Blog Archive

Story: The Woman and the Bread

 A woman baked chapatti (roti) for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapatti on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away. Every day, a hunchback came and took away the chapatti. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: "The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and uttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The woman felt irritated. "Not a word of gratitude," she said to herself... 

"Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?" One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. "I shall get rid of this hunchback," she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chapatti she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. "What is this I am doing?" she said. Immediately, she threw the chapatti into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and muttered the words: "The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman. 

Every day, as the woman placed the chapatti on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return. That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, "Mom, it's a miracle I'm here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapatti. As he gave it to me, he said, "This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!" " As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. 

She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapatti that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realized the significance of the words:
"The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!" 
Do good and Don't ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time. 

If you like this, share it with others and I bet so many lives would be touched

7 Tips to Attain Peace of Mind


By Junaid Tahir:

When you were child you had a pure mind; the mind which was free from worries and anxieties. As the time passed, you were influenced by several social, personal, familial and official crises such as financial complications, broken relationship, lack of trust, joblessness, failure in business, loss of respect and so on. When the mind is stressful, the associated germs of negativity, jealousy and pessimism add fuel to fire and hence your pure mind becomes impure. These impurities if taken out can bring back the mental purity hence real spirit of joy of childhood can be attained up to an adequate level.  Off course you cannot fix all of your problem at once but you can train your mind to develop the skills which can help either bypass or overcome the depressed  and tragic situations so as to give you a big time relaxation while you focus on the solution to your problems. Below are some techniques which can be used to combat the peace stealing triggers:
  1. Mind your own business. Yes, please mind your own business. When you start being concerned about things which are not related to you, you lose your grip on your thought process which often results in negativity disturbing the mental peace. Basically, your mind starts wandering here and there. As you know that a non-focused mind is evil's workshop hence the germs of negativity and jealousy gain more strength. So next time an unnecessary thought comes to your mind, think whether this is really something you should be worrying for? If not, shun it right away and focus on something positive, practical and fruitful.  Article by Junaid.Tahir
  2. Surround yourself in positive people. Ignore negative comments and stay away from negative souls. When someone is negative, he spreads negativity and you get affected. Permanently staying with such people will have long term impact on your character so think about your company.
  3. Don't think about others too much. Remember the great quote: small minds discuss people; Average minds discuss events; Higher minds discuss ideas and Great minds act in silence. Don't allow your brain to compare yourself to others as this is an insult to yourself. Don't be Jealous; it's a heart killing disease, get rid of it as soon as possible. When you are jealous you focus on finding faultsin others even if they don't have. This poisons your soul and steals the mental peace.  Article by Junaid.Tahir
  4. You can't keep everyone happy. Don't be over sensitive. Be natural and genuine in what you do. Be positive, constructive and ethical in your deeds and then don't really care too much about others. Be aware, don't apply this formula to too closed relations. Develop trust to establish powerful relationships.
  5. Control your mood swings as it is an indication of unstable personality. Do it by not being over sensitive to others. Stop being reactive and implosive. Stay calm.
  6. Ignore your thoughts about being unlucky. Bad luck happens to everyone. It's not your fault at all. Time whether good or bad, passes quickly. Develop the power of not looking back into your past. Believe in the power of Now.  Believe in your skills. Work hard and have faith in God; you will get what you have been entitled for. Be patient and see what God has planned for you. Patience and consistency in your deeds is the key to success.
  7. Simplicity in your character and living style can overcome the stress and improve your happiness index. Don't be socially sensitive and start following every single trend your social circle is following.  
With these recommendations, I believe you can bring major changes in your life style hence attain back your mental peace. What are your recommendations in gaining mental peace?

Things You Never Hear Successful People Say

By Ekaterina Walter | Forbes – Fri, Apr 11, 2014
Why are some people more successful than others? Why some feel accomplished while others feel like they are stuck in career rut? The answer is – their vocabulary. Though, granted, your vocabulary is heavily dependent on your mentality and the way you see your life, both personal and professional.
Here are the things you will probably never hear successful people say and the reasons why that’s the case:

It’s impossible!
“This can’t be done” is just not in their DNA. Successful people know that there is always a solution to any problem. Sometimes you’ll have to get creative, but there is no such thing as impossible. And when the goal seems too huge to accomplish, they tackle it in little pieces – they know that a lot of small steps eventually lead you to the top of the highest mountain.

I don’t care!
Passion, on the other hand, is in their DNA. You will never hear innovators say “I hate my job!” or “I don’t care!” If you don’t have this key ingredient – passion coupled with vision – you will never be able to overcome challenges and take risks to push the envelope, innovate, and grow your business.

Stop asking questions!
Smart people know that there is no such thing as a “silly question.” They know that as soon as curiosity halts and we stop asking questions, the radical innovation ends. Some of the most distinguished leaders, such as Steve Jobs and James Dyson, encouraged their teams to consistently question the way they should do things and challenge conventional wisdom. Their favorite questions are” “Why?” “Why not?” “What if?”

Why should I be the one doing this?
In any business, especially in a growing business, multiple people have to wear multiple hats. What’s more, those people to voluntarily identify gaps and take on filling them are usually the ones that get the most visibility internally, get to grow their responsibilities and teams the most, and ultimately get to build something truly amazing. “But it’s not my job to do this” is just not in their vocabulary.

I don’t think we should change the way we do things.
Visionary people always challenge the way things are done. They find better, quicker, more effective ways to accomplish tasks and execute on the right strategies. They push themselves into the areas they may not be comfortable with just so that they could continue to evolve and help their teams stay on the cutting edge. They understand that change is necessary and that comfortably resting on their laurels is not the path that’ll lead to continuous success.

Thank you, but I am not looking for any feedback.
To truly succeed one has to be open to new experiences, new ideas, and new perspectives. One has to always be open to feedback: on how you are executing, how you are shaping your vision, how you are leading. Those who are constantly open to feedback not only get the respect of their teams and colleagues, but also get an invaluable chance to look at themselves through the eyes of others. None of us are perfect, we all can use feedback to help us grow. At the end of the day you have to be yourself, there are some things you might not want to change. But sometimes feedback and diverse perspective can help shape the way you communicate with others or approach projects in a positive way.

But what if we fail?
Failure is just a part of business as usual. James Dyson failed 5,126 times before he created his famous bagless vacuum cleaner. Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times before he invented the light bulb. For them, failure was just another solid stepping stone to an amazing discovery, another necessary checkmark of what not to do. Successful people are not afraid to fail. They know it’s only the matter of time they do fail (everybody does), but that doesn’t stop them from innovating and trying out new things.

I know better!
There is no such thing as a self-made man. Behind every successful person is a smart team. Success is a team sport. Building a great team around your vision means admitting that you don’t know everything and hiring people that fill in the gaps in your knowledge, experience, and perspective, and trusting them to help you build something extraordinary.

But that’s just too hard.
People who achieve the most in their lives never take an easy way out at the times when it truly counts. They have the passion, the perseverance, and the grit to shape the new path. Being the first and conquering new roads is never easy. And sometimes you do have to learn from other people’s mistakes and successes to help shape your path. But at the end of the day, when the critical time comes to shape their own destiny, successful people never chose the path of less resistance.

Junaid Tahir
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Act in this moment

Let yourself see the potential value in this moment. Open yourself to the opportunities in this day.

You are immersed in a sea of abundance, and it is up to you to make meaningful value out of it. You have the power to make a positive difference, so allow yourself to do so.

Take a moment to consider all the good and powerful possibilities that are within your reach right now. Remind yourself of what a shame it would be to let those possibilities go unfulfilled.

This is a day that's like no other, and a day that will never be here again. It's a day that can add enormous value to your life and your world, but only if you make use of it while it's here.

Breathe in deeply, and fill your awareness with a fresh, invigorating sense of possibility. Feel your useful, beneficial power, and make the choice to immediately engage that power.

Act in this moment, on this day, with love, purpose and passion. And capture the unique value that this day offers for all of life.

Ralph Marston - The Daily Motivator

Junaid Tahir

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Love or Selfishness

When you have love for others, you will have good wishes for them. Your desire to change them will then be for their good and not for your own selfishness. Others will quickly respond to your unselfish love and you will find them changing.

Think of one person you want to bring about a change in. Before you think of changing that person let there be a lot of love for that person in your mind. Also make sure the change you want in the other person is for his own good and not for your own selfish reason

Are You A Responsible Citizen?


While we are busy in enjoying our lives with our families and friends, it's almost mandatory to consider our role for the improvement of our environment, our surroundings and less fortunate community members.  In my personal opinion, it's not something which should be requested by the government, instead it's a prime duty of every responsible citizen. In fact, this is the 'virtual' tax which every citizen should pay back to the society for the services which he/she enjoys in routine life. This article is sort of a self-audit guide which covers some of the critical aspects of social responsibilities on the basis of which you can analyze yourself on whether you are a responsible community member:
1.   Do I observe people around me who need financial needs? Do I assist them in their crisis?
2.  Do I visit any orphan, old age houses or any hospitals once in a month to help the needful people?
3.  Do I take care of environment by using recyclable things?
4.  Do I encourage others (including my children) to throw garbage only in the dedicated bins?
5.  Whatever skills I have (doctor, engineer, lawyer etc), Do I do any free of cost service to the needful society members every month? Article written by Junaid.Tahir
6.  Do I contribute in charity projects on monthly basis?
7.  Have I ever donated blood?
8.  Do I stop the evil and contribute to the good? (Stopping sometimes does not mean stopping by hand, it means involving the relevant Law and Order authorities to address the issue)

If answer to any or some of these questions is NO, then it's time to start performing your civic responsibilities starting today. The first thing you can do right now is to share this article to others and generate a ripple effect.
Remember, if everyone of us start playing his/her role, we can bring peace, happiness and prosperity on earth !

Professional: Negotiate To Win

by A. J. Schuler, Psy. D.

Negotiation Skills Tip #1:

First Agree on the Terms and Scope of the Dispute

Lots of negotiations get off to the wrong start because the parties involved have not taken the time to define clearly the areas where they disagree.  Very often, parties will rush toward gaining positional advantage over what they see the main issue to be, but before there is real agreement on which issues are at stake, no real agreement is possible.  To increase your negotiation skills:

  • Define where all parties agree and disagree - the main sticking points become apparent and areas of possible agreement come to light. 
  • Discover possible areas of agreement - it sets a more balanced tone as all parties proceed further. 
  • Define the scope of the dispute - you have already begun to take subtle control of the following negotiating process. 

Negotiaion Skills Tip #2:

See Yourself from the Other Party’s Point of View

"Empathy" does not mean soft, emotional feelings of affection - it means the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes, to see the world from his/her point of view. 

Empathy does not require "sympathy," it only requires understanding. 

You can agree or disagree with whatever the other party sees or believes, but you will do well to understand it.  By understanding it, you will have the advantage in knowing how to present what you seek as a fair outcome in terms that the other party will be able to accept and understand, rather than fear. 

Negotiation Skills Tip #3:

See the Other Party from Their Point of View

You will be most successful if you can advance your position so the other party can still maintain the "ego" beliefs they hold most important.

“Tact is the ability to see others as they see themselves” - Abraham Lincoln

For example, if the other parties see themselves as "tough negotiators," find ways during the process to emphasize their "toughness" - directly or, (better yet) indirectly - especially when you are making progress in advancing your position.

Negotiation Skills Tip #4:

Be Honest, and Get Your Facts Right

You can't negotiate successfully if you lose or lack credibility.  Never knowingly make a false statement or assertion, but even that is not enough. Very often, successful negotiation come down to having more - and more accurate - information than the other party. For that reason, be sure to do your homework, so that you can speak of many facets of the issues at hand with confidence.

Negotiation Skills Tip #5:

Use Silence To Your Advantage

Loud displays, or "blowing off steam" will almost always work to your disadvantage.  Experienced negotiators who use such styles know how to feign such emotions at strategic points in time, in a purposeful fashion.  So stay cool. A corollary to this rule involves the use of silence.  It is a natural human reaction, especially during conflict, to try to fill up silence, due to anxiety.  But anxious people during negotiations tend to say things that erode their positions. By being silent at the right moments, you can give the other party a chance to

  • see your strength
  • give voice to the thoughts behind their stated positions - so if they are secretly giving in on the inside, you give them a chance to do it for real.

Negotiation Skills Tip #6:

Find Some Objective, Fair Standards All Sides Can Agree Upon

Take the initiative early on to stake out some fair standard against which any final solution can be judged. 

Tell the other party you want to come to a fair solution that maximizes the outcome for both of you, and propose some standard against which the results can be measured. 

For example, if you are selling your car, you may want to use the Kelly Blue Book - especially since Blue Book values tend to be slightly higher than those found in other such sources, so that this resource favors the seller, but is still a recognized, fair standard.

By setting the standards for final judgment of the solution, you

  • frame the issues
  • take greater control of the process
  • frame of the standard to your advantage, as in the Blue Book example
  • set the stage to win.
Doing all these things won’t make you an expert negotiator, but practicing these negotiation skills will make you stronger and help you learn lessons the experienced pros have discovered through lots of trial and error.  Good luck!

16 Habits of Creative People

Many people believe that creativity is inborn and only a chosen few are creative. While it is true that creativity is inborn, it is not true that only a chosen few are creative.

Everyone is born creative. In the process of growing up, educating yourself and adapting yourself to your environment, you slowly add blocks to your creativity and forget that you had it in the first place.

The difference between a creative person and a person who is not so creative is not in the creativity that they were born with but in the creativity that they have lost.

How can you enhance your creative ability? One possible way is to observe the habits of creative people, identify the ones that you feel will work for you and then make a plan to cultivate them.

Here are 16 habits of creative people. If you cultivate some of them, you will feel an increase in your level of creativity. In the process, you will also feel tickled by life!

1. Creative people are full of curiosity.

Creative people are wonderstruck. They are tickled by the newness of every moment. They have lots of questions. They keep asking what, why, when, where and how.

A questioning mind is an open mind. It is not a knowing mind. Only an open mind can be creative. A knowing mind can never be creative.

A questioning stance sensitizes the mind in a very special way and it is able to sense what would have been missed otherwise.

2. Creative people are problem-friendly.

When there is a problem, some people can be seen wringing up their hands. Their first reaction is to look for someone to blame. Being faced with a problem becomes a problem. Such people can be called problem-averse.

Creative people, on the other hand, are problem-friendly. They just roll up their sleeves when faced with a problem. They see problems as opportunities to improve the quality of life. Being faced with a problem is never a problem.

You get dirty and take a bath every day. You get tired and relax every day. Similarly, you have problems that need to be solved every day. Life is a fascinating rhythm of problems and solutions.

To be problem-averse is to be life-averse. To be problem-friendly is to be life-friendly. Problems come into your life to convey some message. If you run away from them, you miss the message.

3. Creative people value their ideas.

Creative people realize the value of an idea. They do not take any chance with something so important. They carry a small notepad to note down ideas whenever they occur.

Many times, just because they have a notepad and are looking for ideas to jot down, they can spot ideas which they would have otherwise missed.

4. Creative people embrace challenges.

Creative people thrive on challenges. They have a gleam in their eyes as soon as they sniff one. Challenges bring the best out of them – reason enough to welcome them.

5. Creative people are full of enthusiasm.

Creative people are enthusiastic about their goals. This enthusiasm works as fuel for their journey, propelling them to their goals.

6. Creative people are persistent.

Creative people know it well that people may initially respond to their new ideas like the immune system responds to a virus. They’ll try to reject the idea in a number of ways.

Creative people are not surprised or frustrated because of this. Nor do they take it personally. They understand it takes time for a new idea to be accepted. In fact, the more creative the idea, the longer it takes for it to be appreciated.

7. Creative people are perennially dissatisfied.

Creative people are acutely aware of their dissatisfactions and unfulfilled desires. However, this awareness does not frustrate them. As a matter of fact, they use this awareness as a stimulus to realize their dreams.

8. Creative people are optimists.

Creative people generally have a deeply held belief that most, if not all, problems can be solved. No challenge is too big to be overcome.

This doesn’t mean they are always happy and never depressed. They do have their bad moments but they don’t generally get stumped by a challenge.

9. Creative people make positive Judgment.

A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn. It can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a right man’s brow – a businessman Charles Brower

The ability to hold off on judging or critiquing an idea is important in the process of creativity. Often great ideas start as crazy ones - if critique is applied too early the idea will be killed and never developed into something useful and useable.

This doesn’t mean there is no room for critique or judgment in the creative process but there is a time and place for it and creative people recognize that.

10. Creative people go for the big kill.

Creative people realize that the first idea is just the starting point. It is in the process of fleshing it out that some magical cross-connections happen and the original ‘normal’ idea turns into a killer idea.

11. Creative people are prepared to stick it out.

Creative people who actually see their ideas come to fruition have the ability to stick with their ideas and see them through - even when the going gets tough. This is what sets them apart from others. Stick-ability is the key.

12. Creative people do not fall in love with an idea.

Creative people recognize how dangerous it is to fall in love with an idea. Falling in love with an idea means stopping more ideas from coming to their mind. They love the process of coming up with ideas, not necessarily the idea.

13. Creative people recognize the environment in which they are most creative.

Creative people do most of their thinking in an environment which is most conducive to their creativity. If they are unable to influence their physical environment, they recreate their ‘favourite’ creative environment in their minds.

14. Creative people are good at reframing any situation.

Reframes are a different way of looking at things. Being able to reframe experiences and situations is a very powerful skill.

Reframing allows you to look at a situation from a different angle. It is like another camera angle in a football match. And a different view has the power to change your entire perception of the situation.

Reframing can breathe new life into dead situations. It can motivate demoralized teams. It helps you to spot opportunities that you would have otherwise missed.

15. Creative people are friends with the unexpected.

Creative people have the knack of expecting the unexpected and finding connections between unrelated things. It is this special quality of mind that evokes serendipitous events in their lives.

Having honed the art of making happy discoveries, they are able to evoke serendipity more often than others.

16. Creative people are not afraid of failures.

Creative people realize that the energy that creates great ideas also creates errors. They know that failure is not really the opposite of success.

In fact, both failure and success are on the same side of the spectrum because both are the result of an attempt made. Creative people look at failure as a stopover on way to success, just a step away from it.

 Source: Unknown

Letter by Hongkong TV Psychologist to his Kids

Following is a letter to his son/daughter from a renowned Hong Kong TV broadcaster and child psychologist.

The words are actually applicable all of us,young or old,children or parents!
This applies to daughters too. All parents can use this in their teaching to their children..

Dear Son/daughter

I am writing this to you because of three reasons

1. Life, fortune,and mishaps are unpredictable,no body knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early. I am your father,and if I don't tell you these,no one else will. What is written is my own personal bitter experience  that perhaps could save you a  lot of unnecessary heartaches. 

Remember the following as you go thru life .

1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well ,except your mother & I .
To those who are good to you , you have to treasure it and be thankful,and ALSO you have to be cautious,because ,every one has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you ,it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful,don't  hastily regard him as a real friend.

2 . No one is indispensable , nothing is in the world that you must possess.
Once you understand this idea,it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you any more,or when you loose what/who you love most

3Life is short.
When you waste your life today,tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life ,the better you enjoy life.

4 . Love is but a transient feeling,and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved ones leaves you , be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness.
Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love,and don't overexaggerete the sadness of falling out of love

5 . A lot of successful people did not receive a good education,that does not mean that you Can be successful by not studying hard ! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life. One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from rags!

6 . I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither would  I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up . After that, you decide whether you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine,weather rich or poor

7 . You honor your words,but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people,but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

8 . If you want to be rich , you have to WORK HARD ! There is no FREE LUNCH !

9 .No matter how much time I have with you ,let us treasure the time we have together . We do not know if we would meet again in our next life

Your Dad n Mom

Do Less

Do less thinking,
and pay more attention to your heart.

Do less acquiring,
and pay more attention to what you already have.

Do less complaining,
and pay more attention to giving.

Do less controlling,
and pay more attention to letting go.

Do less criticizing,
and pay more attention to complimenting.

Do less arguing,
and pay more attention to forgiveness.

Do less running around,
and pay more attention to stillness.

Do less talking,
and pay more attention to silence.

Nine Ways to Make Top Performers Effective Managers

by Derek Finkelman and Jonathan Corke


It's a common scenario: A managerial position becomes available and is filled by a top performer with minimal or no previous management experience. Yet it makes sense. Shouldn't a top performer be able to easily make the transition to manager? Shouldn't that person be able to guide others to his or her same level of productivity? The answer is a 100 percent, absolute maybe.


While top performers likely have solid domain skills, coupled with a strong motivation to succeed, there's a good chance they have not been afforded sufficient opportunity to develop effective management techniques. For some, these skills can be learned on the job. For others, the consequences of a poor managerial fit can be significant in terms of lost productivity and morale for the new manager and his or her direct reports.


Therefore, prior to promoting a top performer with minimal or no managerial experience, assess the candidate's strengths and forward-looking potential in nine core areas of effective management.


This analysis can ensure consistently smooth management transitions and keep a company operating at peak performance as it identifies whether a top performer is ready to lead now, is better-suited for some limited managerial experiences and additional training, or perhaps has a skill set and disposition that will only thrive in an individual contributor role. Consider: Can the new manager execute these nine core skills?


1. Move from tactical to strategic.

Is the employee ready to let go of his or her day-to-day responsibilities and play a more conceptual or strategic role? Some managers believe they need to understand every last detail of what their employees are working on.


Commonly referred to as "micro-managing," this type of behavior can make otherwise content employees burn out and leave a company. For a top performer who excels at the tactical level, managing others to achieve the same level of success may not seem as fulfilling.


Is the employee prepared for this potential shock? Many top performers are capable of the transition from tactical to strategic thinking, provided they have access to the right resources, such as a mentor or applicable management training courses.


2. Defend the team.

Is the employee ready to defend his or her new direct reports and support them in public? Is the employee ready to be a leader? Leaders absorb rather than deflect criticism. Leaders push praise downward to their employees and proactively look for ways to portray their direct reports in a positive light.


In short, leaders have a deep understanding of the phrase, "praise in public, condemn in private." Lots of top performers have healthy, competitive egos. Don't assume that deflecting praise and supporting direct reports is a natural instinct for new managers.


3. Build trusting relationships.

Can the employee develop a strong, trusting relationship that engenders compassion and prudent responses to change? As a cautionary tale, "Jerry" really enjoyed working for a manager until the reasons behind some recent absences came into question.


Jerry's son was in and out of the hospital, and thus, he needed to unexpectedly miss some work during a two-week period. Rather than show compassion and understanding, Jerry's manager accused him of interviewing. The manager's paranoia quickly became a self-fulfilling prophecy, as Jerry decided it wasn't worth working for someone who so quickly questioned his integrity. Jerry's example illustrates the risk associated with promoting a top performer before understanding his or her ability to trust and respect others.


4. Delegate.

Does the employee know how to assign work and shepherd that work through to completion? Consider the following scenario:


Manager: "[Employee], I need you to do X. I need this done because of Y. I'd really like to have this work completed by Z. Do you have any questions? Was this clear?"


Employee: "Got it."


Manager: "Great. Please let me know if you need any additional help."


This seems simple. Employees like to understand what work is expected of them, why the work is important, and when the work should be completed. Once the assignment is given, managers can use a variety of actions to stay on top of progress, including daily check-ins, one-on-one meetings and regular staff meetings. This example is deceptively easy; yet, in the frantic pace of business, this type of clear, concise, two-way communication often is lost.


5. Teach and mentor.

In the event that assignments require additional help or instruction, does the top performer embrace the idea of teaching and mentoring? Does he or she have the patience to answer employees' questions respectfully, in detail, more than once? Managers who return employee questions with an impatient or arrogant tone will eventually find they have fewer questions to answer, as employees will be more reluctant to expose their weaknesses or challenge ideas.


Managers who answer employee questions in an unassuming, non-condescending manner will be able to foster and sustain open communication channels that are vital for employee development and team productivity.


6. Admit mistakes.

Does the employee know how to apologize or acknowledge a mistake? For example, a new manager arrogantly corrects an employee in a cross-functional meeting and subsequently learns the employee's assertion was accurate. Does the manager have the self-awareness and willingness to admit the mistake not only to the employee but also to the other meeting participants? This is necessary to help restore cross-functional trust in the employee who the manager publicly and erroneously contradicted. These corrective steps will be appreciated by most employees. On the other hand, if the manager doesn't take these steps, he or she will quickly lose the team's respect.


7. Leverage others' strengths.

Is the employee threatened by colleagues who have greater subject matter expertise? For a newly promoted manager, there is an increased likelihood that certain employees will know more about a specific domain. For example, a new vice president of brand marketing may be asked to manage the product marketing group, as well. Is this vice president willing to roll up his or her sleeves and learn about that group on a tactical level?


Rather than hide from knowledge they don't have, the best managers ask the right questions to understand their employees' day-to-day responsibilities. By doing so, effective managers can engage subject matter experts to provide a well-articulated recommendation and then implement, adjust or reject that proposal based upon their sense of how it fits into the broader company strategy.


8. Manage each employee.

Can the new manager alter his or her managerial approach by direct report? Does the prospective manager have a one-size-fits-all management style, or does he or she recognize that individuals may need to be managed differently? Employees with young children are likely to request time to attend school events or unexpectedly miss work due to a child's illness.


Younger, single employees may be hungry to prove themselves by offering to own too much work. Can the potential manager recognize the employees' motivational differences and alter his or her managerial style accordingly? The best managers hold everyone on the team accountable for expected behaviors and results, while also understanding and capitalizing on the individual motivations of each team member.


9. Take time to manage.

Has the company given the new manager the time needed to actually manage? If a top performer has moved from individual contributor to managing a group of five or seven people, for example, there is undoubtedly a need to scale back on tactical, role-based activities to find the pulse of his or her new team.


A managerial role requires building a rapport, delegating responsibilities and architecting a team's broader long-term strategy. When promoted, many top performers will initially carve out more work time per day to ambitiously try to handle their legacy tasks and their newly acquired role. This early push is not sustainable. The new manager, and the company, will need to understand and be receptive to the fact that his or her individual responsibilities should now account for no more than 50 percent of work time, and likely much less.


Each of these nine components of effective management requires organization commitment and an adjustment period in order to achieve a smooth transition, best fit and continued productivity for new managers and their employees. However, there often is more accountability for the organization regarding this ninth and final point.


Are top performers expected to manage effectively and maintain their previous workloads? Or are they given the time they need to manage their new direct reports? Providing employees with a manager's title without supplying enough time for them to actually manage is a fruitless exercise.


The Case for Careful Selection


There are potential consequences of not incorporating these nine dimensions into the managerial selection process. Ineffective managers can alienate other departments, or worse, their employees, which can lead to significantly reduced group productivity and increased attrition. As merit budgets tighten and companies try to do more with less, the cascading effects of a toxic manager pose an even greater threat to organizational success.


Top-performing individuals don't necessarily become top-performing managers. To succeed, new managers require time, training and guidance. Management consultants may never reach full agreement on the components of effective management, but these nine core skills comprise a practical evaluation of a top performer's readiness to manage and a company's readiness to prepare employees for this next step.

How to stop cough in 5 Minutes

We have all been kept awake by our own or someone else's cough. Try this and pass it on. The tip and not the cough. ANYTHING is better than antibiotics. Even babies could benefit from this and the parents wouldn't worry about the safety of their child. And of course, it is harmless and free from any type of side-effects.

To stop night time coughing in a child (or an adult, as we found out personally), put Vicks Vapor Rub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime and then cover with socks.

Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about five minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. This works 100 percent of the time, and is more effective in children than even very strong prescription cough medicines. In addition it is extremely soothing and comforting and they will sleep soundly.

My friend tried it on herself when she had a very deep constant and persistent cough a few weeks ago, and it worked
100 percent! She said it felt like a warm blanket had enveloped her. The coughing stopped in a few minutes, and believe me this was a deep (incredibly annoying!) every few seconds, uncontrollable cough and she slept cough-free for hours every night she used it.

Source: Unknown

Hair and your Health

Hair is a complex and delicate part of your body. Keeping it healthy and beautiful is a challenge. Here's a guide that will help you do just that .

Hair is cylinder of dead tissue. Damaged hair can never be fully restored to its original condition. The main factor in growth of the hair is the kind of cells that exit in the hair follicles from which the hair grows in the individual person. Each individual hair is also different in one individual .Hair- care products are intended to promote certain favorable conditions of hair and to reduce of eliminate  properties of hair, which are regarded as undesirable.  

Causes and symptoms:

Reasons for Hair Loss

Both men and women lose hair for similar reasons. Hair loss in men is often more dramatic, and follows a specific pattern of loss which has been termed "Male Pattern Baldness". This loss is caused by dihydrotestosterone (DHT).

Factors for male hair loss include: heredity, hormones, and aging. This may also apply to women but to a lesser degree. Women may experience loss of hair after menopause and 2-3 months after having a baby. Other contributing factors include: poor diet, poor circulation, acute illness, radiation, chemotherapy, high stress, thyroid imbalance, certain drugs, coming off the contraceptive pill, diabetes, high doses of vitamin A (more than 100,000 IU), sudden weight loss, high fever, iron deficiency, ringworm, some fungal infections, chemicals and hair dyes, vitamin deficiencies, and lack of proper nutrition

Drastic or premature hair loss may be caused by:

1. Stress and bodily weakness from overwork.
2. Dietary imbalances or nutritional deficiency.
3. Using abrasive shampoos, hair lacquers, dyes and bleaching, etc.
4. Endocrine disorder.
5. Genetic factors.
6. Infectious diseases.
7. Hormonal metabolic changes in lactating women.
8. Nutrient and protein deficiencies in the hair cells.


The normal life span for each hair is from three to six years. Each hair grows in a hair cycle that can be divided into three stages: the growing stage (Anacin) lasting from two to six years, the partial degeneration stage (Catalan) lasting between 10 and 14 days, and finally the resting phase (Telogen) during which time the hair is shed and there is an involution of the hair follicles lasting about one hundred days.

Routine care of scalp and  Hair:

It is very important to have day to day care given to hair and scalp to maintain its health and to increase its beauty. This routine includes brushing, combing, cutting, shampooing, massaging and application of hair dressing/lotion. 

Brushing & Combing:

Importance of brushing and combing

Many sebaceous glands are distributed over the scalp. When the hair is brushed, sedum secreted from these glands spreads over the surface of the hair and makes it glossy and supple.

Brushing and combing temporarily affects the blood circulation of the scalp.

Care in selection and use of brush and comb

Well spaced bristles.

Easy Cleaning

Individual use to avoid spread of disease.

For long hairs brushing should begin at near the bottom of each strand and slowly reaching the top and then beginning from scalp and sweep down the entire strand of hair without encountering any tangle. Careful treatment of this nature excludes the breaking and tearing of hair.

When the hair is weakened and its attachment is less the normal, frequent and vigorous brushing may increase hair fall resulting in further damage. Under such condition gentle massage of the scalp could be done and daily vigorous brushing should be avoided.

Massage with Hair oil:

Hair oils especially those containing herbs are one of very important in hair care. They should be used once every week and left overnight. 

Oils penetrate into the surface of the scalp with nutrients. Any oil soluble active substances then get dissolved in fatty covering on the scalp skin when gently massaged. This also helps in increasing the blood circulation. These nutrients along with various vitamins are then transported into the deeper layers. From the blood capillaries are then transported into the deeper layers. From the blood capillaries are then transported to the cells involved in the syntheses of keratin (hair protein) and thus increasing the hair growth.


Primary objective is to clean hair and scalp of all foreign matters. The ideal shampoo should clean the scalp without producing irritation or causing excessive reduction of the natural oils, they should have pH less then 7(acidic)

Importance of pH for hair shampoos:

Dry hair has no pH. Only when the hairs are wet and in water they have acidic pH (between 4.5 to 5.5). Acidic products give astringent effect on the hair outer layer-cuticle.

Decreasing the evaporation of moisture and dissolution of proteins.
Imparts natural shine to the hair.
Increases elasticity.
Decreases tangling.

After shampooing proper drying is necessary since the tensile strength of hair is at its lowest when it is wet. Brisk rubbing should be avoided. Idealy hair should be exposed to low heat such as sun or mild heat of drier.

After shampoo appropriate hair dressing lotion should be used to put the hair bark into condition with regards to manageability and luster.

After shampoo hair preparations(Hair dressing / Hair lotion)

A good antiseptic, conditioning and stimulating hair product is helpful in the maintenance of healthy scalp. The use of such preparation with ordinary scalp hygiene may help to clean the hair and scalp as bacteria free as possible and improves the appearance of hair.

Modern Day problems Associated with Hair and Scalp:

For most hair related problems, internal medicine plays important role then external application. In recent times hair & scalp have become target of many ailments. There are many problems that can be associated with hair & scalp due to: 

 1. Air and water pollution. 
 2. Use of shampoos and conditioners containing harsh chemical.
 3. Use of common combs and brushes in establishment such as    
     barbershops and beauty saloons. Problem associated with scalp arise 
     due to lowering of the resistance may be because, frequent washing 
     with the strong soaps and shampoos, excessive secretion of oil and 
     sweat glands, over exposure to sunlight. There are three common 
     diseases associated with scalp.  4. Seborrhea  
 5. Dandruff
 6. Hair loss


It is an excessive secretion of sebaceous glands giving hair oily looks. This condition may also be related to the hormonal secretion of an individual. It is excellent medium for bacteria to grow the causing pathological conditions leading to dandruff and hair fall. The most important treat is the removal of excess fat and maintenance of clean scalp.


Cause of dandruff is still debatable. It may be due to :


Excessive sebum secretion (this leads to the growth of micro-organism irritating the scalp causing itching)

Physiological error in the shedding of the dead cells, which are then stick together and fall off in the form of flakes. Control of dandruff equires unique combination of different mode of action such as:

Effective removal of existing dandruff from the hair by use of good shampoo .

Inhibition of excessive production of new cells in the uppermost layer of the scalp.

Control of excessive sedum production .

Use of hair products with microbial, anti- inflammatory and soothing action.

Hair loss: 

Hair loss can be repaid or gradual. With the healthy scalp loss of 50-100 hairs is normal. It is concern when it exceeds more than 100 hairs per day or hair no longer grows back on any part of the scalp. Loss of hair may be due to various causes.

Natural symptoms of aging.

1.    Inherited baldness  
2.    Following infectious diseases.  
3.    Accompanying of following skin infections.  
4.    Following disturbance in the diet, digestion or metabolism.    
5.    As long as the roots of the hair remain healthy, there is chance of   
6.    Taking constant care can control hair fall
7.    Determining the actual cause of hair loss.
8.    Regular massage of the scalp using herbal hair oil.  
9.    Use the mild shampoo without harmful chemicals  
10.  Use of astringent scalp conditioner.  
11.  Application of hair packs with herbs providing nutrition, stimulation, 
      disinfecting etc. 

When people reach there thirties, regardless of their sex, signs of aging begin to show on their scalp, with receding hairline, thinning hair, and especially in the crawl area. From the first hint of hair loss to complete baldness can take a long time, but it can also happen in just a few years.

How to achieve and maintain a healthy head of beautiful hair.

Three main things are needed for a good-looking head of hair -- good health, the right attention to cleanliness, and caution when using cosmetic treatments.  


1. Adequate Diet

Hair growth depends on an adequate diet. A widespread diet problem, which causes loss of hair, is iron deficiency Anemia. The cause is too little iron in blood, brought on by a diet containing too little meat, eggs, cereals or peas and beans. Fresh fruits and vegetables are also needed to provide vitamin C, which enables the body to absorb iron.

2. Cutting the hair

Although cutting the hair is not essential to its well being, it is easier to keep the scalp clean if the hair is kept reasonably short. Regular cutting does not make the hair grow strong or faster.

3. How hair can be damaged

Although scalp hair is hardy, and can withstand a lot of abuse, it can be damaged by too much or inexpertly applied perming, dyeing, bleaching and massage. The amount of beautying the hair can take varies from person to person. Occasionally the scalp is allergic to the dye and becomes inflamed and swollen. To prevent this occurring, applying it to a small area on the arm should test the dye. If a patch of inflammation has developed, the dye must not be used on the hair.

Most people who bleach their hair do so with hydrogen peroxide. If the peroxide is repeatedly applied, it may make the hair brittle. If this happens the hair may turn rough, develop split ends, or become thinned or shortened.

How To Deal With Dandruff

Some are of the opinion that at the early stages of hair loss, dandruff begins to increase. However, an increase in the amount of dandruff does not necessarily mean that there is a "cause-effect" relationship resulting in the thinning of hair.

You should think of excessive dandruff as a warning sign as far as the health of the hair is concerned.

Dandruff is made up of bits of dead skin that peel away from the scalp as a result of the effects of metabolism. Normally, dandruff, in its early stages of growth, is not visible to the naked eye. It becomes visible only after enlarging into pieces of dead skin (what we normally call "dandruff") as a result of the propagation of bacteria and/or problems with seborrhea scalp conditions.

Persons suffering from prolonged dandruff are said to have a dandruff ailment. This type of ailment, accompanied by itchiness, can lead to eczema if it worsens. Suppressing the propagation of bacteria is one means of dealing with fatty dandruff. This is because bacteria are one of the causes of this condition.

If possible, try to shampoo on a daily basis to prevent bacterial propagation. One effective means of dealing with dandruff is to disinfect the scalp area with commercially available medicated shampoos specifically designed for dandruff removal. However, daily shampooing can lead to eczema for persons who suffer from dry scalps. Shampooing once every three days may be ideal for such persons.

Persons who suffer from persistent, hard-to-cure dandruff are urged to consult a skin specialist.

Life style: 

·         The foremost consideration in the treatment of this disorder is to keep the hair and scalp clean so as to minimise the accumulation of dead cells.

·         The hair should be brushed daily to improve the circulation and remove any flakiness.

·         The most effective way to brush the hair is to bend forward from the waist with the head down towards the ground and brush from the nape of the neck towards the top of the head.