Blog Archive

Some Quotes from the Wise



 
If Only People Would Learn To Talk To One Another
 
Instead Of Talking About One Another .....
 
 
 
When People Walk Away From You, Let Them Go.
 
Your Destiny Is Never Tied To Anyone Who Leaves You.
 
It Doesn't Mean They Are Bad People.
 
It Just Means That Their Part In Your Story Is Over.. !
 
 
 
People nowadays are like Bluetooth,
 
If you stay close they stay connected,
 
If you go away they find new devices...
 
 
 
Human Life Would Be Perfect If...
 
Anger Had A STOP Button
 
Mistakes Had A REWIND Button
 
Hard Times Had A FORWARD Button
 
And Good Times A PAUSE Button !!
 
 
 
Always Welcome Your Problems,
 
Because Problems Gives You Dual Advice,
 
Firstly, You Can Know How To Solve Them,
 
Secondly, You Learn How To Avoid Them In Future,
 
Have Faith In GOD And Yourself!
 
 
 
Reflection Cannot Be Seen In Boiling Water,
 
In The Same Way,
 
Truth Cannot Be Seen In A State Of Anger !
 
Analyze Before You Finalize.
 
 
 
Success Is Like A Beautiful Lover
 
It Will Leave Us At Anytime,
 
But Failure Is Like A Mother
 
It Will Teach Us Some Important Lessons Of Life!
 
 
 
A Good Heart Can Win Many Relationships,
 
A Good Nature Can Win Many Good Hearts!
 
 
 
A TOUCH Could HEAL A Wound
 
An Eye Could SPEAK Volumes
 
A SMILE Can Confirm I AM THERE !!
 
 
 
The Bird Asked The Bumblebee:
 
"You Work So Hard To Make The Honey And Humans Just Take It Away,
 
Doesn't It Make You Feel Bad?"
 
"No," Said The Bee, "Because They Will Never
 
Take From Me The Art Of Making It."











.

__,_._,___

What's Your Real Wealth and How Are You Going to Earn It?


By Junaid Tahir
I have noticed people thinking/talking about money all the times. The people are so much concerned about money that they count every single penny they have spent or going to spend. When I ask about this, their answer usually is that saving money is associated with the economical richness which is linked with their future happiness. This is fine however there are several catches which should be considered in parallel; for example, if one is saving money by:
1-    compromising on health (eating less or eating bad quality food or not eating healthy diet to save money). Is this a good deal in the long run?
2-   Not spending on his family's needs so depriving them from their rights.  Is this a good idea?
3-   Not giving gifts to his family members, consequently straining the family relationships which results in tense environment at home. Is this a good deal?
4-   Not visiting friends and other family members so jeopardizing the social life. Is this a good way of living?
5-   Not paying taxes to government so committing crime which is punishable in this world and hereafter.
6-   Not paying Zakat/charity so depriving the less fortunate to enjoy the life and polluting the whole income and join the gang who are not in good books of Lord.

While analyzing the scenario of association of money with Happiness, I had these questions in my mind. What is the real definition of richness? Is this only money which one should be craving about? Or there are other things which need to ponder as well? Can wealth make me happy? What is real wealth? While thinking about the answers I concluded that there are four things which can make me happy. 1) Good Family Relations 2) Good Official Life 3) Good economical status 4) Good social Life. While thinking about Wealth, I ended up with having these types of wealth:

1-    Physical Wealth
This is a great blessing indeed. If my major body parts are functional, nothing like that. I already posses loads of wealth. Imagine a millionaire having a plastic leg or hand. What if Lord offers you to exchange a million dollars at the cost of your eye or Leg? Off course you would never go for that option. So you have to feel happy about being healthy as this is amazing blessing. I would highly recommend not saving money at the cost of my health. And If you do it today, you will do it reverse as well, that means, you will be spending the same money to recover your health  but off course with all the side effects of bad health.

2-   Family Wealth
Family wealth means having healthy family relationships may it be with mother or spouse or kids. This is something extremely important to which everyone should work considering the fact that a major percentage of our life is spent with the family members. Keeping your family happy does not involve a lot of money expense hence you can keep your family happy by small good deeds even. For example, eating ice cream at the end of the day with all family, taking family to a park on weekend, sharing jokes before going to bed and/or bringing small nice gifts can make big difference for making family bonds stronger and stronger whereby increasing Family Wealth.

3-   Inner Wealth
This is something which controls your emotions, your behavior, your character and definitely your destiny. Being optimistic, problem solver and positive thinker will make you a super hero in true colors. These qualities can bring about superb results and would control your peace of mind ultimately. Always remember: No one is in-charge of your happiness, except you. So control your thoughts and have a healthy "Inner Wealth" bank account.

4-   Career Wealth
A positive environment, a nice colleague at work, a genuine team leader and a mature department head are real blessings. But sometimes you won't get all these in one package as it is said that you can select your friend but cant select your Team Leader or Director. However you can learn to manage your office environment up to large extent, you can manage your time and work load. You can have a balanced work-home load. You can sharp your skills by reading/trainings etc. Career Wealth is something which cannot be ignored while striving for happiness. There is load of information on internet which you can read to improve your "Career Wealth". Google it.

5-   Economical Wealth
I believe I don't need to write any specific thing in this category as everyone already working on it day to day. I must say that economical savings should never be done at the cost of your Physical Wealth or Family Wealth. Further, we should always put aside a small percentage of money (say 5%) for social causes (hospital, helping needy families, spending on less fortunate people and other charity causes). From a religious perspective, every single penny you spend in God's way is being saved in your "Next" Bank Account and you are going to get the benefit up to so many time based on your intensions and offcourse this results in Blessings in your family !!!

6-   Impact Wealth
This is something different from other categories. Do you have a wealthy mental approach so that you do something for society. Everyone lives for himself but do you live for others? Are you helping person? Are you taking part in any social causes? Helping others gives real peace of mind and happiness so in my opinion it is a type of wealth. So how much Impact Wealth do you own? 


Conclusion: Life is all about love and peace. We have to have simple rules for living. Complications arise when we start taking life too seriously by thinking about our wants too much. We have to live more with our Needs than our Wants J

Article written by Junaid Tahir


Junaid Tahir, a telecom engineer and a blogger, writes articles on wisdom, happiness and stress management at his personal blog. His personal Google Group can be joined here. He is reachable at mjunaidtahir@gmail.com for any kind of suggestions and comments.


10 Common Mistakes Parents Today Make


When I became a mom, I got lots of advice on how to love my child. But not until a few years ago did someone actually point out that loving a child means wanting what's best for them long-term.

When my four daughters were young, long-term didn't resonate with me. Back then it was about survival, meeting daily needs and keeping my head above water.

These days, I put more thought into long-term. I think about the kind of adults I hope my children will be and work backward to ask, "What can I do today to foster that?" Being mindful of their future has changed my parenting paradigm, because what makes my children happy at age 10 or 15 is somewhat different from what will make them happy at age 25, 30, 40 and beyond.

A while back I came across some interesting articles and books that dig into what psychologists today are seeing: a rising number of 20-somethings who are depressed and don't know why. These young adults claim they had magical childhoods. Their parents are their best friends. They never experienced tragedy or anything more than normal disappointments. Yet for some reason, they're unhappy.

One reason given is that parents today are too quick to swoop in. We don't want our children to fall, so instead of letting them experience adversity, we clear the path. We remove obstacles to make their life easy. But adversity is a part of life, and only by facing it can our children build life-coping skills they'll need down the road. So while it seems like we're doing them a favor, we're really stunting their growth. We're putting short-term payoffs over long-term well-being.

2014-02-09-children2.jpg

One article mentions incoming college freshmen known to deans as "teacups" for their fragility in the face of minor problems. The question posed was this: "Could it be that by protecting our kids from unhappiness as children, we're depriving them of happiness as adults?"

Here's psychiatrist Paul Bohn's response, as paraphrased in the piece:

[M]any parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment -- "anything less than pleasant," as he puts it -- with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.

Why am I sharing this information? Because I think it's relevant in this age of helicopter parenting. While I find it great that today's parents are more invested in their children's lives than previous generations, our involvement can go overboard. What we may justify as "good parenting" can hurt our children later. Unless we're mindful of that, it's easy to handicap them by making their lives too easy.

As my favorite parenting philosophy goes: "Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child."

With this said, I've outlined 10 common mistakes that parents today -- me included -- often make. My intention isn't to point fingers, but to raise awareness. What may be ingrained in our culture is not always in the best interest of our kids.

Mistake #10: Too much caring our children. Many of us live in child-centered communities. We're raising our kids in child-centered homes. Our children love this, of course, because our lives revolve around them. And for the most part we don't mind either, because their happiness is our happiness. It thrills us to do for them, buy for them, and shower them with love and attention.

But I think it's important to keep in mind that our children were made to be loved, not toooo much pampered. So when we treat them like the center of the universe, turning a good into an ultimate. Rather than kid-centered homes, we should strive for God-centered homes. Our children will still be loved, only in a better way, one that promotes selflessness over selfishness.

Mistake #9: Believing our children are perfect. One thing I often hear from professionals who work with children (counselors, teachers, etc.) is that parents today don't want to hear anything negative about their kids. When concerns are raised, even concerns voiced out of love, the knee-jerk reaction is often to attack the messenger.

The truth can hurt, but when we listen with an open heart and mind we stand to benefit. We can intervene early before a situation gets out of hand. It's easier to deal with a troubled child than repair a broken adult.

As a Children's of Alabama psychiatrist recently told me when I interviewed her on teenage depression, early intervention is key because it can change the trajectory for the child's life. She said that's why she enjoys child and adolescent psychiatry -- because kids are resilient, and it's a lot easier to intervene effectively when they're young instead of years later, when the problem has gone on so long it's become incorporated into part of their identity.

Mistake #8: Living vicariously through our children. We parents take great pride in our children. When they succeed, it makes us happier than if we'd done it ourselves.

But if we're overly involved and invested in their lives, it gets hard to see where they end and we begin. When our children become extensions of us, we may see them as our second chance. Suddenly it's not about them, it's about us. This is where their happiness starts getting confused with our happiness.

Mistake #7: Wanting to be our child's Best Friend. When I asked a priest to name the biggest mistake he sees in parenting, he thought for a moment and then said, "Parents not being parents. Not stepping up to the plate to do hard things."

Like everyone, I want my children to love me. I want them to sing my praises and appreciate me. But if I'm doing my job right, they'll get mad and not like me sometimes. They'll roll their eyes, moan and groan, and wish they'd been born into another family.

Seeking to be our child's Best Friend can only lead to permissiveness and choices made out of desperation because we fear losing their approval. That's not love on our end; that's need.

Mistake #6: Engaging in competitive parenting. Every parent has a competitive streak. All it takes to stir this monster in us is another parent giving his or her child a leg up at our child's expense.

I hear these stories a lot at the junior high and high school levels, stories of broken friendships and betrayals due to one family blindsiding another family. In my opinion, the root is fear. We fear our children will get left behind. We fear that if we don't jump into the craziness, and pull out every stop to help them excel early, they'll be stuck in mediocrity the rest of their life.

I believe children need to work hard and understand that dreams don't come on a silver platter; they have to sweat and fight for them. But when we instill a "win at all costs" attitude, permitting them to throw anyone under the bus to get ahead, we lose sight of character.

Character may not seem important in adolescence, but in adulthood it's everything.

Mistake #5: Missing the wonder of childhood. The other day I found a Strawberry Shortcake sticker on my kitchen sink. It reminded me how blessed I am to share my home with little people.

One day there won't be stickers on my sink. There won't be Barbies in my bathtub, baby dolls on my bed or Mary Poppins in the DVD player. My windows will be clear of sticky handprints, and my home will be quiet because my daughters will be hanging out with friends instead of nesting at home with me.

Raising small children can be hard, monotonous work. At times it's so physically and emotionally exhausting we wish they were older to make our life easier. We're also kind of curious who they'll grow up to be. What will be their passion? Will their God-given gifts be clear? As parents we hope so, for knowing which strengths to nurture enables us to point them in the right direction.

But as we project into the future, wondering if our child's knack for art will make them a Picasso, or if their melodic voice will create a Taylor Swift, we may forget to soak up the splendor in front of us: toddlers in footed pajamas, bedtime stories, tummy tickles and elated squeals. We may forget to let our children be little and enjoy the one childhood they're given.

The pressures on kids start way too early. If we really want our kids to have a leg up, we need to protect them from these pressures. We need to let them have fun and grow at their own pace so 1) they can explore their interests without fear of failure and 2) they don't get burned out.

Childhood is a time for free play and discovery. When we rush children through it, we rob them of an innocent age they'll never pass through again.

Mistake #4: Raising the child we want, not the child we have. As parents we harbor dreams for our children. They start when we get pregnant, before the gender's even known. Secretly we hope they'll be like us, only smarter and more talented. We want to be their mentors, putting our life experiences to good use.

But the irony of parenting is that children turn our molds upside down. They come out wired in ways we never anticipated. Our job is to figure out their inherent, God-ordained bent and train them in that direction. Forcing our dreams on them won't work. Only when we see them for who they are can we impact their life powerfully.

Mistake #3: Forgetting our actions speak louder than words. Sometimes when my kids ask a question, they'll say, "Please answer in one sentence." They know me well, for I'm always trying to squeeze life lessons into teachable moments. I want to fill them with wisdom, but what I forget is how my example overshadows my words.

How I handle rejection and adversity... how I treat friends and strangers... whether I nag or build up their father... they notice these things. And the way I respond gives them permission to act the same.

If I want my children to be wonderful, I need to aim for wonderful, too. I need to be the person I hope they'll be.

Mistake #2: Judging other parents -- and their kids. No matter how much we disagree with someone's parenting style, it's not our place to judge. Nobody in this world is "all good" or "all bad"; we're all a mix of both, a community of sinners struggling with different demons.

Personally, I tend to cut other parents more slack when I'm going through hard spells. When my child is testing me, I'm compassionate to parents in the same boat. When my life is overwhelming, I'm forgiving of others who slip up and let things fall through the cracks.

We never know what someone's going through or when we'll need mercy ourselves. And while we can't control judgmental thoughts, we can cut them short by seeking to understand the person instead of jumping to conclusions.

Mistake #1: Underestimating CHARACTER. If there's one thing I hope to get right in my children, it's their CORE. Character, moral fiber, an inner compass... these things lay the foundation for a happy, healthy future. They matter more than any report card or trophy ever will.

None of us can force character on our kids, and at age 10 or 15 character won't mean much. Children care about short-term gratification, but we, as parents, know better. We know that what will matter at 25, 30 and 40 is not how far they once threw the football, or whether they made cheerleader, but how they treat others and what they think of themselves. If we want them to build character, confidence, strength and resilience, we need to let them face adversity and experience the pride that follows when they come out stronger on the other side.

It's hard to see our children fall, but sometimes we have to. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves whether intervening is in their best interest. There are a million ways to love a child, but in our quest to make them happy, let us stay mindful that sometimes it takes short-term pain to earn long-term gain.



This post originally appeared on karikampakis.com.

An Introduction to Professional Consultants




By Junaid Tahir:
Management consultants help organizations improving their business index in term of better performance, higher customer satisfaction, healthier practices implementation, tweaking strategies and management paradigms, enhanced skill sets of team members, concrete grip on internal process flows and identifying the key areas where improvements are required to be implemented. (You may want to read management consultants' role HERE). Below is the list of specific traits, management consultants are required to possess:

C-Competent – They are up to date with the industry. They are competent enough to understand the problems their client is facing. They have specialised soft and hard tools to ensure thorough audits and ensure continuous improvement.

O-Organized – They understand that staying Organized helps in many ways in terms of time saving, avoiding panic situation, better customer satisfaction and so on. Ensure accessibility of information by keeping documentation, processes and data arranged.

N-Niche Specialist – They are specialists of the domain. Having thorough knowledge, deep level wisdom, in sync with industry activities they ensure they are on top of it when their customers engage them in any sort of discussion related to the niche.  

S-Supportive – The consultants help ensure implementation and governance of processes and recommendations based on their audit and analysis. They understand that their customers' success is their success so they strive to support their customers for anything which might help cause improvement in the business domain.

U-Unbiased—With their focus on overall improvement and having belief in supremacy of policies they ensure they are not biased to any person. Though they take into account the sensitivity of the stance taken by different stake holders.

L-Listeners – They understand that effective listening is part of effective communication. They are empathic listeners so that they understand the core of the challenges with the belief in the philosophy of 'customer comes first'

T-Trust Worthy – Winning target is easy, winning customers/people is tough. By becoming trust worthy the consultants make their place in the heart and mind of their customers and develop permanent long-term relationship which is mutually benefit for both the parties. So the consultants develop trust by their consistent candid behaviour, by empathic listening, by giving the right advice, by judging the people fairly and eventually treating them fairly.

A-Analytical – This is the most critical skill all consultants must have. The prime purpose for the Analysis of any given situation is to get to know the root cause(s) of the issue, to forecast the impact and to plan corrective/preventive actions strategy. So basically analytical skill is to visualize a given situation, task, project or issue from several angles in order to breakdown it into smaller steps. Breakdown the big problem in smaller ones and fix one by one. The consultants consider the situation from multiple angles including Statistical, Financial, Operational and Social perspectives in order to come up with the most effective recommendations about the situation, task or project.

N-North Bound Thinkers – with the belief in continuous improvement they always think upwards. They think about perfection from Cost optimization, Quality assurance, Scope control, fault reduction, resource optimization and so on. 

T-Time Bound – The consultants fully understand the value of time and sensitivity of market trends hence they ensure brisk audits, fast but sound analysis, controlled implementation of new recommendations by effective delegation.  

S-Strategic – Consultants are Visionary. They begin with the end in mind. They see the future today and align their strategies based on their knowledge, experience, market study and risk analysis.
The consultants having these qualities can bring flying colour success to any organization
they work for
or any project they are assigned to.

Some articles you may like:

About Author: Junaid Tahir is a passionate blogger. He writes articles on Leadership, Stress Management and Life Enhancement subjects at his personal blog
 Follow me on Twitter  View my profile on LinkedIn  Like my page on Facebook  Read my articles on my personal blog  Subscribe to my Feed  Visit my Google+ Page

7 Qualities of Highly Ethical People


By Junaid Tahir:


People are ethical because of social norms, religious beliefs and laws. Ethical foundations in an individual define the way he lives the life by differentiating between right and wrong and behave in a way which improves the situation directly or indirectly however doesn't harm it at any cost. Ethics have been defined by relevant governmental and religious authorities for several domains of life however below article occupies 'blanket' coverage for all norms of life.
Below are top seven qualities of highly ethical people.

1-     They are Empathic: Ethical people have high degree of emotional intelligence. They understand things from multiple perspectives covering all the direct and indirect stake holders.. They seek first to understand than to be understood. They have strong observatory, listening and analytical skills to understand things deeply. This quality makes them unique which enables them to win the trust of others; consequently, people share their problems with them with open heart and seek their support.

2-    They Forgive and Forget: It requires a brave heart to forgive and forget. Ethical people don't keep grudges for long duration. They have the tendency to establish peace all the times hence keeping the brawls open does not suit them. They stay away from such complications and move ahead with life by forgiving and forgetting the matters.
3-    They are Always willing to Help: Highly Ethical people always want to improve the situation regardless of their relationship with a person who is in trouble. They take either corrective, preventive or suggestive initiatives for resolving issues. Corrective approach ensures that the matter is fixed by doing some specific actions. Preventive approach guarantees that such particular matters do not appear again. They use preventive approach to reach the root cause of the issue so as to fix it permanently so as to avoid further frequency of such incidents. Suggestive methodology is used by them for guiding someone to do some specific act in order to overcome a tragic situation.      

4-    They are Implosive: Ethical people are not hyper sensitive or explosive personalities. They possess a cool mind and a soft heart. They avoid frequent mood swings in order to develop a consistent and stable personality. They handle indecencies with decency. They know how to ignore hard and harsh comments and still converse softly. They know how to handle idiotic situations. They have high degree of anger management skills which further empowers their implosive personality trait.  
5-    They Mind Their Own Business: A lot of people have the habit of having serious curiosity about every other person's life. This habit causes them talk about people too much, spreading rumors and scattering false news in the society without any verification. Unlike those, ethical People do not interfere in others' lives unnecessarily; they mind their own business. Ethical people understand the fact the character assassination is equally a great sin so they don't give attention to rumors and focus on crystal clear matters; and avoid peeping into others' personal matters.

6-    They are Flexible & adaptable: The wise says, it is better to bend than to break. Ethical people possess a great deal of elasticity. They adapt themselves according to the situation. They don't stick to one mind set. Their continuous thought process enables them to change their minds easily in order to improve a situation without making it a matter of ego. They are not stubborn at all instead portray a flexible behavior in all kind of tough situations.
7-    They Do not criticize: Too much criticism is the root of several social and professional problems. Ethical people do not criticize at first place. In case they need to condemn or criticize something they follow a positive methodology to approach the relevant person and advice in a way which doesn't hurt anyone and convey the message in an effective way.

What are the other traits of highly effective people?


Some recommended articles:



Junaid Tahir, Project Manager and a blogger, writes articles on wisdom, happiness and stress management at his personal blog. He is reachable at mjunaidtahir @ -gmail -. com for suggestions and comments.
 Follow me on Twitter  View my profile on LinkedIn  Like my page on Facebook  Read my articles on my personal blog  Subscribe to my Feed  Visit my Google+ Page

Conscience - Your Great Companion


By Junaid Tahir:
Nature has awarded us
with such a great tool called conscience. 
It generates positive and negative signals for the actions you perform. 

When you buy food for the hungry with sincerity,
when you give some money to an orphan with love,
when you pay the education fee for a poor student, 
when you give some money to a free services hospital,
your conscience sends you a thank you signal and you feel good about yourself which gives birth to your 'inner' satisfaction.

It is said that you don't really achieve deep happiness by spending on yourself; you get it when you spend on others !!! And even you achieve greater degree of contentment when you spare your time from your busy life, visit any orphans or widows place, hospitals and other deserving people of society and then spend your money on them.


From religious perspective, I believe that almost all of the religions have defined the principle of spending on humanity in order to get tranquillity, serenity and prosperity. However, we the unfortunate people, the materialistic minds, keep calculating our money and assets several times a day which increases our greed level and eventually deprives us from peace of mind. It won't be wrong if I say that our extreme love for money and being materialistic is the real killer of our happiness.
To cope up with this, the wise people highly recommended to allocate a little portion (5% of your earnings) for the genuine causes. 

While the conscience claps for our good acts, it must generate red signals for our bad acts too. And if that is not happening then something is seriously wrong in our roots of faith. Considering the fact that a clean and active conscience is the best pillow, we must empower it by more positive acts as well as with daily self audits when our head is on the pillow at the end of each day.

Some article you may like:


About Author: Junaid Tahir is a passionate blogger. He writes articles on Leadership, Stress Management and Life Enhancement subjects at his personal blog
 Follow me on Twitter  View my profile on LinkedIn  Like my page on Facebook  Read my articles on my personal blog  Subscribe to my Feed  Visit my Google+ Page

Popular Posts