Disagreement is part of everyday business life. But it takes strong communication skills to turn it into consensus. I face at least one d...
Disagreement is part of everyday business life. But it takes strong communication skills to turn it into consensus.
I face at least one disagreement every day. Maybe “fight” is too strong a word—but let’s say differences of opinion happen daily.
That’s perfectly fine. As a consultant, part of my job is to challenge the status quo—and the status quo always pushes back. If every disagreement ended badly, I wouldn’t keep my clients for very long. Over the years, I’ve learned that disagreeing well is a skill.
Sometimes, it takes friction to create traction. As organizations weigh new ideas, tight resources, and growing pressures, disagreements are inevitable. Even if you’re the boss, you’ll want to move toward building consensus.
Here are seven techniques I’ve found useful to turn disagreements into progress instead of conflict:
1. Find Common Ground
Agreement is easier when you identify what you do share. Start by pointing out the areas you both agree on: “I think we both see it this way …” and get confirmation. If the conversation heats up or drifts, return to that common ground to reset.
2. Concede Truth Wherever It Exists
Acknowledge the points the other person makes that are valid. This opens the door for them to also recognize your points. By making the first move, you create an atmosphere of mutual acceptance.
3. Acknowledge Emotion
When emotions enter the conversation, facts and logic often take a backseat. Don’t ignore anger or frustration—recognize it. Validating emotions doesn’t mean conceding the argument, but it helps lower tension and steer back to reason.
4. Ask More Than You Tell
Explaining endlessly rarely convinces someone. Instead, ask questions. Questions uncover what matters most to the other person, and often lead to insights that can unlock compromise.
5. Appeal to Balance, Not Fairness
“Fairness” can be a loaded term. Instead, talk about “balance.” It’s easier to get agreement on balancing resources, responsibilities, or perspectives than on what’s “fair.”
6. Call Time-Outs
If both sides are stuck repeating themselves, take a break. Step back, give it a day or two, and return fresh. Time creates perspective.
7. Follow Ground Rules
Set simple but crucial rules for disagreements:
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No personal attacks.
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Keep language professional.
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Stay focused on the issue.
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Avoid threats.
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Don’t say what you can’t take back.
Final Thought:
Disagreements are natural in business. What matters is how you navigate them. Use these techniques to move toward consensus. With the right approach, friction can create traction instead of barriers.
