Blog Archive

17 Things for Raising Confident Kids


1. Appreciate effort no matter if they win or lose
2. Encourage practice to build competence
3. Let them figure out problems by themselves
4. Let them act their age
5. Encourage curiosity
6. Give them new challenges
7. Avoid creating short cuts or making exceptions for your child
8. Never criticise their performance
9. Treat mistakes as building blocks for learning
10. Open the door to new experiences
11. Teach them what you know how to do
12. Don't tell them when you're worried about them
13. Praise them when they deal with adversity/hardship
14. Offer your help and support, but not too much of it
15. Applaud their courage to try something new
16. Celebrate the excitement of learning
17. Be authoritative, but not too forceful or strict



Give Blessings

 

We are all blessed with life and all the opportunities it brings, though most of us forget to notice. But we also have blessings to give. In fact, the opportunity to give our blessings may be the greatest blessing of all.
By bestowing our good wishes, encouraging, empowering others, we bless. And when we do, they return a thousand-fold. Bless and be blessed.

Story: The Hardworking Father



Father was a hardworking man who delivered bread as a living to support his wife and three children. He spent all his evenings after work attending classes, hoping to improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job. Except for Sundays, Father hardly ate a meal together with his family. He worked and studied very hard because he wanted to provide his family with the best money could buy.

Whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

The day came when the examination results were announced. To his joy, Father passed, and with distinctions too! Soon after, he was offered a good job as a senior supervisor which paid handsomely.

Like a dream come true, Father could now afford to provide his family with life’s little luxuries like nice clothing, fine food and vacation abroad.

However, the family still did not get to see father for most of the week. He continued to work very hard, hoping to be promoted to the position of manager. In fact, to make himself a worthily candidate for the promotion, he enrolled for another course in the open university.

Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

Father’s hard work paid off and he was promoted. Jubilantly, he decided to hire a maid to relieve his wife from her domestic tasks. He also felt that their three-room flat was no longer big enough, it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy the facilities and comfort of a condominium. Having experienced the rewards of his hard work many times before, Father resolved to further his studies and work at being promoted again. The family still did not get to see much of him. In fact, sometimes Father had to work on Sundays entertaining clients. Again, whenever the family complained that he was not spending enough time with them, he reasoned that he was doing all this for them. But he often yearned to spend more time with his family.

As expected, Father’s hard work paid off again and he bought a beautiful condominium overlooking the coast of Singapore. On the first Sunday evening at their new home, Father declared to his family that he decided not to take anymore courses or pursue any more promotions. From then on he was going to devote more time to his family.

Father did not wake up the next day.
Do you spend enough Quality Time with your Family?

Top 4 Ways to BE Positive and Happy Everyday

 
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” – Author Unknown

On a normal day, there are many ups and downs we each have to go through. Some we have no choice but to go through, while others we can avoid. But all in all, none of these downs should affect your core inner happiness and positive attitude.

Yes, we each, at our core, are happy and positive people. That’s our true nature. Not the frantic, stressed out person we become after a hard days work…that’s not our core self, that’s external pressures taking its toll on our being.

There are ways to make everyday positive and happy regardless of any ups and downs we may face. Ups and down can’t be avoided, but what you can avoid is the negative effect they have on your being.
 
Here are 4 ways to be positive and happy everyday no matter what the situation:

Carry a positive Trigger- OK, we all tend to freak out the second something is not going according to plan, or according to the way we expect it to work out. Its in these situation specifically that you need a kind of trigger to push your mind back to the positive track. Whether you’re at home, work or the supermarket a positive trigger can be a picture, a quote, a key chain, or even a text on your phone. Anything that can be carried with you at all times and has the ability to make you think positive happy thoughts. Just flip out this positive trigger when you are down and get right back on the positive track.

Smile Consciously- There are days, when I carry that plastic smile around. I might meet people, smile and greet them cordially on those days, but haven’t really done it happily. Every morning when I awake, I make myself a promise, to smile like I mean it. Believe me just one smile coming from the heart can not only make your whole being happy, but also spread the happiness to all those who you encounter. Making this a practice everyday, very simply adds to your core happiness quotient.

Feel Deeper- I had a sheltered childhood when I was growing up. Never knew what poverty or being less privileged meant. But I still remember my Dad bringing me National Geographic magazines and BBC documentaries to read and watch(there was no cable when I was growing up), so that I could know what was going on around the world. I have cried buckets watching them and then when I moved back to India and saw those conditions with my own two eyes, I really felt this need to DO more. I believe that till you can FEEL their pain, you know you are on the positive track. You are a good person. When you stop feeling, it means there is some part of your heart that’s not alive. Feeling another’s pain and trying to DO something about it brings about an immense sense of happiness and satisfaction within. Try it. Just Be there and lend your loving hand to someone everyday…..feel deeper to be happier.

Read Wisdom- There are a few books I have on my night stand and few on my work desk, which are full of inspirational words and prayers. When I am having a particularly difficult day, I just pick up any one book and read a paragraph. Instantly I’m back into thinking and feeling happy and positive. My friends Evita and Tess have these little cards full of inspirational quotes on their desks, fridges and walls to get them thinking happy positive thoughts. When you have inspiration around you, its hard not to get right back on the happy positive wagon.

17 Things to Raise A More Confident Child

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Confidence is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child. 

Carl Pickhardt, a psychologist and author of 15 parenting books, says a kid who lacks confidence will be reluctant to try new or challenging things because they're scared of failing or disappointing others.
This can end up holding them back later in life and prevent them from having a successful career.
"The enemies of confidence are discouragement and fear," he says. So, as a parent, it's your job to encourage and support your child as they attempt to tackle difficult tasks.
Here are 17 more tips for raising a confident child: 
Natalie Walters contributed to a previous version of this article.
 

1. Appreciate effort no matter if they win or lose
 
When you're growing up, the journey is more important than the destination. 
So whether your child makes the winning goal for his team or accidentally kicks it out of bounds, applaud their effort, Pickhardt says. They should never feel embarrassed for trying.
"Over the long haul, consistently trying hard builds more confidence than intermittently doing well," he explains. 

2. Encourage practice to build competence
Encourage your child to practice whatever it is they're interested in -- but do so without putting too much pressure on them.
Harmony Shu, a piano prodigy, told Ellen DeGeneres that she started practicing when she was just 3 years old.
"Practice invests effort in the confident expectation that improvement will follow," Pickhardt explains. 

3. Let them figure out problems by themselves
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(AP)
 
If you do the hard work for your child then they'll never develop the abilities or the confidence to figure out problems on their own.
"Parental help can prevent confidence derived from self-help and figuring out on the child's own," Pickhardt explains. 
In other words, better that your child gets a few B's and C's rather than straight A's, so long as they are actually learning how to solve the problems and do the work. 

4. Let them act their age
Don't expect your child to act like an adult. "When a child feels that only performing as well as parents is good enough, that unrealistic standard may discourage effort," he says. "Striving to meet advanced age expectations can reduce confidence."

5. Encourage curiosity
http://www.dailytenminutes.com/2015/07/parenting-10-steps-for-monitoring-and.html
Sometimes a child's endless stream of questions can be tiresome, but it should be encouraged.
Paul Harris of Harvard University told The Guardian that asking questions is a helpful exercise for a child's development because it means they realize that "there are things they don't know ... that there are invisible worlds of knowledge they have never visited."
When children start school, those from households that encouraged curious questions have an edge over the rest of their classmates because they've had practice taking in information from their parents, The Guardian reported, and that translates to taking in information from their teacher. In other words, they know how to learn better and faster.

6. Give them new challenges
Show your child that they can make and accomplish small goals to reach a big accomplishment -- like riding a bike without training wheels. 
"Parents can nurture confidence by increasing responsibilities that must be met," Pickhardt explains. 

7. Avoid creating short cuts or making exceptions for your child
Special treatment can communicate a lack of confidence, Pickhardt says. "Entitlement is no substitute for confidence."

8. Never criticise their performance
Nothing will discourage your child more than criticizing his or her efforts. Giving useful feedback and making suggestions is fine -- but never tell them they're doing a bad job.
If your kid is scared to fail because they worry you'll be angry or disappointed, they'll never try new things.
"More often than not, parental criticism reduces the child's self-valuing and motivation," says Pickhardt.

9. Treat mistakes as building blocks for learning
"Learning from mistakes builds confidence," he says. But this only happens when you, as a parent, treat mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow. 
Don't be over-protective of your child. Allow them to mess up every now and then, and help them understand how they can better approach the task next time. 
Pickhardt says parents should see "uh-oh" moments as an opportunity to teach their kids not to fear failure.

10. Open the door to new experiences
Pickhardt says you, as a parent, have a responsibility to "increase life exposures and experiences so the child can develop confidence in coping with a larger world." 
Exposing children to new things teaches them that no matter how scary and different something seems, they can conquer it.

11. Teach them what you know how to do
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You are your child's hero -- at least until they're a teenager. 
Use that power to teach them what you know about how to think, act, and speak. Set a good example, and be a role model.
Pickhardt says watching you succeed will help your child be more confident that they can do the same.

12. Don't tell them when you're worried about them
 Parental worry can often be interpreted by the child as a vote of no confidence, he says. "Expressing parental confidence engenders the child's confidence."

13. Praise them when they deal with adversity
 Life is not fair. It's hard, and every child will have to learn that at some point. 
When they do encounter hardships, Pickhardt says parents should point out how enduring these challenges will increase their resilience.
It's important to remind your child that every road to success is filled with setbacks, he adds.

14. Offer your help and support, but not too much of it
Giving too much assistance too soon can reduce the child's ability for self-help, says Pickhardt.
"Making parental help contingent on the child's self-help first can build confidence."

15. Applaud their courage to try something new
 Whether it's trying out for the travel basketball team or going on their first roller coaster, Pickhardt says parents should praise their kids for trying new things. He suggests saying something as simple as, "You are brave to try this!"
"Comfort comes from sticking to the familiar; courage is required to dare the new and different," he says. 

16. Celebrate the excitement of learning
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Parenting - Reasons Behind Children's Unexpected Behavior
Prepare Children for the Road, Not prepare Road for Children
The Tree Test for People in Your Life
A Reminder for Husbands
The Role of Fathers
10 Highly Effective Study Habits
 
Kids look to their parents for how they should react to things. So if you get excited about them learning how to swim, or speaking a new language, then they'll be excited about those things too. 
"Learning is hard work and, when accomplished, creates confidence to learn more, so celebrate this willingness to grow," Pickhardt advises. 

17. Be authoritative, but not too forceful or strict
When parents are too strict or demanding, the child's confidence to self-direct can be reduced.
"Dependence on being told can keep the child from acting bold," he says.
Source: TheIndependent
 

Story: The Hunter Neighbor


A farmer in ancient China had a neighbour who was a hunter, and who owned ferocious and poorly trained hunting dogs. They jumped over the fence frequently and chased the farmer's lambs. The farmer asked his neighbour to keep his dogs in check, but this fell on deaf ears.
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One day the dogs again jumped the fence, attacked and severely injured several of the lambs. The farmer had had enough, and went to town to consult a judge who listened carefully to the story and said: "I could punish the hunter and instruct him to keep his dogs chained or lock them up. But you would lose a friend and gain an enemy. Which would you rather have, friend or foe for a neighbour?"
The farmer replied that he preferred a friend.
“Alright, I will offer you a solution that keeps your lambs safe, and which will keep your a neighbour a friend."
 
Having heard the judge's solution, the farmer agreed.
 
Once at home, the farmer immediately put the judge's suggestions to the test.
He took three of his best lambs and presented them to his neighbour's three small sons, who were beside themselves with joy and began to play with them.
To protect his son's newly acquired playthings, the hunter built a strong kennel for his dogs.
 
Since then, the dogs never again bothered the farmer's lambs.
Out of gratitude for the farmer's generosity toward his sons, the hunter often shared the game he had hunted with the farmer.
 
The farmer reciprocated by sending the hunter the cheese he had made.
Within a short time the neighbours became good friends.
 
A saying in old China went something like this,
One can win over and influence people the best with gestures of kindness and compassion.”
 
A similar Western saying:
One catches more flies with honey than with vinegar."
 
Let us make an effort to be polite when we speak and not make rude and sarcastic remarks at every opportunity we get, especially with our families, friends and colleagues.

Some Thoughtful Lines

  • ​In spite of so many colors - Black & White is considered Class.
  • In spite of so many voices words & sounds - Silence is considered ultimate.
  • In spite of so much to eat - Fasting is considered healthy.
  • In spite of so much to travel & explore - Meditating under trees & mountains is considered superior.
  • In spite of so much to see - Closing your eyes & looking within is Apex.
  • In spite of listening to all the outside world - Voice from inside You is eternal.
  • In spite of a Sweet charming Life - A Peaceful Soul is Solace & Divine.

Realize It is Possible !

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Realize it’s possible, instead of telling yourself why you can’t.
Whenever we start something new, we often start by NOT believing in ourselves. We start by thinking, "oh I really cant do that. Its too difficult. Its not my thing......"
This kind of negative thinking is not only damaging to the project at hand, but also to your soul. Constantly rejecting and belittling yourself, even in your own mind is not a positive way to live.
 

To live positively, you need to realize that "anything is possible" and that you CAN DO ANYTHING! Tell yourself this before you start your day, everyday or before you start a new project "I CAN DO ANYTHING!" 

Story: The King, The Cake and 2 Beggers

Long  time  ago there  lived  a  great king  and  two beggars
  who always  stood  at the  gate  of  his  palace  everyday.
 
As  the  king  rode by  everyday,  the 1st beggar would say 
'blessed  is  he whom  the  king helps' while  the 2nd beggar
 would say 'blessed is he whom God helps'. 
 
The  king  always felt  pleased  to hear  the  praise  of the 1st  beggar.
 
One  evening  the king  decided  to reward  the  1st beggar  for
  all  the praise;  he  ordered his  baker  to  bake a  cake  and
  wrapped gold inside  the  cake.
 
The  next day  as  he  rode  by, 
he gave  the  cake  to the  1st beggar  as he  hailed  him  as usual. 
 
The 1st beggar  who  was  in  dire need  of  cash  sold
  the  cake  to  the 2nd beggar at  a cheap  price. 
 
When the 2nd beggar cut open the cake he saw the gold,
 sold them and became a wealthy man. 
 
He did not return back to the kings gate the next day.
 
As  the  king  rode out  of  his  palace the  next day,  
he saw  the  1st beggar  still  begging for money  and 
stopped  to  ask him  if  he  ate  the cake  he  gave  him.
 
The  1st beggar replied  and  said  
"No  sir,  I  sold  it  to my  friend  who  was  here
  with  me yesterday;  I  have not  seen  him today"
 
The  king shook his head highly 
disappointed and confessed silently
 to himself that 
" Indeed Blessed is he - Who God helps"  

Our  God  is  the  all knowing God, 
HE has  not  forgotten you. 
God  always does His work just in time.

Be  blessed  and  Trust  God  
even when  you  don't understand
  His WILL. 
Someday your blessings 
shall be in abundance

​Where Do You Find Your Treasure


"Steve Jobs," the founder of the company (Apple);after a long battle with cancer died, left the company reached a market value of US $ 700 billion, the most expensive company in history.

Read what he wrote:
 
"I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world.In others' eyes, my life is an epitome of success.However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.

At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.
In the darkness, I look at the green lights from the life supporting machines and hear the humming mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of God and of death drawing closer…

Now I know, when we have accumulated sufficient wealth to last our lifetime, we should pursue other matters that are unrelated to wealth…

Should be something that is more important:

Perhaps relationships, perhaps art, perhaps a dream from younger days …

Non-stop pursuing of wealth will only turn a person into a twisted being, just like me.

God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in everyone's heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.

The wealth I have won in my life I cannot bring with me.

What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.

That's the true riches which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on.

Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Go where you want to go. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.

What is the most expensive bed in the world? – "Sick bed" …

You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.

Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – "Life".

When a person goes into the operating room, he will realize that there is one book that he has yet to finish reading – "Book of Healthy Life".

Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.

Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends…

Treat yourself well. Cherish others."
Reference: Noble Mindset Facebook page

Vision, Goals, Strategies And Action Plans

Vision, Goals, Strategies And Action Plans

A vision is what you can see but not yet reach. The most powerful dimension of vision is not the long term dimension but actually the way you choose to see yourself in your work, circumstances, relationships, etc. Important changes start occurring by simply choosing to see things and people differently. That will have a huge influence on the decisions you make and the results. This is the power of vision.

Goals are aimed at achieving the vision. They should be achievable in a short span of time and represent what you can see and reach. Goals should be specific, measurable, actionable, relevant and time bound (SMART).

Clarification of goals then sets the agenda for the strategies (how) that are necessary to achieve those goals, to drive those goals forward.

The strategies then need to be broken down into very specific action plans.

Attitude of Gratitude

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.”
– Brian Tracy

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“The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

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“If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.”
– James Herriot
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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
– Melody Beattie

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“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”
– William Arthur Ward 

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 “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
– Melody Beattie 

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“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”
– Zig Ziglar 

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“It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.”
– Eckhart Tolle 

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“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”
– Henry Van Dyke 

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 “Gratitude is a mark of a noble soul and a refined character. We like to be around those who are grateful.”
– Joseph B. Wirthlin 

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 “For me, every hour is grace. And I feel gratitude in my heart each time I can meet someone and look at his or her smile.”
– Elie Wiesel 

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 “When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.”
– Kristin Armstrong 

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“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”
– Marcus Tullius Cicero 

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“Everything we do should be a result of our gratitude for what God has done for us.”
– Lauryn Hill 

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Win-Win Negotiation : Finding a fair compromise

Negotiation skills can help you. The aim of win-win negotiation is to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties.

There are different styles of negotiation, depending on circumstances.

Where you do not expect to deal with people ever again and you do not need their goodwill e.g. buy or sell a house.

When there is a great deal at stake in a negotiation, then it may be appropriate to behave in 'gamesmanship' to gain advantage. Anyone who has been involved with large sales negotiations will be familiar with this. This approach is not good for resolving disputes with people with whom you have an ongoing relationship: Similarly, using tricks and manipulation during a negotiation can undermine trust and damage teamwork. Here, honesty and openness are almost always the best policies.


Depending on the scale of the disagreement, some preparation may be appropriate for conducting a successful negotiation. it should strengthens your position, it should not weaken the other person's.

However, if you need to resolve a major disagreement, then make sure you prepare thoroughly. Some of the points you should consider like:-

What do you want to get out of the negotiation? What do you think the other person wants? What level is comfortable giving away? What other alternatives do you have? Does failure to reach an agreement cut you out of future opportunities? And what alternatives might the other person have? What is the history of the relationship? What are precedents set before? What are the consequences for you of winning or losing this negotiation? Who has what power in the relationship? Etc.. Etc...

For a negotiation to be 'win-win', both parties should feel positive about the negotiation once it's over. This helps people keep good working relationships afterwards.

Emotion can be an important subject of discussion because people's emotional needs must fairly be met. Be as detached as possible when discussing your own emotions - perhaps discuss them as if emotions belong to someone else.

In an ideal situation, you will find that the other person wants what you are prepared to trade, and that you are prepared to give what the other person wants.

If this is not the case and one person must give way, then it is fair for this person to try to negotiate some form of compensation. Ultimately, both sides should feel comfortable with the final solution if the agreement is to be considered win-win.