Blog Archive

The Story of Grand Father


 
I’m writing a personal story of my children – the daring adventures of innocence where everyday brings its curiosities and surprises. Each day opens up a new short chapter in their lives.

Words are not my first choice of a medium, so the story is told with photographs.

I would like to present to you my dad, a grandad of my little monsters. My dad wasn’t really a perfect dad, but he became a perfect grandad.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Purity

 

A powerful, yet often misunderstood, aim of spiritual study is purity. Purity of the soul means to return to its original divine qualities. The soul has become so polluted with less than divine qualities, it can hardly enjoy being alive. Purifying the soul puts the higher self back in charge - useless and negative thoughts are removed and annoying habits finish.
A pure soul cannot be touched by sorrow; indeed the power of purity is such, it serves to remove the sorrow of the whole world. Purity restores happiness - even bliss. All you need to do, in order to re-establish your purity, is want it. But you need to want it intensely, to the exclusion of everything else.
The one thought, "I must become completely pure". sparks a fire of love between you and God. This fire melts away all the pollution, and your purity becomes such a power that it frees you from all battles for ever.

40 Compliments Every Child Should Hear!



A large part of our childhood memories are connected to small but important moments we remember for many years to come. Not because of what occurred but because of how we felt. Some made us angry or lonely, while others made us hopeful, made us laugh and feel optimistic.

Compliments and simple words of encouragement have a lasting effect on the way our children and grandchildren will see the world. Some of the simplest and shortest words can make them feel better about themselves and continue to encourage them through hard times as well.

Below are 40 compliments and encouragements every child or grandchild needs to hear. They are simple to say, but will stay with them for years, we promise!

1. You make me proud every day.
2. Your ideas are wonderful.
3. I'm happy I'm your parent/grandparent.
4. You don't need to be perfect to be a terrific person.
5. It's important to me to hear what you think about this.
6. I believe you.
7. I believe in your abilities.
8. Our family wouldn't be the same without you.
9. I know you did the best you could.
10. I accept you for who you are.
11. Even if you didn't succeed, your method was correct.
12. You help me a lot.
13. You made me happy today.
14. I love how creative you are.
15. It's fun to be with you.
16. Your ideas are great, never fear speaking them out loud.
17. You can make a positive change in anything you choose to do.
18. I can't wait for the moment we'll be together.
19. I'm very interested in your stories.
20. I love seeing the world through your eyes.
21. Never stop being this curious.
22. I admire your ability to make your own decisions.
23. That was a great question!
24. Your friends are lucky to know you.
25. That was a smart choice.
26. It makes me happy to see you happy.
27. Being your parent is my favorite job.
28. I'm learning new things from you every day.
29. You make me a better person.
30. I'm happy to have you here beside me.
31. I understand you, even if I don't agree with you.
32. I feel like you're becoming more mature every day.
33. That was very brave of you.
34. The way you asked for forgiveness made me realize how mature you are.
35. I'm proud of you for understanding you were wrong.
36. I knew you could do it.
37. I'm so happy you've decided to try again.
38. It's always important to me to listen to you.
39. Your existence fills my heart.
40. Remember, I'll never stop loving you!

Remember: Like everything else in life, it's important to know when and how to say these words. We also have to remember to say them, instead of just believing the child knows it already. These sayings are just suggestions, but they can help your children and grandchildren understand exactly what you are thinking and feeling, help them face challenges as well as improve your relationship with them.

Humor: Indian Inglis words!

10 English words used only by Indians since childhood days!

(Indian Inglis words!)
1. Mother PromiseFor ages, you have always used this word without even knowing if it was a legit word, haven't you? So we decided to burst your bubble! While the word 'promise' features in the Oxford Dictionary, there's no mention of 'mother promise'. Surprised? Wondering how 'mother promise' came into being. It's the literal English translation of 'ma kasam' or 'aai shapath'. The next time you want to stand by something you really mean, try using just 'promise'. You don't really need to drag your mother into everything, do you?

2. Cousin sister and cousin brotherAccording to the Oxford Dictionary a 'cousin' is a child of one's uncle or aunt. And Grammar Nazis would insist that the word 'cousin' does not need to be followed with words like 'sister' or 'brother'. Did you know that 'cousin sister or cousin brother' are words used only in India. The right way is just to say 'cousin'. Wondering how you'd get to know their gender. Well, that's what names are for, aren't they?
3. Good nameWhen Indians meet strangers, why do they ask the question, 'What's your GOOD NAME?' Every parent or grandparent who has named the child, does it with a GOOD intention. So there's nothing bad about a name. The next time you meet a stranger, you could say 'What's your name?'
4. Revert backNow this one's tricky! Because that's what you have been writing in e-mails, haven't you? Well according to The Free Dictionary 'revert' means 'to reply to someone'. Why use 'revert back' when you can just say 'revert'?
5. RubberIn India the 'eraser' is also called 'rubber'! But in the rest of the world, 'rubber' is a slang for 'condom'. Now it makes sense why your relatives and friends in foreign countries complain that people there burst out laughing when they ask for a 'rubber' instead of an 'eraser'.
6. PictureWhen was the last time you mentioned that you were going to 'watch a 'picture'?' No one really knows when 'picture' became synonymous with 'films' or 'movies' in India. According to the Oxford Dictionary, 'picture' means a drawing or painting. You could say 'I am going out to watch a movie or film'.
7. Mention notIsn't it funny that every time someone thanks an Indian, they quickly turn around and say 'mention not'. We are still scratching our heads wondering how the word originated and what it means. There are plenty of ways you can accept someone's thanks.You can use any of the following:
You're welcome.
It's my pleasure.
That's alright.
No problem.

8. Pass outHow is it that every Indian graduating from college is passing out? Confused? Let's tell you the difference. When you are really drunk and become unconscious, you 'pass out'. But when you refer to a successful completion of a course or training, you use the word 'graduate'.
9. CheatercockWe all have used this word in our childhood. Once, twice, thrice…we have lost count of the number of times we called someone a 'cheatercock'! But ever wondered what does the word mean? We are still wondering! According to the Oxford Dictionary, cheater is a person who acts dishonestly in order to gain advantage. Won't it be sufficient if we just said 'cheater'?
10. Would beHow would you introduce your fiance?
Amit: Hello uncle.
Uncle: Hello Amit.
Amit: Uncle, I would like to introduce you to my 'would be'.
Unfortunately Amit doesn't know that 'would be' means nothing.
If you want to introduce your to-be bride then simply use 'fiancee'. How easy is that!

10 Steps: How to Raise Happy Kids


How to Raise Happy Kids: 10 Steps


…happiness is a tremendous advantage in a world that emphasizes performance. On average, happy people are more successful than unhappy people at both work and love. They get better performance reviews, have more prestigious jobs, and earn higher salaries. They are more likely to get married, and once married, they are more satisfied with their marriage.
So looking at the science, what really works when it comes to raising happy kids?

Step 1: Get Happy Yourself

The first step to happier kids is, ironically, a little bit selfish.
How happy you are affects how happy and successful your kids are — dramatically.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Extensive research has established a substantial link between mothers who feel depressed and "negative outcomes" in their children, such as acting out and other behavior problems. Parental depression actually seems to cause behavioral problems in kids; it also makes our parenting less effective.
And this is not merely due to genetics.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
…although the study did find that happy parents are statistically more likely to have happy children, it couldn't find any genetic component.
So what's the first step to being a happier you? Take some time each week to have fun with friends.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Because laughter is contagious, hang out with friends or family members who are likely to be laughing themselves. Their laughter will get you laughing too, although it doesn't even need to in order to lighten your mood. Neuroscientists believe that hearing another person laugh triggers mirror neurons in a region of the brain that makes listeners feel as though they are actually laughing themselves.
More scientific methods for increasing your happiness here.

Step 2: Teach Them To Build Relationships

Nobody denies learning about relationships is important — but how many parents actually spend the time to teach kids how to relate to others?
(Just saying "Hey, knock it off" when kids don't get along really doesn't go far in building essential people skills.)
It doesn't take a lot. It can start with encouraging kids to perform small acts of kindness to build empathy.
This not only builds essential skills and makes your kids better people, research shows over the long haul it makes them happier.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Multiple sclerosis (MS) patients who were trained to provide compassionate, unconditional positive regard for other MS sufferers through monthly fifteen-minute telephone calls "showed pronounced improvement in self-confidence, self-esteem, depression, and role functioning" over two years. These helpers were especially protected against depression and anxiety.
More on creating good relationships here.

Step 3: Expect Effort, Not Perfection

Note to perfectionist helicopter parents and Tiger Moms: cool it.
Relentlessly banging the achievement drum messes kids up.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Parents who overemphasize achievement are more likely to have kids with high levels of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse compared to other kids.
The research is very consistent: Praise effort, not natural ability.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
The majority of the kids praised for their intelligence wanted the easier puzzle; they weren't going to risk making a mistake and losing their status as "smart." On the other hand, more than 90 percent of growth mind-set-encouraged kids chose a harder puzzle.
Why? Dweck explains: "When we praise children for the effort and hard work that leads to achievement, they want to keep engaging in that process. They are not diverted from the task of learning by a concern with how smart they might — or might not — look."
More on praising correctly here.

Step 4: Teach Optimism

Want to avoid dealing with a surly teenager? Then teach those pre-teens to look on the bright side.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Ten-year-olds who are taught how to think and interpret the world optimistically are half as prone to depression when they later go through puberty.
Author Christine Carter puts it simply: "Optimism is so closely related to happiness that the two can practically be equated."
She compares optimists to pessimists and finds optimists:
  1. Are more successful at school, work and athletics
  2. Are healthier and live longer
  3. End up more satisfied with their marriages
  4. Are less likely to deal with depression and anxiety
More on how to encourage optimism here.

Step 5: Teach Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a skill, not an inborn trait.
Thinking kids will just "naturally" come to understand their own emotions (let alone those of others) doesn't set them up for success.
A simple first step here is to "Empathize, Label and Validate" when they're struggling with anger or frustration.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Molly: "I am SO SO SO MAD AT YOU."
Me: "You are mad at me, very mad at me. Tell me about that. Are you also feeling disappointed because I won't let you have a playdate right now?"
Molly: "YES!! I want to have a playdate right NOW."
Me: "You seem sad." (Crawling into my lap, Molly whimpers a little and rests her head on my shoulder.)
Relate to the child, help them identify what they are feeling and let them know that those feelings are okay (even though bad behavior might not be).
More on active listening and labeling (and how hostage negotiators use this) here.

Step 6: Form Happiness Habits

We're on step 6 and it might seem like this is already a lot to remember for you — let alone for a child. We can overcome that with good habits.
Thinking through these methods is taxing but acting habitually is easy, once habits have been established.
How do you help kids build lasting happiness habits? Carter explains a few powerful methods backed by research:
  1. Stimulus removal: Get distractions and temptations out of the way.
  2. Make It Public: Establish goals to increase social support — and social pressure.
  3. One Goal At A Time: Too many goals overwhelms willpower, especially for kids. Solidify one habit before adding another.
  4. Keep At It: Don't expect perfection immediately. It takes time. There will be relapses. That's normal. Keep reinforcing.
More on developing good habits here.

Step 7: Teach Self-Discipline

Self-discipline in kids is more predictive of future success than intelligence — or most anything else, for that matter.
Yes, it's that famous marshmallow test all over again. Kids who better resisted temptation went on to much better lives years later and were happier.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
…preschoolers' ability to delay gratification–to wait for that second marshmallow–predicts intelligence, school success, and social skills in adolescence. This is at least in part because self-discipline facilitates learning and information processing. In addition, self-disciplined kids cope better with frustration and stress and tend to have a greater sense of social responsibility. In other words, self-discipline leads not just to school success and sitting nicely at the dinner table but to greater happiness, more friends and increased community engagement.
What's a good way to start teaching self-discipline? Help kids learn to distract themselves from temptation.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
One way to do it is to obscure the temptation–to physically cover up the tempting marshmallow. When a reward is covered up, 75 percent of kids in one study were able to wait a full fifteen minutes for the second marshmallow; none of the kids was able to wait this long when the reward was visible.
More on increasing self-discipline here.

Step 8: More Playtime

We read a lot about mindfulness and meditation these days — and both are quite powerful.
Getting kids to do them regularly however can be quite a challenge. What works almost as well?
More playtime.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Most kids already practice mindfulness — fully enjoying the present moment — when they play. but kids today spend less time playing both indoors and out… All told, over the last two decades, children have lost eight hours per week of free, unstructured, and spontaneous play…
Playtime isn't just goofing off. It's essential to helping kids grow and learn.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Researchers believe that this dramatic drop in unstructured playtime is in part responsible for slowing kids cognitive and emotional development… In addition to helping kids learn to self-regulate, child-led, unstructured play (with or without adults) promoted intellectual, physical, social, and emotional well-being. Unstructured play helps children learn how to work in groups, to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, regulate their emotions and behavior, and speak up for themselves.
No strict instructions are necessary here: Budget more time for your kids to just get outside and simply play.
More on the power of playing (for kids and adults) here.

Step 9: Rig Their Environment For Happiness

We don't like to admit it, but we're all very much influenced by our environment – often more than we realize.
Your efforts will be constrained by time and effort, while context affects us (and children) constantly.
What's a simple way to better control a child's surroundings and let your deliberate happiness efforts have maximum effect?
Less TV.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
…research demonstrates a strong link between happiness and not watching television. Sociologists show that happier people tend to watch considerably less television than unhappy people. We don't know whether TV makes people unhappy, or if already unhappy people watch more TV. But we do know that there are a lot of activities that will help our kids develop into happy, well-adjusted individuals. If our kids are watching TV, they aren't doing those things that could be making them happier in the long run.
More non-television happiness activities are here.

Step 10: Eat Dinner Together

Sometimes all science does is validate those things our grandparents knew all along. Yes, family dinner matters.
This simple tradition helps mold better kids and makes them happier too.
Via Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents:
Studies show that kids who eat dinner with their families on a regular basis are more emotionally stable and less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. They got better grades. they have fewer depressive symptoms, particularly among adolescent girls. And they are less likely to become obese or have an eating disorder. Family dinners even trump reading to your kids in terms of preparing them for school. And these associations hold even after researchers control for family connectedness…
More on the power of family dinners here.

Sum Up

Here are the ten steps:
  1. Get Happy Yourself
  2. Teach Them To Build Relationships
  3. Expect Effort, Not Perfection
  4. Teach Optimism
  5. Teach Emotional Intelligence
  6. Form Happiness Habits
  7. Teach Self-Discipline
  8. More Playtime
  9. Rig Their Environment For Happiness
  10. Eat Dinner Together
We're often more open to new methods when it comes to work and careers, but ignoring tips when it comes to family is a mistake.
The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.
- Harold B. Lee
I hope this post helps your family be happier.