Blog Archive

Some Thoughts to be Refreshed for Happiness



Life is not a race-but indeed a journey. Be honest. Work hard. Be choosy. Say "thank you". "I love you", and "great job" to someone each day.

Take time for prayer. Be thankful. Love your life and what you've been given, it is not accidental. Search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you aspire to be.

Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry. Forgive, it frees the soul. Take time for yourself. Plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know. Live for today, enjoy the moment

Maturity Re-defined

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Maturity is when you stop trying to change people, and instead focus on changing yourself.
Maturity is when you accept people for who they are.
Maturity is when you understand that everyone is right in their own perspective.
Maturity is when you learn to "let go".
Maturity is when you are able to drop "expectations" from a relationship and give for the sake of giving.
Maturity is when you understand that whatever you do, you do for your own peace.
Maturity is when you stop proving to the world how intelligent you are.
Maturity is when you focus on positives in people.
Maturity is when you do not seek approval from others.
Maturity is when you stop comparing yourself with others.


Maturity is when you are at peace with yourself.
Maturity is when you can differentiate between "need" and "want" and you can let go of your wants.
Maturity is when you stop attaching "happiness" to material things.

Which ___tator Are You



 

Some people ( actually most ) never seem motivated to participate,
but are just content to watch while others do the work.
They are called "Spec Tators ".


Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted
at finding fault with the way others do the work.
They are called "Comment Tators"

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what
to do, but don't want to soil their own hands.
They are called "Dick Tators".

Some people are always looking to cause problems by
asking others to agree with them.
It is too hot or too cold, too sour or to sweet.
They ?are called "Agie Tators".

There are those who say they will help, but somehow
just never get around to actually doing the promised help.
They are called "Hezzie Tators".

Some people can put up a front and pretend to be
someone they are not.
They are called "Immi Tators".

Then there are those who love others and do what they
say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand.
They bring real sunshine into the lives of others.
They are called "Sweet Po Tators".

 

Story: Lets Help the Old and Poor

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A story of this very old woman who is in her last days of life struggling for her livelihood daily in order to earn 2 meals a day . She can barely see, despite of this she is independent & used to sell vegetables daily in the town "CHANDAUSI" of district "SAMBHAL" (Uttar pradesh ) where she come daily from her village " Gumthal" which is 10 km far away from "CHANDAUSI".

When I asked her that being so old why she work in this age she replied that there is no one at her home to look after her so she has to earn for her survival. When I asked about her age she said that she don't know as her parents left her when she was a little child. She is neither getting widow pension nor pension for old people or any sort of help. 




Its my humble request to everyone to share this story as many times you can so she can be Helped and also many others like her. 
Story Sent by Vibhu ​



Story: My Daughter Reminds Me a Great Lesson
Story: The Gossip Girl
Story: The Two Falcons
Story: Presence of mind
Story - Stress Management
Story - The Cute Student Counts the Apples
Story - Everyone is unique
Story - The Perspective Understanding
Story - The Millionaire and the 3 Person
Story - The Lawyer and the Farmer :)

You Can



You cannot change the world,
But you can present the world with one improved person -
Yourself.

You can go to work on yourself to make yourself
Into the kind of person you admire and respect.
You can become a role model and set a standard for others.

You can control and discipline yourself to resist acting
Or speaking in a negative way
Toward anyone for any reason.

You can insist upon always doing things the loving way,
Rather than the hurtful way.

By doing these things each day,
You can continue on your journey
Toward becoming an exceptional human being.

How to Improve Your Microsoft Excel Skills


By Junaid Tahir
I have summarized the most common mistakes professionals do for managing their excel databases at work place. Also I have summarized some suggestions in order to
the usage of Excel capabilities. Attached excel file contains practical examples for each point mentioned below:

1-     Cells merger is strictly not allowed for professional databases. Merged cells prevent automatic reports generation, formula reference errors, data automation and several other limitations.
2-    Cell formatting should be applied on each column. As an example if Column-A is dedicated for 'dates' then no other format (text, number etc) should be allowed. This can be controlled by Drop Down menus or Data Validation Tool of Excel.
3-    Control Multiple Entries strictly. If this is unavoidable then use unique naming conventions to clearly identify the second entry. For example Microwave, Microwave_UAE, Microwave_KSA etc. Use Cell Highlight Rules to identify duplicate entries or use Data Validation to generate pop up message for the user.
4-    No blank row or column should be left in the database. This ensures data's integrity.
5-    Using sensible and logical words. For example under the column PAC status if I write "Done" or "In process" it may have multiple meanings such as "Permission applied" "Permission reviewed" "Permission approved" "Permission reviewed" 
6-    Use uniform and symmetrical information. If you want to differentiate two values you can either use "/" or "," but not both. Also swapped information to be avoided such as Copies/Pen/Markers andMarkers/Pen/Copies and Pen/Markers/Copies
7-    Use Trim function to remove extra spaces from your entries.
8-    Do not use a lot of colors as it does not look professional specially if it is required to be sent to management
9-    File name should be relevant (New tracker.xls, book1.xls, latest update.xls are NOT appropriate words)
Bonus Tips:
1-     Pivot Tables is one the most powerful tools of Excel which can generate multi dimensional reports within seconds however it not used by many professionals. Pivot report should be applied right from the start of new database creation. So that the database owner understands its working philosophy and organize the database accordingly. Read this Super Article on Pivots
2-    Automation should be done as much as possible. This can be done using Formulae (If, count, sum, vlookup, clean tools of Excel). Data automation reduces the chances of error to a great extent. Also, use data validation to inform the user about what information is required to be filled in.
3-    vLookUp: This is one of the most powerful tool to extrat data from multiple columns and files. Read this article on vLookUp
4-    Begin with the End in Mind. What reports the management is looking for. Can you generate the reports with-in seconds or you have to do manual work to generate the report? 

- If you would like to improve your Excel Tips, I highly recommend you join this online forum 
- If you would like to receive the Excel file containing basis elaboration of above points, please drop me a line so I can respond. 

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Avoiding Knee Pain Avoiding Knee Pain





Let's face it. Wear and tear of body is inevitable. And joints are
the worst affected as we age, out of which the knees rule.
A popping sound with pain in the knee, swelling and inability to
put weight on the leg indicate a knee sprain or a tear. Fractures,
dislocations, cartilage injuries,arthritic changes or bursitis are
painful enough. But how to avoid knee injuries and pain? Knee pain
can improve with some good body mechanics like change in movement,
ergonomics, exercise and care. 

1. Never ignore pain. Pain is one of the first warning signs that
something is amiss. After a few days of home treatment if the knee
pain worsens or does not improve it is time to call the doctor!
2. Get rest. Rest is a must if you are a very physically active
person. And all the more so if you are above 30.

3. Weight control is mandatory if your knees hurt. Being overweight
increases your chances of knee pain especially the arthritic one as
the excess load causes the degeneration of the cartilage. You can
try walking or a stationary bike for exercise without traumatising
the joints.

4. Too much of physical activity including strenuous exercises can
cost you your knees. Straining the body on the pretext of
weight loss, a sudden increase in the duration of the activity or a
rapid increase in the intensity are unwise. Always warm up with
stretches and cool down adequately.

5. If you have duck feet (walking with feet turned out) you are
more susceptible to knee pain.

6. Be careful while lifting weights as they ae only bad for your
back but also for your knees. Bend carefully putting the knees back
and heels down. Put the weight on your muscles and off your knees.

7. Discard hard shoes but use soft breathing flexible shoes
recommended for the desired activity. 

8. Know that some cholesterol lowering drugs, antacids and the like
may cause knee pain.

Knee injuries need not remain forever. Time and rest can heal most
of them and not often do they call for surgeries.

Take care!
​​

What You Think Is What You Get






What You Think Is What You Get
The Law of Attraction


The law of attraction is surprisingly simple: Like attracts like. It becomes a bit more complicated when it comes to training our minds to think in ways that will bring what we desire into our lives. The term "self-fulfilling prophecy" describes the same law. This well-known term explains that we create the circumstances our mind dwells upon, whether positive or negative. So our goal is to practice consistent presence of mind to make sure our thoughts are always directed toward the positive and that which we want to create.



A key to the process is the word "frequency." This is true for two reasons: 1) The frequency you use when you passionately dwell upon or revisit a thought, dream, desire or goal provides the energy your musings need for creation; and 2) just like a radio station broadcasts on a certain frequency, like the radio you must be "tuned in" to receive it. This means preparing for the arrival of your dream on every possible level—material, physical, and spiritual. You don't have to know how it will come into your life, just trust that it will. Your job is to lay the groundwork, follow any leads you can find, and prepare for its arrival. This can mean cleaning out your garage to make space for a new car, taking a tour of a model home to get the feel of it in order to feed your fantasies, or thinking of what you want in a mate and then living up to that list yourself.




Just like with any skill, the law of attraction must be practiced. We must decide what makes us feel abundant, and use our imagination to create the feeling. It isn't enough to just want something; you must use the power of your thoughts to attract it. A series of choices is what brings us everything in our lives right now, every moment. When we know the direction we want our choices to take us, it is as if we've placed an order with the universe. Then we can await its arrival with joyful anticipation. If we find ways to experience our dreams right now, we make creating joy a treasure hunt in which the seeking is just as much fun as the finding.

Turn Rejection into Direction





No-one likes being rejected, whether it's in matters of the heart, work or life.  But it does happen.  Rather than feel frustrated because things aren't going in the direction you want it to go, accept.  Then work out

​:​

a) what went wrong,
b) what to do better for the next time, and
c) if what you want, is not what's best for you.

Take your lessons from the rejection, and turn them into stepping stones towards a direction that's right for you.



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Short Story: The Unhappy Young Lady


The old Master instructed the unhappy young lady to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. "How does it taste?" the Master asked. "Very bad" Said the lady.

The Master then asked the young lady to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, "Now drink from the lake."

As the water dripped down the young lady's chin, the Master asked, "How does it taste?" "Good!" remarked the apprentice. "Do you taste the salt?" asked the Master. "No," said the young lady.

The Master said, "The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the 'pain' depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things..... Stop being a glass.  Become a lake!"
    

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Story: Two Brothers

This is a story of two brothers. One was a drug addict and a drunkard who frequently beat up his family. The other one was a very successful businessman who was respected in society and had a wonderful family. Some people wanted to find out why two brothers from the same parents, brought up in the same environment, could be so different.

The first one was asked, "How come you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates you?" He said, "My father." They asked, "What about your father?" The reply was, "My father was a drug addict, a drunk and he beat his family. What do you expect me to be? That is what I am."

They went to the brother who was doing everything right and asked him the same question. "How come you are doing everything right ? What is your source of motivation?" And guess what he said? "My father. When I was a little boy, I used to see my dad drunk and doing all the wrong things. I made up my mind, that is not what I wanted to be."

Both were deriving their strength and motivation from the same source, but one was using it negatively and the other positively....

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Self Esteem: What Are Personal Boundaries? How Do I Get Some?


Love can't exist without boundaries, even with your children. It's easy to understand external boundaries as your bottom line. Think of rules and principles you live by when you say what you will or won't do or allow.
If you have difficulty saying no, override your needs to please others, or are bothered by someone who is demanding, controlling, criticizing, pushy, abusive, invasive, pleading, or even smothering you with kindness, it's your responsibility to speak up.

Types of Boundaries

There are several areas where boundaries apply:
  • Material boundaries determine whether you give or lend things, such as your money, car, clothes, books, food, or toothbrush.
  • Physical boundaries pertain to your personal space, privacy, and body. Do you give a handshake or a hug – to whom and when?
  • Mental boundaries apply to your thoughts, values, and opinions. Are you easily suggestible? Do you know what you believe, and can you hold onto your opinions? Can you listen with an open mind to someone else's opinion without becoming rigid? If you become highly emotional, argumentative, or defensive, you may have weak emotional boundaries.
  • Emotional boundaries distinguish separating your emotions and responsibility for them from someone else's. It's like an imaginary line or force field that separates you and others. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or accepting blame. They protect you from feeling guilty for someone else's negative feelings or problems and taking others' comments personally. High reactivity suggests weak emotional boundaries. Healthy emotional boundaries require clear internal boundaries – knowing your feelings and your responsibilities to yourself and others.
  • Spiritual boundaries relate to your beliefs and experiences in connection with God.

Why It's Hard

It's hard for codependents to set boundaries because:
  1. They put others' needs and feelings first;
  2. They don't know themselves;
  3. They don't feel they have rights;
  4. They believe setting boundaries jeopardizes the relationship; and
  5. They never learned to have healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are learned. If yours weren't valued as a child, you didn't learn you had them. Any kind of abuse violates personal boundaries, including teasing. For example, my brother ignored my pleas for him to stop tickling me until I could barely breathe. This made me feel powerless and that I didn't have a right to say "stop" when I was uncomfortable. In recovery, I gained the capacity to tell a masseuse to stop and use less pressure. In some cases, boundary violations affect a child's ability to mature into an independent, responsible adult.

You Have Rights

You may not believe you have any rights if yours weren't respected growing up. For example, you have a right to privacy, to say "no," to be addressed with courtesy and respect, to change your mind or cancel commitments, to ask people you hire to work the way you want, to ask for help, to be left alone, to conserve your energy, and not to answer a question, the phone, or an email.
Think about all the situations where these rights apply. Write how you feel and how you currently handle them. How often do you say "yes" when you'd like to say "no?"
Write what you want to happen. List your personal bill of rights. What prevents you from asserting them? Write statements expressing your bottom line. Be kind. For example, "Please don't criticize (or call) me (or borrow my . . .)," and "Thank you for thinking of me, but I regret I won't be joining (or able to help) you . . ."

Internal Boundaries

Internal boundaries involve regulating your relationship with yourself. Think of them as self-discipline and healthy management of time, thoughts, emotions, behavior and impulses. If you're procrastinating, doing things you neither have to nor want to do, or overdoing and not getting enough rest, recreation, or balanced meals, you may be neglecting internal physical boundaries. Learning to manage negative thoughts and feelings empowers you, as does the ability to follow through on goals and commitments to yourself.
Healthy emotional and mental internal boundaries help you not to assume responsibility for, or obsess about, other people's feelings and problems – something codependents commonly do. Strong internal boundaries curb suggestibility. You think about yourself, rather than automatically agreeing with others' criticism or advice. You're then empowered to set external emotional boundaries if you choose. Similarly, since you're accountable for your feelings and actions, you don't blame others. When you're blamed, if you don't feel responsible, instead of defending yourself or apologizing, you can say, "I don't take responsibility for that."

Guilt and Resentment

Anger often is a signal that action is required. If you feel resentful or victimized and are blaming someone or something, it might mean that you haven't been setting boundaries. If you feel anxious or guilty about setting boundaries, remember, your relationship suffers when you're unhappy. Once you get practice setting boundaries, you feel empowered and suffer less anxiety, resentment, and guilt. Generally, you receive more respect from others and your relationships improve.

Setting Effective Boundaries

People often say they set a boundary, but it didn't help. There's an art to setting boundaries. If it's done in anger or by nagging, you won't be heard. Boundaries are not meant to punish, but are for your well-being and protection. They're more effective when you're assertive, calm, firm, and courteous. If that doesn't work, you may need to communicate consequences to encourage compliance. It's essential, however, that you never threaten a consequence you're not fully prepared to carry out.
It takes time, support, and relearning to be able to set effective boundaries. Self-awareness and learning to b
​​
e assertive are the first steps. Setting boundaries isn't selfish. It's self-love – you say "yes" to yourself each time you say "no." It builds self-esteem. But it usually takes encouragement to make yourself a priority and to persist, especially when you receive pushback. Read more on setting boundaries in Codependency for Dummies and my e-book, How to Speak Your Mind and Set Limits.
 
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Time Management - 20 Tips


Are you usually punctual or late? Do you finish things within the time you stipulate? Do you hand in your reports/work on time? Are you able to accomplish what you want to do before deadlines? Are you a good time manager?
If your answer is "no" to any of the questions above, that means you're not managing your time as well as you want. Here are 20 tips on how to be a better time manager:
  1. Create a daily plan. Plan your day before it unfolds. Do it in the morning or even better, the night before you sleep. The plan gives you a good overview of how the day will pan out. That way, you don't get caught off guard. Your job for the day is to stick to the plan as best as possible.
  2. Peg a time limit to each task. Be clear that you need to finish X task by 10am, Y task by 3pm, and Z item by 5:30pm. This prevents your work from dragging on and eating into time reserved for other activities.
  3. Use a calendar. Having a calendar is the most fundamental step to managing your daily activities. If you use outlook or lotus notes, calendar come as part of your mailing software. Google Calendar is great – I use it. It's even better if you can sync it to your mobile phone and other hardwares you use – that way, you can access your schedule no matter where you are.
  4. Use an organizer. The organizer helps you to be on top of everything in your life. It's your central tool to organize information, to-do lists, projects, and other miscellaneous items.
  5. Know your deadlines. When do you need to finish your tasks? Mark the deadlines out clearly in your calendar and organizer so you know when you need to finish them.
  6. Learn to say "No". Don't take on more than you can handle. For the distractions that come in when you're doing other things, give a firm no. Or defer it to a later period.
  7. Target to be early. When you target to be on time, you'll either be on time or late. Most of the times you'll be late. However, if you target to be early, you'll most likely be on time. For appointments, strive to be early. For your deadlines, submit them earlier than required.
  8. Time box your activities. This means restricting your work to X amount of time. Read more about time boxing: #5 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.
  9. Have a clock visibly placed before you. Sometimes we are so engrossed in our work that we lose track of time. Having a huge clock in front of you will keep you aware of the time at the moment.
  10. Set reminders 15 minutes before. Most calendars have a reminder function. If you've an important meeting to attend, set that alarm 15 minutes before.
  11. Focus. Are you multi-tasking so much that you're just not getting anything done? If so, focus on just one key task at one time. Close off all the applications you aren't using. Close off the tabs in your browser that are taking away your attention. Focus solely on what you're doing. You'll be more efficient that way.
  12. Block out distractions. What's distracting you in your work? Instant messages? Phone ringing? Text messages popping in? I hardly ever use chat nowadays. The only times when I log on is when I'm not intending to do any work. Otherwise it gets very distracting. When I'm doing important work, I also switch off my phone. Calls during this time are recorded and I contact them afterward if it's something important. This helps me concentrate better.
  13. Track your time spent. Egg Timer is a simple online countdown timer. You key in the amount of time you want it to track (example: "30 minutes", "1 hour") and it'll count down in the background. When the time is up,the timer will beep. Great way to be aware of your time spent.
  14. Don't fuss about unimportant details You're never get everything done in exactly the way you want. Trying to do so is being ineffective. Read more: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.
  15. Prioritize. Since you can't do everything, learn to prioritize the important and let go of the rest. Apply the 80/20 principle which is a key principle in prioritization. Read more about 80/20 in #6 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.
  16. Delegate. If there are things that can be better done by others or things that are not so important, consider delegating. This takes a load off and you can focus on the important tasks.
  17. Batch similar tasks together. For related work, batch them together. For example, my work can be categorized into these core groups: (1) writing (articles, my upcoming book) (2) coaching (3) workshop development (4) business development (5) administrative. I batch all the related tasks together so there's synergy. If I need to make calls, I allocate a time slot to make all my calls. It really streamlines the process.
  18. Eliminate your time wasters. What takes your time away your work? Facebook? Twitter? Email checking? Stop checking them so often. One thing you can do is make it hard to check them – remove them from your browser quick links / bookmarks and stuff them in a hard to access bookmarks folder. Replace your browser bookmarks with important work-related sites. While you'll still check FB/Twitter no doubt, you'll find it's a lower frequency than before.
  19. Cut off when you need to. #1 reason why things overrun is because you don't cut off when you have to. Don't be afraid to intercept in meetings or draw a line to cut-off. Otherwise, there's never going to be an end and you'll just eat into the time for later.
  20. Leave buffer time in-between. Don't pack everything closely together. Leave a 5-10 minute buffer time in between each tasks. This helps you wrap up the previous task and start off on the next one.
Do you have any tips to be a better time manager? Feel free to share in the comments area!
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10 Examples of Clear Boundaries



What are boundaries?

Boundaries help to create healthy relationships. Think of them as a psychological fence between people: this is you, and this is me. We are separate. Our boundaries help to establish guidelines about suitable behavior and responsibilities. Boundaries build "win-win" relationships. I can be good to both you and me through healthy boundaries. If I close the door when I enter the bathroom, I am establishing a physical and psychological boundary: Closing or locking the door means I want to be alone when I'm in the bathroom.
Boundaries are essential if your loved one is a smoker or addict. As you claim your power with boundaries, you raise the likelihood that your loved one gets better. Boundary setting is absolutely essential when you're dealing with addiction, particularly teenage drug abuse.

Who needs boundaries?

Everyone needs to have healthy boundaries in relationships. There are three types of people who particularly need boundaries.

1.    DOORMATS~Some people have been raised to believe that martyrdom, self-denial and incessant caretaking are righteous virtues to be practiced to the point of misery. When people are doormats, they allow others to take advantage of them.

2.   ENABLERS~Then there are parents who want to make sure their children have everything they didn't get, and they protected them from every problem and emotion. It's the other side of the coin and it's just as bad. These people create a sense of over-entitlement, over-protection and inflated self esteem in their children.

3.    PLEASERS~ Some people focus so much on pleasing others that they don't focus on taking care of themselves. They avoid conflict, and have no sense of who they are, what they feel, need, want, or think. They take on the feelings of others as if they are their own. Sometimes they tolerate abuse or disrespectful treatment and can't see the flaws or weaknesses in others.

Why have boundaries?

·    Boundaries are important to help protect and care for oneself. If you're not getting the respect that you deserve, take a look at your boundaries.
·    Boundaries are also an important part of raising children. You can't be a good parent without good boundaries. Not only do you value yourself as you establish boundaries, you're teaching your children to value themselves.
·    Boundaries help you to define yourself. Without boundaries, you won't know who you are, what you want, or how you feel.
·    Boundaries help to minimize stress and conflict in a relationship. With clear boundaries, there's nothing to argue about.

Telltale signs that you need better boundaries

·    You're constantly telling him what to do.
·    You're warning him about what will happen if he doesn't do it.
·    You're bringing up the past of what he did wrong.
·    You're giving him solutions when he hasn't asked for them.
·    You're preaching about what people should and shouldn't do.
·    You're criticizing.
·    You're mind-reading.
·    You're sending guilt trips.

How Do You Set Healthy Boundaries?

Setting healthy boundaries involves taking care of yourself and knowing what you like, need, want, and don't want. It also involves (1) going inside of yourself to figure out what you feel and then (2) clearly communicating that with the other person.

Examples of clear boundaries:

1.    "Yes, I'll be happy to drive you to the mall as soon as you're finished with your chores."
2.    "I want to hear about your day. I'll be free to give you my full attention in 15 minutes."
3.    "You can borrow my CDs just as soon as you replace the one that you damaged."
4.    "If you put your dirty clothes in the hamper by 9:00 Saturday morning, I'll be happy to wash them for you."
5.    "Can I give Jessica a message? Our calling hours are from 9:00 a.m. until 9:00 p.m. I'll let her know that you called."
6.    "I'm sorry; that doesn't work for me.  I won't be loaning you money until you have paid me what I loaned you previously."
7.    "You're welcome to live here while you're going to college as long as you follow our rules."
8.    "I'm not willing to argue with you."
9.    "I'll be happy to talk with you when your voice is as calm as mine."
10.    "I love you and I'm not willing to call in sick for you when you've been drinking."

Get help.

Boundaries need to be clear, specific, and clearly communicated. You may need to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it before doing so. For more information, please visit our company website here resolutionsutah & tgcoy
Practice with someone else who can help you. Good luck!