed, and their Christmas decorations are specifically cataloged.

6. They separate emotions from possessions.

They don't attach sentimental value to everything they own. For example, I still have my three favorite stuffed animals from when I was a kid, but not my entire collection. (I'm a big kid now!)

7. What they don't need, they don't own.

They don't buy anything until they know it's something they're going to use right away or in the near future. From personal experience, there's no worse feeling than cleaning an item more than you enjoy it. Trust me, you won't miss the dusting. At all.

8. They clean as they go.

Instead of waiting for the dishes to pile or the recycling to take itself out, the perfectly organized carve out chunks of time to maintain their lifestyle. This might sound like a drag, but there's no better feeling than having time off, andnot having to spend it running errands or cleaning, since they're already taken care of.

9. They understand the power of one.

One checking account. One savings account. One credit card. One email address. Perfectly organized people understand that consolidation and simplicity equals more freedom.

10. When it comes to planning, they're all about the details.

Perfectly organized people don't just plan in advance: they plan way in advance, and they plan in detail. Sure, their to-do lists look like scrolls, but it's only because they've broken down each of their tasks into manageable mini-tasks. Not only does this make each goal less overwhelming, it also helps you foresee any potential conflicts that could get in the way of your end result. BAM!

11. They don't procrastinate.

Because of how much respect they have for their time, perfectly organized people don't procrastinate, and they have no reason to: because of their maintain-as-they-go, to-do-list-Zorroing way of life, there's no need to.

12. They believe in quality over quantity.

To perfectly organized people, quantity equals clutter. They'd rather be surrounded by a minimal amount of items, all of which they use, enjoy, and actually have time to take care of properly. Professionally, they'd rather streamline their focus into a specialty where they can thrive, instead of working in more than one area and completing mediocre work.

Do you strive to be perfectly organized? Why, or why not?
Source: LifeHack

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Buy Local Product - Its wise in many ways

Buying Locally for a Healthier Taste and Conscience:
Next time you hit the grocery store, shop around for the best buys that support your own local environment. Check labels and signs of the produce you purchase and make an effort to buy locally grown products. Buying locally means less energy expended to bring food to your table, cutting down on everything from air pollution to the burning of fossil fuels from trucking in cargo. Buying locally also means fresher fruits and vegetables that are healthier for your body and tastier to your taste buds. Fruits and veggies shipped from abroad are usually harvested at least two full weeks before they are ripe so that they don't go rotten during their long voyages on planes and in crates before arriving to your grocer.

By buying from people in your area you're also supporting the local economy and helping to make your home part of a more sustainable community. If products aren't labeled at your grocery store, talk to the management and let them know you would like to know whether the tomatoes your buying were genetically engineered at some factory or whether they were grown under the same bright skies you wake up to in the morning. By buying locally, not only are you bound for a fresher taste but also for a healthier conscience by making simple decisions that go a long way in protecting all of our environments.

Story: ​ How God Answers our Prayers

Dr. Ahmed, a well-known cancer specialist, was once on his way to an important conference in another city where he was going to be granted an award in the field of medical research.

He was very excited to attend the conference

​ ​
and was desperate to reach as soon as possible. He had worked long and hard on his research and felt his efforts deserved the award he was about to obtain.

However, two hours after the plane took off, the plane made an emergency landing at the nearest airport due to some technical snag. Afraid, that he wouldn't make it in time for the conference, Dr. Ahmed immediately went to the reception and found that next flight to the destination was after ten hours. The receptionist suggested him to rent a car and drive himself down to the conference city which was only four hours away.

Having no other choice, he agreed to the idea despite his hatred for driving long distances.
Dr. Ahmed rented a car and started his journey. However, soon after he left, the weather suddenly changed and a heavy storm began. The pouring rain made it very difficult for him to see and he missed a turn he was supposed to take.

After two hours of driving, he was convinced he was lost. Driving in the heavy rain on a deserted road, feeling hungry and tired, he frantically began to look for any sign of civilization. After some time, he finally came across a small tattered house. Desperate, he got out of the car and knocked on the door. A beautiful lady opened the door. He explained the matter and asked her if he could use her telephone.

However, the lady told him that she doesn't have a phone or any electronic gadget but told the doctor that if could come inside till weather improves.
Hungry, wet and exhausted, the doctor accepted her kind offer and walked in.

The lady  gave him hot tea and something to eat. The lady told him that he can join her for prayers for which Dr. Ahmed smiled and said that he believe in hard work only and told her to continue with her prayers.

Sitting on the table and  sipping the tea, the doctor watched the woman in the dim light of candles as she prayed next to what appeared to be a small baby crib.

Every time she finished a prayer, she would start another one. Feeling that the woman might be in need of help, the doctor seized the opportunity to speak as soon as she finished her prayers. The doctor asked her what exactly she wants from the God and inquired if God will ever listen or listen to her prayers. He further asked about the small child in the crib for whom she was apparently making a lot of prayers.

The lady gave a sad smile and said that the child in the crib is his son who is suffering from a rare type of cancer and there is only one Doctor Ahmed who can cure him but she doesn't have money to afford his fee and moreover Dr Ahmed lives in another far off town. She said that God has not answered her prayer so far but said that God will create some way out one day and added that she will not allow her fears to overcome her faith.

Stunned and speechless Dr Ahmed was in tears which were rolling down his cheeks. He whispered, God is great and recollected sequence of events. ....there was malfunction in the plane, a thunderstorm hit, and he lost his way; and all of this happened because God did not just answer her prayer but also gave him a chance to come out of materialistic world and give some time to the poor helpless people who have nothing but rich prayers.


​ We should always remember five important steps in our daily life:


May God bless us all

Story: My Daughter Reminds Me a Great Lesson
Story: The Gossip Girl
Story: The Two Falcons
Story: Presence of mind
Story - Stress Management
Story - The Cute Student Counts the Apples
Story - Everyone is unique
Story - The Perspective Understanding
Story - The Millionaire and the 3 Person
Story - The Lawyer and the Farmer :)
Story – The Monkey business :)
Story - The Balloon seller and the Kid
Story - Mistake of Senior Executive
Story - Giving your 100 %

Technology: What is a VPN and Why You Should Start Using It

You may know what a VPN, or Virtual Private Network, is; you probably don't use one. You really should be using a VPN, and even if you don't think so now, at some point in the future you may consider it as important as your internet connection.
When we took at look at your five favorite VPN service providers, we noticed a few things. First, being the "best" is big business for VPN providers, and they'll fight dirty to be one of them. Second, there are so many VPN providers that it's difficult to choose a really good one. VPNs are not all created equally, and in this post, we're going to look at what a VPN is, why you want one, and how to pick the best one for you. Let's get started.
Five Best VPN Service Providers Five Best VPN Service Providers Five Best VPN Service Providers
If you have a need to encrypt and secure your internet connection—whether you're using an…Read more Read more
Why You Should Start Using a VPN (and How to Choose the Best One for Your Needs)

What Is a VPN?

Put simply, a Virtual Private Network, or VPN, is a group of computers (or discrete networks) networked together over a public network—namely, the internet. Businesses use VPNs to connect remote datacenters, and individuals can use VPNs to get access to network resources when they're not physically on the same LAN (local area network), or as a method for securing and encrypting their communications when they're using an untrusted public network. Photo by Pavel Ignatov (Shutterstock).
When you connect to a VPN, you usually launch a VPN client on your computer (or click a link on a special website), log in with your credentials, and your computer exchanges trusted keys with a far away server. Once both computers have verified each other as authentic, all of your internet communication is encrypted and secured from eavesdropping.
The most important thing you need to know about a VPN: It secures your computer's internet connection to guarantee that all of the data you're sending and receiving is encrypted and secured from prying eyes.
Whether the VPNs you're familiar with are the ones offered by your school or business to help you work or stay connected when you're traveling or the ones you pay to get you watch your favorite shows in another country as they air, they're all doing the same thing. For much more detail on what VPNs are, how they work, and how they're used, check out this How Stuff Works article.
Why You Should Start Using a VPN (and How to Choose the Best One for Your Needs)

Why You Need a VPN, or How You Can Benefit from Using One

A VPN alone is just a way to bolster your security and access resources on a network you're not physically connected to. What you choose to do with a VPN is a different story. Usually, VPN users fall into a few separate categories:
    • The student/worker. This person has responsibilities to attend to, and uses a VPN provided by their school or company to access resources on their network when they're at home or traveling. In most cases, this person already has a free VPN service provided to them, so they're not exactly shopping around. Also, if they're worried about security, they can always fire up their VPN when using airport or cafe WI-Fi to ensure no one's snooping on their connection. Photo by Ed Yourdon.
    • The downloader. Whether they're downloading legally or illegally, this person doesn't want on some company's witch-hunt list just because they have a torrenting app installed on their computer. VPNs are the only way to stay safe when using something like BitTorrent—everything else is just a false sense of security. Better safe than trying to defend yourself in court or paying a massive fine for something you may or may not have even done, right?
    • The privacy minded and security advocate. Whether they're a in a strictly monitored environment or a completely free and open one, this person uses VPN services to keep their communications secure and encrypted and away from prying eyes whether they're at home or abroad. To them, unsecured connections mean someone's reading what you say.
    Why You Should Start Using a VPN (and How to Choose the Best One for Your Needs)
    • The globetrotter. This person wants to watch the Olympics live as they happen, without dealing with their crummy local networks. They want to check out their favorite TV shows as they air instead of waiting for translations or re-broadcasts (or watch the versions aired in other countries,) listen to location-restricted streaming internet radio, or want to use a new web service or application that looks great but for some reason is limited to a specific country or region.
    • Some combination of the above. Odds are, even if you're not one of these people more often than not, you're some mix of them depending on what you're doing. In all of these cases, a VPN service can be helpful, whether it's just a matter of protecting yourself when you're out and about, whether you handle sensitive data for your job and don't want to get fired, or you're just covering your own ass from the MPAA.
    Even if none of the above really sound right to you, you can still benefit from using a VPN. You should definitely use one when you travel or work on an untrusted network (read: a network you don't own, manage, or trust who manages.) That means opening your laptop at the coffee shop and logging in to Facebook or using your phone's Wi-Fi to check your email at the airport can all potentially put you at risk.
    We've shown you how to build your own VPN for remote gaming and browsing that also protects your security, shown you how to make a VPN even more secure, and shown you dozens of services that operate free and paid VPNs you can sign up for and use. We've even put the question to you several times to tell us which VPN service providers you think are the best. So how do you pick a solid VPN service?
    Even if you have no idea what a VPN is (it's a Virtual Private Network), the acronym alone…Read more Read more

    What Makes for a Good VPN?

    The best VPNs offer a solid balance of features, server location, connectivity protocols, and price. Some are great for occasional use, others are geared towards getting around the location restrictions companies put on their apps and services, and others are targeted at people who do heavy downloading and want a little privacy while they do it. Here's what you should look for.

      • Protocol: When you're researching a VPN, you'll see terms like SSL/TLS (sometimes referred to as OpenVPN support,) PPTP, IPSec, L2TP, and other VPN types. We asked Samara Lynn, Lead Analyst for Networking and Small Business at PCMag, whether or not a user shopping for a VPN should shop for one over another. "SSL is what is commonly used these days. All of these protocols will provide a secure connection," she explained, and pointed out that most solutions are invisible to the end-user anyway. Strictly, each protocol has its benefits and drawbacks, and if you're concerned about this (specifically, PPTP vulnerabilities,) you're probably already aware of them. Most users don't need to be concerned about this—corporate users on the other hand, are probably all using IPSec or SSL clients anyway.

      • Corporate and Exit Locations: Depending on what you're using a VPN for, your service's location—and the exit locations you can choose—are important to consider. If you want to get around a location restriction and watch live TV in the UK, for example, you want to make sure your VPN service provider has servers in the UK. If you're concerned about privacy or state-sponsored snooping, you may want to pick a service operated outside of your home country. Similarly, if the service is based on the US, they're subject to US laws, and may be forced to turn over usage data to the authorities upon request. Many people make more of this than they should (we've seen overseas services turn over their data to friendly governments without any hesitation repeatedly), but it's important to make sure a VPN has servers in multiple locations—or at least the location you're interested in—when shopping.

      • Logging: When you connect to a VPN, you're trusting the VPN service provider with your data. Your communications may be secure from eavesdropping, but other systems on the same VPN—especially the operator—can log your data if they choose. If this bothers you (e.g., you're the privacy/security advocate or the downloader), make absolutely sure you know your provider's logging policies before signing up. This applies to location as well—if your company doesn't keep logs, it may not matter as much where it's located. (There's a popular rumor that US-based VPN providers are required to log, in case the government wants them. This isn't true, but the government can always request whatever data they have if they do log.) For a good list of VPN providers that don't log your activities when connected (and many that do), check out this TorrentFreak article.
      Why You Should Start Using a VPN (and How to Choose the Best One for Your Needs)
      • Anti-Malware/Anti-Spyware Features: Using a VPN doesn't mean you're invulnerable. You should still make sure you're using HTTPS whenever possible, and you should still be careful about what you download. Some VPN service providers—especially mobile ones—bundle their clients with anti-malware scanners to make sure you're not downloading viruses or trojans. When you're shopping, see if the providers you're interested in offer anti-malware protection while you're connected. For example, previously mentioned Hotspot Shield offers malware protection to its premium users. It may not be a dealbreaker for you, but it's always good to have someone watching your back.

      • Mobile Apps: If you're going to spend money on a VPN service provider (or even if you use a free one, frankly), you should be able to get a consistent experience across all of your devices. Most prominent providers offer desktop and mobile solutions for individual users, and while corporate and school networks may be a bit behind the curve here, they're catching up too. Make sure you don't have to use two different VPNs with two different policies and agreements just because you want to secure your phone along with your laptop.

      • Price: Finally, go into your user agreement with both eyes open. You should read the privacy policy for the service you're interested in, and be very aware of the differences between free and paid services. For example:
        • Free VPN Providers are more likely to log your activities and serve contextual ads while you're connected. They're also more likely to use your usage habits to tailor future ads to you, have fewer exit locations, and weak commitments to privacy. They may offer great features, but if logging and privacy are important to you, you may want to avoid them. However, if you just need quick, painless security while traveling on a budget, they're a great option.
        • Subscription VPN Providers usually take your privacy a bit more seriously, since you're paying for the service. It's unusual for them to show ads, although whether they do logging or store data about your usage varies from company to company. They usually offer free trials so you can give the service a shot first, but remember: just because you're paying for a service doesn't mean you shouldn't do your homework.
      A mix of features and price make a good VPN, but plenty of bad VPNs masquerade as good ones. Look for articles written by trustworthy sources that discuss the merits of each service based on its features, versus simple rundowns and user testimonials, which are almost always polluted by a combination of fanatical users and corporate bootstrapping in attempt to get their names out to potential customers.

      Security mechanisms[edit]

      VPNs cannot make online connections completely anonymous, but they can usually increase privacy and security. To prevent disclosure of private information, VPNs typically allow only authenticated remote access using tunneling protocols and encryption techniques.
      The VPN security model provides:
      Secure VPN protocols include the following:

      Do You Have a Manager’s Mindset?

      Julie Long, a senior developer at a software company, was identified by her manager as a high performer. When she was asked to coordinate a team of three junior developers on a project, Julie was excited about the opportunity to finally move into a management role.
      However she quickly became frustrated. Things that were simple and easy for her were not getting done in a timely way by her team. After just a few weeks in her new role, as she reviewed the code her team members had written, she found herself seriously considering scrapping their contributions and writing it all herself. She knew that if she worked a few extra hours, she could likely match the output of all three of her direct reports.
      This scenario is all too common when an individual is asked to make the leap from expert to manager. It's especially common when someone is asked to lead a team of their recent peers. But jumping into the weeds and trying to do everything, even if it works initially, is not a sustainable strategy. Ultimately a manager needs to focus on becoming a successful teacher and mentor in order to help their people develop and grow, and to increase the overall capacity of the team.
      But this requires a dramatic change in mindset, and it's this process that is so difficult for many of the recently promoted. Because coaching and coordinating others is not how you spent your days as an individual contributor, it can be hard to discard old habits. Start by tracking the improvement of your direct reports from where they are rather than comparing their output and capabilities to your own. If you assess people individually, their talents will emerge—and their progress will become a measure of your own success.
      Here are some other things to keep in mind as you work on shifting your mind-set. Some of these suggestions may seem obvious, but the fundamentals have a way of flying out the window when new responsibilities pile up and the pressure's on
      Take the Long View
      While individual contributors keep their heads down and focus on getting work done, managers needs to be looking further ahead. Good managers spend much of their time anticipating challenges, negotiating political situations, and creating a road map that pulls together what each team member is working on independently. You also need to think beyond what will happen in the ideal scenario and plan for contingencies.
      Seeing the bigger picture involves doing two things well.
      First, you should have a solid understanding of the needs and goals of your department, as well as the entire organization. This clarity about the ecosystem in which your team operates will help you anticipate your manager's expectations. Second, you need to understand the capabilities of the individuals on your team. Recognizing your team's capacity will give you the ability to better forecast when your team will be stretched or when it will experience bottlenecks, and to set expectations accordingly.

      Ask More Questions

      When one of your team members is struggling, it can be tempting to just hand out answers (or do the work yourself, like Julie). After all, you probably know what needs to be done, and quickly providing the solution will get you back to your own work faster. But if you get into the habit of being the answer dispenser, you don't give people the chance to figure it out for themselves.
      Asking questions ca
      n be a great way to help a team member work through a problem. Have them describe what's frustrating – put it up on a whiteboard if you can – and then talk through all the angles. In many cases a solution will become obvious just through the act of describing the problem. But if it doesn't, your questions can be instrumental in helping your employee look at the obstacle in a new way or uncover alternative possibilities.

      Focus on What and When

      As an individual contributor, you were rewarded for perfecting the "how" of getting your work done. You might have great ideas about what makes you more productive and allows you to do your best work. But what works for you might not work for others, and further, others might come up with new ideas or techniques that you haven't considered. It's always best when setting goals with your team to focus on what the deliverables are, and when they need to be complete, but to leave the details of how that gets done up to each person.
      The exception, of course, is when someone asks for help, or if you observe a team member struggling. At that point you can look at how they are going about the task. But even in these cases you should approach the situation with an open mind, and not simply dictate what should be done.
      Another reason to focus on the goals and not the process is to avoid micromanaging. No one enjoys having their manager hang over their shoulder and tell them how to do their job. It's a quick way to frustrate your team, and it won't make the work go any faster.

      Trust Your Gut

      Stepping into a new role can throw you off balance. You are working hard to learn new ways of thinking and behaving and it can make you feel like you're wrong a lot of the time. But your instincts are still valuable. If you feel like a project is going off the rails, don't wait until it's too late to respond. You may be figuring out how to be a good leader, but your sense of whether the work is being done and done right is likely on target—especially if it's work that you've done yourself in the past.
      Many new managers delay confronting a team member who is missing deadlines or struggling in some way because they doubt their instincts or aren't sure how to address the problem productively. But rather than waiting until the situation grows worse, sit down and have a conversation. Make sure you're aware of how people are doing, and check in with them regularly. When you feel like something is off, it probably is.

      Be Patient

      Shifting your mind-set from the day-to-day responsibilities of an individual contributor to the broader view of a manager and leader takes time. Don't expect these skills to evolve overnight, and don't be discouraged if you have some setbacks as you try to strike a balance between getting things done and coaching your team. Most of us aren't natural-born managers. The mind-set of a manager can be learned and honed with practice.
      When times get tough (as they're bound to do) or you're feeling overwhelmed by your new role, pause and ask yourself:
      1. Am I seeing my direct reports' strengths and weaknesses clearly, or comparing them to mine?
      2. Am I taking the long view, anticipating capabilities, challenges, and expectations?
      3. Am I asking questions more often than dispensing answers?
      4. Am I setting clear deadlines and deliverables, but leaving the "how" up to my team?
      5. Am I second-guessing my instincts? (Don't.)
      6. Am I being patient with my own development as a manager?

      Katy Tynan is an expert on the future of work. She is the author of the new book Free Agent: The Independent Professional's Guide to Self-Employment Success, from Productivity Press. Katy is a consultant and a founding partner of MindBridge Partners. Follow her on Twitter @KatyTynan.​

      The Two Falcons

      Once there was a king who received a gift of two magnificent falcons from Arabia. They were peregrine falcons, the most beautiful birds he had ever seen. He gave the precious birds to his head falconer to be trained.

      Months passed and one day the head falconer informed the king that though one of the falcons was flying majestically, soaring high in the sky, the other bird had not moved from its branch since the day it had arrived.

      The king summoned healers and sorcerers from all the land to tend to the falcon, but no one could make the bird fly. He presented the task to the member of his court, but the next day, the king saw through the palace window that the bird had still not moved from its perch. Having tried everything else, the king thought to himself, "May be I need someone more familiar with the countryside to understand the nature of this problem." So he cried out to his court, "Go and get a farmer."

      In the morning, the king was thrilled to see the falcon soaring high above the palace gardens. He said to his court, "Bring me the doer of this miracle."

      The court quickly located the farmer, who came and stood before the king. The king asked him, "How did you make the falcon fly?"

      With head bowed, the farmer said to the king, " It was very easy, your highness. I simply cut the branch of the tree where the bird was sitting."

      Moral :-
      We are all made to fly - to realize our incredible potential as human beings. But instead of doing that, we sit on our branches, clinging to the things that are familiar to us. The possibilities are endless, but for most of us, they remain undiscovered. We conform to the familiar, the comfortable, the mundane. So for the most part, our lives are mediocre instead of exciting, thrilling and fulfilling. So let us learn to destroy the branch of fear we cling to and free ourselves to the glory of flight..

      Story - Unconditional Love
      Story - The Man At The Mexican Beach
      Story - The Carpenter
      Story - The Fisherman
      Story - Train Situation - What Would You Do?
      Story - The Young Couple
      Story - The Stone on the Road
      Story - The Lady and The Sales Man
      Story - The Stock Exchange :)
      Story - The Teacher and the Tomatoes
      Story - Old German Dog
      Story – The Two Wolves

      Humor: The Shoe Box

      A man and woman had been  married for more than 60 years. They had shared  everything. They had talked about everything. They  had kept no secrets from each other except that the little Old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had ​c​cautioned her husband never to  open or ask her about. 

      For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but One day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said  that she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.  She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.  When he opened it, he found two knitted dolls  and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
      He asked her about the contents. 

      'When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me  that the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and knit a doll.' 

      The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two  Precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with Happiness. 

      'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'
      'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.' ....

      Factors That Bring Us Closer to Success

      Given below are some factors that bring us closer to success:

      • High self-esteem.
      • Consistency.
      • Courage and determination.
      • Integrity and honesty.
      • Self-acceptance and acceptance of others.
      • Believing in what you do, regardless of external factors.
      • Responsibility.
      • Dedication, determination and tranquility.
      • Being positive in the face of adversities (negative circumstances).
      • Being consistent with your values.
      • Precision in decisions and choices.
      • Focus.
      • Performing all tasks with love and happiness.
      • Giving the maximum of yourself in everything you do.
      • Creativity.
      • Thoughts and actions in tune with each other.
      • Appreciation and blessings (good wishes) from others.
      • Gratitude toward oneself and others.

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