There it is in your inbox: a meeting invite to a meeting you really don't want to attend. Maybe because it's shoe-horned i...
There it is in your inbox: a meeting invite to a meeting you really don't want to attend. Maybe because it's shoe-horned into one of the few remaining white spaces in your calendar. Or it's for a time that's already booked, and now you're left to decide whom to turn down. Whatever the reason, sometimes you need to decline a meeting invite
Your first challenge is deciding which meetings to decline. A little discipline goes a long way here. Establish a set of criteria for participation and stick with it.
Start by assessing the value of the meeting. Is the meeting about something important, timely, and worthwhile? Is it set up for success by having a clear purpose and agenda? Is there background information available to inform participants in advance? Are the appropriate people invited so that meaningful progress can be made? If the value of the meeting isn't clear from the invitation, reply back with a few open-ended questions before making your decision:
If you can't say yes to any of the three criteria above, then it's appropriate to decline the meeting, but tread carefully. You want to leave your co-worker feeling that you're a good team player and a positive contributor, even if you don't attend her meeting. Consider a few different options:
Can I stop the meeting altogether? If the meeting failed criteria #1 because you don't believe it's set up for success, take a moment to talk with the organizer about your concerns. It's possible the person will dismiss your comments, but it's possible that you trigger one of two positive outcomes: either the meeting gets better positioned for success or it gets cancelled. Try one of the following approaches:
It might be a bit of a culture shock at first, but all the overwhelmed people with 35 hours a week of meetings will quickly admire your discipline. Just remember, you need to afford the same courtesy to the people who decline the invites you send!
There it is in your inbox: a meeting invite to a meeting you really don't want to attend. Maybe because it's shoe-horned into one of the few remaining white spaces in your calendar. Or it's for a time that's already booked, and now you're left to decide whom to turn down. Whatever the reason, sometimes you need to decline a meeting invite
Your first challenge is deciding which meetings to decline. A little discipline goes a long way here. Establish a set of criteria for participation and stick with it.
Start by assessing the value of the meeting. Is the meeting about something important, timely, and worthwhile? Is it set up for success by having a clear purpose and agenda? Is there background information available to inform participants in advance? Are the appropriate people invited so that meaningful progress can be made? If the value of the meeting isn't clear from the invitation, reply back with a few open-ended questions before making your decision:
- "Could you please provide some additional information on the agenda?"
- "What stage of decision making are we at on this topic?"
- "How should I prepare for the discussion?"
- "What are you looking for me to contribute at this meeting?"
- "Who else will be there from my department?"
- "Who will I be representing?"
If you can't say yes to any of the three criteria above, then it's appropriate to decline the meeting, but tread carefully. You want to leave your co-worker feeling that you're a good team player and a positive contributor, even if you don't attend her meeting. Consider a few different options:
Can I stop the meeting altogether? If the meeting failed criteria #1 because you don't believe it's set up for success, take a moment to talk with the organizer about your concerns. It's possible the person will dismiss your comments, but it's possible that you trigger one of two positive outcomes: either the meeting gets better positioned for success or it gets cancelled. Try one of the following approaches:
- "This is an interesting topic. Based on our current year priorities, I'm not sure we're ready for a productive conversation yet. Would it be possible to push this meeting back and let the working group make a little more progress before we meet?"
- "I'm looking forward to making some decisions on this issue. From the meeting invite, it doesn't look like Production is involved. I would like to wait until someone from Production is willing to join. Otherwise, we won't be able to make any decisions."
- "Based on the information in the invitation, it looks like this meeting is for informational purposes. Would it be possible to get a summary sent out rather than convening a meeting?"
- "I'm flattered that you are interested in my input. I don't believe I'm the best qualified on this topic. I did a little digging and it looks like Pat would have the necessary context. Would you be comfortable inviting Pat rather than me?"
- "Given that this is a decision-making meeting, I think it's more appropriate to have my manager represent our team."
- "Thanks for the invite to this meeting. I don't think I'm required at this point. If it's alright with you, I'd like to send Jose as my delegate."
- "This is going to be an important discussion. I'm not able to attend, but I will find some time to share my thoughts so you can include them in the discussion."
- "I'm sorry that I can't attend the meeting. If I prepare you in advance, could I ask that you represent my ideas at the meeting?"
- "Thanks for the invite. I think it's really important for me to be part of the discussion on rebranding. Given a few other priorities at the moment, I'm going to excuse myself once that item is complete."
- "Would it be possible to cover the rebranding discussion as the first agenda item? I can't stay for the entire meeting but I'd really like to contribute on that one."
It might be a bit of a culture shock at first, but all the overwhelmed people with 35 hours a week of meetings will quickly admire your discipline. Just remember, you need to afford the same courtesy to the people who decline the invites you send!
Liane Davey is the cofounder of 3COze Inc. She is the author of You First: Inspire Your Team to Grow Up, Get Along, and Get Stuff Done and a coauthor of Leadership Solutions: The Pathway to Bridge the Leadership Gap. Follow her on Twitter at @LianeDavey.
Source:
https://hbr.org