(Your competition is with yourself)
Comparing ourselves with others creates a fake sense of being, and curbs our uniqueness and individuality. There are numerous other reasons why a constant comparison with others is a bad idea.
"Comparison is the thief of joy" Theodore Roosevelt
Comparing ourselves with others comes naturally to a lot of us. It is a trait that we develop early on in our lives. Remember how our teachers used to portray the head boy/girl as the role model for all of us. We were expected to be like them. Even at home, comparisons with siblings were inevitable. The burden of expectations always bordered upon how you fared with the best performer of the team. And in case, you were the best performer, the comparison with others only created an impression of strength and superiority.
Why Comparing Ourselves with Others is Futile
Comparison creates dependency on others.
When we indulge in comparison, the way we think about ourselves becomes dependent upon how we perceive others around us. If we are doing better than A, we get an emotional boost, but as soon as we know about B's affluence, we pity ourselves for not being able to achieve much in life. Comparisons with others only create a fake sense of being, and we find ourselves trying to keep up with others at all costs.
Comparison pushes us to be 'at par' with others.
Comparing ourselves with others takes away our individuality. It forces us to do things that we ideally don't want to do.
When we engage in the game of comparison, it becomes difficult for us to think pragmatically. We are blinded by the expectations of being 'at par' with our competitors. The urge of having the same set of luxuries that others can afford, engulfs us, curbing our real qualities. We endlessly compare ourselves to our neighbors and relatives, and base our decisions on gaining a positive perception from them.
Comparison causes envy and jealousy.
Comparison is one of the major reasons for creating envy and jealousy among people. For example, it often happens that the moment we come to know that a peer or a relative has bought a new car, a feeling of envy masked by condescension overpowers us. Instead of being happy for them, we criticize their decision, and make up our mind that they have given in to imprudence, and are doomed to fail. We start making assumptions about how could they possibly afford it, convincing ourselves at the same time that they will soon be under debts. In reality, the perception that the friend will now get more respect and approval from others, pesters us from inside and creates a sense of being less-worthy from him. We constantly battle against ourselves, and look for ways to beat him in this perceived competition.
Comparison limits our potential.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
The first thing to do to stay away from the mire of comparisons is to love yourself for who you are. You may think that you are not perfect, but that is what makes us humans different from each other. As Oscar Wilde famously put it, "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." Accepting yourself with all your flaws is pertinent if you really want to experience inner peace and calmness. Being content with what you have doesn't mean that you stay in a cocoon, and shy away from taking any steps to improve your skills. What it means is that you set realistic targets for yourself, and work towards achieving them.
Realize that constant comparison is a bad habit.
The problem with constant comparison is that it is ingrained in us from a pretty young age, and therefore, we indulge in comparisons subconsciously. Ask a group of people whether they compare themselves to others, you will not get too many affirmations. When we do something far too often, without knowing its repercussions, we fail to see it as a vice. Therefore, to extricate ourselves from the web of unnecessary comparisons, we need to be aware of what we are doing. Any time you feel that you are trying to measure up to somebody, engage in self-talk, and convince yourself that this whole idea can be noxious for you. Constantly look out for such behavior, and dissociate your mind from such feelings. Over a period of time, you will see that the urge to always compare yourself with others has gone down.
Appreciate the efforts of your peers.
Many of us view life as a competition, where you always have to fight to survive, but we should keep in mind that life is also a journey of finding our inner-self, and discovering the true potential that is inherently present in all of us. Once we focus on our individual journey, all comparisons with others cease to exist.
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- Learn These Skills To Become A Great Manager
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- Story: The Monkey And The Apples
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- Story: Controlling Negative Thoughts
- Being Afraid of Failures
- RACI Technique for Effective Project Management
- 6 Techniques to develop Empathic Skills
- 7 Cardinal Rules For Life
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Goal Setting : Learn how to set realistic goals, prioritize tasks, and track milestones to improve performance and morale.
Managing Upward : Learn insight into developing a mutually rewarding relationship, with skills for communicating and negotiating with your manager, presenting problems or opportunities to your supervisor and accepting responsibility for your proposed actions.
Meeting Management : Learn about planning and conducting meetings from start to finish; preparation, keeping the meeting on track, and follow-up and dealing with problem behaviors exhibited by meeting participants.
New Manager Transitions : Learn what it means to be a manager, as well as how to navigate the complex and often stressful transition from individual contributor to a new manager.
Presentation Skills : Learn about preparing and delivering presentations that command attention, persuade, and inspire, rehearsal techniques, creating and using more effective visuals, understanding your objectives and your audience to create a presentation with impact.
Stress Management : Learn the difference between positive stress that enhances productivity and negative stress that breeds tension, lowers productivity, and undercuts job satisfaction, strategies for dealing with underlying causes of worry and stress, tactical coping mechanisms for immediate problem management.
Time Management : Learn how to analyze how you currently spend your time and pinpoint opportunities for improvement, set goals, prioritize tasks, plan your time efficiently using scheduling tools, control time-wasters, and evaluate your schedule once it is underway.
Writing Skills : Learn how to accomplish your business objectives and extends your influence as a manager, create clearer, more effective written communications, guidelines for preparing memos, letters, emails, and other common business documents.
Career Management : Learn how to manage your career--including how to identify your business interests, professional values, and skills in order to target your most exciting career possibilities.
Coaching : Learn how to strengthen your coaching skills to facilitate the professional growth of the employees you coach.
Developing Employees : Learn how to encourage your employees to learn and grow, while maximizing the return on the management time you invest in employee development.
Difficult Interactions : Learn how to discuss and resolve difficult interactions in the workplace--whether with employees, peers, bosses, or even suppliers and customers.
Feedback Essentials : Learn when and how to give effective positive or corrective feedback, how to offer feedback upward, and how to receive feedback.
Global Collaboration : Learn critical skills required to manage a cross-cultural collaboration, including negotiating, building trust, overcoming language barriers, and navigating the geographical and technological challenges of working across continents.
Hiring : Learn how to identify the particular skill set needed for a job, and then how to research and interview leading candidates until you find the one who best fills your need.
Leading and Motivating : Learn about the essential tasks of leadership: setting direction, aligning people, and motivating others. Learn how to recognize the skills and characteristics of effective leaders, create an inspiring vision, and energize people to support and work toward your goals.
Performance Appraisal : Learn how to prepare for, conduct, and follow up on performance evaluations--in ways that link employee performance to your company's and group's goals.
Retaining Employees : Learn strategies for attracting and keeping top performers, how to handle common obstacles to retention such as burnout and work/life imbalance, and how to develop programs that address the diverse needs and interests of your workforce.
Team Leadership : Learn how to establish a team with the right mix of skills and personalities and create a culture that promotes collaborative work, steps to leading an effective team and includes innovative, easy-to-implement self-evaluation tools.
Team Management : Learn how to diagnose and overcome common problems - such as poor communication and interpersonal conflict - that can impede team progress, learn to take corrective measures to remove team problems and improve team performance.
Virtual Teams : Learn how to create concrete suggestions for forming virtual teams, including assessing their technology and communication needs, structuring the team to build trust, and keeping the team on track
"The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years." – Deepak Chopra
How you value fitness, healthy eating, stress reduction, and sleeping all impact how much happiness you feel. Emotions are linked to many physical properties in your body. The mind – body connection is very real, and often just adding exercise, sunshine, extra shut-eye, or a healthier diet can improve your mood immediately
He admired his new possessions proudly as he wandered the jungle. They glistened red in the sun, and seemed perfect to him. He became so attached to them, that he didn't even notice his hunger at first.
A fruit tree reminded him, but he felt the apples in his hands. He couldn't bear to set them down to reach for the fruit. In fact, he couldn't relax, either, if he was to defend his apples. A proud, but
less happy monkey continued to walk along the forest trails.
The apples became heavier, and the poor little monkey thought about leaving them behind. He was tired, hungry, and he couldn't climb trees or collect fruit with his hands full. What if he just let go?
Letting go of such valuable things seemed crazy, but what else could he do? He was so tired. Seeing the next fruit tree, and smelling it's fruit was enough. He dropped the wooden apples and reached up for his meal. He was happy again.
Like that little monkey, we sometimes carry things that seem too valuable to let go. A man carries an image of himself as "productive" - carries it like a shiny wooden apple. But in reality, his busyness leaves him tired, and hungry for a better life. Still, letting go seems crazy. Even his worries are sacred apples - they prove he's "doing everything he can." He holds onto them compulsively.
"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one."
Many people become the product of their pasts. They are the causalities of regret, sorrow, what ifs, and hindsight vision. While we can all learn from our past, staying there is not practical to living in the present. The past can't be changed or relived. To constantly dwell on it does not create an emotionally healthy outlook.
By Junaid Tahir
If you carefully observe the people who are in stress, you will notice that they keep thinking about a specific event, conversation, failure, brawl or hard luck again and again which has happened to them in past. Such people do not have control on their thinking process hence they allow their brain to keep wandering in the past. While It's a known fact that bad luck happens to everyone, it's people's attitude and the quantum of reaction which defines the degree of stress. Since stress and happiness are vice versa so more stress results in less happiness or in some cases loss of happiness. Article written by Junaid.Tahir
Always remember that everyone passes through tragic moments in life however
you will agree that the more you think about bad things happened in the past, the more magnitude of stress you give birth to. Hence the chains of negativity and stress around your neck need to be broken and thrown away so as to move on with your life.
The fact remains the same that you cannot change the past, neither you can boil the ocean so a wise person would not keep thinking about something which has already happened instead he would learn the lesson from the past and take measures which need to be done in order to prevent such happening in future. A wise man will always focus on the solutions instead of thinking about the problems. Article written by Junaid.Tahir
So here is what I recommend:
Take a pen and list down all the issues bothering you right now. You will, eventually, end up with a very limited number of issues causing depression back and forth. Now the next step is to split these issues into two groups. One group for which you do have some solution and the other group should contain the issues which are out of control. The worries and sorrows from the second group should be shun away. You need to train your brain not to think of something which is beyond control. Divert your focus on the issues for which you can do something. Do it now because this time will also become past and you would be cursing these moments for taking action at right time.
The next day he had to leave to visit his relatives in another country for two weeks. When he came back, the back yard was covered in weeds and all his produce was dead!
Likewise, if we allow just one bad thought in our head and fail to remove it, it will sprout and instead of having to pick one weed, we will have too much to control.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." – Winston Churchill
Some people are so afraid of making a mistake that they never try. Just imagine how that would have worked out when you were learning to walk! You'd probably still be crawling. Unfortunately, we sometimes lose our bravery as adults and fear trying anything because it may not work. If you embrace this mindset, you will never live up to your potential. This can create a huge dissatisfaction in your life.
RACI denotes Responsible, Accountable, Consulted and Informed, which are four parameters used in a matrix used in decision making. RACI chart tool outlines the activities undertaken within an organization to that of the people or roles.
In an organization, people can be allocated or assigned to specific roles for which they are responsible, accountable, consulted or informed.
RACI chart tool is a great tool when it comes to identifying employee roles within an organization. This tool can be successfully used when there is role confusion within the company. Role confusion may lead to unproductive work culture.
Parameters in RACI Chart Tool
RACI chart tool represents four parameters as we have already noted in the Introduction. Following are the meanings for each of these parameters:
Responsible: This is a person, who performs a task or work and he/she is responsible for the work.
Accountable: Primarily the person in charge of the task or work.
Consulted: Person, who gives feedback, contribute as and when required.
Informed: Person in charge who needs to know the action or decision taken.
A sample RACI tool:
Benefits of a RACI Chart Tool:
Following are the well-noted benefits of this tool for the business organizations:
Identifying the workload that have been assigned to specific employees or departments
Making sure that the processes are not overlooked
Ensuring that new recruits are explained of their roles and responsibilities
Finding the right balance between the line and project responsibilities
Redistributing work between groups to get the work done faster
Open to resolving conflicts and discussions
Documenting the roles and responsibilities of the people within the organization
How is RACI Chart Tool Used?
Identifying key functions and processes within an organization is the first step towards using the RACI chart tool. Then, the organization needs to outline the activities that take place and should avoid any miscellaneous activities.
Following are the detailed steps for using RACI chart tool:
Explain each activity that had taken place.
Create phrases to indicate the result of the decision made.
Decisions and activities need to be applied to the role rather than targeting the person.
Create a matrix, which represents the roles and activities and enter the RACI Code created.
Once all the relevant data have been collated and input onto the RACI chart tool, any discrepancies need to be resolved.
Changing Management Issues:
The primary reason for creating a RACI chart tool is to resolve organizational issues. It looks at three main factors:
Role conception: The attitude or thinking of people towards their work roles
Role expectation: The expectation of a person with regards to another person's job role.
Role behavior: The activities of people in their job function.
These three concepts help management to identify the misconceptions that people have towards their job roles.
Reasons for Role Confusion:
Although role confusion can be solved using RACI chart tool, it is always a good idea to identify the reasons behind such confusion. This helps the organization to avoid such situations occurring in the future.
Following are some of the reasons for role confusion:
Improper balance of work
Passing on the ball, being irresponsible
Confused as to who makes the decisions
Filling idle time by creating and attending to non-essential time
Don't care since no one's bothered attitude
When to Use RACI Chart Tool?
RACI chart tool can be successfully used under the following conditions.
For employees to get a clear understanding of the role and responsibilities around the work process.
To improve the understanding of function between departments and responsibilities within one's department.
To clearly define the roles and responsibilities of team members, who are working on a project.
Steps Taken When Designing RACI Chart Tool:
The first step towards designing RACI chart tool is that the management needs to identify the process or function that faces issues. The process or feature needs to be thoroughly investigated in terms of its requirements and objectives.
The roles or job functions need to be identified in terms as to which ones will be impacted and who will be implementing the changes.
The roles to be created will have its owner. The management needs to assign a role to each individual.
Identify who has an R role (responsible) and then it needs to be listed in terms of A, C and I. RACI chart tools do not work in a way that two people will be held responsible (R) for the same thing.
Review needs to be conducted so that there are no duplicates in the process.
RACI chart tool is a useful and effective decision making tool that helps to define roles and responsibilities. This is used to identify inefficiencies of organizational roles.
It helps to resolve any functional issues that arise within departments or between individuals.
The main objective of RACI chart tool is to eliminate role confusions and to be able to deliver the product or service successfully to the customer and contribute to the long-term organizational objectives.
If you would like to receive the RACI chart in Excel, Please drop me a line: mjunaidtahir at-gmail_dot__com
Empathy is the skill to understand the emotions of people and to treat them according to their emotional reaction. This skill is closely linked with the emotional intelligence which is basically analyzing, assessing and managing the emotion of oneself and others. So by developing and practicing this skill not only you resolve someone's problems but also win their hearts.
2. Compromising on Ethical Values
3. Resolving conflicts
4. Avoid Frequent Mood Swings
5. Attaining Peace of Mind
1) Make peace with your past So it wont disturb your Present
2) What other people think of you is none of your business
3) Time HEALS almost everything. Give TIME
4) No One is In charge Of Your Happiness, Except You.
5) Don't compare your Life To Others & Don't Judge them , You Have No IDEA What their Journey is all about
6) STOP Thinking too much, Its all right not to know the answers.They will come to you when least expected.
7) SMILE. You don't own all the problems in the WORLD.