Why is it so difficult for us to forgive others?
Why do we find it so hard to let go?
Sometimes, even years after a certain incident took place;
sometimes, even after they have apologized; sometimes, when they have
hurt you unknowingly and have no idea that you are
struggling to forgive them.
Because we are usually under the misconception that
we will be doing them a favour by forgiving them.
In fact, that is not the case.
Many other emotions stem from the lack of forgiveness.
We hold guilt, shame, frustration and close the shutters of our
heart to the sunshine of life. When we forgive someone,
we actually do ourselves a huge favour because through forgiveness,
we release all the negative thoughts, emotions and energies
that we are so desperately holding onto in our anger.
Replaying the moment again and again in our mind, torturing
ourselves in so many ways....
It hurts us more than them, when we don't forgive.
We find it hard to forgive because we think we are in a
more powerful position when we hold back forgiveness.
Actually we are the weak ones, if that's the kind of
power we rely on to give us strength.
We are also not able to forgive because
we take everything so personally.
Probably the other person didn't deliberately do it
with the conscious intention of hurting you.
Sometimes they are just trying to protect themselves and that's the
best way they know. Haven't you heard of the saying 'the best defence is offence'?
We need to give the benefit of doubt to others and not take things too
personally. So even if they did that for selfish reasons, go ahead and forgive.
First, forgive yourself for holding onto the grudge.
Then, forgive the other person.
Finally, be proud of yourself.