Certain rituals that we follow in life, like a wedding, make us slow down and have deeper, more profound life experiences. Such experiences help us celebrate the good times and heal from the bad. But once we take these major milestones, we often fail to follow through. Our marriage, for instance, also needs rituals to deal with trying times and to increase the passion and aliveness in our intimate relationship. It's amazing to think what miraculous things can happen between a couple when new positive, behavior patterns are developed. Here are 8 things you can try:
1. Before you get started on your busy day, take a moment to cuddle in bed. This need not last long, even a minute will do. But starting your day like this really sets the tone of your intimate relationship.
2. If you spend most of your day apart, pause a few times during your workday to text or call your partner. This lets them know that you are thinking of them. You can be humorous, flirtatious, or just plain interested in what is happening in your partner's world.
3. Spend 10 minutes talking about your feelings every day or evening. During these 10 minutes, focus on one another's inner experiences rather than each other's to-do list. Don't use these 10 minutes to make plans but rather to explore the pain that either person may be experiencing. It's also a good opportunity to talk about pleasant feelings as well.
4. Always make it a point to kiss your partner good-bye. Before heading out of the door, be sure to never leave the house without kissing your significant other and wishing them well.
5. Leave each other notes in unexpected places. It's incredible what a world of good a simple post-it can do to a relationship. Keep it simple and speak honestly. You may even have forgotten you wrote it by the time your lover may find it, possibly months later, and it will delight you both.
6. Thank your partner regularly. No matter how small, be sure to thank your partner for all the tiny ways they make your life better, be it by doing a load of laundry, unloading the dishwasher or simply being there.
7. Apologize when necessary. We all make mistakes, and we all have our shortcomings but saying I'm sorry means a lot, even if the crime is relatively minor.
8. Spend every moment you can touching your partner tenderly. If you wake up to drink or go to the bathroom at night, take a second to touch your partner tenderly when you get back to bed, even if its for a brief moment, or you're semi-conscious. It doesn't matter if they are sleeping, they'll register the affection on some level.