It can be difficult for divorced parents to put aside their disagreements to raise kids, but when they do, their children will have an eas...
It can be difficult for divorced parents to put aside their disagreements to raise kids, but when they do, their children will have an easier time adjusting to the situation.
When looking to alleviate stressful or emotion-packed moments, co-parents should keep in mind the following:
Communicating Effectively
Divorced couples who communicate well tend to ease their children’s pain. This includes listening when the ex is talking, keeping things short and kid-focused, and finding ways to be flexible. Co-parents should have some autonomy on how they handle things in their respective homes such as bedtime and junk food, but they need to agree on some basic elements such as education and medical decisions. If this is not possible, divorce attorneys can help resolve disputes.
Setting Boundaries
Respecting privacy and boundaries is important in divorce. For example, hiring a sitter instead of asking the ex to take the kids on his or her weekend off can go a long way toward maintaining a peaceful relationship. Additionally, divorced parents should never say anything negative about each other to the kids. Successful co-parents put their children first and keep personal feelings to themselves, even if that means not sharing an ex’s rude or flaky behavior.
Creating Structure
Children thrive on structure. Co-parents should do their best to keep to a schedule. This will help maintain a sense of safety and security for kids. Google calendar is a good option, and apps such as WeParent and Cozi assist co-parents in providing the kids with order and structure. They even allow a user to share photos of events that the ex couldn’t attend.
Gathering Support
Both parents should have a support network of friends and family. Whether a divorce is peaceful or messy, it is important for co-parents to have their own people they rely on and vent to when stressed or upset. This will improve the emotional health of both parents and make it less likely that an ex will talk the other parent down in front of the kids.
Giving Choices
When possible, divorced parents should let their children assist in making choices. A sense of control is important to a child who feels helpless and scared about his or her parents’ separation. This can be something small such as which toys to leave at the other house. Or it can be bigger, such as who will accompany the child on a class trip.
Divorce can bring out the worst behavior in the parties involved. Respectful dialogue and proper organization will help restore peace to the family, which will improve the children’s growth and success.
