The Complete Guide to Getting Through Hard Times ⏱ Reading time: about 9-10 minutes Some seasons of life are simply hard. A job ends ...
The Complete Guide to Getting Through Hard Times
⏱ Reading time: about 9-10 minutes
Some seasons of life are simply hard. A job ends without warning. Money becomes tight. Someone you love falls ill or passes away. A relationship breaks down. A plan you worked on for years does not work out. Sometimes it is not one big event but several smaller ones arriving together, until you feel you are carrying more than you can hold.
During these periods, ordinary advice can feel empty. "Stay positive" is not much help when you are struggling to sleep, make decisions, or get through the day. What helps is something more practical: a way to stay steady today, protect your basic health, get support, and slowly rebuild a sense of direction.
This guide will not promise that your difficulty will disappear quickly. It offers something more realistic: small, repeatable steps that help you get through the hard part, one day at a time.
The key idea: You do not have to solve your whole situation today. Your job during a hard time is to stay steady enough to take the next reasonable step. Recovery is usually built from many small steps, not one big breakthrough.
Table of Contents
- Key takeaways
- Name what you are going through
- Get through today, not the whole year
- Protect the basics: sleep, food and movement
- Separate the problem from the panic
- Allow yourself to feel it
- Do not carry it alone
- Rebuild control with small decisions
- Reduce the extra noise
- Hold on to meaning, faith and values
- Keep a little room for humor
- Remember what you have survived before
- First steps for different kinds of hard times
- Your personal hard-times plan
- A 7-day steadying plan
- When to get more help
- Conclusion
Key Takeaways: Your Hard-Times Toolkit
| Area | Practical action |
|---|---|
| Right now | Focus on getting through today. Choose one or two things that must be done and let the rest wait. |
| Body | Protect sleep, eat regular simple meals, drink water and move a little each day. |
| Mind | Separate facts from fears. Write down what you can control and act on one item. |
| People | Tell at least one trusted person what is happening, and ask for specific help. |
| Direction | Make one small decision each day. Small progress rebuilds a sense of control. |
| Support | Seek professional help early if the difficulty is affecting your health, safety or daily functioning. |
1. Name What You Are Going Through
When life becomes difficult, everything can blur into one heavy feeling. You may simply feel "bad" without knowing exactly why. Naming the situation clearly is the first step toward managing it.
Try completing this sentence: "Right now I am dealing with ______, and it is affecting my ______." For example: "Right now I am dealing with the loss of my job, and it is affecting my confidence, my sleep and my finances."
This does not fix anything, but it turns a fog into something with edges. Once you can see the shape of the problem, you can start working on its separate parts instead of fighting everything at once.
2. Get Through Today, Not the Whole Year
One of the heaviest parts of a hard time is imagining the future. Your mind jumps ahead to next month, next year and every possible bad outcome. Suddenly you are not only dealing with today's problem but with a dozen imagined problems that have not happened.
Bring your attention back to a shorter time frame. Ask: "What do I need to do today?" If today feels too big, ask: "What do I need to do in the next hour?"
The "Must, Should, Can Wait" list: Each morning, write three short headings.
- Must: one or two things that genuinely need to happen today.
- Should: things that would help if you have energy.
- Can wait: everything else. Give yourself permission to leave it.
On difficult days, completing only the "Must" list is a success. You are not being lazy. You are managing limited energy wisely.
3. Protect the Basics: Sleep, Food and Movement
When you are going through something painful, the basics are often the first things to slip. You skip meals, stay up late scrolling, stop exercising and spend more time sitting and worrying. Unfortunately, a tired and poorly fed body makes every problem feel heavier.
You do not need a perfect routine. Aim for a "good enough" baseline:
- Go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time, even if sleep is broken.
- Eat simple, regular meals, even small ones.
- Drink enough water through the day.
- Step outside or walk for at least 10 minutes.
- Limit caffeine late in the day if your sleep is already disturbed.
Sleep deserves special attention, because hard times and sleepless nights tend to feed each other. For a detailed approach, read The Ultimate Guide to Better Sleep.
4. Separate the Problem From the Panic
Every hard situation has two parts: the actual problem and the panic around it. The problem might be "I have lost my income." The panic might be "I will never find work again, I will lose everything, and everyone will see me as a failure."
The first statement is a fact that needs a plan. The second is a prediction that feels like a fact. Learning to tell them apart gives you back a surprising amount of energy.
Try this: Draw two columns on a page. In the first, write "What has actually happened." In the second, write "What I am afraid will happen." Then ask of each fear: "What is one thing I can do to prepare for or reduce this?" Fears that have no action attached can be set aside for now.
This works hand in hand with the "control test" and the 60-second reset described in The Ultimate Stress Management Guide, which is worth keeping close during any difficult season.
5. Allow Yourself to Feel It
Many people try to get through hard times by pushing their feelings down. They stay busy, act strong for others and tell themselves they should be over it by now. Sometimes this helps for a short while. But feelings that are constantly ignored tend to return as irritability, exhaustion, or sudden emotional outbursts.
Sadness, anger, fear and disappointment are normal responses to loss and uncertainty. Feeling them does not mean you are weak or failing to cope. It usually means you are human and something important to you has been affected.
Give your feelings some space in a safe way: write in a journal for 10 minutes, talk honestly with someone you trust, take a quiet walk, or pray or reflect if that is part of your life. You do not need to feel better immediately. You just need to stop fighting yourself.
6. Do Not Carry It Alone
Hard times often push people into isolation. You may feel embarrassed, not want to be a burden, or simply lack the energy to explain. Yet isolation usually makes difficulties feel larger and more permanent.
Choose at least one trusted person and tell them what is happening. It could be a family member, friend, colleague, religious leader or counselor. You do not have to share everything with everyone.
When people offer to help, they often do not know what to do. Make it easier by asking for something specific:
- "Could you check in with me on Friday?"
- "Could you review my CV this week?"
- "Could you sit with me while I go through these bills?"
- "Could you take the children for two hours on Saturday?"
Specific requests are easier to say yes to, and they turn general sympathy into practical support.
7. Rebuild Control With Small Decisions
A hard time often feels like life is happening to you. One of the fastest ways to recover a sense of control is to make small, deliberate decisions and follow through on them.
These decisions do not need to be dramatic. Sending one job application, making one phone call, clearing one drawer, paying one bill, or preparing one healthy meal all count. Each completed action sends a quiet message to your mind: "I can still move things forward."
The one-step rule: Before bed, write down one small step you will take tomorrow. Make it so small that you are confident you can do it even on a bad day. When you complete it, tick it off. Over a few weeks, those ticks become visible evidence that you are moving.
8. Reduce the Extra Noise
When you are already struggling, you have less capacity for additional stress. Yet many people unintentionally add more: hours of distressing news, comparing their lives with others on social media, or spending time with people who criticize or drain them.
For a while, be protective of your attention:
- Check news once or twice a day instead of constantly.
- Mute or unfollow accounts that make you feel worse about your situation.
- Limit time with people who judge rather than support.
- Postpone non-essential commitments and decisions where possible.
This is not running away from life. It is temporarily lowering the load so you have strength for what really matters.
9. Hold On to Meaning, Faith and Values
People who get through difficult periods often describe holding on to something larger than the problem itself. For some, it is faith and prayer. For others, it is responsibility to family, a sense of purpose, or personal values they refuse to give up.
Ask yourself: "Who or what am I doing this for?" and "What kind of person do I want to be while I go through this?" You may not control the outcome of your situation, but you can decide to face it with patience, honesty and dignity.
A simple daily practice can help: each evening, note one thing you are grateful for and one thing you did that matched your values. On hard days, both lists may be short, and that is fine.
10. Keep a Little Room for Humor
Laughing during a hard time does not mean you are not taking it seriously. A few moments of lightness can release tension, reconnect you with people and remind you that life is still more than the current problem.
Watch something that genuinely makes you laugh, spend time with a friend who lifts your mood, or share a funny memory with family. Use humor gently, and never to dismiss someone else's pain.
For a lighter take on handling pressure at work, have a look at 9 Quick Tips for Stress Management for Professionals on Exceediance.
11. Remember What You Have Survived Before
When you are in the middle of a difficult period, it can feel permanent. But you have almost certainly been through hard times before, and you are still here.
Think back to an earlier difficulty. How did you get through it? Who helped you? What did you learn? What strengths did you use that you might be forgetting now? Write these down. They are evidence, not just encouragement.
When plans fall apart, it also helps to remember that detours are part of most life stories. 8 Reasons Not To Worry If Life Isn't Going As Planned! offers a useful perspective when your life has gone off the path you expected.
12. First Steps for Different Kinds of Hard Times
Every difficulty is different, but some practical first steps apply to common situations:
| Situation | Helpful first steps |
|---|---|
| Job loss | Understand your final pay and entitlements, update your CV, tell your network, and create a simple daily job-search routine. |
| Financial pressure | List all income and essential expenses, pause non-essential spending, and speak early with lenders or landlords rather than avoiding them. |
| Illness (yours or a loved one's) | Write down questions before medical appointments, keep documents in one place, and share caregiving tasks with others. |
| Grief and loss | Allow grief its own pace, accept practical help, and avoid major life decisions in the first months where possible. |
| Relationship breakdown | Lean on friends and family, limit arguments by communicating in writing if needed, and protect children from adult conflict. |
| Failure or setback | Separate the event from your identity, review what you can learn, and set one small next goal. |
13. Your Personal Hard-Times Plan
It is much easier to plan for difficult days while you are relatively calm. Fill this in now and keep it on your phone or on paper where you can reach it quickly.
My Hard-Times Plan
- What I am going through: __________________________
- My "must do" priorities this week: __________________________
- People I can call: __________________________
- Things that steady me: __________________________
- Things I need to avoid for now: __________________________
- A past difficulty I got through: __________________________
- Where I can get professional help: __________________________
14. A 7-Day Steadying Plan
If you feel overwhelmed, do not try to apply this whole guide at once. Use this simple week to steady yourself.
| Day | Practice | Goal |
|---|---|---|
| Day 1 | Write one sentence naming what you are going through. | Turn a fog into a clear problem. |
| Day 2 | Use the "Must, Should, Can Wait" list. | Reduce the load of the day. |
| Day 3 | Tell one trusted person and ask for one specific kind of help. | Stop carrying it alone. |
| Day 4 | Separate facts from fears on paper. | Quiet the panic. |
| Day 5 | Sleep at a regular time and take a 10-minute walk. | Protect your body. |
| Day 6 | Write down a past difficulty you got through and how. | Remember your strength. |
| Day 7 | Complete your Hard-Times Plan and choose next week's one small step. | Build direction. |
If you would like another way to reflect on how you are coping, our short Self Assessment Quizzes can help you notice patterns in your stress, emotions and habits. Each takes about two minutes.
15. When to Get More Help
Self-help steps can make a real difference, but some difficulties need more support than any guide can provide. Consider speaking with a doctor, counselor or mental-health professional if:
- You have felt low, hopeless or numb for more than two weeks.
- You are struggling to work, eat, sleep or care for yourself.
- You are relying on alcohol, substances or other unhealthy ways to cope.
- Your relationships or responsibilities are seriously suffering.
If you are in crisis: If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or feel you cannot keep yourself safe, please contact your local emergency number or a crisis helpline in your country straight away, or go to the nearest hospital. Reaching out in that moment is a sign of strength.
Asking for help early is not a failure. It is one of the wisest and most responsible decisions you can make during a hard time.
A Quick Hard-Times Checklist
- Name what you are going through.
- Focus on today and the next small step.
- Protect your sleep, meals and movement.
- Separate facts from fears.
- Allow yourself to feel without judging yourself.
- Tell one trusted person and ask for specific help.
- Make one small decision each day.
- Reduce news, comparison and negative influences.
- Hold on to your faith, values and purpose.
- Leave some room for laughter.
- Remember what you have already survived.
- Get professional help early when you need it.
Conclusion: One Day at a Time Is Still Moving Forward
Hard times rarely end on a schedule. There may be good days followed by setbacks, and progress may be slower than you hoped. That does not mean you are failing. It means you are going through something real.
You do not need to be strong every moment or have every answer. Get through today. Protect the basics. Let people help you. Take one small step, then another. Over time, those steps add up to a way through.
And one day, you may look back on this season as the time you discovered more strength, patience and resilience than you knew you had.
This article is intended for general education and self-reflection. It is not a substitute for professional medical, mental-health, financial or legal advice. If you are struggling, please reach out to a qualified professional or someone you trust.
